Chapters 214 and 215 (Patreon)

​​Chapter 214

<Note added by Crawler Carl, 25th Edition>

After all this time, it’s still shocking to me how quickly everything can change.

~

“No... No,” Anton said.

A bolt of lightning crashed through the room, coming from the ceiling. It hit the newly-repaired floor tiles and shattered several of the pieces. They flew through the room like shrapnel.

The star appeared on my map. A man formed, right where the lightning hit. He stood before Anton and Paz on the other side of the room.

The backpatch on my jacket vibrated, the sensation oddly reminding me of a phone on silent.

You are in the presence of a deity. The Scavenger’s Daughter has opened her eyes. She fills with power.

Temporary effect: All-Smash Related Attacks +300%.

Ogun was human-sized, buff and dark skinned, holding a giant war hammer over his shoulder. He wore a leather apron with no shirt, shorts, and a necklace made of sharp, white teeth from some massive creature. His eyes glowed with light. His entire body glowed yellow.

It was as if someone had dropped a grenade into the room. We all stared, waiting for the inevitable. I examined him.

God of Blacksmithery and Armor Ogun. Level 250.

This god is not sponsored.

Warning: This is a deity. He is invulnerable on this floor.

This god has been temporarily summoned to this location. Summoning rules apply.

Ogun is an outsider. He is one of the old gods, originally a member of an obscure pantheon that has since dissipated into time. He spends his days at his celestial anvil, angrily creating armor, piece after piece, but no one knows why he toils or what becomes of the armor when it’s completed.

It’s said his creations have a strange shape, all designed for four-legged beasts.

Ogun is no stranger to conflict. He is—well, he was until a minute ago—the last surviving member of an ancient pantheon that was known for its bloody conflicts. Like most of the older gods, he isn’t the same entity as he once was. In the great Halls, he is considered a god of blacksmiths and armors. He once was something even greater.

His power and ambition makes him a strong contender for the celestial throne.

He’s here now because Ogun strongly believes all punishments should be handed out in person.

“For a god that’s always making armor, you’d think he would be better dressed,” Donut muttered from the back of Mongo, who screeched in agreement.

“Don’t move,” I whispered. “Don’t bring attention to yourself. He’s here for them, not us. But get ready for plan Exit just in case.”

“Just you, me, Mongo, and Bomo? Are we going to abandon the others?”

“Yes.”

Plan Exit was for me to hit Protective Shell while we both downed Invisibility potions. We’d get outside and then Donut would puddle jump us as far away as possible. I looked nervously at Mongo and the massive cretin standing behind us.

“I gave clear instructions,” Ogun said at the cowering forms of Paz and Anton on the far side of the room. His calm, even tone held a hint of a Caribbean accent. He didn’t sound angry, which somehow made him seem even more incensed. The god didn’t need to be physically huge or loud to give off an air of pure, unbridled rage. “You managed to chase off Asojano, which might’ve saved you. But you also unleashed my sister back into the light. That is unforgivable.”

“No,” Sister Ines called from the side of Anton. “That wasn’t them. It was them,” she said, pointing at us. Ogun ignored her.

“I should never have allowed you the privilege of worshipping me,” Ogun said.

I was frozen with indecision. Despite what I’d just said to Donut, I felt as if we should be doing something. Anything. Should I help? How? Even if I could get them out of here, then what? The god would just follow. My new nipple ring came with a spell, Black Nimbus, that would temporarily remove all the benefits of being a worshipper of a god. Maybe it would save them from getting a smite. I could only cast it on one of the two men, but did I dare try it? Ogun only had eyes for his two worshippers. The last thing we wanted was to gain his attention. It’d be like trying to stop a train by stepping in front of it.

“Leave them alone!” Sister Ines cried, coming to stand between the god and the two men with the still-falling health. The god paused and cocked his head to the side, regarding the cat woman, finally seeing her. She pulled her magical trident and brandished it at the deity. “You’re not a real god. They only worshipped you because you promised to protect their minds, and it didn’t work! They didn’t do what you said because they were charmed by that other one! They didn’t repair any of the shrines. It was those two behind you!”

She made a threatening move with the trident, which was equal parts brave and idiotic.

