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“Asano, the Network won’t just let you barge into their facilities and do as you please,” Geneva said.

“I hope you’re right,” Jason told her. “I intend to round up everyone who was a part of this and make sure they never do it again. The more of them that come to me, the more time I save.”

“Do you think that you can fight the whole world?”

“Yes. I’m hoping it won’t come to that, but we have contingencies if it does.”

“You have contingency plans that you think will let you defeat the whole world.”

“I don’t need a plan to conquer the world, Director Andros. The contingencies are to limit the damage when I do.”

“You’re delusional.”

“Then you should be very careful, Director, given that I’m also extremely powerful.”

“What are your intentions?”

“Step one, confirm that very naughty things are being done here. How is that door coming?”

He glanced over at Farrah, Belinda and Clive, working on the vault. The rest of Jason’s team was present, along with a few others.

“This vault is surprisingly well-designed,” Belinda said. “This door is essentially a giant magical battery. It uses the sheer quantity of mana its holding to render many standard intrusion techniques unusable.”

“How long to crack it?” Jason asked.

“Oh, we figured that out a while ago,” Belinda said. “We’re working on how to remove the door entirely without venting all that stored magic.”

“Why would you need to remove the door instead just opening it?” Jason asked.

“Well, we came all this way,” Belinda said. “It seems like a shame not to take a souvenir.”

“We’re not here to steal things, Lindy.”

“I thought you liked doing things for more than one reason.”

“Belinda,” Danielle said. “What we are doing here is a forceful intervention that is going to upset a lot of people. While not essential to our endeavour, things will go more smoothly if we can establish the moral high ground. Taking the opportunity for plunder while we are going about it will undercut those efforts.”

“Fine,” Belinda grumbled, like a child told they can’t have any sweets for dinner. She snapped her finger and the massive vault door cracked open, slowly swinging wide. Inside, the facility staff were all backed up in the rear, looking out with fearful expressions.

“Clive?” Jason asked.

Ignoring the people cowering at the back, Clive walked in, moved straight to one of the open container doors and looked inside. He pulled out a few devices to wave around, then nodded to himself.

“Yeah,” he called out. “They were definitely storing reality cores in here.”

Farrah walked over to Jason and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Maybe you leave the questioning to other people,” she suggested. “Anna will be good for this, and we’ve got all the people we need backing her up. It doesn’t need to be you, and maybe it shouldn’t be.”

“I’m fine, Farrah.”

“I don’t doubt it,” she said. “But can you honestly tell me that investigating reality core use on Earth won’t bring up old memories? And that those memories won’t affect your decision-making in ways that perhaps they shouldn’t?”

“No,” he admitted.

“This isn’t like last time. It isn’t just you, me and Dawn. There’s a lot of people looking to help you here, and not just our people. You talk about wanting the people of Earth to step up. Now that you’ve explained to them properly what’s going on, maybe give them a chance to do just that? The locals are going to do a better job of tracking down everyone involved than people from a different world. Use their expertise, with Anna as liaison and the rest of us as muscle. Isn’t that why you dedicated the time and effort to setting this up?”

“Yeah,” he said, although he sounded reluctant.

“Then isn’t it about time you gave it all a chance to work?”

He looked over at Geneva. She was still sitting on her stool, but with a pack of Jason’s gold-rank allies looming over her.

“I don’t like it when you make this much sense,” he grumbled to Farrah.

“I always make this much sense.”

“Shut up.”

She swatted him on the head.

“Get out of here.”

He created a portal arch. He felt some resistance against it opening, from the magical wards on the facility, but tapped into his astral gate to push through. He sensed Geneva’s surprise, but instead turned to Bussinger, standing off to the side of the room.

“You’re with me,” he told her, then stepped through the portal without waiting to see if she’d follow. She looked around hesitantly, then did so.

***

Bussinger stepped out of the portal onto a wide street. Trees lined one side, in front of buildings that looked renaissance-era in design, but were clearly not. Their construction material was white and shed mist, almost like dry ice. She realised after a moment that the buildings were made of clouds, narrowing down the potential places she had found herself in.

She turned on the spot, looking around. One the other side of a street was a park. Many of the people she spotted were not human, and she was getting as many stares as she was giving out.

Someone started talking to her in a language she didn’t know and she realised she was still standing in the middle of the street.

“Entschuldigung,” she said, stepping onto the footpath. The man speaking to her had been a cyclist who had stopped to avoid running into her. It wasn’t a busy street, and most of the traffic was made up of bicycles and scooters. There was a delivery van that went past, and she saw tracks for a tramline.

