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Tortle Tank: I'm In, Therefore, I'm Out (w/ Zac Oyama) (Patreon)

Published:
2024-11-08 00:35:31
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2026-06
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Content

AD-FREE EPISODE FOR $5+ PATRONS!

Welcome to Tortle Tank, the show where the world's richest reptiles review your D&D homebrew and decide whether or not to invest their hard-earned eggs. This week, shellebrity guest Zac Oyama joins the Torts as they hear pitches about utilizing expended spell slots, finding advantage in disadvantage, and the power of training montages. Let's dive right in!

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Comments

The Fun Yaunt

A much needed break from reading the news!!! 😭❤️

joel

praise dice christ we have naddpod. love to everyone

tatsuo takao

FINALLY SOMETHING TO BRING ME JOY

Brady Young

OH FUCK YES we got ZAC OYAMA let's get down to fucking business!!!!

Leah Turner

this show is the only thing keeping me sane this week 🥹

tatsuo takao

ANOTHER TANNER OH MY.

Myka Donati

Love y'all, thank you for still putting out entertainment

Lizardcera

You guys are the cool dewy glass of water in the desert of our modern hellscape

Jake Alcott

Can’t wait to see you in Medford!

Jesse Dunlap

Crazy they can have fun and a laugh. I’m so glad for it!!!

A. Lee. S

Wow! You turned this episode out quickly! We appreciate you and appreciate Zac being on-call 😁

Austin Gumbiner

IDEA FOR CALDWELL'S PATERNITY LEAVE!!!! Have Jake DM a Deadeye prequel two-shot, with Brennan returning, Emily as Jolene, and Murph as Ol Cobb!!!

Hammy

We’re back in the tank, folks

Chase

The charged spell idea is cool - there are a couple of spells in pf2e that let you extend the casting time to 2 rounds for significantly more damage and larger area effects. The ones I know of off hand are Inner Radiance Torrent and Horizon Thunder Sphere, but it's possible there are others

dryptid

woah murph breaking the script and saying fuck twitter we love to see it

Nathaniel F.

I misunderstood the assignment and posted more of a dungeon court submission. Dangit. I’ll do better next time, Tortlerific Titans.

Hostage4hire

any time we’re close to the end of an arc someone inevitably goes on paternity leave and i gotta say im conditioned at this point

Nathaniel F.

Training montage is great with huge modifications. I already try and convince my DM every campaign to let me work towards new proficiencies and feats by constantly training in downtime. Maybe some better structure, no d4, will be helpful to him

Hornleaf
>>154668479

The second idea is essentially downtime retraining from 2e as well (without the problematic d4)

Frank

Thank god this is back…

Hornleaf

A lot of these ideas, especially the first two, are just more clunky versions of actual rules for pathfinder 2e.

ROMCOM

are we all glossing over the fact that garden snake hurwits said “you got rizz”??!! 😭❤️

Neil Dutton

Exclusively using the d100 to roll for hp on a level up

Sam

Love you guys so much!

Nick Lerche

"the yolk is not worth the crack" is pretty good

Lilli Jaye

This is a delicious and soft boiled series.

gogo boots

Rotating heroes!!!!

CommodoreBlue

Caldwell’s first stream after he’s back from his paternity leave should be drawing you four as turtles

Michael Rosenthal

I love how earnestly taken aback Surphy's "what?" Is when Shemily goes all in with the brood. Gotta keep em guessin, that's why she touts that top tank turt title

CommodoreBlue

The case for the training montage sounds a lot like Brennan Lee Mulligan’s downtime mechanic for Unsleeping City Season 2, but just if everyone was trying to gain a skill proficiency with their downtime (or expertise if you’re already proficient).

Gnarrrwhal

Love Murph’s energy for Twitter today. My feelings exactly

GAEULsbn

Binge NADDPOD over the course of a few months. Subscribe to the patreon. Basically double existing content. Binge again. I am euphoric in this moment..

Nova

Didn’t they fully use the Duttle Potion in the Thiala fight?

