Chapter 73 – All these things that I’ve done (Patreon)

A/N: Sorry everyone, it's been a bit. A lot of stress and some less than solid medical decisions on my part had me out of commission and struggling for a bit. I can't say I'm 100% yet, but I'm trying. This first chapter back is a bit of a short one, though it's because that's where it was right to end it. I hope to have another for you soon.

Communication is not really my strong suit, especially when things get rough, but please know that I am not going anywhere, the story will go on and I hope to bring you many, many, more chapters over the coming months and hopefully years.

Now, onto what you've been waiting for. More Kori!

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While things were bad, they could always get a bit worse. Thankfully this time that only meant the sky decided it was a perfect time to begin splittingly raining on them. Moving Aef wasn’t really an option yet, especially when the only shelter they had was dragging him under the carts where anyone trying to help him would be stooped over. Between that and the fact they’d still needed to repair the broken yoke that the ox had thrashed into splinters, they didn’t see much choice aside from making camp for the night in the middle of the road.

Leathers that were usually used to enclose the undersides of the carts for sleeping were draped over the injured kobold and attending warrior while everyone else strong enough hauled crates off the carts to build a shelter around them and Zln sat cross-legged under one of the carts to ready the poultice to bind his wounds.

Aef’s breathing remained rasping and shallow as he lay there on the hard packed dirt stained with his blood, teetering on the edge of life as the concoctions slowly fought the draining pull of his bleeding wound. They couldn’t even tell which side was winning now that he had lost consciousness entirely.

The offending oxen bellowed in distress in the background as the warriors corralled it, tying its harness to a tree and forcing its head low to control the beast. When they pulled the spear from its hide it still nearly broke free, coming close to injuring yet another of their group as it wildly fought for freedom to flee from the source of its pain. Once it was forcibly settled, a touch of the remaining dregs of Kori’s ointment were applied to help close the wound before everyone quickly retreated from its range; giving it a wide berth for the remainder of the night.

While all of this was going on, Kori simply stood there. The rain slowly sliding down her tunic and trousers running red as the blood seeped off. Her gaze was focused on a simple vial held within her hand, its description running over and over in her mind as her newest title hovered in her view.

First Blood, Common
You have taken your first step onto the path of violence. You have provided meaningful contribution to the slaying of a creature of at least Tier one prior to receiving your Class.

This title slightly increases the likelihood of receiving and quality of a Combat Class.

There she had it, it didn’t matter if she’d dropped the blade on them herself, she’d provided ‘meaningful contribution’, she was responsible for their deaths just as much as Zln had been.

I had to, didn’t I? They were attacking us… Or did they just want to take some supplies while the others distracted the guards? If I hadn’t done anything, would they have just grabbed a few sacks of grain and run away?

Her thoughts spun through the same circle over and over. The Title drew her mind to the path, the inevitability of which she had once tried to distract herself from, first as a mage or then as a shaman, by focusing on the other aspects, the magic itself, inscribing runes, creating medicines, anything but more brutal aspects of those Classes. The path of blood and violence. A path she had recently thought she’d turned her back on for good.

Is this me? Is this simply life? Do all paths lead to killing in some way?

Her spiraling mind blocked out the water now drenching her clothing and scales, the sounds of those around her working, and even Har drawing her under one of the carts to get her out of the rain.

The others tried to comfort her, their words washing off her scales much as the rain had. Many of the others knew, or could guess, much of what was going though her mind. They’d all seen apprentices on their first hunts. Most of the younglings reveled in it, kobolds weren’t a peaceful race and their upbringing amongst their brood was more often than not, one of violence. But some, more so amongst the mage and shaman apprentices whose training was more detached from direct violence, reacted much the same as she did now.

Even if I shut myself away in my workspace, the things I make are still going to be used to kill, aren’t they?

She thought of each of her creations, everything she had made, even the seemingly benign cleaning solution, was going to be used for fighting and killing. Some of her creations would help prepare for battle, some during, and others after. Even the seemingly benign cleaning solution was a hit with the combatants to cleanse their bloodied claws.

That final thought, which conjured forth the image of Zln’s claws piercing the neck of a goblin as she used it’s still living body to batter its comrades, broke the dam and unleashed the contents of her stomach.

When she was done, a hand gently clasped her shoulder and she nearly began anew when she saw that it belonged to the very same animist.

“Come on, let’s clean you up.” The gentleness in her voice warred with the image Kori couldn’t quite shake as Zln drew her away from her mess and back out into the light rain that pattered onto the cart above them.

She helped Kori peel off her soaked tunic and wipe away the remnants of the various layers of filth that clung to it. Her earlier time standing in the rain had alleviated her of much of the blood and flask residue, but enough remained. Once rinsed of the newest layer of splatter and as much of the rest as possible she led the youngling off to the makeshift enclosure that housed the unconscious trader. As they entered, Zln handed her a spare tunic and helped her dry before sitting alongside the small fire that sat in the middle warming the space.

Off to one side lay Aef, while to the other sat the mage, Fsc, who had turned his back upon seeing Kori’s less than clothed state. Once she was clothed, they all sat, watching the fire and the patient.

“Focus on this.” Zln said, waving her hand towards Aef’s unconscious form, “He’s what’s important right now.” Her reassuring words chipping away at the doubt still swirling around in the youngling’s head. “I’m next to useless when it comes to healing anyone but myself…” She admitted with a frustrated growl. “He’d be dead without your vials and pastes.”

The attempt to redirect her thoughts only brought her to another, equally painful, one, “But he still might die…”

“He might.” Zln agreed, “But you gave him that chance.” She squeezed Kori’s shoulder, only to feel the youngling flinch under her grip and sigh. Fsc gave the shaman a knowing shrug when he saw the reaction.

In a low voice, her gaze pointedly looking away from the claws still resting at one side of her collar, Kori asked the question she hadn’t been able to answer for herself. “Did I… did I do the right thing?”

Zln looked to the mage, a hint of desperation in her eyes as she hoped he’d save her from having to answer the question. His return shrug earning him a quick scowl that promised retribution. “Did you do the right thing?” She echoed, her voice taking on a slightly aggressive tone. “No. The right thing would have been throwing that damn vial when they were further back and not getting yourself in it.”

She shook her head, not that Kori could even look at her yet to see it, “But if you’re asking if you did good, then of course you did. Scale, you probably saved anybody hiding in the carts. Those blighted gobs were either gonna jump up and try to gut everybody up there or use the carts for cover and sneak up on the rest of us. Or both.”

“Oh…”

“Oh?” The older woman chuckled, “Get your tail out from between your legs and be proud of what you did.” Kori chanced another glance at the claws still resting on her shoulder, only blanching slightly this time before she had to redirect her gaze back towards the fire. “Need ta work on your aim, and timing, but I’d have ya alongside any time if you’re gonna be throwin those vials and saving lives.” With the last she finally lifted her hand from Kori’s shoulder to point towards the unconscious trader.

Her words nearly threatened to send Kori into another spiral, the thoughts of fighting alongside Zln nearly too much.

After that they sat in relative silence. Kori noted the bandages wrapped tightly around Aef’s midriff, bloodstained but not appearing to be seeping any longer. His scales still pale and his breathing still shallow. She was hopeful that he was going to make it, but only time would tell if she had made the right choices.