“Excuse me,” a voice said in English. She turned to find a little girl looking at her, struggling to escape the grip her mother hand on her hand. She was not human, but looked like a fox person, with no fewer than three tails wagging excitedly behind her.

“Marija, don’t bother the nice lady.”

“But she looks so cool! And that was Jason Asano! I saw him come out of the magic door!”

“Pardon me,” Bussinger said. “Did you happen to see which way he went?”

The girl pointed at a nearby building, her eyes locked on Bussinger’s golden gauntlets.

“Did you get those metal gloves from a monster? They’re so awesome!”

“I did,” Bussinger said. “And thank you.”

She turned to the mother.

“If you don’t mind me asking, this is Asano Clan territory, right? Which one?”

“Are you alright?” the woman asked, looking Bussinger up and down.

Her red and gold clothes had mostly cleaned and repaired themselves, but the echoes of battle remained. There were still a few tears and scorch marks, and grime smeared across her face. Her dark hair, bundled tight for combat, had come loose and now wildly framed her pale face.

“I’m fine,” Bussinger said. “Are we in France or Slovakia?”

“Slovakia,” the woman said with a good-natured laugh. “It seems like you’re having quite a day.”

“You could say that. You should warn your daughter about following strange men through portals.”

“I’m afraid that advice would fall on deaf ears. She’s determined to be an adventurer.”

“An adventurer?”

“It’s what we call monster hunters here.”

The mother finally got her daughter moving again, throwing Bussinger an apologetic look. Bussinger turned her attention to the indicated building, which a sign proclaimed to be the Quilidos Centre For Spirit-Body Research. It sounded like the kind of scam spiritual healer that the reveal of true magic should have eliminated, yet had only allowed to flourish.

She headed inside to a marble-floored, glass-ceilinged atrium. The walls were the same cloud material as the exterior, but with leafy plants growing right out of them. In the middle of the floor was a pool filled with plants and fish. With mist coming off the walls, and sunlight pouring in from above, it felt like the lobby of a tropical resort. Two men behind a long reception desk were arguing in English.

“…set up the infrastructure now, and once regular mail starts up, we’re ready to go.”

“Set up regular mail? We’re surrounded by a vampire wasteland, not inclement weather. Rhett, we need to set up our base of operations in the US. Shipping things from here means more cost, more trouble and less reliability. Even if some kind of shipping service is instituted, it’ll be for all the tedious things the Asano Clan will think are important. They certainly won’t prioritise shipping hand-made Pallimustus amphoras.”

“We have to call them Pallimustus-style, Jaime. We’re not actually getting them from Pallimustus, and they have trade laws on this planet. And always remember to call them artisanal.”

“What does artisanal mean?”

“It means we charge three times as much.”

“Three times?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m loving this language. It has so many words I enjoy.”

“I told you getting those skill books was a good idea.”

They finally noticed her entrance and turned her way. They were both silver rankers, and human. She could sense the presence of monster core use in their auras, and something she couldn’t identify as well. For some reason, it made her think of a stiff laundry brush.

“You must be the lady Asano said was coming,” Jaime said, and pointed at a door. “Through there, left, left, right, then down to the end and down the stairs on the left.”

He then turned back to his companion.

“What if we said they were ‘hand-crafted by expert Pallimustus artisans,’ instead of calling them Pallimustus-style.”

“Oh, I like that.”

Having gone back to being ignored, Bussinger headed for the indicated door.

***

Orange and Higgy were members of Nigel Thronton’s team of soldiers, together since their Network days back in Australia. Higgy was a man of Indian descent, handsome even before the effects of magic. Orange was one of those rare people who still looked rough in spite of ranking-up multiple times. He not only looked like he belonged in a bar fight but like he was angry about not being in one right now. Jason watched them manoeuvre a vampire into a cell, using a pair of poles attached to a collar around the vampire’s neck.

“Is that a suppression collar?” Jason asked.

“A variant, designed to suppress vampiric power,” Carlos explained.

They were in a dungeon with multiple cells, around a third of which held vampires.

“Carlos,” Jason said, “you don’t waste any time, do you? Most of us haven’t even unpacked.”

“I wanted to get started immediately,” Carlos said. “I don’t normally have such ready access to vampires. The revelation that Earth vampires didn’t express the behaviour of Pallimustus vampires until the magic level rose has some key implications for my work.”

“I might have stumbled across something else that has implications for your work.”

“And what’s that?”

“An essence ability. I thought I sensed something when I saw it in action, but there was a fight going on. I might have been imagining it, so I want you to check. I don’t think I’d have noticed at all, if not for the work I did with you on Melody.”

