Book 8, chapters 49, 50, and 51 (Patreon)

Hey everyone! I hope you had a great Christmas holiday. I got a theremin. I'm not allowing myself to play with it until I finish this book, however.

<Entry from Carl’s Book of Boom.>

Mehmet Or. Crawler #3,756,330.

Race: Human.

Class: Sipahi.

Final level: 62.

Hello, Carl. My name is Mehmet, and we never met, but I still knew who you were even before you helped save my life at the end of the 8th floor.

I am a nobody. I used to own one of the most popular bowling alleys in Istanbul. I inherited it from my father, who had always dreamed that I would take over his business. It wasn’t a job that I loved, and it wasn’t something that made me a lot of money, but I stayed with it because that’s what we’re supposed to do. We honor the wishes of our parents. My mother was still alive that day when it happened. My wife was alive and pregnant with our third child. who would’ve been my first son. I killed her when she was in the hydra.

Please, I beg of you. Forgive my cowardice in taking a deal. I cannot risk fighting any further. I cannot risk dying. I do not know if this is the best choice, but I am so scared, so tired. I have too much to lose if I make the wrong decision.     

My daughters, Azra and Yaz, were not in the hydra. They were with me outside when it happened, but they did not come with me when we stepped into the light. I believe this means they may still be alive in that place where they’re keeping the children. This knowledge is the only thing that has kept me going, and I pray that after you kill them all, you come and find me, wherever I may be, and you help me find them.

And if by some chance you can’t save those of us who took the deals, please find my Azra and Yaz and tell them that their father fought to save them and that he’s sorry he’s not there anymore, but that he will love them until the very end of time.

I was never the best fighter in my group, but our mage loved this spell because it helped focus the area of effect of his own spells for some time. I hope it’s as useful to you as it was to our party.

Drawing: An amateur picture of a bowling alley

Associated Spell: Gutter Bumpers. Casts at level 9. 

Chapter 49

“Your other left!” Donut cried as a clockwork Olga jerked the steering wheel. The truck crunched loudly and sparks flew as the side hit the edge of the tube, but we made it onto the correct path. If we hadn’t the gyro upgrade, we’d have already flipped over a dozen times by now.  

“Straighten!” Donut shouted, her voice going up an octave. “Straight! Straight!”

The original Olga had already timed out and spilled goo everywhere. The second clockwork sat on the floor of the truck behind me, groaning, back against the pile of weapons and chains, yanking on its own tongue as wet gore sloshed everywhere.

So far, the tubes were pretty much what I expected, though way less steep than I feared. The first part was a literal tube, but the second half was more of a wide half pipe at a slight angle, more like the entrance to a sewer system. These half-tubes were how we knew we were on the correct path as all the enclosed tubes let straight to Satan.

The water was about half the height of the tires, and I worried about the engine, but we’d had Hedy put some protections in place, including a raised air intake. So far it hadn’t been an issue, and we hadn’t even had to inflate the tires.

I dropped a sticky hoblobber out the window, and I kept my head out the passenger side as I watched the group of axe-wielding gingers on inner tubes approach from behind. I counted and then hit the detonator as they passed.

Bam!

A red slosh of liquid twirled up and over the edge as body parts swirled in the air.

“Blood ‘ell,” Satan commented from his spot at the far end of the park. The mountain-sized hedgehog yawned and then rolled onto his back. All the tubes attached to various parts of his body twisted with the giant animal’s movements. The fixed amusements on the ground, however, weren’t as flexible, and a distant roller coaster filled with riders broke apart and fell. Panicked screams filled the park.

“No refunds,” Satan grumbled.  

“Carl,” Donut shouted looking down at the distant destruction. “Wasn’t that the path Florin was on? That idiot creature is ruining everything!”

The bottom part of the water part was part carnival with a few amusement rides and booths, all filled with “customers.” The customers were a mix of the gingers, who all carried axes and chainsaws, and level-40 splatter penguins, who were all water mages. A few demon-like pixies also flitted about, but we hadn’t fought any yet.

