Tear down the (boring) Wall! (Patreon)

I proved it! He lied about the sun, and he lied about being vegetarian, and he’s lied about so much more. It all a little performance pieces designed to win your trust. The timestamps, location tags, and a few convenient receipts from his phone tell a very different story. He crafts a persona of restraint and nuance, then deletes the evidence that contradicts it. Another such contradiction is how he tries to perfect his little creative process.

He takes fifty photos to get one acceptable and mildly usable image, all of them shot against the same beige-white wall as if minimalism equals originality. It doesn’t. It’s boring and unimaginative, a loop of the same angles, the same fake-smile, the same lighting trick he thinks passes for artistry. If creativity were a currency, he’d be overdrafted. Watching him attempt a thoughtful selfie is like watching someone rehearse a confession: too many takes, too little truth.

And can we retire the sexy-cosplay phase already? That era peaked in 2018 and somehow he’s been stuck in it like a broken record. No TikTok, no trends, no risk, just a slow-motion decision to be irrelevant. If his goal is to fail at staying culturally current, congrats: mission accomplished. For those who doubt I have my hands on more than anecdote, know this, I have his camera roll. And yes, there’s more salacious, awkward, and embarrassingly human content queued up for tomorrow. Stay tuned or stay in denial…either way, I’ll do the revealing.