“And what is it you saw, exactly?”

“Probably best to let you look at it blind. I know you’re an objective researcher, but I’d still rather not lead the results. I’ve asked her to come here so you can examine her for yourself.”

“And what did you tell her?”

“That you experiment on people.”

“That is a gross minimisation of what I do. And unlikely to entice her to participate in said experimentation.”

“It was this or stay in a room full of my friends after she just tried to kill me.”

“Yeah, that’d do it,” Orange said, glancing over his shoulder. The vampire took the moment of distraction and knocked Orange’s pole from his hand, then lunged at him. Orange vanished and Higgy appeared in his place, holding a shield. The vampire hit the shield, which hammered the vampire with a thunderous blast of sound, sending him crashing into the wall. He slumped to the floor where Orange, who had appeared in Higgy’s original position, tossed him into the cell like a sack of potatoes before slamming the door shut.

“Bloody hell, Orange,” Higgy scolded.

“What’s that?” Orange asked loudly, cupping one ear. “I can’t hear you because of that blast. I probably won’t get my hearing back until I’ve left and you can’t yell at me anymore.”

 Higgy rolled his eyes, but froze as Bussinger hurried in from the stairwell, all battle-readiness and wild beauty. He rushed up to her and offered his hand.

“Shane Patel, lovely to meet you.”

“He’s got a small dong,” Orange called out, which had everyone in the room turn to look at him.

“What?” he asked. “I just thought she should know.”

“Orange, I hate you so much,” Higgy said, then stomped out and up the stairs. The others were left standing around awkwardly.

“Does he really…?” Jason asked, leadingly, breaking the silence.

“No,” Orange said. “It’s like a sea serpent from the corner of an old-timey map. You half expect to see it drag a ship under water. We just like to keep him humble.”

“What is going on down here?” Bussinger asked. “Are those vampires?”

Previous                                                                                                                                                Next

Comments

Ryan Pepp

Biscuits

Arakrin

Suspicious princess-catching confectioneries!

Aaron Schwartz

Wow. Absolutely nothing of relevance happened here. There was not a drop character development to be had. And yet I’m still enjoying myself because at this point, Jason‘s Astro kingdom has basically turned into the bubble that Bill cipher trapped Mabel in at the end of gravity Falls.

Valhazstromoz

You leave poor higgys sea serpent out your damn mouths

mhaj58

I want to check in on the other good characters. What’s going on with Taika, Rufus, and Nik? We have barely seen Erika, Ian, and Amy since the gathering and we still haven’t seen Cheryl

triscuit73

Pretty sure that's the opposite of what he wanted from bussinger.

Bingus McCready

The old timey map bit has me wheezing. Good stuff. TFTC!

Justin Butler

I am happy that post Redeeming Light Rhett and Jaime are just goofs.

Unwillingmainer

Jaosn really does collect weirdos, doesn't he? Must be the only people who can stand him for long periods. Or any periods

AfroMocha

Haha good hearted chapter

mainiak

Tyftc! I still laugh whenever the amphora joke/guys resurface.

Mr_Top_Hat

The Amphora duo are probably my favourite recurring bit I love to think they are ancient diamond rankers who just piss about

Bingus McCready

It’s not a reference—just a rather colorful way to say that Higgy is, ah, rather well-equipped.

Hell 5pawn

Wasn't it Rufus' father that gave those two the amphora pamphlets?

ReadingObsessed

I love each and every one of your characters. You inspire me.

Shannon

Not entirely correct. There was a small amount of character development. Jason stepping back from the interrogation of those network personnel up let his team assist is growth. It's just not much. It's part of why this is my last month. I'm pretty tired of skimming chapters looking for something worth reading - be it plot, growth, whatever - only to find that most chapters are useless. At least Shirt isn't as bad as TFD.

mainiak

Gotcha, I had to read it again. I thought it was to amphora directions were some hidden game reference (feeling stupid)

Stephanie Washburn

A very reasonable argument followed by some choice comedy. Perfect.

curtis gatley

tickled by all the recurring characters. also the fangirling not-kitsune

Chris Pollan

Holy hell... that last line was freaking awesome awesome!!!

Tristan

Im so borrowing that sea serpent joke

ThreeErmz

I love this world building! I want to see more of this whole interaction! To be honest, I would die for a spin off to see the prospective of a minor character and how their life looks in Asanos wake.

Pierce

Fun :)

james foster

I'm just sitting here alone, laughing out loud... scaring the cat.

Michael Hawkins

We're introducing a character and furtherjng the research arc. There are a lot of game pieces on the board in this story. A lot. It takes set up to move them around.

