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Talamasca: The Secret Order - Ep.1X5 "The Puzzle Palace" (Patreon)

Published:
2025-11-26 18:02:41
Imported:
2026-06
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Videos

  • 571049708.mp4

Downloads

  • 571049708.mp4

Missing 1 full-res photo, 1 video.

Content

Honestly? The most unserious thumbnail for the most unserious show I've ever seen XD

lol I'm only half-joking. We're at the penultimate episode folks! After our last little mission went sideways, Guy & Jasper head back to the motherhouse to re-group and plan next steps. However, it seems there's trouble in paradise as our favorite 'lil twink decides to start getting a bit mouthy...

Files

Previews only

Comments

Sam

They need to rest with the Daniel/Guy parallels 🤣. First it was "I'm not your fucking boy" vs "I'm not their fucking boy", this episode it's "I don't want to rest" vs "I don't want to die"

MarySoul

The disheartening thing about this series is that it had a lot of potential and interesting moving pieces, but nothing is happening in a coherent or engaging manner. How awesome would it have been to open with that great scene of him experiencing the vampire's life as a boy with the horse, and then go backwards, telling the story of how we got there while making deep connections that actually make sense? It gets to the point where we’re just like, ‘Okay, so he really liked the first witch? No? Okay, but revenge mode yes? Fine. Homoerotic, no? Fine. Bi? Fine. Reads minds? Okay, doesn’t? Fine. Traitor? I imagine…fine.’ I just think that, at this point, nothing seems to have enough weight. I bet next, the Talamasca lady is either his mom or aunt, and I’ll be like, ‘Okay, fine.’ P.S.: Nothing against the homoerotic or bi-erotic or whatever, it's just that nothing seems erotic enough while trying desperately to be so. 😂

Valaree

Omg best thumbnail ever. Honestly that scene made the episode worth watching, they packed an hour’s worth of homoerotic groping into the first five minutes. 10/10

Valaree
>>194881611

They really needed to spend some time building up the Helen and Guy relationship. Why did they have to make it all so urgent? Why not have her recruit Guy in a more normal way into an organization that isn’t totally broken? Give us an episode of her training him, showing us what the Talamasca actually DOES when it’s functioning normally. Have them discover together that something is rotten in London. Let us like and trust Helen, maybe understand why someone would join this den of vipers, for five minutes please.

Lee

Definitely agree on the Daniel and Jason Schwartzman bait in the first episode. I mean I think we all knew what it was, but literally just the first episode is egregious. And btw you missed the very last crumb they threw to IWTV fans (you were rightfully on a rant): they had like 10 seconds of Lestat’s “Long Face” single playing in a bar in the background when Helen walked in. They really think we’re a cheap date.

Nova
>>194902079

After all those damn promos like "FIRST LISTEN OF LESTAT MUSIC IN TALAMASCA" then bam ten seconds of a song we heard a year ago for the first time. They think we're idiots.

Nova

Honestly, the nonsensical episode titles and random, weird dialogue are really giving "written by an art-hating boomer who fed prompts to chatGPT." There is so much wasted time in this show, so many nonsensical moments, so much boredom. The one semi-exciting theory I had ended up being a big fat fart, nothing matters, there are no stakes, nobody's relationship with each other matters or holds emotional weight. I want to make a cut of all of the times in the after-episode bits where the actors shake their heads in a way that typically suggests "no" while saying things like "I loved recording this scene" seemingly at gun point. Guy's actor talks like Lestat saying "of course!!! :))))" over and over when Louis asks if he can fuck other guys. This show has reinforced so many lessons I've learned about directing in a way I'll always be grateful for, cuz now I know exactly what it looks like when a showrunner/director team doesn't study source material, collaborate with other showrunners, provide character building for their actors before recording, or spend more than ten minutes before rolling going over blocking and dialogue. But regarding zoning out, yeah, it's wild how my wife and I spent the last ten minutes of the finale yapping over it.

kira_ra

The show itself is confused about a lot of things, but what confuses ME as an audience member is... who is this supposed to be for? It's not giving us much in terms of worldbuilding, and we're obviously not seeing an adaptation of anything book-related in this. The only people bothering to watch this are IWTV's predominantly queer audience, so is this show conscious of that and actually giving us something meaningful in terms of representation? These boomer ass writers obviously aren't going for queerbaiting as a marketing tactic, which makes all the tension between Guy and Jasper completely unintentional and therefore extremely funny. So, leaving all that aside, is it entertaining? I watched this episode with my friend and we started yapping over it mid-way to the end, I think it's safe to say we're ALL zoning out at this point.

PunKat

By far the best thing about this show is the crazy tension between Jasper and Guy, unfortunately I doubt they'll make use of that potential should there be a season 2 (fanfiction writers, work your magic). Other than that, I gave up hoping for a good plot and writing past episode 2 and enjoyed this show like a silly B-movie. But it is saddening how it could've been a good show, if someone actually cared to make it good.

Devon Michelle

Louis took longer to heal cuz he’s a weaker vampire. If Jasper has the mind gift then he’s working with better blood, that would cut his healing time significantly. A vampire’s power has more to do with who turned them and how many fledglings came before. They haven’t touched on it yet but I bet Daniel is one tough fledgling considering Armand turned him and there were no fledglings before him. Of course age does make all vampires stronger but I don’t think Jasper is super old. Jasper drank the vial after he’d already healed significantly but I’m sure after drinking that he’ll be top form.

Devon Michelle

Guy did try to read Doris’ mind when he met her. She got mad at him and said if he wanted to know something then he should ask her.