Die Trying - Chapter 11/12 (Patreon)

They spotted him at the same time that he spotted them.

A grim fate for all: 2/23

"OI, BAMPOT WITH THE WEE LIGHT!" A girl's voice called down the tunnel, where the other light was moving around. "YOU STILL AMONG THE LIVING OR WHAT? SAY FECK IF YER STILL ALIVE!"

Sounded… scottish? Wade didn't know, but he did know the skeletons were absolutely going to be charging this way with her yelling this loud. He turned, and sprinted down in her direction, unable to make any details from this far away without his glasses.

"Get away!" He yelled out, "They're right behind me!"

"Whit ye on about ya daft- OH SHITE! LEG IT EVERYONE! BACK TO THE LADDER, GO-GO-GO!" The light turned back and started sprinting away from Wade.

He saw the outlines of two others with the girl, taller than her. Survivors. Worst time to find people, but least he'd have company when he got his eyes eaten.

Speaking of, he turned his head to check on the horror show: They were coming straight out of the little mining hole, sprinting after him.

Nope nope nope. Wade pushed himself harder, gritting against the pain, forcing his leg to run properly. It was steadily getting worse, agitated and soon going to be back in the limping stage. He could dump more points into vitality right now, give himself a fighting chance.

But he only needed to make it to the ladder ahead. He could see the light illuminating it. And the girl was already climbing up.

The clatter of bones grew louder. The walkway ladder was close now, maybe thirty feet away. That thought was wiped out of his mind a moment later for one good reason:

A skeletal hand scraped against the back of his shirt. Holy shit they were closer to him than he thought.

He jumped, twirled in the air and threw his lantern right at the skeleton behind him, specifically the feet. Something in his right arm throbbed.

Instead of simply being tossed into the skeleton's path to trip over, the lantern outright punched straight through the rib and into the hips, striking the ground behind and shattering into a hundred small glimmering fragments.

The health bar on the skeleton went from 100% to 84%, along with the skyviper archer debuff - the most damage he'd ever done to these assholes yet. Last he saw of the skeleton that had nearly caught him, was it falling flat into the ground, one leg broken off, while the hip and torso were in pieces.

He couldn't tell what else had happened, because his twist was bringing him back face to face with the approaching ladder. Nine terrifying seconds of running later, he got the strangest notification on the side.

Press gang ganged: 1/62

Wait, what? Did one of the skeletons get destroyed? How di- the skyviper archer hit. The lantern counted as a ranged weapon hit, so it must have triggered the debuff. But that did enough damage to kill the skeleton by itself?

Did the corrosive damage scale on initial damage? Or were these lower level skeletons less resistant? Or was the lantern somehow augmenting it?

His questions came to an end as he got closer to the ladder and the group in the darkness. Two were climbing up the ladder, led by the girl with a light. He could see more details, looked to be a smaller version of his lantern.

The third ran right past him, and he got a split second view as they crossed paths. His first impression was a shield and spear.

Wade turned his head back for a moment to see what was going on.

Carnage.

The figure was an armored knight in blue and silver. No helmet, blond hair in a ponytail with blue streaks that didn't look quite right. And she did have a shield and spear.

That weapon slashed through the nearest skeleton, cutting off it's head, before the giant kite-shield bodychecked into the rest of the body, ripping it apart.

Press gang ganged: 2/62

Blue power emanated from the shield, and the knight leapt backwards, once more taking out a second skeleton trying to pass by. It used a pickaxe to block the slash, but the knight was already moving past and repositioning. A harsh guttural command came from her and the dead skeleton she'd just eliminated shuddered on the ground. A soul-like image rose from it, looking more like a wraith of some kind. It lunged out and yanked at a passing skeleton, dragging it down into the ground.

Wade stared at the knight.

Identify.

Level 25 Moonwing Elf - 100%

Elf? There were elves in this world? Of course there were elves in this world. And not the tiny santa claus elves, no - the full tolkien variation, with longer ears reaching the top of her head.

Now that he got a better look at her, he could see them clearly. Although he swore he saw brown tuffs of feathers growing from the sides of her cheek. And the streaks of blue on her blond hair were... longer feathers poking out of her hair. Like a crest mixed into the ponytail, a few too short to get wrapped in the hair tie.