Ogun grunted with amusement. He waved a hand, and she froze in place. Her trident fell to the ground and shattered. A Shelved debuff appeared and started to count down. It had a six minute timer. Holy shit, I thought. She’s lucky he didn’t turned her to ash.

Another slug slurped out of my body and hit the ground. The level-3 slug hissed and jumped at Mongo. It met the same fate as the last one.

Ogun spent a moment admiring the frozen cat woman, and then he sidestepped her and approached the form of Paz, whose health was deep in the red. Both Anton and Paz were on the ground, hunched over in pain.

Donut: CARL, WHAT DO WE DO?

Carl: We wait for it to pass. What else can we do?

Donut: HE’S GOING TO KILL THEM.

Carl: For their sake, let’s hope that’s all he does.

The god leaned forward, reached out, and placed his hand against Paz’s face. The handprint sizzled where it touched flesh. Paz was already in so much agony, he barely seemed to notice this. His health stopped descending. His body flashed, and then his health bar disappeared. The god had healed him. Ogun stood and Paz’s health immediately started to descend again. “Paz, you are no longer under my grace. For your failure, I am taking your ability to heal this condition you now suffer. Go in darkness, and when you pierce the veil, you will find yourself alone and without armor.”

“No,” I heard myself say. I took a step forward. I had a boil on my cheek, and I knew it was about to pop. “Fuck you. Go fuck yourself.”

The god looked over his shoulder. “I know who you are,” he said, finally acknowledging me. He looked away. That was it. He turned his attention to Anton, who was crab walking away. The man’s health was almost gone.

Goddamnit, I thought. A wave of helplessness washed over me.

I took another step forward, and I cast Black Nimbus on Anton. Then I clicked on a scroll of Heal, first on Anton, and then immediately another on Paz.

Anton glowed with dusky light. A black crown formed over the tattooed man’s head. The shunned mark disappeared. For a moment, Anton’s eyes met mine.

The god stood. He turned away from Anton to regard me. The boil on my cheek exploded, and I grunted with pain. Mongo greedily snatched the slug away. I had two more boils forming. One on my right arm, and one on my thigh.

“Black Nimbus,” the god said. He sounded more curious than angry. “That was a good attempt. But what you have done is removed this man from my protection. From my mercy. Not from my wrath. I was going to do the same to him as I did his companion.”

The god shrugged, and then he took a step back. He stepped directly on Anton’s head, and he crushed, killing him. Just like that, as if he was nothing.

“No,” Paz cried from the ground. “No, cousin. No!”

The god kept his glowing eyes locked on mine the whole time.

“I am not evil. I am not unreasonable. But there are rules. One of those rules is that you must know your place. If I didn’t hold Emberus in such high esteem, I would crush you, too. Now tell my sister I said ‘Welcome Back.’”

He poofed away.

Ogun has left the realm.

The Scavenger’s Daughter has closed her eyes. The benefit fades and will completely dissipate over the next ten minutes.

His sudden disappearance gave me a full view of Anton’s ruined body. The blood was shockingly red against the blue and white tiles.

The only sound was the bubbling of the fountains and the pained rasps of Paz.

I ran up to Paz. The handprint of the god sat sideways on the man’s face, and the burn had removed the skin where flesh met flesh, leaving nothing but red muscle and the white of his teeth. His nose had been spared, and he still had lips, but they were burned and pushed down, like he’d been run over.

I swallowed. I made this happen. I made this happen because I insisted on saving Yemaya.

“Paz,” I said, taking the man’s armored hand. He clutched onto me tightly. The shunned marker was gone from over his head. Behind us, Sister Ines remained frozen, looking away. “We’re gonna get you into the club. We’ll see what they can do.”

His health was slowly fading. The god had made his debuff permanent. There would be no healing, not of this, and we all knew it.

“I remember it all,” Paz said. “Ogun, he cured me of everything. Everything except the Inevitable debuff. I don’t worship him anymore.” He let out a groan. “He promised he would fix it, and he did. But only at the end.”

“Just hang on,” I said, searching my inventory for something that would help. Nothing. I had nothing.

“Maybe it’s better this way,” Paz said, coughing. “The sister was so afraid we wouldn’t go to heaven because we’re pretending to worship these gods.”

