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Dear Syd & Olivia #7 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-06-23 16:00:11
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

New DSAO for you beautiful citizens of Shart Nation!

Comments

keeperofarcane

i love those ai cat videos! i send them to my sister all the time.

Drake

I don’t want to be this guy, but I would advise against hand-feeding squirrels (really any wild animal but rodents especially). It doesn’t develop a bond with them, it just reduces a fear response to people which increases risk of human-wildlife conflicts like biting or going in places they shouldn’t. Not to mention rabies and hantavirus exist. What you do with this information is your call, but I’ll be remiss if I didn’t say something at least. Disney princesses are wonderful on paper but in reality it’s a wildlife biologist’s worst nightmare.

Drake
>>178172704

ALSO, to answer the question abt your feeder, try a baffle around your post or the wire it’s hanging from. And pls share what birds you get, I’d love to see em

Jesse Nolan

SHART NATION DnD!!!! Could do it over discord or something!

Cristian Ramirez

I just wanted to echo some sentiments for anyone that has similar feelings to Tasha. Obviously good therapy is one of the best ways to treat depression, but community is way up there too. Make sure to reach out wherever you can for support during hard times. I know that I’ve almost always been met with love and support. Our own issues, especially with things like disabilities, tend to feel much bigger and more burdensome to us than they do to others, and the last thing people that care about you want is for you to feel alone on top of your struggles. Even if it doesn’t fix everything, having people that understand really does help.

Squirt GoodShite

Hey Tasha if you're reading this I just want you to know that I too have been where you've been and I implore you to remember that you matter and the world is a better place with you in it. Just because the societal systems sometimes make us feel like we don't fit the mold, that is THEIR shortcoming, not yours!!! If you ever need someone to talk to you when you feel awful I hope you know you have a whole community of sharts here who love you, myself included, and you can always reach out!!!

Nathan Lacey

We can kill two birds with one squirrel if we play DnD. Feed squirrels in our imagination 🌈

