Wretched Joy 18 (Patreon)

Commissioned by southmonk

Wretched Joy

Chapter 18

-VB-

What was it like?

To be normal.

I looked at the time.

December 15th, 2010.

I took a deep breath in. 

So close to canon. So far from canon.

It’s been… a few months shy of a full year since I became a cape after dying, and that question was coming back to me in piece meals. 

I remembered what it was like to be normal but it was both muted and raw in my mind. It was what I cherished but no longer … mine? No, it was mine but no longer attainable. People died. The Empire and the other bastards in the city killed them. The PRT enabled them. The whole world just wanted someone else to deal with their problem.

I looked down at the facility where Kaiser was supposedly held before his trial, and what a trial it was. Big name news agencies were almost camping outside of the federal court and all sorts of people had shown up.

To my surprise, the Teeth hadn’t. I wondered why. 

But I was here out in the open thanks to the same enchantments that let me film the villain meet: invisibility. 

Kaiser wanted to run.

Fine. I’ve let him run this far. Now, I was going to make a spectacle out of it. 

I sat waiting with a phone in my hand away from the edge of the rooftop.

Only edgelords waited at the edge when they didn’t need to.

… Wait, haven’t I done that before? 

Whatever.

My plan was simple.

When the publicly aired trial started, I’ll move in and kill him. And if they were stupid enough to put some smuck there instead of Max Anders himself, then that was on them. But I knew that the man was in that building; I triangulated it down with my Compass of Criminal’s Coordinates (name still pending) and compared the result to publicly available layout of the facility.  

I took murder very seriously just as it deserved to be treated. 

I intended to give Kaiser a … memorable end just like I had given Crusader and Alabaster. The only difference will be that his end will be televised.

I looked at my phone. 

The anchor yapped and yapped about Kaiser, his history, and all of the rumors surrounding my crusade against the Empire Eighty-Eight. It was all very routine and boring as far as news exposition went, especially because I already knew everything as did most Brockonites. 

“-nd they are now bringing out Kaiser out. Instead of his usual plate armor, he is being brought forth into the court in the orange prisoner jumpsuit,” the reporter in the court room began. She was far away enough in the back to be able to speak normally without disrupting the court proceedings. For now. 

Once Kaiser was at his stand, the bailiff stood up. “All rise for the honorable Judget McKennon.”

And that’s my cue. 

I stood up, gave myself a few stretches here and there, and waited. 

And waited. And waited. 

Then I snapped my finger as everyone sat down.

I appeared among the rows of people moving to sit and stepped out to the side and into the crowd. 

I immediately noticed where they were stationing the heroes. None of them were -.

My new necklace buzzed. 

Oh? 

My Necklace of Detection was a recent enchantment I made specifically to alert me if I had been detected in some manner. 

Since I was only invisible… was someone using thermal?

I noticed how some of the heroes turned towards me. Not fully but just enough so that many of their helmet’s visors could put me in the periphery of their vision. 

Clever, clever, clever. 

Hmm, if I acted too hastily, then they might figure something out and maybe teleport Kaiser out of there or something. At the same time, no one stood between me and him right now. All it would take would be another teleportation and a shank over his throat. 

But I wanted something more than that. I wanted to warn everybody that running away from me was not an option. I would rather have them stand their ground and fight! 

To struggle against me even as I turned all of their efforts be made in vain. 

No, no, no, no, no…

Kaiser had to die. He had to in a spectacular manner! 

He had to become a story!

… Well, Plan A was still possible so far. 

-VB-

“He’s standing among the crowd,” Dragon reported as she continued to keep an eye on him while transmitting the data she was receiving to other heroes in the room that had visors. Of the nine heroes in the room, that was only three individuals but three was better than none. 

Then he was gone. 

The room paused.

The judge’s eyes widened. 

And then Kaiser screamed as an invisible blade coated in his blood jutted out of his stomach.

And then Everyday Joe dropped his invisibility. 

People screamed. “Ah ah ah!” Joe loudly tutted when the police and heroes tried to move in. “Kaiser is still alive but I’m going to kill him for real if you come any closer~!” 

Everyone froze as the civilians hurried out of the courtroom. 

