Gif: MARVIN GOT MARRIED... AND MARY'ED! (Patreon)

MARVIN, a nerdy, would-be warlock, is waving a wand with a sparkling blue tip.

MARVIN: Now that I've finally gotten myself a real-life magic wand, I'll never have to beg girls for dates again! (He raises the wand and speaks to it commandingly.) OK, magic wand... I wanna get married!

POOF! He turns into an adorable female version of himself, with blonde, braided pigtails.

MARVIN: What the hey?! (He looks down and notices he has a little tattoo on his arm that spells out MARY. He laughs, snorting.) Oh, brother! I wanted to get married... but instead I guess I got Mary'ed! Well, let's try this again. Magic wand, I want to get married, as in holy matrimony, getting hitched, happily wedded for life. But I definitely don't wanna look like this... dress me up for my wedding, and make me a big, handsome husband!

POOF! A frilly white wedding gown explodes onto him, he gets tangled in his poofy skirt and he falls over. He gets up from the floor, sputtering indignantly.

MARVIN: Aw, criminy! I didn't want a wedding dress, you stupid wand! I wanted... (He raises his hand and sees that the wand is gone. He looks around, wondering if he dropped it, but it doesn't seem to be anywhere. He gulps.) Oh. That's... not good.

His hair whips upward and arranges itself into an elegant bridal updo. His glasses fly off off his face and a veil sprouts from his hair, fluttering down around him. The apartment walls dissolve into stained glass and pews. He finds himself in a church, standing at the altar and facing a priest before a large crowd of guests. The air shimmers beside MARVIN and a tall, good-looking groom appears. MARVIN's jaw drops.

MARVIN: (Muttering to himself) Oh, no! I said I wanted the wand to make me a big, handsome husband... but it made a big, handsome husband for me!

The PRIEST clears his throat, interrupting MARVIN's mutterings.

PRIEST: And so, with the power vested in me, I now pronounce you... man and wife. (He turns to the GROOM.) You may kiss the bride.

MARVIN gasps, horrified.

MARVIN: (Muttering again) No, this is all wrong! I can't be... can't be...

The GROOM pulls MARVIN close and kisses him lovingly. MARVIN blinks, looking dreamy, his cheeks flushed. That kiss felt a lot better than he wanted it to. The Wedding March plays and the crowd erupts in cheers. MARVIN sighs and grumpily snuggles up against his new husband.

MARVIN: Happily wedded... for life.

Fade out.