natasha’rt 🧻

*TRIGGER WARNING* some things i might say (haven’t written them yet) may upset people. i’m mentally and physically ill and i’ll be talking about it. it is 3am where i live and i’m finally seeing these comments omg. this is truly overwhelming. i wish i could reply to everyone rn, but i haven’t slept properly and i’m high lmao (medicinal). it’s kind of disorienting hearing the people i watch and have this parasocial relationship with, talk to me directly. i’m sorry i made you worried and upset!!! that hurt the most to watch. it feels almost like not my comment hearing someone else read it. this will probably be another long rant, so buckle the fuck in little sharts 💜 1. yes i’m playing you on words with friends syd!! even that felt kinda bonkers, like omg this celeb knows of my existence!! sorry i’m not consistent on there, or here for that matter. i find any form of social interaction or engagement exhausting 😪 but i do care about everyone here!! i wouldn’t wanna be anything other than a shart 💩 2. damn i wish i could hug you both rn but i’m in australia in my bed 3. i 100% agree with the idea that we’re not meant to know what’s happening everywhere. like, the other day i was thinking about like in old timey days before radio, before books were really a thing, everything that everyone knew was in their little town. so simple, so naive and blissful. like you’d only know as far as the fastest town messenger could run or bird could fly. now it’s just *BAM* in your face when you wake up in the morning. the fact is, growing up in this era has been ROUGH. like i had seen people being literally shmurdered live-streamed when i was 12 years old. shit like that was not meant to be seen (and obviously shouldn’t be experienced by anyone). the only good thing the internet brings is this! community and fun and education. also i wish that humans never invented mirrors. that’s something else we weren’t meant to see so much of. our reflection. like i wouldn’t have had eating disorders at 7 years old, or all these scars on my face from picking at my skin. damn i wish i was born in like, the year 200 or something. 4. i’ve tried to take the pressure off. i’ve accepted things i can’t change. i’m okay with the fact i didn’t finish school (i could go back one day for the sixth time), i could be in a relationship one day maybe. i’m in therapy (have been since i was 9 years old). i’m seeing multiple specialists for all the conditions i have (major depressive disorder, anxiety, adhd, pcos, pots, eds, insomnia, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, ibs 🤪, migraines, scoliosis. mcas, ocd and undiagnosed ptsd, plus all the things that come with those) and i’m trying to slowly take my body back. i’m just so tired. like i’ll have moments of “oh i’m actually doing something. i’m feeling better” but i get setback again and again. like beyond everything, the pain, the sadness. fatigue is the thing that drives me insane. anyway, i’m trying to take the pressure off slowly, but unfortunately it’s too slow for the people around me. i live with both of my parents, my 23 year old brother and my 20 year old sister. living with five adults in the house and years full of resentment, frustration, trauma, love too (i’m safe) is exhausting. despite there being five adults, only my dad is working and i’m helping with disability support. my mother is also disabled (she’s basically how i got all these conditions) and she had to quit her job a few years ago. she is yet to get on any disability support or centrelink, so it’s just my dad’s income which is pretty average. he is the main reason i feel pressure that can’t be taken off. i rely on him. i have a roof over my head because of him and mum. public transport where i live is absolute dog shit (it’s pretty rural/coastal and the government sucks) and i don’t drive, both from anxiety and the laws about driving while high, so i rely on them to get to all of my appointments and social stuff. the pressure i feel about “getting my life together” is always there. they tell me as such. they say it to my siblings too, but i’ve been getting the “you can’t be that sick, like just stop being depressed and get your shit together” spiel for, damn, close to 14 years now. it’s obviously gotten different as i’ve gotten older. both of my siblings are also ✨mentally ill✨ and it’s just a lot of pressure on my dad. so he takes it out in anger (verbally) with us. even if i could find inner peace about my mental state or my physical health, i can’t ever feel okay because i’m told i’m wasting my life and i’m a fuck up. yikes. my dad is “sick of dealing with adult kids who do nothing but act like parasites”. which is valid honestly. he’s more understanding about my physical needs now, thank god. the other day he even asked me “be straight with me, are you going to be living with us for the rest of your life? i need to know so i can plan around this”. i just stood there like 🕴🏻 what am i supposed to say ?!? i try to not think of the next fifty years and take it a day or a week at a time, but i have my father asking about things like this. am i going to be 45 living with my 75 year old parents? is this my life?! i don’t want that but i also can’t see anything besides that. which is fucked. like if you wanna do that, that’s okay!!! like some people have that kind of bond. i love my family. i really do. we have good times. but living in this environment, with the same people with the same history for 20+ years is HARD. i would love to have some independence and privacy. i want to explore the world, to get stronger, to be able to do things i want to do, but i cant. i feel like i’m going off on a tangent, me brain is mush. oh yeah, pressure. anygays, i’m just permanently stressed and feeling pressure from everything ✌🏻 5. thank you for being so kind and