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Changes to BSE Chapters 37-45 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-01-26 14:59:00
Imported:
2026-06

Content

I have finally gotten time to go back through and rework some of these chapters based on feedback.

For those who don't want to go back and read them, see below for the major changes. The end result is the same, but how they get to that point changed quite a bit.

In the conversations between Kane and Char, there is quite a bit less railroading going on by her or her leading Alex by the nose. Although there is still some. Katalynn is meant to feel like a forceful presence.

Alexander also brings up more points and other options as well as being more defensive when she tries to call him out on stuff.

Alex is now given better reasons to join the Asgardians. Along with that change is what they are. I changed them from a vassal state to a union of nations. So more similar to how the EU operates than kingdoms in the past. With this change came the option to leave this Asgardian union if it wasn't working to their benefit.

Comments

Einhander

It was an cool arc, but needed a little tweaking. It's awesome you went back through everything.

Shmooggie

Neat, I haven’t reread any of the changes so far so the rereading potential is quite high.

Des

Very nice! :)

Jaksterzoo

Glad the changes happen, I’d re-read it but I disliked VERY much… Hopefully the RR readers will give you good feedback :)

Nobody is perfect

i really like this story – it's one of the better sci-fi stories – but I really hate this Asgard arc. I would prefer if it was more about mutual benefit, with the addition: "If you betray or go against the agreement, I will destroy you." More Detail: She say yes to this they become partner/allies she gives him/accpet this claim of some star sytems (the one between STO and some useless other ones in the direction to Asgard). He must sell and gives her some tech and help her against the other pirates. The security guarantee is if he don t help in the war / don t sell her stuff she goes with the viedeo material/agreement to the STO and fucked him up = he will be labeld as pirate. Can t sell stuff, don t get colonist and so on. And she will lose angainst the other pirates and the pirate king will devaste some world'ss of her. End the becomes a independent recognized state/nation from asgard and help against the pirate king. She get's tech and help in the other pirtate war. Chat GTP-Help Setup: The protagonist finds themselves in a high-stakes negotiation with an Asgardian leader, who is known for her ruthless efficiency and keen sense of diplomacy. The Asgardians are powerful, resourceful, and firmly rooted in their star systems, while the protagonist is an precariously positioned figure navigating a pirate-infested sector of space. The Deal: The protagonist and the Asgardian leader reach an agreement that benefits both parties while keeping them accountable to each other. Mutual Partnership Terms: Territorial Recognition: The protagonist is granted control and legitimacy over certain star systems to the STO territories and lesser-used fringe systems. These systems are mostly uselessa and only usefull for trade routes or resource exploitation. Tech Exchange & Assistance: The protagonist agrees to sell advanced technology to Asgard, some of which could give them an edge in future conflicts, and pledges military assistance in dealing with rival pirate factions that threaten Asgard's borders. Security Guarantees: A clause in their agreement ensures accountability: If the protagonist fails to uphold their end of the bargain (such as refusing to provide aid or attempting to double-cross), the Asgardian leader has video evidence of the deal and enough leverage to present this to the STO. This would lead to the protagonist being labeled a pirate, cutting off all legitimate trade opportunities, colonists, and support, effectively isolating them and ensuring their demise. Asgard’s Endgame: In exchange, the Asgardians pledge recognition of the protagonist’s territory as an independent state, marking the beginning of its recognition on the intergalactic stage. They also agree to aid the protagonist in taking down the Pirate King, a mutual enemy. Conflict and Tension: The protagonist must carefully navigate the demands of this alliance while dealing with pressure from rival factions, discontent among their own crew, and the looming threat of the Pirate King. The Asgardian leader remains a shrewd ally, keeping the protagonist on their toes, as it’s clear she wouldn’t hesitate to act if they break the agreement. Climactic Resolution: The protagonist successfully honors the deal, leveraging Asgardian technology and support to eliminate the Pirate King and consolidate their power. Asgard recognizes their independence, setting the stage for the protagonist's newfound role as a significant player in the galactic political landscape. However, the alliance remains tense and precarious, ensuring future conflicts and opportunities for intrigue.

Ant1h3ld

The changes make the whole arc/deal much better and definitely more palatable and logical. Thanks for listening to the criticisms.

Ant1h3ld
>>162540685

Dude, criticism is fine, but suggesting AI Slop? The heck?

Djinko

I really had a hard time swallowing the fact that Kane work his ass off to make a functionable nation going as far as to be recognised by sto to just giving all to asgardians. And just the fact that asgardians would be litteraly pulverised to smithereen by the pirate fleet if they don’t have help from Kane.

M.J. Markgraf
>>162545432

Would they though? All you get to see is Katalynn Char's fleet and a bit of Jarl Isbjorn's. There are 12 other Asgardian Jarl's all with fleets of their own.

Merlin's Fan
>>162540685

Okay, sir. Opinions are one thing, but you are not the writer. This person knows how to write a good story, Norman was fantastic. If you're interested in writing make your own story.

Merlin's Fan
>>162545432

Devil's advocate: how many of them are like Isbjorn's and might side with the (soon to be dead) pirate king?

da Finnci

Is the new version up on Patreon or Royalroad?

Djinko
>>162545432

As a great fan of stellaris (paradox interactive) and terra invicta tech beat all. As what we had been shown of asgardians they seems not up to the challenge of the pirate king (we don’t forget they don’t know of his better ships with special tech he received not long before nuking his home planet)

Duke of Coffee

Hmmmmm *shrugs* as long the story flows properly. It's understandable that people don't like Kane joining the Asgard Viking people, since it was a out of the blue decision but if you look at the fine details, it was kinda hinted either the Asgards are either going to be allies or enemies since they didn't send any more to harass Kane planet.

M.J. Markgraf
>>162557929

It's on Patreon atm, available to all Patreon tiers. The chapters will start to go up on RR this week.