How to Steal from a Fantasy Deathworld - Chapter 3 (Patreon)

Wade immediately shoved the phone back in his pocket before he broke it. He'd seen just about every possible type of person in his years of retail hell, he knew when someone was wasting his time. What were his other options right now?

 He could start running instead of fighting, or use the time he had to read through the info.

If this was all real, and he did have a game system. Video game enemies, meant using the video game system to beat them. Fuck it.

There were what, quests? Stats? A useless boon that needed a bow and arrow and he didn’t have any of those. The quests gave rewards, something called a storefront coin. Maybe those could get him further rewards? A gatcha from hell type thing, where he’d redeem the coins for a pay-to-win weapon that he could actually use? He needed a real weapon, that might be how he got one.

He brought up the one quest he might have a chance of completing in time:

System Quest: Glasses of the trade - Use identify thirty times on unique targets. Rewards: One storefront coin.

“Thirty times? Asshole, how do I even use identity in the first place? Where's the tutorial?”

Wade spent one second waiting for a buzz. Nothing. He had to start trying things out. Saying 'quest' out loud had done the trick. So by that logic…

“Identify.” 

A red bar appeared above the skeleton, floating superimposed in his vision. And above that were letters.

Level 12 Undead Nathir Slave - 100%

Glasses of the trade: Identify targets 1/30

New personal quest added: Baby's first kill - Defeat a hostile target of equal or higher level than yourself. Rewards: One storefront coin. Increased confidence.

New personal quest added: Press gang ganged - Defeat the workforce of skeletal pursuers after you. Rewards: One storefront coin. Increased confidence.

Har har, the system was also a troll. Was the system directly talking to him through the phone while it kept things more neutral in the interface?

Not important right now, Wade shook his head. Undead trying to eat my brains. He turned his attention back to the undead horde.

The scratching became more furious as he got closer in order to get a view past the first few skeletal slaves all bunched up. "Identify."

Level 13 Undead Nathir Slave - 97%

Level 11 Undead Nathir Slave - 99%

Level 12 Undead Nathir Slave - 99%

Unfortunately the quest bar remained at one out of thirty. "Unique targets, oh fuck off." He muttered. This was going to take forever. He gave a few more curses, then swapped gears.

He didn't need to identify just enemies. There's an entire world here to test out.

He turned and tried it on the rocks next. 

Stone.

"You don't say." Wade deadpanned.

Glasses of the trade: Identify targets 2/30

Obvious stone was obvious, but points were all that mattered.

He gleefully did the same for the tools at his feet. Picks, hammers, phone. Each one gave him a point in the quest.

Glasses of the trade: Identify targets 5/30

 He then went on to checking out the wooden support struts, mud, water, or anything else he could cut in half using some of the discarded tools here to cut things up. 'Wooden handle' and 'broken-off pickend' triggered a new point each. And cutting off a chip of wood from one of the support struts gave him just regular old wood as a target. He took his shirt, socks, pants, underwear, nailing a point for each.

A small rip of cloth gave him another point for 'textile', but he couldn't milk it with the socks and pants as they all returned the same type. Making a drawing on the ground also didn't trigger anything more than 'mud' which he'd already gotten a point out of. He went back to the hole and tried using identify on some of the gear the skeletons had, like their helmets or rope, but the system just gave him the unit as  whole. He was running into hard limits here and the system no longer worked with him. Damn.

He could break his phone down for more sub-components, though he immediately discarded that idea. The phone was too important to survival. There had to be other things nearby to work with.

Running out of targets, he hit himself. 

Level 1 Human - 94%

Glasses of the trade: Identify targets 26/30

In about a minute he just needed three more targets and he'd get that coin. "Maybe there's a way to keep it running constantly?"

As he thought about it, the world popped up with name tags and red health bars. A bunch of stones, all the tools and tunnel supports, and a lot of red bars on the other side of the cavern. Now he had numerical proof he was outnumbered like thirty to one. "Lovely."

One new thing showed up that he hadn't noticed until then.

Level 2 Blackrot Rat - 84%

Glasses of the trade: Identify targets 27/30

When he looked for the smaller red bar, he found a tiny rat squeezing it's way near the hole he'd come from. It got free, plopped silently on the ground, then raced past him to the back of the cavern like a tiny black missile. It acted terrified, though he couldn't quite tell how it looked. More like a black rat-shaped thing, with a shimmering white outline to it that flashed around for a half second. It was leaving small traces of blood behind, dust rising up from the droplets, before fading away.

That was weird. But the rat wasn't trying to kill him, which meant it automatically went into the 'low priority' category. He searched around the dim tunnel for anything else to identify, and found nothing else was triggering the quest.

Racking his brain, he came up with one more option: “Stats” he called out, and then cast identify right on the floating text. 

Glasses of the trade: Identify targets 28/30

The panel shifted. More detail appeared. He read through it rapidly, looking for anything he could use. 