taking time to answer me 6. comparing is so toxic and i hate that i do it. i try not to. but its hard not to when my best friend has a lot of the same disorders as me plus extra trauma and is that much ahead. i’m SOOOO incredibly happy for her tho don’t get me wrong!!. she’s my favourite person in the world. our bond actually reminds me of you two 🥹 she’s my platonic soulmate. but it does make me feel shitty that she’s got the same stuff i have but she can work and she’s got a long term partner. she’s more independent than i’ve ever been. it feels impossible to me yet here is the proof. she’s struggling don’t get me wrong, she’s a tough cookie and i genuinely don’t know anyone stronger. i know that our conditions and every condition really, is not linear. it’s not one size fits all. our symptoms aren’t always equal, but i just can’t reason with this part of my brain. it’s frustrating. thankfully the few friends i have are very open with their struggles. i seem to gravitate towards or attract people with trauma and health problems lol. so i’m very lucky to have people who understand. but i still can’t get the pressure of society and my parents on where i should be with my life. 7. the things i look forward to the most are honestly smosh uplads, watching you two, bts (i’m a huge army 💜 now all seven of my husbands are home from the military so that makes me happy). i like art even tho i’m not that great. i love looking at art too. i have these moments where i like, have this primal CRAVING for going on a museum date and then going for a picnic in a garden while listening to sufjan stevens and drinking prosecco. but realistically i cant. even by myself. my body won’t allow me to and my inability to get anywhere without a lift too. i love listening to music of all genres and creating playlists. i used to love reading as a kid. i was the classic bookworm, like i was that kid who would stay and read in the library instead of chatting. i was really into reading fanfiction for a while and it got to the point i would read the equivalent of the first four harry potter (fuck jk rowling) books in fan fiction in 3 days. but i’ve slowly lost my love for reading again. i’m just so tired. i haven’t even been listing to much new music. all i do is watch youtube, tiktok, scroll instagram, play call of duty on my ipad, go to doctors and sleep (if i can). sometimes rolling over in bed is exhausting, so hobbies aren’t really a thing for me. i never really had an idea of what i wanted to do as a job really. i did start to get my diploma in early childcare and development back in 2020, but covid happened and anxiety happened and i dropped out. i love kids, but my physical health has gotten worse and i couldn’t physically do that job anymore even if i wanted to. i can answer any questions later if people want to get to know me more 😭🥴 when i wrote that message i was having one of my bad days. to be fair, i was about to get my period for the first time in 22 months 🤡💀 so i was very hormonal and that just made my depression worse. i’m feeling okay rn. i had a therapy session yesterday. i managed to do a bit of housework. i have only slept maybe 4 hours in the last day and a half which sucks. knowing me ill probably get exhausted again and not reply for a few days OR ill be on here for hours. you’ll never know 🤫 if anyone wants to add me on instagram, it’s @natasha.helena or @sad.tasha for spam. i’ve always wanted to be someone who is open with their struggles. growing up i feel like we didn’t have a whole lot of people (at least i didn’t) that i felt could relate to me or were open about things. that’s where i took to ✨the internet✨. ever since i started watching people be more open and honest, i started feeling less alone. i want to extend that feeling to others. unfortunately this world is scary and hard and sometimes we need to vent. so i am here if you need to spam and chat. i will warn you i can go social media version of non verbal. i will ghost, but not on purpose. i have a system. if i send you this emoji 🍃 it means i’ve read your message and i’ll reply later cos i’m feeling like shrek’s shart. if i send 🍂 it means i’ve seen your notification and i’m letting you know i’m alive (oof) but i don’t have the energy to read or engage rn. also 🤎 if i’ve ever been kidnapped. if i ever end a text with a brown heart, i’m probably dead. i’ve lost track of what i was saying. damn i’ve been typing this for an hour. i hope it doesn’t take that long to read. okay i’ll reply and stuff to others in the morning. it’s 4:25am 🗿 i keep adding things to this as i rewatch the clip. fun fact! finding nemo was the first film i saw in the cinema

natasha’rt 🧻
>>178252156

thank you so much. truly!! i don’t know if the world is a better place, but it’s definitely still a place that’s for sure. i am so grateful for all the sharts

natasha’rt 🧻
>>178247757

it really does. i’m very lucky to have people in my life who understand, but even with support and love, i feel so alone

Vriska

I run DND in middle of nowhere Australia. Syd is welcome to show up covered in blood.

Vriska
>>178938772

I also run dnd online but thats harder to show up covered in blood

Crista

Syd. Are you familiar with gaylorism? I was like, THE most casual Taylor Swift listener, and then the tiktok algorithm put me onto gaylorism five years ago, and it just clicked for me, and I was like. Holy shit. I totally get Taylor Swift now. If I told you that her relationship with Travis Kelce is completely 100% performance art, and most or all of her previous public relationships have been as well, and she's actually been secretly dating world-famous supermodel Karlie Elizabeth Kloss for the past decade plus, would that pique your interest at all? Her music gets SOOOOO much deeper when you listen to it through this lens, and the lore is CRAZY.