Chapter 1086 - Old Man Vibes (Patreon)

“Are they valuable?” Jake asked as he looked at the three bottles on the table. He’d already tried to use Identify on them to no avail, but considering their source, they had to be valuable. It wasn’t easy to tell, though, as he didn’t even get a response when he used the skill despite knowing they were obviously items. For all he knew, all three could be filled with water.

“I would say so,” Villy nodded. “At least I’m fairly confident around half the gods in the multiverse would gladly kill you to obtain two of them, despite the risks of doing so.”

“That does sound valuable... or I’m just severely overestimating how risky it would actually be for some random god to pop in and snuff me out,” Jake muttered.

“Eh, I would definitely kill them in return. Probably erase their entire lineages, too. You know, just for good measure. Would make me look weak if I didn’t go a bit overboard with the response,” the Viper shrugged.

“So definitely valuable,” Jake nodded. He also knew that the reason Identify didn’t work was because the Malefic Viper had blocked the skill. Again, Jake couldn’t even detect they were special with his Bloodline-empowered Perception, but he was fairly confident the bottles were far from the usual ones Jake used. They had to be enchanted with some pretty serious magic.

“Hey, I can’t look like a cheapskate,” Villy shrugged. “This will be your first time officially visiting another major faction as my Chosen. It’s a pretty big deal in the grand scheme of things, and it’s only expected that some proper gifts are brought. Plus, the more I give them, the more Nature’s Attendant and Yggdrasil are able to give you in return without it seeming improper.”

“That sounds like more political bullshit,” Jake sighed.

“Not really. It’s more about not owing one another. If I make you go there empty-handed and they help you out with something, it’ll be expected that I’ll also help their next official visitor in kind. Meanwhile, if I have you bring nice stuff and they do nice things for you, we’re square,” the Malefic Viper explained. “It’s really not that complicated.”

“Still sounds dumb. What happened to helping friends just out of the kindness of your heart?” Jake said with an exaggerated sigh.

“Everything in the multiverse is transactional to some extent,” the Viper said casually. “If you decided that you were happy with being a C-grade for the rest of your life and retired to spend your remaining days with your parents, I would definitely have you killed as having that kind of person as my Chosen would just be too damn embarrassing.”

“Now that’s a bit hurtful,” Jake very accurately pointed out.

“It’s just a silly theoretical,” the snake god said, shaking his head. “I don’t think it would be physically or psychologically possible for you to settle down for good. It goes against your base nature. But I am fully serious. I would likewise expect you to abandon me if I proved myself too weak and unworthy of being your Patron. Believe it or not, it happens a lot more than you think. Powerful mortals with low-tier gods as their Patrons grow into themselves and begin to stand out in the multiverse, only for a top-tier god to swoop in and offer the mortal a position as their Chosen instead. Something the mortals very rarely reject.”

“That somehow sounds incredibly messy,” Jake frowned. “I would expect some rapport to be established between the mortal and god to not make them abandon their Patron so easily.”

“Oh, don’t misunderstand. To a low-tier god, having someone like a Primordial steal their Chosen is an incredible honor. What’s more, this thievery often happens within the same Pantheons, so there really isn’t any kind of betrayal going on anywhere. Instead, it’s more thought of as the mortal getting promoted to a higher-ranked department,” Villy explained.

“That’s also why it was such a big deal when you acted as if you were going to abandon me in favor of Valdemar. The only way for that to happen was if both you and Valdemar viewed it as a large step up going from my Chosen to his. Usually, one only does large jumps when “upgrading” Patrons. No one would ever go from Nature’s Attendant to Yggdrasil under any kind of usual circumstances. So you denouncing my Blessing was the same as communicating to everyone I was even more washed up than otherwise assumed.”

“Man, good to know all that after the fact,” Jake joked. “I’ll try not to get tempted by other gods.”

“You better,” Villy said with a mischievous smile. “I did hear a certain wood elf offered you the position as her Chosen not too long ago, so maybe I should be a little worried. She can offer perks I’m not confident in competing with.”

“Ha, ha, very funny,” Jake answered with a deadpan expression as he switched the topic. “Can I just take those bottles as is? No need to put them in something to better protect them or anything?”

“Jake, if you were capable of even putting a scratch on any of these bottles, I would advise you to go hunt down a few S-grades instead, as I’d have clearly underestimated your offensive prowess,” the snake god said teasingly. “Also, they are all enchanted to only be useable by their recipients. On that note, one of them is for Nature’s Attendant, and one is for Yggdrasil.”

