Chapter 76 – The mousetrap (Patreon)

A/N: I'm a bit late on this one, it was fun to write but it is also probably the most dialog heavy chapter I've ever done. It's also the second longest one, with the longest having been the fight itself. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you get the reference of the title, it's probably the least known detail of a very known thing.

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She wasn’t sure whether it was her memory making the trip up feel longer or because they we going downhill, or maybe just because she was dreading standing in front of all of the Elders… again… but it seemed like the trip down from the waystation to Bolst’s workshop and then finally to the central cavern of the clan, went by in a flash.

It occurred to her as they walked, most of her siblings had probably only even met three Elders in their lives, the one that raised them, the one that had told them stories, and the one they apprenticed under. She’d probably spent more time with the group, between her various attempted apprenticeships and all the meetings she stood behind Ortik for, than most kobolds five times her age. And here she was, about to be the center of attention yet again.

The tunnel down may have felt short, but once she saw the doorway leading in the Elder’s chambers each step began to feel like she was dragging stones behind her.

You’d think I’d get used to this by now… this is what, the fourth time? Fifth?

When they finally entered the hall Kori was relieved to find it relatively empty, only Ortik sat in his usual space, arching a brow as he saw them enter.

“You’re early.” He said matter of factly.

Kori wasn’t sure, but Har looked a bit relieved when he saw that just the Chieftain was present. “Good. If I wasn’t than leaving the others to take care of unloading wouldn’t have been worth the mess I’ll need to clean up later.”

She knew that there would be no ‘mess’ to speak of, Har was just particular about how things were arranged and stored. She thought at least one of the traders did it on purpose too.

The Spiritcaller leveled a stare at Kori before shrugging, “I assume you want to talk about your letter?” He asked, “I’ll tell you the same thing I said in my own, bring me a proper plan and we can discuss it.”

Har looked a bit confused for a moment, his thoughts derailed from the intended topic. “What? No… well, yes… but it can wait until later.”

Ortik just shook his head, not understanding whatever it was that had Har in such a fuss. “Well, out with it then. The others should be here soon.”

It took Har a moment to collect his thoughts, he knew what he was about to say wasn’t really the right way to go about things, but he also knew what could happen if his what he feared was about to happen did. Instead of trying to be diplomatic or delicate, he got straight to his point, “Tell Blonc no.”

“Excuse me?” The lack of context threw Ortik off, “Tell Blonc no about what, exactly?”

Unfortunately, the privacy Har had hoped to maintain for at least a few more minutes was dashed as a voice came from the entrance asking a nearly identical question, “Yes, what exactly shall we be telling Martial Strength-for-brains ‘no’ about?”

It seemed that Kori’s presence had been completely forgotten, as her laughter at the newcomer’s comment drew three sets of eyes and all of them looked surprised to find her there.

Kori was relieved to see that the newest arrival was Ylst, she’d always liked the Arcanist and the woman frequently acted to counterbalance Martial Blonc’s more aggressive impulses.

Knowing that if she were already there, the others wouldn’t be far behind, Har rushed his request, again skipping over Kori’s favorite part of the explanation, the why. “If I’m right, which I probably am, he’s going to ask and then probably demand something, something that is entirely his right to ask, and my word on the scale, we have to keep him from getting it.”

“Oh, quit your scheming and out with it, Har.” Ortik admonished him, annoyed at the man’s constant plotting.

“Her.” Pointing at Kori.

Confusion painted the other two Elder’s faces, and Kori’s as well since she had absolutely no idea what her mentor was on about at this point.

Ylst caught on first, though Ortik wasn’t too far behind, “You don’t really think he’s going to go that far, do you?”

Shaking his head like he was correcting an apprentice that miscalculated costs, “Of course he is. We’ve blocked him every time he’s pushed us on her, now this happens and he’s smart enough to see how to use it to finally get what he wants.”

If Kori had been confused before, now she was simply lost.

What about me had they been blocking the Martial on? And why was today any different? And I still don’t know what it is they’re supposed to say no to…

Answers would come eventually, but not yet, since several other figures casually walked into the room. Brewer Aldr and Angler Deq arriving together in an animate discussion that cut off after something about needing more draff for fish food to boost stocks.