The elf went on to cut down two more skeletons, using that strange magic to force their souls back to the world, where they became a living barrier to the rest of the army shuffling behind.

Press gang ganged: 4/62

"Alhaleno nadra! NADRA!" She yelled out, absolutely frustrated, staring daggers at him. It hadn't been english.

He blinked.

"Stop GAWKING human! Goddess, move you idiot! Ladder, now! Cursed, stupid, slow-thinking mouthbreathers. LADDER."

It wasn't outright swearing but it was all said in an incredibly crass intonation and Wade just… understood the implication of that. ANd half the insult was all in the ears wagging violently up and down as if trying to scratch an itch. A moment later, he decided she was right, because the skeletons were filtering past her and about to dive bomb the ladder in the next two seconds.

He turned and raced up. A hand grabbed his ankle two seconds later and he could feel the lack of skin on it.

Sheer panic shot through him right as he pulled himself with his right hand. The arm undulated under the fabric, then his pull outright threw him a few rungs upwards, near to the very top, ripping the skeleton's grip off his ankle.

The power caught him by surprise, causing him to slip his grip on the handle.

He started falling backwards, hands fumbling for the out of reach rungs. "Fuuu—"

A massive bear-sized hand shot out from over the top of the lip, grabbed his shirt, and yanked him straight up.

"Careful friend. Skipping ladder steps good gamble, but dangerous."

Russian. Very much heavy Russian accent. The bear man further lifted him up, and then dropped him back on the ground, a hand patting off dust from Wade's shoulder, as if telling him everything was going to be okay.

"AND NEXT TIME TRY MOVING YOUR ASS INSTEAD OF ADMIRING HERS!"

That came from the girl. The one with the light, Wade looked down and saw her. Grey pajamas, and matching sweatpants, along with a whole lot of metal hilts stuck by the beltline, and more stuffed inside an old dusty leather backpack of sorts. Beady black sleep deprived eyes, with unkempt hair and a glare that could kill. She wasn't happy with him. And she had a sledgehammer in her hands.

The man who'd pulled him up from the ladder tousled her hair with one bear-sized hand, while she passed him that sledgehammer. It took her two hands to hold, but he made it look like a woodcrafting hammer. "He safe now. Is okay."

For the Russian, Wade would bet his wallet that this man used small dumpsters for gym weights. No pajamas at all except for brown shorts, leaving his chest exposed. Blue eyes, broken nose, shaved blond short hair. Standing next to him, the Scottish girl looked downright tiny. Hell, even Wade felt small, and he was already taller than most people he'd met.

"Glad you make it alive out of city." That giant mitt of a hand patted Wade's head next as the Russian made his way to the ladder.

"Oi!" The girl barked, "Introductions after we're done with night of the living dead, understand?"

He chuckled in apology to Wade, "No worry friend, smoll angry girl always angry."

The Scottish girl rolled her eyes and turned to Wade. "The big oaf guards the ladder, and we make it rain until knife ears gets up here safely. Got it?"

"Uh, bless you?" Wade had no idea what she'd said, the Scottish accent was so thick it sounded more like an incantation.

A rock was slapped down into his palm. "Chuck it down. Y'ken?" She waved a hand and a dagger of pure metal appeared in it, then threw it into the melee with pinpoint precision. Impressively good precision. It sunk into a skeleton's legbone, breaking it off and hobbling the target. Three bullseye circles flashed inwardly on the skeleton for a short second. Then a flash of blue magic shot from the elf's spear, jabbed directly at the downed skeleton in between a duck and shield block.

Press gang ganged: 5/62

The magical hit ripped through the skeleton and finished it off.

The scott didn't focus fire, instead she was aiming to cripple as many as she could get to. If the elf had a clear line of sight on a marked target, she'd take the shot before the mark vanished.

Press gang ganged: 6/62

Wade joined the firing line, throwing rocks down at his targets. It didn't seem to do any damage, and his debuff was tickling them again. Fuck. The knives were doing far more damage wise.

"That your ability?" He asked. "Summon daggers and mark something hit?"

"What's it to you, git?"

