Who Da Boss Lady? 11 (Patreon)

Happy Thanksgiving Day! If you don’t celebrate TGD, then, uh, I guess Happy Day(?)!

-VB-

Who Da Boss Lady?

Chapter 11

-VB-

“Hmm~.”

“Hmm?”

“Hmm…”

“Hmm.”

“Hmm?”

“... Okay, what did that one mean?” 

“I asked if you were more interested in chocolate or mocha.”

“That’s the same thing, though.”

“You see. A mocha is about a refined taste. Chocolate is basic. Everyone gets chocolate. Not everyone gets mocha.”

“... Are you insulting everyone who likes chocolate for being basic?”

“Exactly. Now, I am a mocha, and only people who have taste can see the beauty that I am.”

“... As someone whose skin has been described as mocha, I find that insulting.”

“What?! How?!”

“That anyone would find you attractive when you are the definition of a hikikomori weeb,” Shihoin Yoruichi deadpanned without looking at her cousin.

“But I am a good catch!” Urahara Kisuke whined while sitting next to where she stood on the ledge of the building. 

The two of them weren’t visible to the many regular people down below and across the busy Japanese street, because the two of them were in their spiritual forms. 

Because of this, they shouldn’t stick around for long; their spiritual forms were dense and shed enough spiritual pressure even when they kept them bound as much as they could that, unlucky souls can and will pop if they get too close. And lucky ones will start attracting Hollows and Devils alike, though for two different reasons. 

But they had to be here in their spiritual form right now because they needed to properly track down the anomaly currently operating in Kuoh Town. 

“So?” she asked him.

“What?”

“Can your gadget find our little anomaly?” 

Urahara crunched away at the device fitted over his left arm. “... There’s nothing in Kuoh Town proper.”

“You sure? Our little satan herself said there was something here.”

“And my device says there’s nothing. So obviously, something’s wrong. Either there is a miscommunication or some other error.”

“... Now what, then? I can’t just tell her that there’s nothing wrong when it was her sister who was in danger.”

“Then why don’t we visit the little satan’s sister?”

“That’s a good idea.”

-VB-

Sona felt their presence even before they entered the town. 

And when they did, she knew that whoever they were, they were powerful. Powerful enough to be in the satan-class, if they were devils. 

She closed her eyes and sighed. 

It was one thing after another, wasn’t it? 

Then before she could even call her sister, she felt those same energy signatures blinking in and out, getting absurdly fast and close to her, and then -.

It felt like she was under a waterfall. 

She actually had experience with that when her sister took her on a “spiritual journey” once. They did all kinds of crazy training for her “magical girl debut.” With the sole exception of when her sister had fully unleashed her power to show off at the end of the training, Sona had never experienced this kind of pressure before. 

To call it a waterfall would be over-congratulating the waterfall. 

At least under a waterfall, she could fight back against the pressure. 

This … this pressure drowned her underneath its presence. 

Her body immediately broke out into a cold sweat. 

She knew that if these two wanted her dead, then there was nothing she could do about it. 

She was a crippled rabbit in front of a hungry lion. 

And then it was gone. 

“Ara ara.”

Sona’s body unfroze as the torrential pressure disappeared. Slowly, she looked up and saw -.

“... Shihoin-sama?” she blinked out. 

Shihoin Yoruichi. A noble. Playful. Powerful. That’s all she knew about her before today. And she knew that much because Shihoin-sama visited her sister once in a while. 

But this was the first time that she actually felt something akin to her unrestricted power. 

And the man next to her…

She didn’t know who he was. The green bucket hat, wooden clogs, the green haori, the unkempt hair, and the scruffy stubble didn’t give him the best image. Contrary to the man, Shihoin-sama wore a very skintight suit underneath her orange shirt and … Actually, the two of them dressed similarly in that they were most likely wearing what was comfortable to them.

Sona did remember how Shihoin-sama always hated being in her formal dress, which was something her sister liked to tease the mocha-skinned noble about. 

“Sona-chan~!” Shihoin-sama mewled before glomping her in a hug. “How’ve you been, hmm?” 

“I, uh, huh?” she muttered out. “What are you doing here…?”

Shihoin-sama abruptly let her go and set her back down on her chair. “Ah, about that. We’re actually here to help you with the anomaly you told your sister about. Can you tell us what it was like?”