From the edge of the half-pipe, a group of Zipper Shrews screamed as they rushed along the lip of the tube, keeping pace. They occasionally jumped toward the truck, only to get zapped by the shield. The little, level-10 rodents were more a nuisance than a real threat, but they were everywhere, infesting the park. They were like regular, tiny shrews but had drills for heads. As long as they didn’t break through the shield and get to our tires, they were mostly harmless, though I wouldn’t want to face a group of them outside the protection of the truck.  

The environmental hazard was something called “nasty gas,” which I assumed was just a typical, you’ll-choke-and-die-if-you-breathe-this sort of thing.

Despite our own shields, everyone in the cab was absolutely soaked, including Donut, who wouldn’t shut up about it. A wet slurry of gore filled the floor of the truck, making everything slippery. This new, clockwork version of Olga no longer leaked fluid, but a spring or cog occasionally popped out of the open skull with a boing.    

Florin: Our path is blocked! We’ll have to backtrack! That’ll give us a better chance at hitting the unicorn. That Flamengo Yak is now in the lead, but we’re gonna haveta do the loop. No way that thing will be fast enough, so they’ll either go all the way back to the splash pad or the lazy river. I have the Denial of Service missiles, and I’ll hit the unicorn just as they start the loop. If they’re not going fast enough, they’ll drop right out and will have to start again.

Carl: Still no sign of the Lady Dominators?

Florin. Nope. Sorry, mate. I can see what place we’re in, so I know they’re behind us but ahead of you. Probably still in the basement.

Florin’s GPS gave detailed information on everyone in the race, but even the upgraded version only gave rudimentary info on the other three heats.  

We still had a few minutes before we hit the ground level of the park. Dozens of the gingers and penguins kept attacking us from all angles, along with a constant rain of the zipper shrews, but our shield was more than enough to keep them off. We were mostly just ignoring and occasionally running over them, as we slipped and slided down the path, keeping steady thanks to our gyro.

While we had no idea for certain where the Lady Dominators were, we knew that Florin and Team Sparkles had been harassing each other all the way down the track. Lucia prime’s psycho personality had wandered back into the body, and she was the one driving. Florin was doing his best to keep her from actually killing the unicorn and rodent.

The lady trolls with the tow truck had apparently had an accident according to Florin. They weren’t dead, but their truck had completely fallen off the track and was crashed upside-down in the brambles that sat under the waterslides. The trolls, being rapid-healing, didn’t need to use the splooge to keep themselves alive in the gas that filled the air around the park, but unless they figured something out, it was likely they weren’t going to finish. They were probably neck-deep in the shrews as well.

Them not finishing, however, wasn’t the same as them coming in last. There were two other heats on the track, but we didn’t know who they were. I didn’t care so much about winning the whole thing. I just wanted us to win our heat, but as of this moment the only surviving team from our own heat behind us was Team Free Love. I had no idea how many other teams were back there.

We’d been going down this steep road for some time now, getting attacked left and right, but I could see the end of the slide, which ended in a bunch of brambles. The clockworks were going to time out in a minute, and I pulled the large camel corpse out. This was the Bactrian who’d broken his neck against the ceiling of One Fine Pig’s garage.

“Donut!” I called.

She cast Second Chance on the camel just as we crashed through the brambles.

“Brake! Brake!” Donut called as we jumped over a barrier and started to slide through the ground-level walkway of the park, knocking over the sign that gave directions to the various parts. To our left, the toddler splash pad loomed, and a mix of small gingers and the pixie demons played as spikes randomly popped up in the air. One such pipe hit a pixie, and the literal words “SPLASH” appeared in neon over the dead creature. The others all shouted with glee and jumped upon the body as the spike retracted.

“You!” Donut said, pointing to the large camel filling the back of the truck. “Stay there and watch her drive until she times out, and then take over.”