"If we're going to make it out of here alive, better let me know what we're working with early, right? Maybe we could figure something out together."

"Feck off." She said, hurling another knife down into the skeleton mob.

"She take time to trust." The Russian said, cracking his neck at the ladder edge, lifting the sledgehammer. "Illy, elf might need ideas. Be nice."

The elf was still down there, fighting for her life. The skeletons had isolated the ladder bottom, two already climbing up after, while the rest were fencing her away from getting to it. The captured souls from earlier had been shredded, Wade saw the last of the blue glow fade as another skeleton wrestled out of it's grasp.

Despite her level, she hadn't managed to get a clean enough shot to break another marked target. One was exposed and she lunged her spear at him, ripping the joint on his leg apart, but the rest dogpiled after her, forcing her to back away and turtle behind her shield.

Once more the red circles marked out the skeleton the Scott threw at, and vanished after a few seconds. But the elf was too overwhelmed to capitalize on it. At least the knife throws hobbled their target, breaking through the kneecap, reducing the overload by one.

"Blyat." The Russian hissed next to Wade, looking down the ladder. "Okay, they getting in range now. I deal with. Pinch!"

The Scottish girl turned to him, reached a hand out and pinched the side of his stomach.

The giant nodded, lifted his pilfered sledgehammer then swung down past the lip of the ladder, beyond Wade's sight. A skeleton flew off the rungs, the health bar going down by 18%, getting tossed way further than it had any right to.

"Illy, you tell new guy abilities yet?" The giant Russian said, jabbing the sledgehammer down like a spear at the next skeleton trying to climb up.

The girl only growled under her breath, clearly not liking the idea, but also knowing she really should be cooperative. Wade had no idea why they were being so obstinate.

"Is okay, I can explain for you. Is hard being Scottish, no one understand you."

"Oh feck off, fine! But he starts first." Illy said, reaching to the Russian's stomach and pinching him again. He nodded and continued his work at the ladder, his next hit swung like a golfclub, tossing another skeleton far off.

"All right, I can go first." Wade ran the numbers and decided if this was some kind of PvP game, making allies early on was infinitely more useful than keeping his cards to himself. "If I jump while attacking with a ranged weapon, the hit causes a damage over time. Not a very strong one, but I've made it work."

"How strong are we talking?" She asked.

"Uhh, still working on that. Have weird data on it." It had done pitiful damage to the boss skeleton, but earlier he'd killed a skeleton flat out with one hit. Right now, the debuff wasn't doing anything against this amount of skeletons.

"My boon simple," The Russian said. "If I take damage, I do more on next hit. Plus knockback."

"Any amount of damage, mind you." Illy the Scottish girl said, once again pinching his side before turning back to the knife throwing. "Even if it's under 1 hit point."

So that's what the pinching was for. "And you?"

"Summon up to twenty daggers, twenty second cooldown. First time they shank any target, next attack that hits deals extra damage. Made for dagger stabbing over and over, but works when thrown too and don't say a lick about the next hit being from the same dagger."

"How much extra are we talking about?"

"Dunno, doesn't say. Just 'greatly increased damage.' on the fecking description. It's shite for Leon and I since we don't do enough damage, but lets the knife-ears one-shot them with any glancing hit."

Wade ran the calculations in his head, tossing down one more rock. He should go for the easy wins first. The Russian's boon might have good synergy if it worked as Wade thought it might. "Any damage he takes right? From any sources?"

"Da. Any outside source of damage." The man said, his next hit colliding against the skeleton, forcing it to the side for a moment, before it continued up. The followup swing broke it's wrist, and the third hit after knocked it off the ladder.

"And if you had that buff of yours active all the time? Say once a second?"

The Russian laughed, waving down at the ladder. "Would be great, but each pinch smoll angry girl do is time she not aiming dagger. I call when it bad enough I need pinch, or when she not busy. If things get bad, maybe ask you to be on pinching duty."

"I've got a better idea." Wade said, then picked up a small pebble. "You don't mind if this stings a bit?"

If his debuff was already doing pitiful amounts of damage on a chunky sized rock, then how much insignificant amount of damage would it do on a pebble?

