1 HxH Pilot (Commission) (Patreon)

Nobody likes being woken up, I feel like that's a pretty universal truth.

I mean, not only is sleep nice and comfortable, but it's also the only time you can have dreams filled with busty women giving you all sorts of attention.

So I feel like it's a fair reaction on my part to punch the asshole that woke me up right in the face.

I can't even feel satisfied with the crunch of cartilage under my knuckles because I'm too busy futilely attempting to hold onto the sweet dreams I've just been rudely taken from.

Letting out an aggrieved sigh, I reluctantly accept that I can't remember my dream anymore. But even if I can't remember it, I can still be pissed that I'm awake.

With that in mind, I turn to face the whining bitch that dared wake me up. 

Just from looking at him I can tell he's a nobody, with plain brown hair, loose khakis rolled up his shin and a simply tan shirt. He's also wearing a bandana like a hat, which seems to be standard for people who work on boats for some reason.

The point however, is that I doubt anyone will even raise a fuss if he were to disappear.

With a wide grin on my face, I swing my long legs over my hammock and hop to my feet, letting my hips sway with the waves as I approach the pathetic man. 

Seriously, it's just a broken nose, he doesn't have to be such a pussy about it.

Well, not that I'm complaining. The sight of fear and pain in the eyes of doggies has always made me feel a certain... something. A warmth, a heat inside that just makes me want to break them, to see that fear, that hollow hope be crushed into despair~.

Oh how I live for that moment. There is no sight more beautiful than when a mutt's mind fractures~.

However, right as I come to a stop standing above the whimpering Mutt, feeling my rising excitement wiping away whatever remnants of my sleep that remained, the Mutt distracts me.

"W-W-W-Wait! T-T-The C-Captain wants to see you! I-I'm s'posed to take ya to 'im!"

Now normally the words of a Mutt wouldn't be enough to direct my course of action, but there's just something about the way he said that, like he believes his words are more important than they should be, that catches my attention.

"And I should care why?" I ask, giving him a chance more than most get.

"I-If ya k-kill m-me then ya'll be dropped out of the Exam!"

"Your stuttering annoys me," I state as I ponder over his words, "stop it."

The Mutt's jaw snaps shut with an audible click, but I ignore it as I spin his words over in my head.

If I kill him, I'll fail the Exam. With emphasis on Exam.

So really, I only have one question about that.

...When the fuck did I enter an exam?

I have no idea, but it's probably more interesting so I might as well just play along for now. I mean, what else am I really going to do? This boat doesn't have in-flight entertainment. Or rather, in-boat entertainment. In-voyage? What is it called for boats? Is there even a name for it or do boats just not get entertainment like the blimps do?

Well whatever, I'll just see what this Captain has to say and decide what to do later.

"Alright. Lead the way, it's not like I was going to kill you anyway." I make sure to give my most innocent smile as I say this, and for some reason Mutt shivers.

"Could have fooled me," he mutters under his breath, "with all that killing intent you were leaking."

"Did you say something, Mutt?"

"N-," he pauses right before he can stutter, "No Ma'am!"

"Good boy~," I coo, patting Mutt on the head with a smile before gesturing for him to lead the way, which he does with great gusto.

Such an obedient little Mutt he is. It's a shame that his obedience is his only redeeming quality.

Letting out a sigh, I walk after him on auto-pilot as I think about how much boats suck and how I'm going to do my best to avoid them from now on.

I get why my mum always used the blimps now.

It doesn't take long before Mutt is opening a door and gesturing me inside. Notably, he does not follow as I enter, choosing instead to run away once the door closes, if the faint sounds of rapidly fading footsteps is anything to go by.

I don't bother to hide my amusement as I look about the brig? Is that what the place with the steering wheel is called? Fuck if I know boat anatomy. I've only dissected people before, not boats.

Inside the room already stand seven people. Three of them are crew that I immediately dismiss out of mind. One is obviously the Captain, a short fat old dude with a nice beard smoking a pipe.

Standing opposite the Captain is three people in a line. In the middle is an actual kid with spiky green hair, green shoes, green shorts and a green shirt. Basically the kid likes green. 

Farthest from me is a short teenager with blond hair wearing a blue and red tabard over a full body white training suit, and lastly is some pervy looking dude in a dark blue three-piece suit, with black hair and small, circular shades.

Ah crap, I'm the only woman in the room. That's so unfair. I don't get any eye candy, but all these dudes get to look at the sexy, six foot of toned, ebony skinned goddess that is me. At least I'm mostly covered up, wearing black cargo pants and a tight black turtleneck. That kind of evens it out... Not really.

"So finally you're all here," the captain states, looking right at me, "why weren't you sleeping with the rest?"