The camel’s neck was broken and hung down to the side. A line of green drool filled with black streaks dangled from his mouth, but he groaned in compliance. The second clockwork Olga moved further back to give him a better view. That one had accidently pulled her own tongue out, and it sparked where it had disengaged with her body.

“Activate the spider legs!” Donut called, pointing at the lever. “Olga! No, not there. That’s what inflates the tires! Yes, yes, that, pull it, and then turn the steering wheel all the way to the right!”

The clockwork zombie toad pulled the correct lever, and we all raised up in height as the legs took over. We skittered awkwardly to the right as the blind zombie jerked the steering wheel, skittering us toward the large, concrete wall.

“Quit your belly aching!” Satan rumbled. He was talking to someone else, but the very ground shook as he spoke. He let out a satisfied squeak. “Oh yes, yes. This water is so refreshing, so clean, so pure. Right into my delicate bum.”

“I told you they were all perverts!” Donut yelled.   

This next part of the track was a trick, but it was one that Prepotente had already figured out even though he’d only had clues from the first half before the pitstop. Florin, Osvaldo, and all the others had already gone through this area. Florin had deliberately allowed the trick to activate, which delayed everyone passing through by about an hour.

We were going to skip this part completely.

The trap was that as soon as one passed through this central area where one had to choose a path for the final approach to the exit, the ground would drop out, dropping everyone into the waterworks and pipes under the park, where all the racers had to make a long, twisting circuit in the dark, fighting off Sheol demons and baby versions of the hedgehog, culminating in a Garden Gnome Sprinkler borough boss. Once the teams made it through this part, they would pop back up on the path they were on before to continue on their way.

Team Sparkles had one-shot and shattered the boss with one of their guns. They hadn’t even paused.

Our plan was to sidestep all of this, which would save us a good hour, helping us catch up. But we still wouldn’t be in the lead. We needed Florin to slow the unicorn down.   

“Everyone hold on!” I called as we hit the wall, skittering up it. Just-replaced pots and pans spilled from the cabinets as we turned at a 90-degree angle, moving up the wall at the edge of the park. Thankfully the system wouldn’t let us climb up and over. Donut shrieked at the Olga clockwork to steer as we rushed along the wall, moving toward the entrance to the lazy river. We just had to get past the entrance arch.

The driver’s side door to the truck suddenly opened, and the clockwork Olga dropped away, leaving the driver’s seat empty.

“I told you to put your seatbelt on!” Donut cried as the toad hit the road, causing the trap door to yawn open. The automaton disappeared into the darkness.

Chapter 50

In seconds, the driverless truck was past the hidden trap door, and we continued forward along the wall as Donut shrieked for the camel to grab the wheel. But before he could, we reached a turn in the wall, and the truck ran off the edge. We dropped, hitting the ground hard, crunching loudly and sliding before we bobbed up and righted ourselves like a boat. Two of the spider legs were suddenly smoking and broken, but we continued on our way, moving in an angle toward the entrance to the lazy river, occasionally mowing over wide-eyed gingers standing there on the concrete ground as they queued up to enter the water.

We’d done it. We’d moved past the hidden entrance to the basement. But we still weren’t in the lead. We had one trick left.

“Hurry!” Donut shrieked at the camel, whose hoof slammed painfully into my crotch as he attempted to move into the driver’s seat. He drooled black and green slime as he shoved himself into the seat, the steering wheel tight against his chest. The engine revved as his hoof scrambled for the proper pedals.

“He’s too big!” Donut cried.

Praying this didn’t count as driving, I reached down and grabbed the slider control at the bottom of his seat, and I pressed against the camel’s chest, pushing him back as far as the seat would go. I pressed too hard, and my hand went all the way into his chest, and I felt organs squish under my palm.

Joel the camel gasped as I pulled back.

“Gah,” I cried, shaking my hand. It was covered in black goo.  

“Why did you do that?” Donut yelled as I wiped my hand on the seat. Dorota started to loudly complain.  