"What are you blabbering about you bampot?" The Scott said, launching another dagger down at a skeleton about to lunge for the elf. It hit through the leg, made it stumble down, and the follow-up spear sliced through a partial point of it's skull. It killed the target outright.

Press gang ganged: 7/62

"I think… I think my damage over time is based on how much damage my initial hit does." Wade said, coming up with his plan on the spot. "If I hit hard, it does a lot of damage each second after. But if it's a weak hit, weak damage. I can hit you with a pebble, then it does damage to you every second."

The Russian stayed quiet for only a moment. "Eh, worth try, da? Hit me with pebble."

Wade did exactly that, taking a small pebble off the ground and launching it with a tiny hop at the Russian, aiming for low damage. It hit his chest, dealing nothing to the man's health bar.

Except the debuff icon did pop up on the side.

The Russian swung his sledgehammer, knocking another skeleton off the rungs, using up his buff from the initial pebble hit. He lifted the hammer up for a follow-up on the next skeleton, preparing for another three-hit combo to clear that one off. Then he froze in place, eyes widening. "Blyat, it work!"

The sledgehammer swung down skeleton. It's health chunked by eleven percent and then was forcefully evicted from the ladder rung with extreme prejudice - from only one hit.

The man started laughing, taking pauses in between swings to breath, now that each hit would evict.

The elf on her part had realized getting to the ladder was functionally impossible at this point, and staying on open ground was a fool's plan. She changed gears on the fly, rushing to the wallside, then jumped the moment a knife throw crippled a skeleton and cleared a small window of space.

Wade saw wings on her back spread out. Not real wings, astral looking transparent wings in blue that appeared behind her. They rose and flapped down hard once, lifting the elf further up and over the railing, like a long vertical double jump. She landed in a roll right by them, breathing heavily, wings vanishing long before her feet hit the ground.

That was definitely magic. They had a magic user on the team here. Wade's head was still catching up on the implications of that.

The skeletons on their end hadn't given up. More were trying to climb up the ladder, but the giant Russian at the frontline kept swatting them off with each swing of the sledgehammer, all smiles now. "We hold ground here!" He said, "Is good chokepoint! Keep debuff on me!"

Identify.

Level 2 Player - 91%

He did exactly as the Russian asked, tossing a small pebble at him, knowing it would refresh the debuff. "It lasts ten seconds, call out when you need a refresh!" Wade said, turning back to the giant horde under.

He grabbed another rock near his feet, and lobbed it downwards with a small jump, where it clinked off a skeleton's helmet, still dealing negligible damage.

No dice. None of his hits did anything. What was the difference? When he'd chucked the lantern it had destroyed one of these in one hit.

Maybe it really was just that the lanter was heavier or had something about it that did more initial damage? Would Illy's dagger debuff help offset his weak hit, or should he put that floating point he had into strength?

The elf was standing back up, jogging up to the ladder, already taking position with shield and spear in case any of the skeletons managed to make it past the Russian. She looked winded, tired, and was steadily cursing under her breath, all of it in that alien language that Wade could understand. Although so far, with each swing the Russian was clearing the ladder off. They weren't climbing faster than he could knock them, letting her catch her breath.

The skeletons weren't giving up. More had pooled out of the cavern entrance he'd come from, racing after the others to reach the walls. It was too steep for them to climb by hand, leaving the ladder the only thing to climb.

"Selena!" The Scott called out, then launched another knife, this time aiming for a skull. It hit the target, once more the red circles highlighting the target. A moment later, a short burst of blue light flew from the elf's spear, jabbed in that direction. It blew the skeleton's ribcage, knocking it's health from one hundred down to thirty.

They continued working together, Wade kept the giant's debuff running on as low damage as he could do, all the while mulling over what he could improve.

The lantern had done huge damage, while the rocks so far hadn't. Was it just the lantern itself? Or… the arm.

His arm, bitten by the blackrot weasel earlier and infected somehow. It had increased his strength twice so far, the ladder and the lantern. Both times when he'd been under huge panic and stress. Could he get it to work on command instead?

He dropped down on his knees, looking around the ground until he found a good enough sized rock, and gripped it hard specifically in his right hand. Begging that the arm would do what it had done prior. Please, just work.