"I molest people in my sleep and I didn't want to endanger anyone's chastity," I answer, and they must have understood the gravity of my totally not made up plight because no one asks anymore questions.

Well, I think the pervy guy might have said something but honestly I black out sometimes when people I don't want to listen to talk.

The old captain gestures for me to join the line-up, which I do without complaining.

"First, tell me your names."

"I'm Gon!" The kid is the first to answer, sticking his hand up and everything. Seriously, why is a kid here? What kind of exam is this?

"I'm Kurapika," Blondie follows, sounding very stoic.

I think the perv introduced himself next, because suddenly everyone is staring at me instead of him.

"Name's Cherie." It isn't, but I see no reason to tell them that.

"Why do you want to become Hunters," the old dude follows up and my mind freezes.

Hunters. As in a Hunter Hunter? Holy crap did I accidentally wander into a Hunter Exam?

Heh, that's actually pretty funny.

The perv says something but I ignore that too, however, I can't do the same with the kid's words.

"My dad is a Hunter! I left Whale Island because I want to know why my dad wanted to be a Hunter so bad that he would pick it over raising me!" 

I, like everyone else in the room, am momentarily baffled by how the kid, how Gon, can say something so depressing so joyously. He does understand that he's got a deadbeat dad right?

"Oi kid!" The perv interrupts, and I accidentally don't ignore him this time. "You're not supposed to answer his question!"

Just because I want to be contrary I decide now is a good time to give my own answer.

"Hunters can travel anywhere in the world for free and I want to travel the world," I lie without shame. Well it's only partly a lie, as I'm certainly doing a lot of travelling, but I don't really care about playing tourist.

"Oi! you too?! Didn't you hear what I just said!?" Mr Perv yells at me, and I meet his glare with a level stare of my own even as I start contemplating what would be the most satisfying way to kill him.

For one, I would start by pulling out that offensive tongue of his. The only noises he should make should be wails of agony and sobs of terror.

"Why can't we tell him why we're here?" Gon innocently asks, and Mr Perv turns back to the kid, unaware of how close he is to death.

"Not a team player, huh?" Mr Perv moans, before poking Gon on his forehead. "I don't wish to reveal why I'm here."

"I agree with Leorio," Kurapika states, finally breaking his silence. 

It takes me a second to figure out who the hell he is talking about, but I'm pretty sure Leorio is the pervy dude.

Perv says something else but I ignore it in favour of the brooding teen's words.

"It's quite simple to avoid pesky questions by offering a plausible lie." I'm feeling targeted, "However, it is quite shameful to rely upon deceit. That said, if I were to tell you the truth, I would be exposing my deepest secrets. That is why, I cannot provide an answer."

Huh? Oh, I must have dozed off for a second. Seriously what the hell kind of answer is that? Just say you don't wanna say. What, is he trying to build up wordcount or something?

"In other words, you refuse to answer my question," the old man helpfully interprets for those of us that speak like normal human beings. "Hey, Katsuo!"

"Aye Captain!" The one presumably named Katsuo answers.

"Tell the examination board we have two more dropouts." The old dude says, to the audible surprise of Kurapika and Perv.

He then went on to explain something or other about the exam or something. Honestly, the conversation was getting really expositioney so I kind of dozed off a bit.

All of a sudden I'm snapped back to reality when Perv and Kraphat storm past me and out the door, each looking ready to murder the other.

"Huh?" I intelligently blurt out before my mind catches up and a grin finds its way onto my face. "So there is in-sail entertainment after all!~" I sing to myself as I skip after the pair with a pep to my step.

Eventually, I find them both in a standoff on the middle of the deck, completely ignoring that rather volatile looking storm raging around them as they glare at each other. 

...Is that a waterspout in the distance? Isn't that like, really bad for boats?

Eh, it'll probably be fine. The Captain seemed like he knew what he was doing. Probably.

Whatever, there is something more important things than imminent danger right now. Entertainment!

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Kick that pervy old man's ass, Blond Midget! Woooo!" I cheer, not that they seem to hear me.

However, before they can get to fighting, a scream tears through the air, and then I am greeted to the incredibly amusing sight of a man being flung around by the wind, barely holding onto a piece of rope for dear life.

Apparently his grip isn't very good though, as he lets go, his body going flying between the fighters and overboard into the stormy waters.

Welp. He's dead.

Or so I thought.

Instead of the sailor disappearing into the sea, Krapman and Perv abandon their fight to catch him, only they miss, and normally that would mean that the dude is still dead, but then this psycho kid Gon just jumps after him, leaping off the boat entirely.

The only reason Gon didn't just join the man in death is because the other two caught him while he was catching Mr Sailor.