“Don’t worry about that,” I said. “They’re not real. They’re just assholes, like everything else in this place. Here. Take this.” I pulled a fine healing potion and put it to his lips. As I did, the boil on my arm popped and the level-5 slug fell right onto Paz’s face.

“I’ll get him, daddy!” the slug cried. I flicked the thing away before it could chomp down. It flew, screaming across the room. Mongo shot off after it as Donut leaped to my shoulder.

“Don’t waste the potions,” Paz said, but he drank it anyway. “Look, brother. I gotta tell you something. You gotta be careful of her.”

“Who?” I asked. “What do you mean?”

“Sister Ines. She’s not safe. Don’t spend too much time with her.”

“I knew it!” Donut hissed. “What did I say, Carl?”

“Hush,” I said to Donut. “Explain.”

Paz’s armor flashed away, piece by piece as he stuck it into his inventory, leaving him just wearing shorts. He winced as he fell straight onto the tiles. Behind him, the newly-erected fountain bubbled away merrily.

“It’s her race. It comes with a skill called Toxo... Toxo plasma something. It makes people like you, want to protect you. You don’t even realize it’s happening. The effects are mild at first, but they get stronger and stronger as time goes on. And then eventually you’ll do anything to protect her. My cousin and I, we didn’t learn about it until it was too late. You don’t even know it’s happening. When you find out, you forget a minute later. That’s how it work. She told us one night. She gets like that sometimes, in a mood. She feels guilty and won’t stop talking about...” He paused. “About the things she’s done. Oh, god, I hadn’t even realized. It makes you forget about that, too.”

“Wait, she was charming you?” I asked.

Paz made a pained expression. “She reminded us once, I don’t know, maybe for the third or fourth time, and we knew we’d forget again in a couple of minutes. We both worshipped Ogun because the priest said he’d keep us from getting controlled. It didn’t work. Right after we worshipped him, we forgot why we’d done it. Sometimes, she pretended like she was sorry. But not always.”

I gave a sidelong glance at Donut, wondering.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that, Carl,” Donut said. “I don’t have that skill. If I did, Katia would still be in the party, now wouldn’t she? You stay because I’m adorable, and you love me, and you wouldn’t survive without me. I don’t need some weird skill to make people like me.”

I regarded the frozen form of Sister Ines. She stood, facing away. She still had a few minutes on her debuff. “You’re saying we should kill her?”

He shook his head. “No. No, not at all. Most of the time, she’s not bad. She’s not evil. But sometimes... You gotta understand. We all came in together. Some of us thought it was a bad idea, but Elian said we needed everybody we could get. He’s dead now. Anton killed him after, after...” Paz took a deep breath. His health was already half gone again. His hand remained clutched in my own, hard as iron. “Oh god, he’d broken free, hadn’t he? She’d been on medication, and then in the dungeon everyone said nobody needed their pills anymore, so we thought it was okay. But she’s killed so many people.”

“What do you mean?” I asked again. “She doesn’t have the skulls.” Mongo returned, triumphant. He posted up by my leg, waiting for the next slug to appear.

Paz winced in pain. “Not in the dungeon. Before. She was in prison for killing all the sisters in her convent. Poisoning them all.”

“I told you! I told you!” Donut cried. She hissed. “The dungeon picked the perfect breed for her. A Havana brown. I knew it.”

“Wait,” I said. “She was a fellow prisoner? We always thought she was a worker. You said she was.”

“I never said that. And we weren’t prisoners. We were guards. It was a women’s prison. We were outside, walking them to the med building when it happened. God, we’re only two left. The sister and I. She’s gonna be the last one. Who would’ve thought? When it happened, the papers called her El Segador de La Habana. The Reaper of Havana.”

“A murderer,” I said, a chill washing over me.

“Mongo,” Donut said matter-of-factly. “Eat the nun.”

Mongo glanced up from the boil on my leg, which was about to pop. He looked at Sister Ines and then back to Donut and cocked his head to the side with a look that said, “Really? Can I?”

“Wait,” I said.