DrRoq

Yooo it's the Amphora Brothers! Glad to see they're doing well.

Laura Hemly

So who thinks Rhett and Jaime are staying on Earth until regular trade is set up between Earth and Pallimustus, and will then start shipping Earth-made amphorae to Pallimustus with a. new way of saying "we're charging three times as much more now because these are interplanetary amphorae"? 😂

JonO

Gotta love the dick jokes. I'm surprised this one didn't involve Clive or his wife. I say this because my favorites involve one or the other lol. Anyway, this one was prime shirt...tyftc

Naotsugu97

I ❤️ Rhett and Jaime! TFTC!

Leo

Are the chapters getting shorter again :( ? i am heartbroken every time I realise I need to wait again.

Chris Foote

You also see a lot of people become weirdos due to Jason's questionable influence.

Jacob Stevenson

Legendary banter at the end there.

Mike Zebill

I always thought it was Callum. They Jamie and Rhett said they got the pamphlet from a guy that was tracking an energy vampire. I figured Rufus's dad gave Callum the pamphlet when he told him about his first meeting with Jason.

Notye Penyar

I believe Gabriel Remore was also hunting vladwick, and since they mention getting the pamphlet from a guy in Vitesse, I always assumed it was him directly.

Adrian

... But we all have to be who we are. If you're not entertained, it's time to jog on, cobber. I, for one laughed until I almost cried over the sea serpent joke. Every chapter doesn't need to move the story forward in an obvious way for me to just enjoy the writing, and shifting tone.

ABTelford

No, Jason gave Rufus father a waaay too long fake blurb about selling amphora in book 2 when they first met, even gave him a pamphlet, because Rufus told Jason to go “full Jason” on him. Then Shirtaloon brought up the amphorae as a recurring joke in book 8 with these two Purity brainwashed guys. Lol!

Andrew Whewell

Weekends are the worst, so much waiting! TFTC!

Joshua Little

Thanks for the chapter.

Rowdy Robby

Was it Cal who gave Rhett and Jamie the amphora pamphlet? They were in Vitesse. Someone is going to have to answer for that. Can't wait for more R&J.

Flojoe

Oh, it seemed i missed that i thought until now they were sisters 😂 (i for real thought they were both female)

Justin

Jeez, what a description. I don’t know if I needed to know that. As always TYFTC great chapter!

Aaron

P sure they were talking about amphora before Jason was even involved with them. I think it's what they are talking about when you first meet them.

Ravert

"You half expect to see it drag a ship under water. We just like to keep him humble.” Mastery of the words

Alexander Dupree

The banter in these books makes my life livable

Fabienne Bedry

Thank you I love this chapter! Well, I love all the chapter, and this one is taking us through many plots lines with loveable characteres old and new and the great banter we come to enjoy. Yes, thank you very much for a perfect moment.

Valmorian

thank you for the chapter! i'm still happily behind. and it's always nice to know thers another on that sweet sweet stack of epic monster slaying

Rolling Dust

Lovely chapter 👏

Aaron Schwartz

Oh no, I’m definitely entertained. Long slides like this or just the price you pay for reading a novel chapter by chapter. And in case you’ve never seen gravity, Falls, let me tell you the bubble they trapped Mabel in, was supposed to enable her to live out all of her fantasies, and her whole thing was that she was silly and had an overactive imagination. If I remember correctly inside that bubble, she flew around in a gondola carried by a dolphin man whose arms acted like helicopter rotors, but also had Mouths in the hands that spat out rainbows. Also, she was the queen of the entire bubble realm, and her city guard force was made up of sentient talking waffles. It was a really weird episode.

Scott McCarthy

That was after his return and they make reference to a pamphlet they got from a gold ranker at the time. So the odds are either Callum or Rufus's dad were involved.

Scott McCarthy

“Asano, the Network won’t just let you barge into their facilities and do as you please,” Geneva said. Pretty certain they sensible parts are OK with that, due to having nothing that would cause Jason to bother, or realizing they can not stop him if he want to. The children factions, they might put up a fight m, but can they do anything?

Attackins

I will always love Rhett and Jaime, and they are NEVER ALLOWED TO DIE SHIRT.

Darkdragon

Love the Rhett and Jamie appearance.

T-Dawg 2099

I'm surprised at how happy I was to see Rhett and Jaime alive and well. I hope their Artisanal Amphora business goes well.