Foreman Tuli arrived on their tails, and then proceeded to casually, and quite brazenly, brush her own alongside Har’s as she took her place alongside him.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” She wrapped an arm over his shoulders and pulled him in, making the height difference between the two evident as his shoulder fit neatly under her arm without stretching, “When they told me you were late and they were sending out a team to find you, I nearly stopped listening and strode out under the open sky to come find you. And you know how much I hate it up there.”

Ortik had put up with their little display of affection for a lot longer than typical, but his patience soon ran out and they broke away from each other, a slight flush to their scales, after an overly loud clearing of the throat. Which happened to be the third of such sounds in a series that had become increasingly boisterous each time.

As the pair had lost themselves in each others presence, most of the other Elders had also arrived and taken their place seated behind the low tables. There were only two absences and one of those would likely be filled any moment, as surprisingly the object of Har’s warning had yet to arrive. The final member that had not arrived likely would not. Matron Kles did not attend the majority of meetings, though her spot remained waiting for her presence. A spot with significantly more cushioning and comfort prepared for its occupant than any other.

As they took their places and waited, many of the Elders expressed their impatience and before long they even had Kori preparing a pot of tea for them, something the Spiritcaller briefly argued against before caving suspiciously quickly. They waited over fifteen minutes before the Martial finally arrived, carrying an armload of clay tablets and rolled vellum and a few leather-bound books while lending the crook of his elbow to aid the Elder who most embodied the term.

Matron Kles was, as far as Kori knew, the oldest kobold in the entire clan. Or at least the oldest appearing. Her scales had steadily lost even more of their luster and colouring in the years since she’d first come before her clutch of rambunctious little hatchlings to tell them a tale of the past.

Once he had relieved himself of his burden of written works on the table in front of Kles’ place, she proved that no matter her body, her voice still held strong. “Thank you, child.”

From anyone else, the Martial would have likely considered those fighting words, from Kles, who probably taught the man’s clutch much the same as she had Kori’s own, it earned her a gentle pat on her hand, still held in the crook of his arm, before he helped her settle in comfortably.

Once he had turned away from the matron, his glare told everyone else exactly the consequences of anyone repeating the term. One which at least half of the Elders likely also received from the woman. His gaze promptly fell upon Kori, and contrary to the fears that Har’s ambiguous ramblings had stoked, he gave her a cordial smile before pointing towards the teapot she still held and motioning his head towards Kles while he moved to take his spot.

Kori hurried to prepare an extra cup, she knew how all of the Elders took theirs, Kles with just a touch of honey and Blonc not at all. She placed water in front of him instead. She nearly moved back to stand behind Ortik the way she had for all those months, but stopped herself at the last moment. Some habits took more than three short months to break.

Ortik took a moment to fix his gaze on each of the arranged Elders, it wasn’t often that they sat in full attendance, especially not lately, and it made Kori even more nervous that she was about to be standing before the entirety of the clan’s leadership. She wasn’t sure how to interpret it when the chief paused briefly as he looked at her, if she had to put a word to his expression it would be exasperated.

“Well, since we’re all here, let’s begin.” He started, once he’d finished his circuit around the room with his eyes, “First, it is good to see you make it here Matron Kles,” He bowed his head slightly in her direction, “I did not expect your presence today, but am glad for it.”

“I didn’t expect it either.” Kles huffed, “But then our dear Martial,” nodding in Blonc’s direction, “went and asked for a few hundred years’ worth of records about our fights with the green skins and after my scribes dug out this pile of histories older than I am, I couldn’t exactly not attend.” Her words might have sounded annoyed, but her expression was anything but. She even laughed slightly as she added, “Not like I was gonna trust you lot with all of these unsupervised.” Her laugh turned into a cough and she was forced to take a sip of her tea, one that garnered Kori a glance and a smile, to clear her throat.

Ortik was taken aback slightly, that Blonc had thought to prepare records of such encounters was unlike him. He moved on quickly, but made sure to acknowledge the man’s actions. “Thank you, Martial. That was a good idea to have these retrieved, the records may give us hints of what to expect.”