“She’s insane,” Paz said. “She’s obsessed with the idea of sin. But compared to how she was before? She is so much better. She’s been better for a long time, before even. Since we’ve gotten into the dungeon, she hasn’t done anything bad or evil. She’s fought alongside us. If she didn’t have this thing, I don’t think we’d be any different. But... but you needed to know about it. I’d feel guilty dying knowing I didn’t tell you.” He closed his eyes and started to softly pray.

I grunted with pain as my leg boil popped. The slug this time was noticeably bigger and had what looked like white and black paint on its face, almost like it was a miniature danger dingo. Mongo, who’d still been waiting for Donut’s confirmation, snapped it away before it could say anything.

Goddamnit. I needed to get this slug thing taken care of before it got too dangerous. And then figure out this Katia thing. But for right now, this moment, this was our most pressing issue. The nun would wake up in a minute.

Carl: What should we do?

Donut: WE KILL HER. THAT’S WHAT WE DO. I DON’T WANT TO KILL A PERSON ANY MORE THAN YOU DO, BUT WE’LL NEVER TRUST HER AGAIN, AND SHE’S STUCK IN HERE WITH US. SHE KILLED NUNS, CARL. THAT’S ALMOST AS BAD AS KILLING KITTENS.

Carl: That’s not who we are, Donut.

Donut: THEN WHY DID YOU ASK?

Deep down, I knew that would be the safest thing. But to kill somebody because they might do something bad? She hadn’t hurt anybody since she got here. I thought of her putting herself between the god in an ill-fated attempt to save them from Ogun. She’d been willing to die for her party members, and that said more about her than anything that had happened in the before times. She was one of us. The medications had been helping her, and it seemed whatever they’d done was holding now that she was in the dungeon, despite the trauma of everything. I didn’t want to hurt her. I liked her.

We can party with her. It wouldn’t be so bad.

The moment I thought that, a chill washed over me.

Carl: We’ll separate. It’s our only choice. We’ll warn everybody of her past and of that skill that comes with her race. Maybe she can find someone who is immune to the skill to work with her.

Donut: I DON’T KNOW IF NOW IS THE TIME FOR HALF-MEASURES, CARL.

I pulled another health potion, but Paz refused to drink. He only had a two or three minutes left.

“Let me go,” he said. “It’s okay. Please, it’s okay. I just asked for forgiveness, and I think it was given. That fake god said I’d be alone, but I won’t be. I know it. My soul is at peace.”

I looked at the potion, and then I nodded. I put it back into my inventory.

Donut: CARL, CARL, KATIA SAYS THERE’S ANOTHER GOD COMING, AND SHE’S GOING TO GIVE US A QUEST AND WE HAVE TO DO IT, BUT SHE WON’T SAY WHY OR HOW SHE KNOWS THIS. SHE SAYS YOU’RE NOT ANSWERING HER MESSAGES. SHE SAYS SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE QUEST WILL BE. SHE’S BEING VERY MYSTERIOUS.

Chrissakes.

Behind us, the nun became unfrozen, and she crumpled to the ground. She jumped to her feet.

“Paz!” the cat woman cried, rushing up. She pushed me aside and grabbed his hand. I let her.

Mongo let out an uncertain growl.

“It’s okay,” Donut said to the dinosaur. “Just stay on slug duty. For now.”

“Paz,” Sister Ines repeated, ignoring us. She wept as she talked. “Come. Come. We’ll go into the club. We’ll get you cured. Help, Carl. Why aren’t you helping? Why didn’t you get that shrine piece? This is your fault.”

“Don’t blame them,” Paz said. “I’m sorry, Sister. I told them what you are, what you did.”

“Don’t worry about that. Come. Get up. We must hurry.”

“No,” Paz said. His health was almost all gone. “Let me go.”

“You can’t give up,” she said. “It’s a sin to give up.”

The fountain started to bubble furiously.

“It’s not giving up,” Paz said.

“No, no, no. Please. You’re not leaving me. Everyone leaves me.”

“I’m sorry, Sister. Goodbye.”

“No,” Sister Ines shouted, her voice suddenly angry. “No!” She suddenly had a flag in her hand.

She jabbed it right into Paz’s neck.

The movement was so fast, so sudden it didn’t occur to me to try to stop her.

Whoom.

Paz turned into a card.