“How about that last one?” Jake asked, also noting that the Viper had said earlier that only two of them were extremely valuable. He assumed those two were the ones for the two pinnacle gods.

“Come on, you really need me to outright tell you?” Villy was fully back to teasing him. “Little hint... it’s more from you than me; it’s not for Dina but the other female member of the Pantheon of Life you spent a lot of time with during your Nevermore visit, and I believe she wields a bow, while-”

“I got it from the first part,” Jake interrupted the Viper.

“Hey, don’t blame me; you’re notoriously dense,” Villy grinned, having way more fun than he should have.

Jake shook his head as he swiped the three bottles and put them away. Once they were in his possession, Jake could also somehow tell who each of them was meant to be given to. He wanted to question what kind of magic the Viper had placed on them to create such an effect, but honestly, he knew the answer wouldn’t do him any good, as it was definitely magic way beyond his abilities.

Anyhow, today was the day Jake, the Sword Saint, and Sylphie would all head to the Pantheon of Life. Irin had already left Jake’s residence to have a meeting with her S-grade master – a fellow succubus named the Velvet Mistress – while Sylphie was still at her final lesson before it was time to go.

On that note, there technically wasn't any going on that day, but the teacher in question had noticed Sylphie in one of the lessons and offered to provide some one-on-one guidance. Hearing this, Jake naturally looked into who this teacher was and saw she was an A-grade avian monster woman who wasn’t part of any major factions besides being a guest at the Order of the Malefic Viper. From what Jake gathered, it wasn’t hard to figure out she wanted to try and form a positive relationship with Sylphie, knowing she was close to Jake and blessed by Stormild. And honestly? Good for Sylphie. Jake was all for her using her status to get some benefits. It would be very hypocritical for Jake to think otherwise.

“Is the old man still at the vampire place?” Jake asked the snake god. He knew Sylphie would be back in his residence pretty soon, but he hadn’t been in contact with the Sword Saint since they split up after arriving at the Order.

“He is,” Villy nodded before adding: “You know, I did consider asking you why you call him an old man, considering he’s still pretty damn young, but I somehow can’t disagree with your statement that he seems like an old man.”

“Right?” Jake said with a smile. “Being an old man is totally a mindset. The vibe someone gives off.”

“Or, in some instances, they are just really old for their grade and close to death,” the Viper pointed out.

“At which point they have the vibe of an old person,” Jake perfectly countered.

“You know what, I’m just gonna agree with you on that one,” Villy smiled as he leaned forward. “Either way, you should go fetch him.”

“Right,” Jake nodded before frowning. “Damn, Irin left way too early; I reckon she could have quickly figured out exactly whe-“

“No need,” the Viper interrupted Jake. “I got ya.”

“What do y-“

--

Jake’s vision flashed as suddenly he found himself somewhere else. Instantly upon appearing, he oriented himself, and quite honestly, he wasn’t sure what to think about what he saw and felt.

The first thing he noticed was the aura of a powerful god. He estimated it to be at or around Godqueen level, which meant it was a pretty powerful one. The next thing he noticed was the aura of the Sword Saint, who was also there. Now, who was present wasn’t what threw Jake off.

It was what they were doing.

Jake found himself staring as he saw a woman lying posed on a couch wearing what he could only describe as lingerie. Looking at her was the Sword Saint, who was standing with an easel between the two of them, holding a brush with a mostly finished and quite realistic painting in front of him.

Needless to say, Jake took a moment to really understand what he was seeing, and he just knew that the Viper was cackling maniacally back in his residence. The only thing that made Jake feel slightly better was that he wasn’t the only startled one.

The woman on the couch was about to move upon noticing him as the Sword Saint raised a hand. “Remain still.”

To Jake’s surprise, she listened and didn’t move her body. She did speak, tho.

“I greet the Chosen of the Malefic One... and I apologize that I’m currently in an indisposed state,” she said, the only thing moving her mouth.

“Eh, no worries,” Jake scratched the back of his head as he tried not to be impolite by staring too much. He did faintly feel as if he recognized the woman, though, and when he scoured his memories, he suddenly remembered.

Back in the Treasure Hunt, he’d swiped a few paintings of a more... risque nature. He recognized her from some of those paintings, which also made him realize she had to be a really old vampire god. Not that she looked old, at least not compared to the Sword Saint. She didn’t have that old-person vibe at all.

“Seeing as I did not notice who teleported you in here, I assume it was the Malefic One?” the vampire asked him.