The 7-foot, undead camel didn’t seem affected by the new hole in his chest. He was still too big for the seat, but at least he could now move with the chair back. He slammed the brakes, causing us all to crash forward against the dash before settling.  

Donut started shouting instructions on how to disengage the spider legs and inflate the tires as I looked about for threats. We had mobs coming at us from all angles.

Florin: Approaching the loop. I was wrong. The Lady Dominators are behind me, and they’re trading blows with the unicorn team. The yak is also trying to do the loop, but we just passed them. I’m going to... Fuck!

Carl: What?

Florin answered, but before I could read it, the second, clockwork Olga, who was still in the back of the truck near the pile of weapons, timed out, exploding in clockwork parts. The detonation blew the back door open, causing loose pots and pans to spill out onto the path. The detonation also somehow hit a container of oil for the deep fryer, and it splashed everywhere, including on my face. I sputtered. I’d took a small amount of damage.

The massive pile of weapons, all connected via chains, rattled ominously, but they remained where I’d tied them up.

The camel groaned as he finally figured out the controls, angling us toward the river. There was a large, blinking sign that read “Enter Here.” It featured artwork of a red-eyed sloth taking a rip from a bong.

The river was absolutely full of gingers floating along in inner tubes. Somewhere in that mess would be Maurice, the boss. We didn’t have time to find him, so we were going to try to kill them all at once.

I read Florin’s set of messages.

Florin: Lucia cast a spell that left a brick wall on the track, which pretty much stopped the yak and the womantaur team. The unicorn went right over it.

There were more messages, including one from Tran, but I waved them away. We needed to focus on this race. I moved to the next one from Florin.  

Florin: Speeding up now to do the loop. That damn bush thing is fast as a horny cheetah. They’re right on our tail.

I turned to look at the giant loop that dominated this lower half of the park. Satan, too, had turned his giant, dark eyes on the attraction. His nose seemed to quiver in anticipation.

The loop was the shortest path to the exit, but it was exceedingly dangerous. You had to be going fast enough, and it was right in front of Satan’s face. If you didn’t make the loop, you’d drop right into the brambles below. And if you somehow survived the fall, you’d be at the exit to the water slides, meaning you might have to go through the basement area again.     

Ahead, the on-boarding area of the River of Sloth loomed. There was a raft sitting there waiting for us. Supposedly we’d drive onto the raft, and it would float down the river, making it so we didn’t have to drive. The distance wasn’t far, especially since we only had to traverse a moderately short part of the river, but the implication was that the rafts crawled along the river at an excruciatingly slow pace.

It was relatively safe, minus the extra-violent gingers floating in the river, including their basecamp just around the corner

Imani: We just killed our version of Maurice in the slums. He wasn’t a human, but an orangutan. So be careful. The prize was an engineer! He had him tied up, and we got him! Almost to the exit.

Louis: We’re almost out, too! Bodi is the best driver ever!

“Carl!” Donut called as we rolled toward the raft.

I’d already eaten Mehmet’s page from Carl’s Book of Boom, and I prepared the Gutter Bumper spell.

“Casting now!” I called.   

I cast the spell, and a large, blinking set of lines appeared. I mentally clicked on the river in front of us, received a warning that the spell wouldn’t cover the entire river, and I hit deploy.

“Bumpers away!”  

“Here we go!” Donut said as she leaned forward, focusing on the wide river. She cast Ice Slick.

In seconds, the entire river froze, cracking and splitting, and occasionally exploding as the frozen water spread out in a winding pattern, following the bumpers. The spell normally cast in a cone, but because of the Bumper spell, the ice followed the river and was extended by an additional 50%.

The Gutter Bumper spell wasn’t quite what I was tirelessly seeking for explosions, but in this case, it was perfect. I’d never met Mehmet, the Turkish man who’d given me the spell, but I’d heard of him before. He’d focused on support spells and skills, always making sure the other members of his party were as buffed up as they could be. He’d saved countless lives during the pitched battles of Faction Wars. He reminded me of Imani in that way.

