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Gemma Amor: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this the tale of the six rooms
Amor: so there’s this historic house--
King: oh like the Biltmore!
Amor:
Amor: [through gritted teeth] sure like the Biltmore

Amor: so this historic house actually has a very interesting history
King: you know, the Biltmore house also has an interesting history
Koontz: what’s this Biltmore?
King: it’s america’s biggest house
Koontz: wowww!
Amor: [muttering] it’s not that big

Amor: so the sunshire house might not be as big as the Biltmore house but--
Barker: not as big as the Biltmore? Why even bother then
Poe: now now clive I’m sure gemma is about to tell us why the sunshire is interesting
Amor: yes
Poe: despite not being as big as the Biltmore house
Amor:

Amor: so anyway the sunshire house
King: what’s the architectural style called?
Amor: we like to say it’s a medley of styles-
King: the Biltmore house is Loire Valley chateaux style
Poe: nice, I like a house with a coherent unifying style
Koontz: can we go to the Biltmore today?
Amor:

Amor: now the sunshire house is full of many historical artifacts from original owner Charles Lester
King: how many of the artifacts are original
Amor: we usually say about 30 %
King: is the kitchen staged with plastic fruit to simulate what it would have been like back in the day
Amor: yes
Koontz: is the plastic fruit original

Amor: so anyway
King: are the carpets original
Amor: the carpets have been replaced
Amor: anyway
Barker: hey what’s the theme statement of this interpretive tour
Amor:
Barker: haha
Poe: clive
Barker: no no I want to know
Barker: I think freeman tilden would want me to ask ha ha

Amor: you know what
Amor: this tour is over
Barker: aw c’mon we were just funnin’
Amor: all of you out
Amor: there’s the exit!
Amor: right through the gift shop!

Amor: another day volunteering at the sunshire house. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the authentic ionic promenade architecture. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

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