Verdigree

The montage thing doesn't make sense as it's own thing because what it's describing is just what earning a Feat actually represents, learning a thing. What I think that homebrewer actually wants and should do is give more feats

Verdigree

Paying Hit Points to cast a spell works for a Sorcerer because their very being is their font of power, but I think every class should have a different price, Warlocks owe a debt to their patron, Wizards damage their minds, clerics succumb to temptation or damage their soul, Druids harm nature, and so on

Three days since the living room

The one about taking damage when casting a spell when out of spell slots, I think it would also be good if it reduces your max hp by that much, until you take a long rest

Blaize Gordon

The charge spell though def gives a feel of what you see in some fantasy or gaming things where they go "I need to charge this up, keep them off me" which is really cool but needs a bit of work

Rebecca N

I hate to be this guy, but for anyone who is actually curious: Turtles/Tortoises are actually hatched with their shells and it grows with them. It's fused to their spines, so they aren't able to leave them/exchange shells for bigger ones/etc. And that's been: Animal Facts with Me! Thank you

Totally Offside
>>154709763

No, baby turtles/tortoises are born naked and live in their parents shell for 18-25 years. They save up for their dream shells. They frequently employ realtortoises to help them book showings, handle the purchase paperwork, and what not.

Totally Offside
>>154687499

Kinda like the fantasy high junior year mechanic too. That system, came with a cost for things you aren't focusing on in addition to the benefit on the thing you are.

Rebecca N
>>154709763

Aw man, how could I possibly forget about realtortoises? You got me this time

CommodoreBlue
>>154687499

Yeah, and I’m pretty sure Adaine got to learn more spells with her downtime. I can’t remember offhand if anyone ever gained a proficiency or expertise, but it sounds like a much cleaner version of the training montage pitch either way

Gearbox

I'm never really a fan of downtime activities that improve stats, unless you're in a game that specifically has a lot of uses for downtime, running personal quests or making magic items, etc. I'm also of the opinion that if you're committing that much time to learning stealth or whatever, that represents you taking a level in a class with that proficiency, rather than just adding it to you.

The Wizard Spring
>>154691620

No, they used it in the fight against Duttle. He gave it to them to use in the tavern with the fighting match but they kept it until the big fight of the arc

Totally Offside
>>154687499

Yeah it was more home brew benefits than proficiency or anything like that. Adaine got more spells and stopped having to account for the cost of spell components because of her choices. Fabian gained advantages in persuasion by focusing on popularity but also took on stress (which had various disadvantages) in order to keep up. Pretty clean system.

Molly

Casting healing spells without a spell slot, but you take whatever amount of damage you heal seems dope

Anthony Michael Lazarony
>>154709763

It’s all about location location location in the Real Esturtle world, with how fast they walk you really have to watch out for that commute

Brandon Stone

Zac gotta be the first person on both the yard and Naddpod content

shrimpy_senpai
>>154687689

Omg yeah my feelings felt so validated when he expressed that energy for Twitter. It really was the "cherry on top" to such a fun sode!

Ilana Galpert

There's a huge issue with the first pitch tweaks but it's easily fixed. If you're charging up an AOE like fireball you could nuke your whole party if it goes off on you, so you'd have to eliminate aoes. There's also a huge chance of downing yourself with massive damage

SeminoleDVM

“Don’t tweet about the show. I fucking hate that site.” 🤣 Hell yeah, bro.

xatlern

I love everyone's different takes on fantasy energy drinks. My DM has Monster Energy drinks that you can get for 2 silver at any 7-Elven. They come in 6 different flavors named after different DND monsters, each one gives you a 1 minute enhance ability on a different stat. You can't stack them together, but you can chug an energy drink right before you go into a fight and get advantage on all your dex checks if you got the right energy drink.

emmett dupree

ok but i have long running dnd group with my old boss and old employees (i dont even work there anymore but its so fun i still pop in sometimes) i feel like it matters if your boss sucks or not

Alien butt puppet

Lol Jake's intro was giving 3 black halflings intro.

scarlet

I love the flavor of the energy drink thing but def prefer the idea where you can't sleep or even get a long rest the next night.... unless you take another

Hijodeagua

I think they forgot about the potential of using it for damage!