People like him were the true heroes of this dungeon.

The river froze.  

Screams rose from the river as the hundreds of inner-tube gingers suddenly became stuck in place.

We bumped as we drove right over the dock, over the now-frozen raft, and onto the ice.

“Follow the river!” Donut called. “Carl!”

The back doors were already open. I pulled the tie holding them down, and I kicked the hastily fashioned brush hog out the back.

It was all the excess, non-magical weapons I had in my inventory, hastily fastened together in a line of chains, all attached to the back of the truck. The loose weapons dragged, bouncing and cutting and slicing and clobbering everything behind the truck as we rushed over the ice.

And for the hundreds of gingers frozen and stuck in the river, the dragging weapons cut through them like weeds.

“It’s working!” I called as we started to slide sideways on the ice. “Gah!” I ducked as a chain broke, slicing past my head like a whip. “Keep it straight!”

Joel the undead camel groaned.

“Cast now!” I called to Donut.

We knew the chains wouldn’t get everyone, so we had a finisher on hand.

Donut cast Summon Ye, Vermin.

The spell would instantly draw every rodent in the area to Donut.

Most of the zipper shrews would have to traverse the frozen path, drilling through everything in their path, including any surviving gingers on the river. If the chains didn’t get them, this definitely would.

And within moments, a gray wave of rodents appeared, coming from all directions at once.  

“Here they come!” I called.

Florin: Attempting the loop! They’re on our ass. They’re gonna try to bump us, so I’m shooting missile now!

“There he is! Maurice! He’s not a monkey!” Donut called from the front of the truck. She was finally alone in the passenger seat, and Dorota had grown the special princess basket for her to sit upon. “He doesn’t even have hair!” She gasped. “He’s casting a spell!”

The Maurice that Imani had to face might’ve been an orangutan, but this version looked a lot like that cartoon ogre, Shrek, though still human. The large man had one arm free and was attempting to cast something. He never got a chance. A wave of the zipper shrews, coming from the direction we were driving, overwhelmed him, drilling through him. The man unpeeled before us, having a dozen holes drilled in him all at once from behind. Little curls of skin and gore erupted in all directions, turning him into a flower made of flesh before it all collapsed on the red ice. A moment later, the blood-soaked shrews exploded against our shield.  

There was a chime.

Quest Complete! Pasty Inferno.

So, this is where I’d tell you how to locate the engineer you just won, but that guy is now in a million pieces, spread all over the ice... Aaaand you just ran over his corpse, splitting him into even more pieces with those chains you’re dragging. Like, holy shit guys. Talk about overkill. You know you only had to kill that boss guy, right? This whole thing is really fucked up. This is seriously bordering on ginger genocide.  

The good news is the quest is complete. I guess that means you can finish the track!

“There’s the exit!” Donut cried, pointing. “Wow, we did that fast! Turn there! Turn there!”

We bumped as we exited the river. Joel the camel groaned incoherently, his broken neck flapping as we rocked up and down. Shrews by the thousands were coming from every which direction, suiciding against our shield, which was moving into the red.

The finish line loomed. We’d be there in about a minute.

“Geez,” I muttered, moving to the back of the truck, looking at the carnage. I started to cut all the chains loose. “The AI was right. We might’ve been overprepared for...”

“Bah, this bores me,” came Satan’s booming voice, followed by a mighty crash.

“Carl, Carl! The loop thing!”

I turned just in time to see the massive loop-de-loop tumbling in our direction, having been headbutted over by Satan. Florin’s Tuk-Tuk and Team Sparkle’s vine were almost done with their loop when they’d been swatted, and they both tumbled through the air, spinning in our direction.

The vine was on fire and covered with goo, having been hit by a denial of service missile. It splotched onto the ground just as the entire structure of the massive loop crashed around us, rock and metal exploding everywhere. We were peppered with chunks of metal, all of it sparking and burning.