We all just stared at the cat woman, who held onto the green card. Green, which was the color of a common card. Even she appeared stunned that had actually worked. Behind her, the fountain bubbled over. The water spilled onto the floor.

Yemaya has made an appearance in the realm.

Eileithyia has made an appearance in the realm.

Chapter 215

“Holy shit, sister,” I said as we backed away from the form of the first goddess. “Did you know that was going to work?”

She didn’t have a chance to answer.

You are in the presence of two deities. The Scavenger’s Daughter has opened her eyes. She fills with power.

Temporary effect from Yemaya: All healing skills and spells cost no mana. They have no cooldown.

Temporary effect from Eileithyia: All damage you strike against female opponents is quartered. All female members of your party strike with a melee power of 500%. Girl power, bitches!

The first of the two gods to physically appear was Yemaya, who came straight from the fountain. She emerged, rising from the water, splashing us all. A notification appeared. A temporary buff.

“She’s the Starbucks logo!” Donut hissed.

Yemaya was a stunningly beautiful, dark-skinned mermaid. She didn’t have the harsh facial features of a full naiad, nor the vampire fangs. But she did have the neck gills and pointed ears and large eyes, and I was immediately reminded of both Samantha and the late Signet. She was topless, and water flowed from her pendulous breasts, flowing back into the fountain below her, like each nipple was a spigot. She split at the waist, and she had two bodies, or tails, which was really bizarre. Donut was right. It was just like the Starbucks coffee logo woman. The two, scaled mermaid bodies curved up behind her, contained in the fountain like a giant fish in a much-too-small bowl. The twin tail fins arched  up into the air and met at the tip, making a heart pattern behind her.

Not a mermaid, I realized, staring at the goddess. A siren.

Goddess of Rivers Yemaya. Level 250.

This is a locked deity. She will not be sponsored this season.

This goddess is a retainer of Eileithyia.

Warning: This is a deity. She is invulnerable on this floor.

This goddess is within her own temple. Temple appearance rules apply. That means watch the fuck out.

Yemaya once was the goddess of all oceans, all bodies of water big and small. But she was more than that, too. She was the queen of love and the bringer of life. But, eventually, her people died off, her temples crumbled, and she was forgotten by all except her dear friend, the goddess Eileithyia, who wished every day that her old friend would someday come back from the land of the forgotten.

Now that Yemaya has re-ascended into the Halls, she will have a lot of work to do to make certain nobody ever forgets her name again. She’s an unlikely candidate to claim the throne, but she would work tirelessly for her good friend Eileithyia, should she desire such a burden.

A god that’s a retainer of another god? What did that mean? Just as I finished examining the description, the second goddess appeared. This was Eileithyia, who formed in the center of the room, atop the shattered tiles where Ogun had appeared. I twisted to examine the newcomer.

This one did not look like a goddess. Just a regular-sized alien dressed up for a costume party.

She obviously was from a different pantheon than Yemaya. I knew the “real” Eileithyia was a goddess from Greek myth, but this was some hairy alien thing. I could only tell she was female because it said so.

I’d seen this type of alien before at Crawl Con and in the audience at various shows, but I didn’t know what they were called. They were hairy, covered with blue and black hairs that looked coarse to the touch. About five feet tall. Bipedal with six black eyes, arranged in a V-pattern on her bug-like face. She had four arms with three fingers on each end. She had a long, thin neck that made it appear as if her head might tumble off and away at any moment. Her body was thin except for an extended belly, which made her look very pregnant. She wore a blood-red toga and had a laurel leaf upon her head.

I tensed when I saw the note next to the goddess’s name. She was sponsored. She was being driven by someone. Someone named Huanxin Jinx. I’d never heard the name before.

I realized she wasn’t wearing her soul armor. This was who she really was. I knew the sponsors could do that. Appear as they really were.

The siren goddess Yemaya looked sadly down at the corpse of Anton. “He killed him in my own temple. I’ll have to do something about that.” She looked over to Eileithyia, ignoring us for the moment. “My dear friend. I have missed you so. Thank you for remembering me.”

Eileithyia was looking directly at me. I took a nervous step back. We were in danger here. I didn’t know who this was or her affiliation. Her eyes turned in their sockets, like camera lenses focusing. If she wanted us dead, we were fucked. I examined her.