He ran back to the horde beyond. Then focused on that arm, jumped high and wound the arm back. It remained normal at the apex of his jump, just as he began to throw the rock down.

Then it undulated as if made of liquid.

Wade spiked the rock like a professional volleyball player and it blasted straight through a helmet, crushing it in half, breaking the skull under it, then down into the chest at an angle.

Level 10 Undead Nathir Slave - 66%

The bar rammed downwards one third of the way. The red debuff icon appeared next to it. The skeleton wobbled in the crowd, a second passed.

It's health dropped down again, significantly. And again.

Level 10 Undead Nathir Slave - 42%

Both the Scottish girl, and the elf turned a look at him.

"Well shite. The wanker's actually doing damage!" The Scott slapped his back, laughing, then readied her next dagger.

The Russian was still busy slapping more skeletons off the ladder, humming happily to himself like he was playing the world's most morbid version of golf. His hits were doing ten to twenty percent of health, but the knockback was doing the real work.

Wade didn't wait for results, instead he was already grabbing the next rock laying around, coming back to the ladder a moment later.

He launched another jumping attack with his fist-sized stone, this time aimed right at the skeleton trying to climb up into sledgehammer range.

Again the right arm functioned like it was empowered by a demon. The rock flew straight through the lead skeleton's ribcage, breaking it apart in one messy explosion of bone. It fell away in smaller chunks.

Luck triggered: Critical Hit!

Press gang ganged: 8/62

---- Chapter 12 ----
​

"Don't wanna ask what kind of one-armed workout you do at night, but it's working." The Scott said, cackling. "You musta paid for some of that premium stuff on the web."

"Get your head out of the gutter. The only thing I pay premium for is aleve or ibuprofen - and store brand only. Everything else is either free, ramen, or it doesn't exist." Wade said, rolling his eyes. "But I think we can do more here. Hit a target with your dagger, and let me follow-up instead of the elf."

Wade had a theory.

In an old game he'd played, an obscure warrior-only quest rewarded an item that had an activatable one-minute weak heal over time effect. Warriors couldn't heal, so the devs left the healing spell itself at default scaling.

Huge mistake.

Tanks would equip an entire heal-boosting gearset, trigger the item, then swap back to their normal equipment before rushing into combat. The game engine would take a snapshot of their stats on activation, see a ridiculous amount of +healing, and apply it to all future ticks of healing. It didn't care if the gear was replaced right after that initial trigger.

The result? For that one glorious minute, warriors could be practically immortal.

What if the same happened with the debuff Wade could apply? The damage scaled off only the damage of the first hit. Illy's mark buff would be taken in the snapshot of that first hit, effectively re-applying it to every single tick of damage that came after.

This could be the nastiest combo possible if the math mathed.

"I'll try, but I don't speak gibbly gawk elvish." Illy said, looking over at the elf.

"You don't speak english either, but you're making it work."

"Up yours, yank." She turned to the elf next, tapping her spear before pointing a few times at Wade. "Hold off, got that knife ears? Hold. Off."

The elf yanked her spear away, gave Wade a glance, then nodded to him.

"Think we got the message across. Leon grab her spear if she tries to aim anyhow. Right Mr. Premium Ibprofen, let's see what you're cooking up." Illy said, coming up next to him. She pointed a finger at a closer skeleton at the bottom. "That one."

Identify.

Level 15 Undead Nathir Slave - 100%

Higher level than average. A real test then. Her knife flew straight into its skull. And a moment later, a rock slammed through it.

Level 15 Undead Nathir Slave - 42%

"Nasty hit, like the elf's magic. Only costs a rock though, cheap." Illy said, nodding approvingly.

"Wait for it." Wade said.

The skeleton flailed around on the ground, stunned from the earlier hit.

A second passed.

Then the first tick went down.

Level 15 Undead Nathir Slave - 12%

"Holy shite."

Wade lifted a hand. "Still more." There was still nine seconds to go for the debuff.

The skeleton got back up onto it's legs, looked up at them, and instantly folded onto itself, bones breaking apart as the health bar hit 0 on the second tick of damage.

"Okay. That settles that." The Scott said, she turned and started looking for new rocks to pick up and scurry over to him. "You focus on skeleton bowling, I'll be the spotter."