Martian

I think if I were going to do the +1 disadvantage nat 20 thing, I would make it so that it adds +1 to the other die So if you roll with disadvantage and get a 9 and a 20 you then bump that 9 to a 10 I could see myself potentially trying that at my table? But I also give my players a lot of magical items and new powers n shit so that I can go harder on them

A.J.

every time murph tries to demonstrate how bad something is but it makes emily laugh the whole time he's really negating his point

jaydee meowr
>>154714605

One stat vs a whole a class seems like a big difference in time and resources spent

RobTheFarm

Um actually, 3d6 would average 10.5 damage (3.5/d6), and 2d8 only averages 9 damage, so you might be surprised to discover that the original damage was in fact higher than your suggested more brutal damage, Mr. Surfy.

Spencer

I’ve been running with a “desperate spell cost” that feels like the most intuitive solution, in my opinion. Simply put, you can cast a spell without a spell slot if you take points of exhaustion equal to the spell level. It’s an extremely heavy toll whose means of recovery from is already built into the game. And yes, that does mean the character instantly dies if they cast a spell of 6th level or higher. But you know what? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect a wizard to straight up explode after casting Meteor Swarm without the appropriate spell slot. It’s rife for exploitation if there’s even a *chance* of them getting away with something like that consistently.

Turtlebum

The D4 is distasteful for the tortles four.

Benjamin P Parson Gomberg
>>154833611

Um, actually 3d6 averages to a flat 10. It’s not 3.5 per d6, it’s 3 and 4 alternating (3, 4, 3 is the most likely average distribution for 3d6). For even numbers that works out to be the same as 3.5, but you physically can’t roll a 3.5 so you have to account for the real world possible numbers, otherwise you’ll be off when calculating odd amounts.

Jay W

Thank you for choosing mine!!

Ilana Galpert
>>154737627

I can see that working in some dnd groups but i suspect most people would be super pissed if their wizard went rogue and killed their whole party. You need real trust there

Derrick Martinez

I feel like the d100 idea could really work for pathfinder 2e because mid to late game characters rolling these higher numbers between 30-70 even with the modifiers would make sense but still be significant.

Bull

Nat 1 idea for the D4 learning story. They accidentally pick up the wrong book to study. Prior to the roll, DM asks each party member to write down what would your character study, read or have in their belongings during downtimes. On a Nat 1 they still will get a +1 proficiency, but instead of what they wanted, it will be directly related to what one of their party members wrote down and gave to DM. (With DM discretion and interpretation of course) this way it’s not a total loss and it involves the entire table.

Natural Dragon

I play D&D with my boss and I’m the DM. To be fair he wasn’t my boss when we started. When he got the promotion he called me in for our first one on one and I told him “hey man. I know this might be awkward. You know the change in power dynamics. You have to treat me like a regular employee. I’m your DM and I know I’m in the position of power so don’t be afraid to tell me if I need to improve at work” he laughed and told me he needed to hear that.

William Holland

I would love for episodes like this too have video.

Kidtruck91

I'm pretty sure there is downtime rules for proficiency training? It takes weeks an money but I think you can gain proficiencies.

A. Godfrey

Emshelly Leatherbacksford

ursa

re: spells pitches, years ago my dm homebrewed THE COOLEST & most unhinged spell book for me. very involved & thematic backstory aside, one of the features is the ability to cast spells using max hp instead of spell slots! very high risk esp beyond the half hp mark, also super fun & useful in high stakes no-long-rests-here sessions! it's 10% per spell level, the consequences are way longer lasting than just taking damage. it feels like peak wizard brain, i loved it so much!

Cameron A

I think charges should be up by two levels instead of instant crit. Also how do you protect the charging spell caster?

SimpleWater

I love the cause damage to cast extra spells. Feels very shadowrun where you can overexert yourself then pass out or die. Was my favourite mechanic and featured heavily into my role playing of my character not quite understanding his magic and how to rein it in.

Mitchell Blake

Original charge has an issue where a level one wizard could one shot an ancient dragon if he just charged it while he was sleeping

Sara

Congratulations to Caldwell. I hope his family continues to do well. We'll all be here when he's ready to come back! :-)

Dylan Howard
>>154780954

Isn't that exactly what the pitch was? Seems like it needs a -1 for a nat 1 on advantage to balance.

Lauren Cooper

"Mustard party" reminds me of a different kind of party that fellas can have with lemons

SolemnSeagull

"Night" reminds me of "Wake" from The Homebrew.