Goddess of Childbirth and Female Pain Eileithyia. Level 250.

Sponsored by Huanxin Jinx of the Grixist Swarm, CEO of Icon Industries.

Warning: This is a deity. She is invulnerable on this floor.

This goddess has been temporarily summoned to this location. Summoning rules apply.

Eileithyia is something of an oddity. She’s benevolent. Unlike most of these psychos, she’s known for her kind heart. She’s prayed to by all mothers, both when they’re attempting to sow the seeds and when the harvest comes. And while she does many things, she’s mostly known as She Who Eases Pain. Both the physical pain of childbirth and the inevitable darkness that comes to those who are unable to complete their most sacred task. When the stillness comes, she is not the one who has caused the heartbreak. But she is the one holding the grieving mother’s hand.

She’s not known to be someone who seeks the throne, which likely makes her one of the most qualified of the deities to claim the title.

Hopefully her sponsor this season is someone who shares the same grace as her character.

The alien goddess took a step toward us. She put her hand on my shoulder, and then she scratched Donut. Mongo whined uncertainly. The goddess’s entire body crackled with energy.

I received another buff notification. Rapid healing. I took that as a hopeful sign.

Without saying anything to us, she turned to face the other goddess. “Hello, Yemaya. Yes, Ogun insulted you by shedding blood in your own temple. We’ll make certain the counsel hears about it. But that’s for later. Right now we both have gifts for these crawlers, do we not?”

“Crawlers?” Yemaya asked, looking at the three of us plus Mongo and Bomo, who stood behind us, rock mouth hanging open in awe. “Yes, yes we do. There was one more. Where did he run off to? Did Ogun slay him as well?”

I looked at the card still clutched in Sister Ines’ hand. It disappeared into her inventory.

“He’s not here anymore,” Sister Ines whispered.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Paz, about what he said.

Let me go.

The idea of turning a person into a card hadn’t even occurred to me. Could he feel it? How did that even work? Was he just sitting there, on the edge of death in some room, like a genie in a lamp? Or would he blink and suddenly be on the battlefield the next time Sister Ines summoned him? It was so wrong, so grotesque, it made me ill to just think about it.

We need to tear that card.

“I have you to thank for repairing my shrine,” Yemaya was saying. She was talking to Bomo.

Before she finished, another slug popped, this one coming from out my arm. Mongo snapped at it and missed. It hit the ground and looked up at Yemaya.

“Fuck the gods!” the slug cried.

The ground opened up under it, a hole no bigger than my fist, and the slug disappeared, screaming into the darkness.

“Uh,” I said. “I can’t control that. Another one is about to pop out, too.”

Yemaya’s eyes fixed on me. “I know the condition you suffer from. It is from my brother. He did it on purpose, just so you know. Strand himself here, I mean. He feigns innocence, but he always knew what he was doing. I’m glad you saw him for what he was. As to the slugpox, a healer can fix that. You should probably address it quickly.” Her twin, back tails fluttered. “Now, take these as a token of my gratitude. One for you, brave Sister Ines, and one for you, beautiful Princess Donut.”

The card appeared floating in midair in front of Donut. She gasped and reached out and took it before I could examine it. It had the black border of mythical rareness, the second highest quality, only behind the orange unique cards.

“Thank you, your goddess-ness!” Donut said, voice full of wonder.

“Carl, It’s a mystic card,” she shout-whispered. “We have all five kinds now. It lets us steal a card from someone else! It’s not even consumable. It’s great.”

I hadn’t heard of anyone finding a mystic card yet. They were supposedly magic spells that directly affected gameplay somehow, unlike a utility card which would affect just one totem or a special card, which was usually a consumable, one-time effect on the caster.

Yemaya laughed and clapped her hands. “I am glad you enjoy it, little Donut. I can’t help but see you haven’t given yourself to a goddess yet. Perhaps I can entice you into worshipping at my altar? There may be more prizes in it for you.”

“Uh, I’ll have to think about it,” Donut said. “But thank you so very much.”

Yemaya nodded and pointed at Bomo. “You. Come here.”