Honestly, I didn't get to see a fight, but this was some circus act shit so I'm not really disappointed. 

That Gon kid really has no sense of self preservation...

Well whatever, that whole thing is over and they don't seem like they're going to get back to fighting, so I'm gonna take nap.

///

If I ever needed any more proof that I got on the wrong boat, it would be when we arrived at Zaban City, because my boat was supposed to take me to Atnalta, which is quite the distance away.

But whatever, I've been chasing leads to find my mum for years no with not even an ounce of luck, the broker I was going to meet there probably wouldn't have changed that. I don't really know much about Hunters, but I have heard they get better access to information.

Honestly, I've always just assumed that meant they didn't have to pay as much as I have been, but since I'm already here, I might as well do the Hunter Exam and see if it really helps. It's not like it'll be too hard, I mean the only reason I'm not already a Hunter is because I've been to focused on finding my mum that I never wanted to go out of my way to participate.

But I am already here, so it's not like it'll take all that much time, right?

With that in mind, I was one of the first off the boat, and my destination was pretty simple.

In my hunt for Mum, I've travelled around most of the world, and that includes Zaban. Which means I don't even have to spend any time figuring out where I can find an information broker.

It barely takes an hour of walking before I find the familiar bar; Blue Blood n' Beer. There is a man standing out the front door who waves at me as I approach and is totally just a civilian and not a guard.

"Back again Angela?"

"No, I'm in Atnalta. No shit I'm back, you have eyes don't you, Johnson?"

"Was just makin' conversation, you don't gotta be a dick."

I blow a raspberry at him in response.

Still, as punishment for having such a shit bar name, I also make sure to punch Johnson in the dick as I pass through the door, ducking under his retaliatory swing at my head and laughing as he curses me.

"Fuck you Angela!"

"Not on your best day~," I answer as the door swings closed behind me, leaving me in a mostly empty bar.

The patrons can all be ignored as I approach Micky Siberia, the man behind the bar and the owner of this joint.

"Great, you're back," he greets, looking like he swallowed a lemon.

"No need to sound so disappointed~."

"Last time you were here you slept with my daughter," is his dry response, a glare in his eyes.

"Ehe."

Oops? It's not entirely my fault, his daughter's really hot and was totally putting the moves on me!

Micky glares harder even as I sheepishly smile at him, but eventually he just sighs and moves on. "What do you want Angela. If you're still looking for You-Know-Who, then you're outta luck here, nothing's changed on that front."

"Nah, well yeah but that's not what I wanna know," he raises an eyebrow in question and I give him a grin, "I'm doing the Hunter Exam right now, I need to know where the first proper Exam site is."

As I say that, I pull out my phone, press a few buttons and then put it away, turning my grin back to Micky as his own phone buzzes.

In a casual move, he pulls it out and no doubt glances at a message informing him of the million Jenny that I just transferred to him.

"Sure, let me get some paper, I'll write it down for you."

"Thanks."

"Happy doing business," Micky answers as he write the address down and hands it to me. Though, when I try to grab it, he doesn't let go, looking me straight in the eye. "Be careful now, Angela. The Hunter Exam is no walk in the park."

"D'aww, I didn't know you cared~," I coo, making him huff and let go of the paper.

"I don't, but Palm would kill me if I let you go and die without even a word of warning."

"Isn't she such a sweetheart?"

"She is. Which is why you better call her. Because if you keep ignoring her, I'll help her find you so she can kill you instead."

"You both know there's a reason I don't stay in one place for long."

"That's the magic thing about phones, you can talk to people even when you're on the other side of the country."

Sticking my tongue out at him, I turn around and head for the exit, waving over my head as I leave. "I'll give her a call once I'm done with the Exam."

"You better!" I hear Micky shout after me even as I step back outside, pausing as I come face to face with Johnson.

We both stare at each other for a minute before I give him a bright smile. "No hard feelings, right?"

A beat passes, and then Johnson moves and I don't hesitate to use the secret technique of running away!

"Get back here Angela!"

Laughing as I run, I let my grin widen as I think about the Exam I'm heading to, mostly ignoring the warnings of how it's supposed to be dangerous. Instead, I'm only thinking one thing.

Hopefully, it will be fun.

///

A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

Fuck you for the commission Fumi. 

Also, this chap isn't very interesting, but it's mostly an introduction to the character anyway so no surprise there. I'll go through the Exam pretty quickly, cuz I don't actually like rehashing canon stuff. Presuming I don't see an opportunity to do something interesting when I skim through the exam arc, I'll probably just recap the whole exam with like 5 paras of thoughts and skip it entirely. I'll leave the decision to you Fumi

Also, if the mc didn't turn out how you wanted fumi, lmk