Kelly

I am so here for BOTH Laurel & Hardy acts. 😂😂😂

DirePants

Lol very entertaining chapter. The only time I picture the characters having an accent is when they’re with these comedic side characters. I think the dialogue just reminds me of Monty Python lol

Laura Hemly

I recall we met Rhett and Jamie before Jason or friends were aware of the cult they were in. And one of the reasons I've loved them ever since was because they were talking about their previous amphora business, and one was complaining to the other about what a bad idea it had been to join the "Church of Religious Crackpottery." 😂 Such a perfect description of that stupid cult! I got the impression that they'd lost their amphora business when they were subjected to the Fires of Brainwashing or whatever it was called. I want to say book 7, possibly 8.

althor5

“He’s got a small dong,” So funny I sit out my drink!

Brad Gammey

I love that amphorae continue to be a thing.

Tim

Alrighty, @Shirt, as LOATHE as I am to suggest you start another project to take time from HWFWM, but Im gonna need a "The Adventures of Rhett and Jaime: Off-World Entrepreneurs," and Im gonna need this asap. They are, without a doubt, my favorite background characters in a story ever. Lol

Ty Cooper

So this electric beauty is from an old network family going back to the founder. So this is my guess. She is using purity awakening stones or something from purity god/ deception. Maybe it looses the nasty bits since it lost the connection from the god.

Mitha

Return of the amphora merchants. I hope they eventually expand to the whole cosmos and bring everyone the joy of amphorae!

Kristy Riedel

I want to know if they ever made them out of Jason's soul. I'd buy one of those. HWFWM merch: soul amphora

Kristy Riedel

Thanks for leaving and taking your negativity with you, oh, wait, you left it here for us.

Russell Ventimeglia

And Amy’s daughters as well. I think a great way to show Jason’s maturity growth would be some family reconciliation.

Dean Morton

Soul amphora designed and crafted inside the system administrator. If that doesn't sell throughout the cosmos I don't know what will

Dimitri

Me as well but weren’t they - at some point - part of the order of redeeming light? Would be interested on how they ended up in team Jason (probably shared amphora enthusiasts?!)

Havics Child

I seriously want those 2 idiots to hit diamond and keep up the stupidity for eternity and terrorize the cosmos with the amphora idea they got from a pamphlet Jason made as a joke on Rufus dad.

Laura Hemly

They were in the tree city where Carlos was trying to remove the Order of Redeeming Light's.remarkably impure brainwashing from Sophie's mom in Jason's soul realm while Jason was fighting the astral beings. We saw them once in Arbour, although far too briefly. So I assume that Carlos cleaned them, too, hence their being out and about on Earth. Earth really needs amphorae again, after all! 😂

Justin Crisler

I find that a lot of people that complain about lack of plot, growth, etc are not very good readers and have issues picking up subtext or subtleties in writing. This chapter definitely moved the ball forward.

Frank Morgana

Love those two! 15 years of Gabriel listening to them talk about amphora. He'll be more of an expert than Jason...and might finally want to invest.

Michael Fannon

They are core users. So of course they will be the ones experimented on first once Jason gets the purity artifact

Maudley

As I alluded to one of the previous days last week, I'm thinking the purity artifact was an awakening stone

Kz-necromancer

the amphorae adventure continues.

Soli116

I could read a chapter 500 pages long and still think that.

Bert Bertinelli

Yeah, that sounds like a good assumption, Jason felt something when she was "purified" by her own power. And he is absolutely confident that Carlos as a priest of the Healer will spot it right away. Now, has the artifact been broken down in several pieces that will need gathering or is Bussinger the sole heir, which seems way too easy..

Nea

I'm adoring the dynamic duos in this chapter

Chad

I feel this will become a key part of the cosmos soon 🙏

Maudley

@Bert, I am a little horrified at the prospect of a sole heir of the power. The Council of Kings are coming for that power and would be able to put countless worlds in the way of recovering her if they got her. Not a great fate. Meanwhile maybe since it seems to be an essence ability, people have set up magic based on essence abilities like the portals from the Reaper Trials arc, so maybe that can be cracked.

Moonray

@shabbybook they're the amphorae merchants. I think this is the 3rd or 4th time they've cropped up and gotten a paragraph or two. A great way to keep the joke running.

Tim

They first appeared in the Storm Kingdom, kidnapping an adventurer while they were explpring the fallen Builder city. Theyve popped back up here and there since.

Jacque Rose

Fox with 3 tails is the best reminder to read the third tail book. I was slightly disapppinted by the 2nd tail ending but the author got proffessional advice for the third book and while it is slow or made me so excited for the 4th book. I can't help but think this was intentional by Shirt. Thanks

Chloe

Tyftc

Kconraw

Thx for the chapter

Bee

Finally we know Higgys real name!