Bomo grunted and stepped forward. His feet splashed in the water overflowing from the fountain.

She reached forward and put a webbed hand on his shoulder. “You are the one who constructed my shrine.”

“It easy. Easier than Tetris.”

“If it is in my power, I will give you what you desire. What do you want?”

Bomo thought for a moment. “Maybe more games,” he finally said. He paused. “No. The Sledge. I miss my friend.”

“You miss your friend? Then you shall be reunited! Where is he?”

“Larracos,” Bomo said.

“It is done,” Yemaya said, and without a word, Bomo blinked and disappeared.

He was gone, just like that.

Motherfuck.

Mongo whimpered.

I exchanged a look with Donut. Did that just happen? She’d teleported Bomo to the ninth floor. We needed him, needed his spell to get us to the stairwell. Goddamnit.

“I, too, have a boon for each of you,” Eileithyia said. “And a quest for Carl, who worships my good friend Emberus.”

I straightened. “I didn’t know quests were a thing when you already worshiped another god.”

The hairy alien woman smiled, and I suddenly felt uneasy.

She raised her hand, and a soft, yellow light filled the temple.

The light of grace fills you with peace. You have been granted a floor boon. This boon will remain in place for the remainder of this floor as long as you remain in Eileithyia’s grace. She may revoke this boon at any time.

Protection from Spiritual Possession.

Protection from Summoning. Your body may not be used as a summoning vessel.

Plus 10% Constitution.

“Wow,” Donut said. “This is fantastic. You’re both great goddesses. Much better than all the other ones we’ve met so far.”

“Now, Carl,” Eileithyia said. “One more item. This is just for your party.”

New Quest!

Warning: This quest comes from a deity you do not worship. You are not required to complete this quest, but they might not like it if you ignore them.

Kill five spiders in my name every day for the next five days.

Reward: You will receive another boon from me.

This quest, all except the warning part, came in Eileithyia’s voice.

“Uh,” I said, exchanging a look with Donut.

“Kill spiders?” Donut asked, confused. “Does it have to be a specific type of spider, or will any do? I saw a small one earlier outside, sitting on one of those tombstones, but I’m not sure if it’s really here or if it’s a part of the memory thing.”

“The memory thing isn’t happening in the cemetery, remember?” I said.

“Oh yeah,” Donut said. “This is going to be really easy.”

Eileithyia: Carl, the system is not allowed to monitor this message. Do not respond, because they can see your response. This is a deity message, and it will disappear. That quest is just a cover. It allows me to send you messages, and it’s a workaround that gives me the ability to award your party another boon. If you want to save Katia and Donut, listen to me. That quest I gave isn’t the real quest, though you still need to complete it. If you understand what I’m saying, scratch your left arm.

I went stiff. Just as I finished reading the message, another slug popped out. Mongo managed to get this one, but I noted he actually had to chew this time. I also took the time to copy and paste the message into my scratchpad. I knew from Emberus that she was correct. The god messages went away the moment you closed them, but it did allow you to copy and paste.

I scratched my left arm.

Eileithyia: Good. When Odette gets into orbit, she is going to offer to be your faction wars team Adjutant. She’s only doing this because she believes there’s no way you will get the votes to turn off the team protections. She believes your real goal is for you to compromise and have the protections turned on for all the crawlers on the ninth floor.

That was absolutely true, but I hadn’t said that out loud to anybody. The message continued.

When Odette makes this offer, I want you to accept it. If you do this, I will make certain you have the votes to turn the protections off on the ninth floor. I’ve watched you long enough to know you’d prefer this outcome. I know what you really seek.

They will never allow the crawlers to be safe, just so you know, so you aren’t losing anything by helping me.

I will graciously clear this issue with the Crown of the Sepsis Whore as well. You’ve just seen what a goddess in her own temple can do, how she transferred that cretin to the ninth floor. A deity in their own temple has more powers than even the AI in some cases.

Do not tell anybody about this conversation. Not out loud. Not using that obvious bathroom system. Nobody. Not Donut and especially not Odette or Mordecai. Do not discuss this with Katia, though she knows of this deal. She’ll explain to you what she can, but this part of the bargain is between you and me, and that’s it. If you mention any of this, the deal is off, and I will make certain everyone you’ve ever known and loved is pounded into dirt.