Florin was hanging out the side of his Tuk-Tuk, shotgun in hand, firing over and over in the direction of the unicorn as they tumbled and hit the ground, like they’d been performing a stunt. Lucia, now in her skull-headed demon form, appeared to be sobbing and crying and laughing all at the same time as they spun out on the ground. Still, they landed firmly on their tires like this had been their plan all along. The small engine revved, and they zoomed ahead of us, pushing past a piece of the fallen track and moving toward the finish line.

Behind us, the Lady Dominators and the Yak suddenly appeared, though they were still far behind. They had to angle around the crashed pieces of the loop track. They’d followed us on the ice.

We were in the lead, but our shield was now out.

The bush seemed to be floundering. It had the rocket accessory that gave them their incredible speed, but it was still smoldering, and it was just spinning in circles, Dwight screaming. I didn’t see Lucienne, whom I knew was supposed to be the one driving.

And then I did see Lucienne, but she wasn’t in the bush. She was on the hood of our truck. The bug-eyed rodent thing was standing there, smashing herself against the windshield. The finish line loomed.

Donut’s spell, I realized. Lucienne was a rodent, and she’d been summoned.

Holy shit, I thought. We’d had that spell this whole time. I had no idea when and how she’d gotten here.

“Let me in! Let me in! I’m coming to you, swine!” Lucienne shrieked as she pummeled the windshield with her helmeted head, choking and gasping for air. Her bug eyes were getting bigger and bigger by the moment, like they were about to explode. She’d been poisoned by the air, yet she was still charmed by Donut’s spell. “Let me in! Let me fucking in!”

We started to pass under the checkered finish-line arch.

“Get off,” Donut shouted at the weird rodent on our hood. “You can’t pass the finish line outside your...”

Our windshield exploded as Lucienne, the driver for Team Sparkles, was pushed through the glass by the invisible barrier of the finish line. The rodent exploded against my face as she was pressed into my mouth, into my teeth and ultimately through the back of our truck.  

Chapter 51

“Stop, stop!” Donut called as I gagged and choked. I had dead Lucienne all over my face. My teeth ached where her helmet had ricocheted off. I’d swallowed some of her.

 The camel hit the brakes, and we lurched to a stop. I continued to cough and hack, some of her bits coming out of my nose. I pulled a water bottle from my inventory, and I drank, my sinuses burning. I spent several moments just coughing and sneezing, getting red blood everywhere.   

Now that the race was over, I could touch the controls again. I reached over and yanked the car into park.

“You, out,” I coughed at the camel corpse, who looked at Donut for confirmation.

“Do as Carl says,” she said.

“Okay,” the corpse rasped, sounding dejected. It surprised me, because I’d never heard one of these things talk. He opened the door, started to step out, but he faded away into dust before he could exit.

I slid into the driver’s seat and moved the truck over so it wasn’t blocking the entrance, and just a minute later, the Lady Dominators passed through, followed by Osvaldo’s team.

I sent a quick note to Jasha and Radoslav. Despite my warning, they’d gotten stuck in the basement and were making their way through that part. They’d be at least another 40 minutes. Thankfully, there were several more racers on the track, including at least two other crawler teams we didn’t know, hopefully meaning nobody from our heat would be last-last, but I needed to make sure.

Jasha: You really think we should save him? He’s the worst one!

I looked at Donut, who was currently attempting to fish Lucienne’s small, cracked racing helmet from the soupy gore on the floor of the truck.

She shrugged and looked up. “If they drag the bush behind them, it guarantees they’ll survive. If that Dwight guy is in last place, he’ll die either way. But if he doesn’t make it, and Jasha and Radoslav finish, they might be the last place team, and then we’ll have two replacement teams. I don’t want to race another team of crawlers, that’s for sure. And I really don’t want to have two more. On the other hand, if we let the Unicorn live, we might regret it. He hates us. Though maybe he’ll be nice now that his girlfriend is dead. But probably not. Got it!” The gore soaked racing helmet disappeared into her inventory. A moment later, she scoffed. “Carl, that helmet has a curse! It’s worthless! What is Michale Graves Disease?”

