Fertile Valley 11-13! (Patreon)

11 The Funeral

The next morning I woke up on the couch with a trio of pixies in my pants and Apple inviting herself to sit on my face yet again. By that point, acceptance for this part of my fate had already settled in, so I uttered no complaint as they more or less took what they wanted from me and I just kind of lazed there, participating enthusiastically but very much submissively on my back.

When they finally left, I had to admit, I felt invigorated. Aside from that general impression, I also was grateful to have some of my libido drained so that I could think more readily with my heart and head as I interacted with the town’s various bachelorettes. 

Previous Pete—maybe City Pete or Prodigal Pete as the people in town apparently liked to call me—would certainly be at war with his own virility if he’d met Missy and Darlene just a few days ago in the situations he did yesterday. Now, though? Country Pete was here, and he was singularly focused.

I woke up wearing a T-shirt from the Jimmy’s Sporting Goods store in Max City. Jimmy was actually an old pal, but I had no fucking clue when or how I ended up with this T-shirt. I was also wearing a pair of baggy basketball shorts, and my hair was in quite a disarray. I didn’t even need to look into the mirror to know that much.

For a moment I thought I’d get to rest a bit longer until Fierce Boy trotted up to my side to remind me that I had a dog. I patted him on the head a few times and used some of that amazing core strength of mine to force myself to sit up, groaning like it physically hurt.

I took him for a walk, leaving the house around six in the morning. We were only halfway across the street when Missy spotted us, calling out my name shockingly loudly for it being so damn early. It would have been far less shocking, too, if she weren’t doing a headstand at the time.

“City Pete!” she shouted, springing back onto her feet and standing. She was wearing navy blue gym shorts and a matching sports bra, her toned midriff on full display as she raced down the sidewalk to catch up to me. “City Pete, good morning!”

Those red hearts were still there. I had to stop paying attention to that. It was just so easy to notice. “Hey, morning, Missy,” I said, beaming at her as Fierce sat down and waited for her to give him scritches. She knelt down in front of him and complied with his expectations, which did make me like her a bit more. She was a dog person. Very respectable.

“Hey Fiercey-Babe,” she cooed, “Muah muah muah!” She peppered him with a bunch of kisses, and I noted with a laugh that he clearly appreciated it based on the vigorous wagging of his tail. Missy looked up at me and grinned. “What a coincidence, catching you like this.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Thanks for the cookies last night, by the way. I shared them with Kylie Ann and we loved them.”

Her eyes lit up. “Oh, I’m so glad!” She stood up. Her hands folded over her chest and she rocked a little on her heels like something unbalanced her for a moment. “I’ll bake some more for you later, then!”

I blinked. “That’s not really necessary,” I said. “I’m sure there’ll be plenty of opportunities to sample your culinary skills over the years, but I don’t want to inconvenience you with baking me cookies every single day.”

“Nonsense,” she said, her eyes wide like she was watching a big catch snap her fishing line. “No, no, Pete, it’s totally fine! I—I bake just about every day!”

I cocked my head. “Do you?”

“Yeah!”

“For who?”

She shifted a little onto the other hip. “Friends.” I was obviously catching her in a fib. Lots of those going around.

“Well, you can keep doing that for them, then,” I laughed. “I don’t want to deprive your friends of their daily delivery.”

She giggled, apparently ready to let it go, much to my relief. “Do you need company on your walk?”

I shook my head. “Nah, Fierce and I are pretty independent. I was just going to head up to the farm and back. We’ve got the funeral later this morning so I wanted to give him a good workout because it sounds like I’ll be pretty occupied for a while afterwards.”

“Right, right,” she agreed, nodding. “Listening to lawyers and stuff, I guess.”

I couldn’t contain a frown. “Yeah. Probably.”

“Do you have my number?”

The question caught me off guard. “Uh. No, I don’t think so.”

“Well, you might as well get it since we’re locals together now,” she said. “Here, give me your phone. Here’s mine. Let’s swap!” She winked at me, which I had a bit of a weak spot for. What straight guy didn’t like a cute girl winking at him? I submit to you that there is no such man.