Wade still had next to no idea what the girl was saying, but from the few words he picked up, he could understand well enough. And she did exactly what she said, taking pot shots at easy to aim for targets, while Wade followed it up with a killshot rock throw. Every few seconds, he'd pick up a pebble, and renew the Russian's debuff, letting him hold the line by the ladder.

The elf quickly got the plan, and saved her magic for the ladder, spear at the ready in case the skeletons managed to rush past the giant.

It didn't happen.

"Ahh shite, I'm tapped out." Illy hissed, having tossed the last knife from her pajama pants. "Can't conjure another bloody dagger for twenty seconds even if me life depended on it - which it bloody well does."

"Should be fine." Wade flicked a pebble at the Russian, before grabbing another rock. "You've got functionally unlimited ammo, and they can't get up here." Twenty seconds times roughly fifty more targets, meant something like fifteen minutes and they'd clear the entire horde. Likely add another five minutes, his mental math wasn't perfect. "We can whittle them down over time so long as we're careful and don't waste rocks. They're too tunnel visioned to look for other ladders."

She looked down at the huge horde desperate to get up to them as if this were a zombie movie. "Aye, still makes me nervous taking our sweet time here."

"Da, but it fun, eh?" Then he turned to look at Wade, now taking the moment to actually study the new arrival. "Hmm, new friend need some nourishment. He have dark bag under eye. Also he twig sized. Felt bony when pulled up earlier. Very scrawny." He took a pause, then jabbed the hammer down, knocking another skeleton, before turning back to Wade. "He need carb and protein to fatten up. Water too."

"I don't think water's going to cure my lack of sleep hours." Wade had survived for the past few years now on under six hours of sleep on average. He was pretty sure those dark bags under his eyes were permanent now. "Also, is this really the time?"

"Is sign of dehydration, not lack of sleep." The giant swung the sledgehammer down again, launching another target. "Hmm, ah! Soup. Yes, that's what you need my friend."

A skeleton grabbed the sledgehammer right after the Russian bowled off the earlier one, and he yanked the enemy up like a fish, finding this to be an excellent time for a lesson.

His free hand went straight for the skull, manhandling the surprised target then bashing it hard on the side of the rock faster than Wade could blink. The move looked extremely practiced.

"You see, frontal bone in skull is very hard, no good. Skeleton still moving." He lifted the skeleton back up with one hand, it struggled in his grip and he shifted his handle on it, two fingers digging into the eye sockets. "But pterion bone on back here? Is thinnest part, very weak. Best place to hit."

He slammed its skull a second time on the wallside, and now it was properly jarred and unresponsive, weapon slipping from it's hand, cracks forming up from the back of the head. "See? Concussed."

With the Russian and the elf at the lip of the ladder for the past five minutes now, ready to wall off any skeleton that got past Wade, he and the Scottish girl had been steadily whittling them down and talking the shit in between. The downtime of twenty seconds in between their kills had been cooling things off immensely.

The Russian tossed the stunned skeleton up and swung the sledgehammer like a bat, knocking it off the wall. "Makes followup hit easy." Then he returned to the ladder, dealing with the next client. "Wait. I only realize now, we not introduced yet! Hah, how rude of me. I am Leon, is nice meeting you…?"

"Michael Wade," He said, nailing another skeleton. "But prefer to be called just Wade. Nickname since high school. And the girl's name is Illy? Think I also heard the elf getting called Selena?"

"Got it right." Illy said, aiming the knife, throwing it with precision. She always picked targets well in range of Wade, made hitting them as easy as hitting fish already nailed down in a barrel. "But you call me smoll angry girl, and I'll bite the shite out of you. Leon's the exception. I ain't dumb enough to start a row with him."

"And the elf?"

"Knife ears don't speak a lick of english. Been stuck playing charades with her since we found her. Only got as far as names. The rest is just pointing and hoping for the best. We made it work." Illy waited another second, then summoned a dagger and took aim.

The elf could hear they were saying her name, but other then a small upset frown and twitching ears or puffed up feathers, she stayed quiet, eyes glued on the ladder.

"So how'd you meet?" He asked.