• Stamina - Attribute governing physical endurance.

• Strength - Attribute governing physical strength.

• Intelligence - Attribute governing mental control of mana.

• Agility - Attribute governing physical coordination.

• Vitality - Attribute governing physical health, resilience, and resistance to mana.

• Luck - ???

"Thanks, real helpful." Sure if he survived all of this, then he’d take a closer look, but right now there wasn’t anything he could get out of this. But it did give him another point. Twenty eight out of thirty. 

Further down the stats list, he found his buffs and debuffs. Those now had explanations. 

Buffs

• Market’s blessings (Language, Passage, Luck) - Allows you to read, write and speak fluently in any language used by general trade. Allows passage into Azdrial with all currently equipped gear or independent beings, and allows return passage back in the same manner. Increased overall luck and success in gambling.

Wait - right there. He pulled up the phone. "Is this where I am? Azdrial?"

It remained silent. Then buzzed and the screen lit up.

Yes.

At least the texts were answering some basic questions. Wade pushed his luck. "Then, there's a way back using this buff?"

I guess

"How do I trigger it?"

Hahah, you want me to ruin the fun early? No way~

"Stupid fu-" he groaned. A shame that this shitty little phone cost too much to just toss into the wall, plus it was his only other source of light. His eyes looked down at the next buff instead.

• Play’s sponsorship into THE GAME - Allows access to all features of THE GAME, with Play as your storefront sponsor.

Far, far less detailed here. There was a mention of the storefront, and Wade had a suspicion THE GAME was this system interface. Why was Play capitalized? Was it a name? "Who's Play?" He asked.

You're making me sad here Michael, took you until now to ask me my name?

"….You're Play."

You finally caught on

"What are you?"

 I'm your sponsor here, your partner in crime, basically your best friend.

"Are you a person or something else?"

I'm a god. Specifically of games and stories. I'm kind of a big deal now, you know? (ง ื▿ ื)ว

He chuckled to himself with a nervous tick. Too much of this felt too real, and simultaneously completely stupid. He was talking to a god through his phone. A god named Play. He had to roll with it.

"Are you the system?"

Me? Strong enough to warp reality itself just to fit video game rules? Aww, you think so highly of me  (￣▽￣*)ゞ

"You're not?" He didn't know how reliable Play was about this. The 'god' could be just lying to his face. Or a subpart of the system.

It's a game to me just like it is to you Michael. Only difference is that to me, it's like an auto-battler instead. I pick my champion, toss them into the world and get to see what happens.

"You dropped me into a lethal difficulty map." Wade hissed. "As a level one. You're shit at this game."

Like I said, if you survive to the end, you'll be waaaaay ahead of everyone else.

"I want a different god."

No you don't lol, other gods are going to be more controlling, so you lucked out with me. Plus you don't get to pick who's your sponsor.

So he was stuck with Play. "Is there anyone else in this dungeon?"

Other players like him might technically be opponents in this stupid game, but if they were all level 1 like he was running around in a lethal difficulty map, then only idiots would refuse to team up for safety.

Maybe? The others would have to be seriously stupid to send their champion down here at level 1 though (*￣▽￣)b

And you're not-" He bit down a few cursed, holding his breath hard to keep calm. That was bait. Wade could tell from a mile away.

No, if there were other players down here, he'd need to find them himself.

New Regional Quest: A grim fate for all - Locate all 23 players within the local region, or their remains. Rewards: Possible allies.

Funny how the System was more cooperative than Play. "Twenty three others are down here?"

I mean, that's what the quest text said… surprised you got it to fess up like this? Good job~

That gave him some hope, he had to find a group to team up with soon. But there was a more important question to ask first. Play was right about something even if the god was lying about everything else: He had to survive to the end. "How do I get out of here?" 

And there's a more important question to ask first. Play was right about something even if the god  was lying about everything else: He had to survive to the end. "How do I get out of here?"

Probably one of the tunnels behind you. Duh.

He took a deep, calming breath, and hissed through his teeth. "I mean back to earth, back to my house and my life."

Win the game, or just die in a ditch somewhere idk. ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌

"Just… die somewhere? What the hell?"

You gotta admit that'd be a pretty funny start lol

"Can you, please, answer this one question?"

I am a god of games, and games are all about rules Michael. Like I offered earlier, kill something first and I'll give you answers on what's going on like you wanted~ Deal?

He could tell there wasn't much else of a choice. "Fine, deal."

New Personal Quest: Deal with the Devil: Kill a target of sufficient levels to impress your storefront sponsor Play. Rewards: Answered questions.

Now, recommend you get back to it. Before, you know, you get mobbed lol

The phone screen's text was wiped out, and nothing came back. He set the phone down, just stunned and thinking. He should have woken up ages ago. And yet he was still here, scratched up, still very much in pain, now reading through floating menu texts that actually made sense with some context. His eyes hovered under the buffs, and saw an entire category for debuffs.

They were equally explained.
And even worse.