Blonc gave a bit of an arrogant huff, “Don’t sound so surprised, I’ve probably read half of them already over the years.” He turned to the side, where Ylst was sitting next to him looking like she wasn’t sure if he was really himself, before responding to her unspoken words sounding a little bit petulant, “Yes, I read. I didn’t become a Martial just because I’m good at hitting things.”

Ortik tried to take control of the meeting back, he couldn’t really fault Blonc for his response, they’d clearly underestimated him. “Yes, well… we’ll need to go over the records, can I leave that in your hands Martial?” He received a nod in return before continuing, “Matron, could you spare one of your scribes to assist him?”

“Of course.” She intoned, then added another remark at the end, “Like I said, supervised.”

Kori was starting to wonder if the exasperation she’d seen on Ortik’s face had been directed at her at all, or if that was just his general mood these days. The eye twitch made her feel it might have been the latter.

“Now then,” Ortik began again, trying to bring some semblance of order back to the event, “I assume we’ve all been made aware of the events that took place two days ago on the road from Whatzakt,” He paused to let anyone who hadn’t been speak up, not everyone had been at their usual morning meeting when Jnka had arrived. When no one did he continued on, “However the report was second hand and hearing it in full should be our first order of business, Har?”

Har stood and cleared his throat and those who knew him could see as he shifted towards his merchant’s demeanor, the one he used when he wanted to talk a customer into spending more than they planned. Ortik barely stifled his groan. “Midmorning two days past, just past the midway point in our travels from the town of Whatzakt on our way home, we were accosted by a group of pustulously foul goblins.” He made a gesture as though he was going to spit as he said ‘goblin’, though Kori thought it was just for show.

“We thought their numbers intimidating, but manageable with a cohort of fourteen standing menacingly upon the road, waving their shoddy excuse for spears at us like we’d run from the contemptable vermin.” He laughed to punctuate his statement and ridicule the threat. “We held our ground and waited for them to break ranks, knowing they’d fall into disarray the moment they made a move,” He shifted his tone and shook his head, like he was disappointed in the goblins, “which they assuredly did, but the move came not from in front of us, but the rear.

“Thankfully, due to the foresight of Battlemaster Ceq, we were well prepared for their duplicitous act. Himself and the mightiest claws the Circle has to offer stood steadfast against another half-dozen of the green skinned pests.” He inserted a note of pride into his praise for the two. “The duo routed the blighters outmanned three to one like they were facing fresh scaled apprentices that had barely been named.”

His words were punctuated by a guffaw, though not his own. Blonc was already completely caught up in the tale he was spinning, grinning like he himself was there fighting the goblins.

“Here is where our little scuffle took a turn, nearly for the worst, the dastardly goblins weren’t satisfied by simply throwing themselves at the two sides of our caravan, but went for a third!” He let his voice go low as he approached the end of his sentence before raising it again to exclaim the twist of an additional group of assailants.

“Yet another six slunk through the brush and grass while all those who could wield spear or club were engaged, their eyes on our unprotected flank.” Even Kori was beginning to be enraptured by his oration, she’d been there and knew exactly what came next, but were she sitting she’d most definitely be on the edge of her cushion to hear what came next. “Only one of our ranks,” he put special emphasis on the next bit, “one who’d been told explicitly to shelter within the carts,” he paused to glare at Kori, though the quick wink at the end confused her, “spotted the trouble.

“Kori here, one of my newest cohort of apprentices, though you all know the rather unique circumstances that arose from, spotted them.” Again, he let a bit of pride flow as he accredited her with saving the day. “She called out, but went unheard over the din of combat, she tried to catch anyone she could’s attention, but was drown out in the chaos, so when forced to choose between fleeing and hoping there was not still more of the sore ridden things laying in wait to the remaining flank and acting, she chose to act.”

It was then that Kori realized something. Something she should have thought of in the moment but hadn’t even occurred to her.

I could have ran?! Why the scale didn’t I get the other’s who were hiding and run away?!

“Unbeknownst to me,” this time he really did glare at the youngling, “she carried a concoction that she had intended to use as a practical joke…” With a flourish he produced a few little slips of paper and handed them to the Elders to each side to read and pass along. Kori assumed that they had the appraisal from her flask, which was confirmed when one was even passed along to her with an encouraging smile from Aldr who sat at the end of the nearest row.

