Midnight Pals: Biology (Patreon)

JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i am born again! hallelujah!
Rowling: tell me
Rowling: have you heard
Rowling: the good word about biology?
Poe: what
Poe: what is this now?

Rowling: on the Scottish census, i answered that my religion is "biology"
Poe:
King:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Barker: damnnnn
Barker: that's real edgy

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers?
Poe: joanne says her religion is biology
Shelley: haha yes... YES!!!
Poe: yes?
Shelley: Yes! that's right, fuckers!
Shelley: throw out the false morality of religion!! embrace soulless science!

Shelley: finally! The pure, terrifying light of science burns away the shadows of superstition!
Shelley: unencumbered by the false morality of so-called religion, mankind can tamper, unimpeded, in God's domain!
Shelley: we can make SO many abominations!
Shelley: i fuckin' love it!

Rowling: no that iss the oppossite of what i'm trying to ssay
Shelley: that's cuz you're weak
Shelley: we're attack and dethrone God, fuckers!!

Rowling: that iss not what i meant!
Rowling: i meant i hate transs people
Shelley: yeah i know what you meant
Shelley: i don't give a shit
Shelley: my idea is way cooler
Barker: yeah she's right that is way cooler

Rowling: no! my religion of biology is actually ANTI-abomination
Rowling: i think abominationss are bad
Rowling: i'm against them! all of them!
Barker: and what abominations are these?
Rowling: you know
Rowling: transs, fat people, and toiletsss
Barker: ya know what, you've lost me

Shelley: abominations are so hot right now
Shelley: i'm really into them
Barker: not gonna lie i'm actually pretty excited about these abominations now

Koontz: gosh i don't know about all this
Shelley: dean what if you made a dog that was SO big
Koontz: so big?
Shelley: yeah like SO big uh
Shelley: so big you needed 2 hands to pet it
Koontz: wow!
Koontz: that's a big dog!
Koontz: that's so big you'd better lead, follow, or get out of the way!

Rowling: thatss the problem with you lot
Rowling: alwaysss sso busssy thinking about how to make a big dog, you don't ssstop to think whether you SHOULD make a big dog