I sighed and then sent a message to the bugbears as we exited the truck.

Carl: You should probably tow him in if he’ll let you. But be wary.

“How the hell did you beat us? You’re a cheater,” Genesis said from her car. The entire front end of their GTO was splattered with blood. Corky remained passed out in the back. Before I could respond, they continued toward their garage. Osvaldo and Felipe both gave me a nod before they also continued, but not before Felipe gave Lucia the finger. She started to peel herself off the Tuk-Tuk to move toward them, but Florin put his hand on her shoulder, holding her in place.  

Lucia turned her attention to us. I stood tense, looking at the woman with the skull head. I felt a chill go through me.

She spent a moment examining me, then Donut.

I was startled by a sudden notification.

The Scavenger’s Daughter blinks, for she does not know what she sees.

“What the hell?” I muttered.

And then she was there, standing right in front of me. Lucia had moved from the parked moped to right in front of me in a blink. She was so close, I could kiss her.

She had no scent at all, which was somehow even more disconcerting. Her black, ratty hair dangled, mixing with mine as she leaned in, as if she was sniffing me. There was nothing in her skull faced eyes. Just black, soulless orbs.

Donut let out a deep growl and jumped to my shoulder, tense.

“Easy, easy,” Florin said, coming up. “We’re all friends. Ain’t that right, Lucia?”  

“Chalchiuhtlicue is here,” Lucia said, whispering in my ear. “She’s new to this place, but she is here. She doesn’t need Cici or Gus like the residual and the primal did. She keeps telling us that she is kind, and that she will protect us. But she says the kindest thing may be letting us die. She says we are vessels in the river, just as you are, Carl. We are drowning together, you and me and all the others. But more are coming. The veins are open, she says. All the trapped are coming, Carl. All seek the prize on the 12th floor. Not just her kind. The real, the imagined, and the enslaved. All gather, focused on the ascendency. It’s not a game like they told me. But it’s not a game like they told you, either. Not anymore.”

Lucia blinked, took a step back, and her demeanor instantly changed. Another blink, and she was no longer the skull-faced version, but the young, fresh-faced woman. The change was instantaneous.

This form shrank back, shoulders hunched, afraid.

The presence is gone. The Scavenger’s Daughter shudders in fear.

“Do...do you know my dad?” this new version of Lucia asked. She stepped forward hesitantly, and then she grabbed me by the shirt. “That lady. The shining lady, she said you know my father. She said he gave you a spell.”

“Wha... what?” I asked, utterly confused.

“My name is Azra. Yaz is here, too. She’s crying. That goddess. She’s talking to her now, telling her that you used a spell that our father gave you to win your races.”

“Wait,” I said, remembering the note from the Book of Boom that I’d eaten to get the bumper spell. I reached up and put my hand against hers. It was warm and trembling. “Does your dad own a bowling alley?”

Lucia gasped “Yes! Yes! That’s him! Is he here? Can I talk to him?” She turned, looking about. “Baba! Baba!”   

“Hang on,” Florin said, jumping forward. “Give me all the names of those around you. I’m making a list!”

“Where is he?” the girl named Azra asked again, ignoring Florin, her voice going up in pitch.

“I’m really sorry,” I said. “But he’s safe. He wanted to me to tell you that he loves you and that he’ll see you soon.”

She started to quietly cry. “I’m so scared,” she said. “The angel lady says it might be better if we all die. She keeps talking about people coming and taking our bodies. It’s so cold.”

“Who?” Florin asked, interjecting. “Who is coming?”

The girl turned to Florin, eyes going wide, as if she was finally noticing him. The girl let out a little shriek, turned, and ran.

 Florin sighed. He reached up and slung his gun over his back. “I better chase her. Lucia comes back pretty quick after they get spooked. Gotta keep her from killing our gremlin.”