It took her a second to process what the foreign noble said, but when she did, Sona felt prepared.

“I’ll do you one better. I have a memory spell.”

“Oohh. Aren’t memory spells hard for devils, Kisuke?” Shihoin-sama asked the man while glancing over her shoulder.

“They are,” the man hummed. “Memories are very specifically ordered stuff that is unique to each individual. Similar enough that there are universal memory spells, yes, but those tend to be destructive, not representative or creative. Devils, in particular, have a hard time using memory spells on themselves except the more destructive ones because their magic and energy is chaotic and corruptive at its fundamental level, even if their magic is also the most flexible out of any inherent racial magic.”

Sona blinked. 

Wow, that was… not something she expected. 

“Who are you, sir…?” she asked quietly. She only heard explanations like that from Ajuka-sama and his most brilliant underling-scientists.

“Urahara Kisuke, Sitori-chan,” he tipped his hat. “Former captain of the Gotei 13’s 12th Division.”

Her eyes widened. 

Japan was divided by four spiritual divisions. 

The two that the devil most interacted with were the West and East Youkai factions, centered in Kyoto and Tokyo respectively. The third faction was the devils themselves. And the last, and perhaps the oldest out of them all, was Soul Society, who occupied a whole separate spiritual dimension from the Underworld. 

And Gotei 13, or the Thirteen Court Guard Companies, was the military arm of that old faction. And perhaps an equal of the devils.

If he was a former captain of Gotei 13, then he was an Ultimate-class individual at the very least.

She shivered at the thought of two Ultimate-class beings just standing in her Student Council office. People who had no allegiance to her sister or the Four Satans.

If she didn’t know at least one of them, then this would have been one of the worst situations to be in. 

She took a deep breath in and began the spell.

It appeared initially as a red screen in front of her before her perspective of the event played out with a red tint. 

Shihoin-sama and Urahara-san looked at the memory, though some parts of it were hazy. 

The alert. 

The experience.

The hole. 

The crystal.

And then … the black doll.

Urahara’s eyes widened. 

Both she and Shihoin-sama caught the change in his gaze. 

“What is it?” Sona asked. 

“...”

“Kisuke?”

“...”

“...?”

“Well, it looks like perfect mascot material! It’s cute and small.” 

Shihoin-sama did not waste a second and smacked him in the back of the head. 

“Continue, please,” she huffed.

Then they watched how it played with her. Snatched the crystal out of her hands so quickly that even her memory didn’t catch a frame of her and left even anyone could stop it. 

“And that’s it?” Urahara-san asked, rubbing the back of his head while fixing his bucket hat.

“Yes,” she replied. 

“Hmm. Not much to go off of. You didn’t feel any energy from it? No presence?”

“None,” she shook her head. “It’s why we… I wasn’t able to see her coming until she was right next to me.”

“Curious, curious, curious,” Urahara-san hummed. “... But one I’m sure I can find.”

“How so?” Shihoin-sama asked with a hand on her hip.

“Well, everything admits energy. There is no such thing as a ‘zero emission’ being. For people like us, this means mana, ki, or reiatsu. If this doll thing moves, then it has energy. All I have to do is find a source of energy that doesn’t fit in with Kuoh Town and track it. Tracking by absence, if you will. But that will take some time,” he hummed. “... Do you mind if I set up a shop in the town while I work on finding it?”

“S-Sure?” she replied. She was one of the two owners of the town, yes, but she wasn’t sure if she could tell someone like Urahara-san “no” when he was here to help her. And because he was just that much stronger than her, and her devil instinct, which respected strength-based hierarchy, found it hard to tell him no despite the fact that it would upset her and Rias’s control of the town.

Because having an Ultimate-class being in the middle of her town was even worse than a pink elephant.

It was a lion in a small cage filled with blind and deaf goats.

“Wonderful!” he grinned. “... Oh crap.”

“Yes…?”

“Um. I don’t have money to buy or rent a building. Do you have somewhere I could set up my shop? Without having to pay rent?”

Sona realized right there and then that while Urahara-san was an Ultimate-class being, his shamelessness was the more prominent characteristic about him.

It oddly felt good to see Shihoin-sama slap him over the head.