“Now apparently, while the scamp had tested a version of the concoction, in her naivety she had failed to take into account that the vial tested had been one of her early attempts that had only produced an inferior copy. Instead, what she threw was as you see there, uncommon.” He played up his caricature of Kori, making it seem that while she clearly had potential, she needed guidance and grounding.

“Expecting naught but a puff of acrid smoke to signal our combatants that mischief was afoot to our flank, we were instead greeted by an eye searing miasma that covered nearly a dozen meters in all directions… including the flasks very thrower….” His wince and tone of misfortune played up against his portrayal to overall downplay her effort without diminishing the effect she had had.

He cleared his throat and took a sip of his tea, then exaggeratingly gestured his head between Kori and the now empty cup. She took the hint and had thankfully set more tea to brew after the first pot was emptied. Ortik couldn’t even complain this time. Unlike the rest, she actually was Har’s apprentice after all.

After a quick smile and a nod of thanks for the refilled cup, he continued on. “Now, where was I?” He mused, “Ah yes, a miasmatic cloud of woe and misery. Unfortunately for many of the traders hiding in the carts alongside my apprentice, the wind, as it is wont to do, carried the smoke across our ranks and left them blinded and miserable for some time. Fortunately, it appears that the goblins were worse off by far, the substance having more or less incapacitated them in entirety.” His faux shock was echoed in reality across many of the faces around the room as every eye turned towards Kori. She involuntarily tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat but it wouldn’t seem to go anywhere.

“The pitiable things writhed and screamed as they rolled about, clawing at their eyes and skin; which by all accounts must have been far more sensitive to the irritant than our scales proved.” Har mimed their actions, running his claws down his face and across his arms. “The moment of distraction was felt across the field, one goblin faltered in throwing their spear so poorly, or I assume it would try to blame its inaccuracy on such if it could, that it actually resulted in the only two, well, technically three, significant injuries we incurred.” The picture he painted of ineptitude and failure clashed with the statement of a single tossed spear injuring three, especially when they’d only been informed of two being injured, and his audience’s confusion was plain to see.

Har ate it up, the others were dancing to his tune as sure as a customer buying stone for their wooden home. “How could a single spear injure three, you ask? Well, the little shite missed his mark so badly he took one of my oxen in the flank! Poor bob, that’s the ox, I know it’s a bit of a weird name, but the humans gave it to him, was so incensed at the indignity of it all that he managed to sheer the yoke clean off my cart, cracking poor Ort’s skull with the log when it broke free.” The slap of his palms together as he depicted the event had everyone jumping in their seats and elicited a groan from the matron as she brought a hand to her lower back.

The reproachful glare he received dimmed Har’s enthusiasm slightly as he finished his tale of combat. “Thankfully I always carry a potion, just in case.” He polished his claws against his tunic as he praised himself, before letting it drop and drooping his shoulders dramatically, “Unfortunately, I only carry the one…” His dismayed words had everyone forgetting his little startle only moments before. “Brave Aef tried to wrangle bob, nearly had him calmed for a moment too, then the beast moved or shifted, and the spear shook in its wound, driving poor bob mad with the pain once more. A shake of his giant head, and Aef found himself perforated for his efforts.

“While all this went on, the battle wound down, Ceq and Zln left the assault on the rear in pieces… literally… that woman is terrifying, I think she may have beaten one with it’s own leg…” He made a show of a shiver of fear running down his spine, “The distraction in the front ranks proved fatal for the goblins, and those along our flank, well… some actually complained that Zln ended them rather than letting others claim the free experience…

“This, of course, led to my apprentice saving the day for the second time. Her ointment and her newest concoctions managed to give Aef the push he needed to survive, if only by the barest of margins.” He refrained from mentioning just how bare those margins had been, since there had literally been no margin for success going by the title that came from the event.

Har ended his retelling with a flourish, for any other audience there would have been a rousing applause for such a performance, and a few hands even moved to do so before hesitating and remembering where they were and why such a performance had taken place.