"Wouldn't you just love to know that, you wee shite-stirrer? How's about you tell us why we should trust some radge we just found dragging a horde right into us?"

"I'm literally right here side by side to help fight them off, aren't I?" He tossed a rock up and down a few times, then took aim. "And I'm stuck in this hellhole too, we should all be working together to get out."

She gave a few sardonic Ha's in between a knife throw. "Cheers for the help with these gommies, but you're the wanker who led them right to us, so don't go acting like you did us any favors besides help clean up your own mess." She lifted her hand palm up and one of her knives appeared, to which she waggled in his direction. He could tell she didn't have any intention to throw it at him. "And second, how do I know you're not gonna turn on us like those other roasters out there the moment I tell you sensitive information?"

The knife flew down and stabbed a skeleton. Wade walked up, aimed a rock, and did his beloved jumping attack bullshit.

Press gang ganged: 16/62

This boon thing was really growing on him.

He dusted his hands off and turned to the Scott. "Turn on you? Seriously? After all this fun, I thought we had something already. I feel so used."

"All we got is a whole lot of calcium to deal with, you fat turnip." She answered back, arms crossed.

"All I'm asking is how an honest to god fantasy elf ended up with the two of you. Like, look at her. She's a straight knight with magic."

She really did fit the vibe to an almost stereotypical way. Minus the feathers on her face, and those growing from her hair. He had no idea if she had feathers elsewhere, since the rest of her was armored up with exception to her head. All she had there was a tiara. And the blue soft glow from the etched lines inside made Wade think that item probably protected her face more than a helmet would.

"We find elf in… unique way." Leon said. "Small angry Scottish girl very prickly, is okay, she warm up soon enough. She only spooked right now, ehhh how to say, staying alive, da?"

"You big oaf, I'm trying to keep you alive." The scot said, tapping him a few times before giving him a pinch. "If you trust every single bampot that walks out the walls with a horde of skeletons behind him, one of them's gonna get you got eventually. You need to be more paranoid out here. For feck's sake."

"But he look so thin and scrawny, he not hurt a fly."

"Hey, have you seen what I can do with a rock?" Wade protested, waving one over.

Leon looked him over. "Okay, fair. We feed him soup first, then check later if backstabbing happen, da?"

Illy didn't laugh at that, "This ain't no joke. The bastards out here will do you in if you so much as blink wrong. Or did you already forget the past hour? We don't know who else is with this yank, or what he's done with them."

"Why not we asking him then?" Leon shrugged, turning to Wade. "You have friends here caught?"

"Only have two friends in the world, and they're both not here with me." Wade said. Maybe something in his voice came through, but both Leon and Illy went quiet at this.

"Oh. Shite. Sorry to bring up that kind of memory." Illy said. "All this caught us all by surprise too."

Wade nodded, not realizing the other two had gotten a different impression. Instead, he focused on following the routine right now. The general silence in the group along with everyone having a role to play helped calm him down, despite the situation. And, as always, his head began to ruminate on older times. Better times.

----

Wade set the last box down and looked around their tiny new place. Their own place. Not quite the old and sold family home, and they were renting it out so it wasn't going to be forever - but it was theirs. One bedroom. One bath. And one living room with kitchen. And one hundred percent theirs.

And so long as they both continued to work part time jobs while studying in college, he and Ann would be able to keep living here without problem.
On her end, she was already unwrapping something behind her back with a mischievous grin as the last cardboard box was moved in."Okay, before we get all sentimental, I got us a housewarming gift. Mostly for you, since you did the heavy lifting for the deposit and first few months of rent." She said.
"You're the one who even found and negotiated this deal." Wade reached a hand out to tossle her red hair, messing it up. She immediately jumped back and screeched about how hard her hair was to maintain. Then unveiled her gift, holding it out like a charm to protect her from evil.

It was a coffee mug. Wade read the text and snorted. "'World's Okayest Employee.' Go get bent, you heartless witch."

"Accuracy is important," Ann shot back, flopping onto their only piece of furniture setup so far, a secondhand couch that had seen better decades. "Besides, Jason, tell him what you think of his customer service voice."

Jason laughed from the doorway. "Dude, you sound like a serial killer trying to sell insurance. 'Have a great day, sir.' It's terrifying."