Joe turned to the judge. “So sorry about this, honorable Judge, but Kaiser and I have business to attend to.”

Judge McKennon rose up calmly even as his police to move the elderly man.

“Stop what you are doing and leave, Everyday Joe,” he demanded. 

Joe paused and looked at the judge. 

[Body language: amusement 70%.]

“Oh? You really think I will if you ask me to?” 

“I am not asking you to. You will do so because you are interrupting the sanctity of the court.”

“... Hot damn, you must have a stick up your ass if that’s what you’re saying in the middle of this.”

“And what will your reckless, lawless, and sadistic murder of that man achieve?” the judge countered. “America is a nation of laws. You do not have the right to take the law into your own hands. So let him go, alive, and leave, because I know you won’t turn yourself in.”

“... You know, I just intended to turn this into a spectacle,” Joe hummed as he held Kaiser in place. Why wasn’t Kaiser using his power? “But now, I want to have a talk with you. You still believe in America?” 

“My belief is irrelevant. I am a judge interpreting the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America. In this courtroom, that is all I am,” the judge stressed. 

Joe looked impressed before giving his blade a shove when one of the heroes took a subtle step closer. “All of you should really not move,” he warned with a hum. “Anyways. But Judge McKennon, where is justice and revenge for all of the victims? Why the criminal live to face trial while all of the victims have died in the streets and far from help?”

“That is not my jurisdiction nor concern.”

“... Damn. That’s one cold-hearted judge,” he chuckled. “Well, it’s in your court now. So you better respond or this one gets to spill his guts, literally.”

The judge glared at the vigilante. “Justice is the domain of the court and the jury and thus the people. When you take matters into your own hands, you remove the people’s ability to make judgement of their own volition.”

“... Then the people better pay for the funerals of all of the victims,” Joe nonsensically countered. “The people chose to give these white supremacists and powerhungry megalomaniacs multiple chances. The people should be held accountable for their decisions.”

“And you think that is a reasonable demand?”

“It’s more reasonable than getting killed, no?”

“You speak of anarchy. The courts exist for a singular purpose: to be the place where laws are held sacred and upheld, disputes are resolved, rights of all are protected, justice is made, and due process is ensured,” the judge spat back. “When everyone blames everyone and no one can make the decisions to protect themselves from future retaliation, then there is no law or civilization, only roaming hordes of bandits and likeminded warlords!” 

“And that’s not what America is already?” Joe hummed. “There are literal warlords like this man here, Kaiser, also known as Max Anders -”

Oh crap.

“-all over America. People with power, metaphorical, literal, and supernatural, are allowed to go free while the common men and women suffer. Why should I, who was once a common man, allow this disgrace to survive?”

“Because he will be Birdcaged and forever be out of reach.”

“Ah, so death sentence, then? Let me make that easy for you.”

And Joe sliced up and pulled his blade out from the top of Kaiser’s head so quickly that there was a trail of blood hanging in the air.

For a split moment, nothing happened. 

And then blood sprayed out. 

The heroes tried to move but Joe was gone. 

No, he was next to the judge. 

“There. Problem solved. Hell, if the United States had done that much earlier, then so many people wouldn’t have died. So why not do that?”

“I am a judge, not the man who moves the government,” the judge let out an aggrieved grunt. “Ask them.”

“... You know what? Fair,” Joe laughed. “Thanks for the talk, Judge McKennon. See you later.”

“I would rather not, young man.”

And then Joe was gone again before the heroes could react. 

The judge … fell backwards and his shocked guards snapped out of their stupor and caught him before he fell over completely. He looked pale. Trembling. Scared. 

Dragon felt only respect for the elderly judge who stood up against Everyday Joe. He should have been the one to go over Paige’s trial, not that bastard on the other side of the city. 

“Maybe Joe has a point,” the judge growled. “The fat lot of good you heroes are. Barely did anything while I had a murderous criminal freely roaming in my courtroom talking angry anarchistic philosophy with me. What use are you if you aren’t even saving people, huh?” He moved to leave the courtroom on his own trembling legs. “You should have been out there patrolling instead of here. Your failures spawned the likes of him.” Then he was gone, slamming open the door with surprising strength and leaving the room.

Dragon didn’t have the chance nor the word to refute his statements.