Rewriting and Editing (Patreon)

In my last post, I showed an expanded, and re-envisioned chapter one. One that explored events and elements in terms of the main character's reactions, rather than leaving it to the reader to react on the character's behalf.

That's a type of revision that is not very different from the act of writing itself. It is creating, thinking, expanding. Figuring out what the perspective encompasses.

But there's another type of revision too. One that I very much enjoy. The act of editing. I do not mean simply fixing typos, or grammar. Editing for tone is important. Editing for meaning. Take the first sentences of the first chapter:

A weight lifted.

My father died, and a weight lifted just the way he said it would.

This has a nice echo to it, and echoes the opening lines of the first novel, Malagash. But aside from the echo, that first sentence doesn't make much sense on its own. A weight lifted. What does it mean? There's an argument here to be made, that it piques the reader's curiosity.  Keeps them reading. And, certainly, it is short enough that it isn't going to stop them from reading the next sentence.

But what about that next sentence? What if we simply started with:

My father died, and a weight lifted just the way he said it would.

My father died. Simple, to the point. And then: a weight lifted, - there's the mystery. What does that mean? My father died and a weight lifted, just the way he said it would. Statement, mystery, and then a calm reassurance. This opening sentence feels perfect for the book, to me. And it was hiding behind my tendency to echo, to start blunt. A longer, more structured sentence is not my inclination, but I have been learning, as I write this book, that it is more important to bring the reader with you than it is to be as succinct as possible.

I used to be very proud of my ability to say a lot in a very small space. And if the reader couldn't keep up, then they weren't reading carefully enough. But not all readers read the same way. And I am finding a new way to write. The most important thing is not to write the most clever sentences. The most important thing to me right now is to write a book that only I could write.

Using a single sentence as an example of this is silly, I know. I will write more soon.
I hope you are doing well. And I want to thank you for supporting me. This book is going to be something very special for me. Something that started with Malagash, and will grow and blossom with this new work.

Joey