"I'm number one in the customer survey reports and I'm the one getting the most per hour," Wade said, but he was grinning as he set the mug on their makeshift kitchen counter. "Speaking of gifts..." He pulled out a small wrapped package, then handed it over to Jason. "For you and your mom. Just a little thank you for, you know, not letting us die on the streets after we got chased out. And a reminder on how we infested your living room like bedbugs for that many months."

"Yeah, thanks for not calling the exterminators." Ann said, already bouncing on the couch. She'd spent the last twenty minutes decontaminating it, and was now enjoying the fruits of her labor. "Pesticides would have ruined my skincare."

Jason unwrapped the thin paper to reveal a keychain with a tiny plastic couch. "You have got to be kidding me. Wade, you little shit."

Ann raced over from the couch, "Wait, let me see it. Let me se-" It had small lettering on the bottom. 'Home is where the couch is.' She rolled her eyes at that. "Oh. My. God. You're so stupid it hurts." But she was smiling when she said it.

"Sure but at least it's not our backs hurting anymore. Sorry Jason, your couch was killing me anytime it was my turn on it. I think the futon was unironically more comfortable to sleep on. Only reason I kept taking turns is because we both know what would happen if we let Ann actually settle in anywhere. That couch would have become her territory."

"That does remind me," Ann said, strutting back inside the room, jumping on their 'new' couch. "You can keep the bedroom Michael, this side of the living room is now Annabell Wade Territory. I have a plan for this space. Plans."

She had done exactly that in the end. Despite her focus on architecture and civil engineering, Wade figured she could have had an equally successful career as an interior decorator. Shogi screens were soon setup to divide the living room so she could have her own private mini-bedroom, and interior tarps hanging from the ceilings above her area along with string lights and artwork making her entire space feel like walking into a completely different world. She'd taken some time to save up from her own part time jobs in addition to her part of rent, but once Annabell Wade set her mind to something, it would get done.

They had just started community college, gotten free of their family and the world seemed filled with a future, so long as they worked hard enough for it.

At least, before everything went to shit.

Was still going to shit.

He couldn't tell if fighting off skeletons was better than fighting off debt collectors by himself.

You really should get more friends. Ann's words floated in his head. Quit being so lame, or do you want me to drag you out to a concert by the ear?

He really could use more friends right about now, especially in a life or death situation like this. And if there was magic in this world that could heal anything, he had to live long enough to get to it. Which meant getting with a team to improve his chances. How'd these two get even a local to show up in the first place? He took a look at her as he ferried over his next set of ammunition.

The elf remained ready, almost meditating. Haunty, regal, not even a sign of any fatigue despite the earlier fight. How did they manage this? "Oh, I get it. For the elf. You found an advantage with the game system that ended up with her here helping out? And since I'm another player, I could be competition."

Leon gave a helpless shrug, confirming Wade's suspicion they all had the same PvP quest. "We have, shall we say, mixed results with others out here. Not everyone playing nice, eh? Smoll girl maybe have point."

The Scott turned her glare to Leon next, looking outright betrayed. "Oh so you CAN understand me when you want huh? What happened to not understanding smoll angry girl, you oaf?"

Leon stabbed with his sledgehammer down, like he were knocking snow off a roof. A skeleton was blasted downwards, bowling through his fellows and reset the entire ladder. Then he looked up to Wade, and put a hand by his ear as if trying to hear something far off. "Ehh, mister Wade. You understand what smoll devushka just say?"

"Ohhhh I'm gonna bite the shite out of you next chance I get." Then those angry little eyes widened, and she turned to look over Wade more critically. "Wait a tick, LEON, I don't think this numpty was with us at the start, aye? Second look at him, I'm sure of it. He ain't part of the original group."

"Part of the group? You started with others?"

Goddamnit Play. That asshole really had sent Wade into the deep end alone while everyone else got a starting party.

He was going to strangle that motherfucker the moment he had a chance.

"Da, big group of twenty two. It not last." Then the man frowned. "And we may have… little problem."

The problem was not little.

The problem was that the skeletons finally wised up.

Like a dumb kids all trying to reach the cookie jar for five minutes before realizing chairs exist.

And the four of them were the cookie.