“Carl,” Donut said a moment later as we watched Florin run after the girl, who’d raced toward the line of garages. Our garage was open with Hedy and Jamal standing in the door. Jamal gave an excited hop as Lucia passed, and the girl shrieked again and continued to run. “What the heck is happening with her?”

I was starting to form a theory, but I didn’t want to say it out loud. I was pretty sure Florin had already figured this out, as did Orren, which terrified me.

“I don’t know for sure,” I finally said. “But we really need her to take a deal.”

I turned my attention back to our battered and blood-soaked truck. The tires were still inflated, making it look ridiculous. The entire tommy gun was gone off the roof, and I hadn’t even noticed. The whole thing was beaten up, dented, and splattered with blood. But it was still in much better shape than last time.  

“We did it,” I said after a minute. “We came in first place for our heat.”

“Not first-first,” Donut grumbled. “And we lost our mercenaries again.”

“We did,” I said, remembering Olga, Finley, and Quemada. “But we won a key. Come on. Waiting here isn’t going to do us any good.” I moved to the driver’s side and slipped into the truck.

The interior of the truck was absolutely filled with gore and broken glass, and it stank like death. It was an all-too-familiar stench. I sighed.  

The moment I settled into the wet, gore-soaked driver’s seat, Dr. Metcalf beeped.

Limited details on the next race are now available.

Please note. Heat number 5 will be the last single-run race. The final two races after this one will be concurrent with no time between them.

Next heat starts in five hours.

“Shit,” I said. That meant we were going to have to complete the Corcunda quest now, and we didn’t have much time to do it. We had a lot to do before this floor ended. If the last two races were one after another, it meant the only down time we had was now and then after this fifth heat. And we had to get the Corcunda one done before we started dealing with the war mage stuff.  

Total Distance: Approximately 20 kilometers.

Distance to next rest area or refueling pit stop: This heat does not have any pit stops.

Track: The Gasworks Screw Factory. This track will require vertical climb, inverted racing, and gap coverage of over 100 meters. There will be multiple paths to the exit.  

Tasks required to complete: Don’t get squished. Don’t get melted. Don’t get screwed.   

Environment: Extreme heat. Containment field will protect from heat and molten metal.

Hazards: Containment theft is now enabled. If your containment touches another containment for more than 5 seconds, the containments are now fused. If you separate, you have a 33% chance of taking the other containment with you, a 33% chance that your containment will get stolen, and a 33% chance that the containments will separate properly. The remaining 1% chance is that both containments will pop.

In other words, don’t bump your fellow racers.

If you do not have a containment, you may steal one back if you are in contact with another containment for twenty-one continuous seconds.

Oh, by the way. All paths on this race are only wide enough for two at a time, and you’ll be sharing this track with 11 other heats.

Time Limit: 30 minutes.  

Donut let out a little whimper. “Carl, I don’t like this.”

“One race at a time,” I said. “The good news is I can drive again.”

I suddenly remembered the messages we’d received during the race, and I checked them now. There were dozens of them. I cringed, reading of all the crawlers who’d fallen. I focused on that message string from Tran.   

Tran: If this is my last message, know that I tried to stop them from fighting Li Na. I tried.

This was followed by a message from Imani.

Imani: Tran! Are you okay!

Tran: I’m alive. We actually won the race. Zhang was leading their octopus, and he let me pass. They tried to stop her, and it’s the same thing that happened in Beijing. She cast a dread, and they started killing each other. It was awful. I think of all 24 teams that started the race with us, only five survived, and one of those exploded right after they crossed the finish line. Of our heat, it was just my team and them. Zhang needs help. He was sobbing. I don’t know what to do.  

Heat four. Results.

First Place: The Royal Court of Princess Donut. (M)
Second Place: Lady Dominators and the Gimp. (M)
Third Place: Team Flamengo. (B)
Fourth Place: Team Free Love. (M)
Fifth Place: Team Sparkles. (B)

Eliminated: One Fine Pig. (M)