But if you do everything I ask, you will have found a forever friend in me, both during your crawl and after you are free. I will make certain you survive until the twelfth floor, where you and Katia and Donut will help me claim the Celestial Throne once and for all, and after, you will be given a most generous exit plan. I help my friends, Carl. I utterly destroy my enemies.

Ask Mordecai about me. He knows. Just don’t tell him about our deal or this conversation.

If you agree, I want you to tell Donut it’s time for you to get that disgusting slugpox taken care of.

I took a very, very deep breath. It was a lot. A whole lot. What had Katia gotten us embroiled in? What did this woman have to do with Odette?

I copied and pasted the conversation into my secret notepad before it disappeared.

“Donut,” I said. “I need to get into the temple and get this slug thing taken care of as soon as possible.”

Carl: Donut, I need you to get to a saferoom. I don’t want you alone with Sister Ines.

Donut: OKAY BUT YOU GOTTA ASK KATIA WHAT’S GOING ON. SHE WON’T TELL ME ANYTHING. SHE’S ACTING WEIRD.

“My... my goddess!” a new voice cried. We all turned to see a newcomer had entered the temple. He looked just like a regular ghommid, but he was now acting like any old NPC. This one was a squat man wearing ethereal robes. He looked almost human except for a bushy tail. He fell to his knees, and he started to weep.

“I’m assuming he’s blubbering over you, Yemaya, and not me,” Eileithyia said. “I will take me leave. I’ll see you in the halls.” And then the goddess just disappeared.

I could feel yet another slug was about to pop out of me. Yemaya looked at me and pointed to the entrance to the Club Vanquisher. “You better get within,” the goddess said as she faded out of existence.

Both deities have left the realm.

The Scavenger’s Daughter has closed her eyes. The benefit fades and will completely dissipate over the next ten minutes.

Sister Ines was kneeled by Anton’s body. She’d just looted everything he had. She stood and stormed from the temple, stepping over the NPC, who remained on the ground. She didn’t say another word to either of us. I called out for her to wait, but she ignored me. She went out into the night and disappeared.

The boil, this one on the back of my hand, popped and splatted onto the floor. This slug had what looked like a little hatchet glued to its side. It squealed as Mongo snapped it in half.

I healed myself before the effect of the patch dissipated.

Donut and I moved to the entrance of the temple, also stepping around the crying ghommid. Several of the NPCs stood outside, milling about, as if in shock. The town had transformed, though it remained a graveyard. All the tombs had turned into shops. I could no longer see Sister Ines, but we watched her dot move to the entrance to the cemetery, and she went back out into Havana.

“Poor Anton and Paz,” Donut said. She gave me a pointed look. “Especially Paz.”

“Oh, just say it,” I said.

“I told you so, Carl,” Donut said. “I told you. Now we’re going to be worried about her the whole time.”

I sighed. I sent a message to Katia to meet us in the saferoom, but to not say anything to Donut until I got back.

Donut gave me a side head bonk. “Now hurry up and get that taken care. You’re going to give Mongo a stomach ache, and it’s absolutely revolting.”

~~~~

Thanks everyone for your support. I hope you’re all having a good weekend. I’m about to play a private party gig for a bunch of bikers, playing a bunch of songs I don’t actually know how to play yet, so if you never hear from me again, look in the basement of the clubhouse.

Loads of things happening behind the scenes that are keeping me busy. I’ve been putting off posting this chapters on Royal Road because I wasn’t certain if the prologue was going to be relevant or not to this book. It looks like it’s going to be pretty damn relevant, so expect Royal Road to activate soon.

We'll have some card combat soon.

We’re also finally starting to see some movement toward the *entire* story’s endgame, too. I don’t have it all planned out, but I do have a general idea where we’re going. Nobody has guessed what I have planned yet, but current events will play a major role.

Incidentally, all the books start with a quote. This (still unnamed) book's quote is going to be one from the show Breaking Bad:

"The moral of the story is: I chose a half-measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again.” - Mike Ehrmantraut, Breaking Bad.

Also, quick question for those who read this. Who here plays TTRPGS? What do you play and how experienced are you?