“It was indeed,” Jake nodded.

“I see. I take it you are here to have Miyamoto follow you to the Pantheon of Life? If that is so, I do not wish to delay your journey, so we can stop here and perhaps take it up another time,” she spoke.

“No need; we can leave when I’m done,” the Sword Saint said, with Jake quickly backing him up.

“Yeah, we’re waiting for Sylphie anyway; she’s still participating in a lesson,” Jake explained. Also, he noticed how the vampire goddess used the Sword Saint’s name, which really didn’t say much, considering she was already having him paint her in a rather exposed position.

“Very well, then,” the vampire goddess said, sounding a bit relieved.

“I’ll, eh, just meditate until you’re done,” Jake said as he quickly sat down right where he was and closed his eyes. He’d originally considered offering to leave, but the room he was in didn’t have any doors, and a quick pulse told him they were at least a few hundred kilometers beneath the ground, within a mountain, or some shit like that. At least there was just solid rock all around him as far as he could see.

Entering meditation, Jake didn’t even bother trying to read the First Sage’s tome. First of all, he wasn’t really in the mindset, and while that could be fixed pretty quickly through Jake’s ability to hyperfocus on stuff, the second reason he didn’t bother was exactly due to this hyperfocus. Based on the progress of the Sword Saint’s painting, he should be done pretty soon, and it would suck for Jake to get engrossed only for him to be kicked awake.

So, instead of reading, Jake just did some other stuff, which could be boiled down to just playing around with his increased control of his own Soulspace. Not getting overly engrossed in anything turned out to be a good idea, as not even an hour later, Jake saw the Sword Saint put down the brush through his sphere.

Jake considered opening his eyes right then and there but feared that would make it look as though he’d only been acting as if he was meditating. Luckily, the Sword Saint knew about Jake’s ability to use his Bloodline to remain aware of his surroundings while meditating, making the old man quickly summon a drop of water he shot at Jake’s forehead.

Taking advantage of that move, Jake moved his hand up to block the drop with a finger right before he opened his eyes. Being woken up by an incoming “attack” was way less suspicious than just waking up by himself.

“You’re done?” Jake asked. By the time he’d opened his eyes, the vampire goddess was already sitting upright, now fully covered in a dress that didn’t show any skin besides her face and hands.

“I’m done,” the Sword Saint nodded. The vampire got up and went around the easel to see the finished painting. When she saw it, she smiled and nodded.

“I do understand why you refuse to part with your profession, and perhaps I underestimated your talents in the craft,” she said.

“The sharpest sword requires not just raw power but delicacy and grace,” the Sword Saint said in a dignified tone. “Not that I dare take much credit for this creation. Even a layman could depict beauty on the canvas when all he needs to do is capture but an iota of the subject’s.”

“Such a charmer,” the vampire goddess smiled. She waved her hand as the painting disappeared, and a gateway appeared on one of the walls. “You can use that to return to your residence, Chosen of the Malefic One. I would love to greet you more appropriately, but seeing as I’ve already delayed you two enough, let us have our official first meeting another time.”

Jake just nodded as the vampire turned to the Sword Saint. “Oh, and Miyamoto... do come visit again.”

The two of them had already begun moving toward the gateway as the Sword Saint turned and smiled at her. “I would be glad to, Lady Katherine.”

With those words, Jake and the old man went through the gateway and returned to Jake’s residence, and at that moment, Jake had to admit that the old man really didn’t give off any old man vibes during that little encounter.

--

Back at the residence, after confirming the Viper had also left, Jake couldn’t help but turn to the Sword Saint.

“Did you...?”

The old man merely shook his head. “No matter the answer, it’s none of your business.”

“I guess it’s not...” Jake muttered, once more genuinely taken aback by the Sword Saint’s power in that particular area. Considering he was soon meeting Artemis again...

“Got any... eh... tips?” Jake asked, a bit embarrassed.

“None that I believe would work for you,” the old man shook his head, shooting down that topic.

Jake just nodded and sighed. Luckily, not enough time passed for things to turn awkward before their final travel mate arrived. Sylphie popped in through the gateway only about a minute later, excited to see the two of them already there and waiting.

With all of them gathered Jake led them toward the gateway, taking them to where the rest of the group who would head to the Pantheon of Life were waiting. Three C-grades couldn’t exactly travel the multiverse alone but would be escorted there by far more powerful individuals. Likely gods.

Who knows, perhaps there would even be a familiar face among them.