I handed the phone to her obediently, not really seeing a reason why I shouldn’t. She gave me hers, and we took a moment to exchange numbers. When she handed her phone back to me, I saw that she put a little heart next to her name. I made a mental note to delete the heart later. I imagined a world in which Queenie caught her calling me and saw it. It just seemed like an extra layer of tension that I didn’t need.

“Thanks,” I said.

“Call me when you’re done with all the signing and lawyer stuff tonight,” she told me, not really making it an option. “We can get something to drink if you don’t have any plans.”

I smiled politely. “We’ll see. I’ll probably crash early, but we’ll definitely get that drink one of these days.”

Her smile faltered for a minute, replaced momentarily by something fleeting but very tense. “Oh. Yeah, okay,” she said, forcing another grin. “Sure.”

“See ya,” I said, waving at her.

She grinned and nodded, but kept following me anyway for a couple more blocks, though I could tell she thought she was being sneaky about it.

I managed to break away from her after that, though she definitely was open to clinging to me all morning if I let her. She was giving me borderline stalker vibes at this point, but that probably wasn’t fair to her. Missy was just a lonely girl seizing her chance—and honestly, I was perfectly capable of giving her exactly the kind of life she was after.

Fierce and I completed our walk in about forty minutes, which could have been longer but seemed enough for now. I had to feed him after all. As we headed back to the Luna residence, I couldn’t help but recall that Liz Luna never came home the previous night. Was that normal? Seemed weird, but Queenie and Kylie Ann never once commented on it. I decided to keep my curiosity to myself for now. It was probably when she was ‘receiving the Goddess’s word’ or however she put it.

As I opened the door and walked inside, my phone buzzed to life with a flurry of text messages. My brow creased as I squinted to see just who it was and what they wanted. I felt a slight pit form in my stomach at what I saw.

> The valley looks really beautiful at this time in the morning, doesn’t it?

It was a text from Missy Sanford, already abusing her access to my number with a dozen cute selfies of her in various poses with a view of the verdant landscape behind her. This felt a little like a red flag. 

Previous Pete would definitely not be able to help himself. He’d seize this chance and absolutely pick up what she was putting down. It would have gotten even harder for him to behave when I got the next text and its accompanying photo. The selfie was a closeup of her face as she licked her perfectly kissable lips. The caption was short and to the point.

> Let’s hang out soon. (eggplant emoji) (kitty emoji)

Country Pete—Current Pete—he harbored more complicated feelings about the situation. “The poor girl,” I muttered sympathetically. She clearly lacked dating experience and social cues when it came to boys—something that could easily happen to a deprived pretty girl in a small town without many options—then again, she did go to a small country college. 

Still, the messages felt clingy and kind of weird but I could see through them for what they probably were: a desperate plea for attention and belonging. Also, major daddy issues. If I recalled correctly, her father literally pulled the “Going out to buy some milk” thing when she was in her early teens. Poor girl.

Queenie greeted me at the door. “Come on in,” she said. “Better eat up that breakfast as soon as possible and deal with it so you won’t have to take a shit in the middle of the funeral.”

The crass joke caught me off guard, making me laugh. I looked around for our daughter instinctively. She wasn’t around. “Where’s Kylie Ann?” I asked, slipping my phone into my pocket.

“You can wake her. Knock on the door just in case, though. I’ll feed Fierce Boy. Here boy! Come get some breakfast!”

I smiled at them both and headed down the hall to her room. I knocked, just as I was told. “Hey kiddo,” I said. “Time to get up.”

“Okay. Five more minutes.”

I smiled and walked away from the door, heading into the kitchen where Queenie was already plating a waffle breakfast. “She said five more minutes.”

“Hell no. I can tell you’re new to the parenting thing. Wake that little gremlin up right now,” Queenie growled. “Five more minutes means thirty more minutes.”

“Oh,” I noted with a chuckle. “Sure. That’s good info.”

I headed back to the door and knocked on it again. “Sorry, kiddo, your mom says I need to ask you to wake up now.”

No response.

“I’m coming in, Kylie Ann,” I said. I pushed the door open to her girly room and walked across to her bed. “Time to get up.”

She shoved a teddy bear in my face like it was some kind of peace offering, but then wiggled it and spoke in an even higher voice. “Kylie Ann is sleeping now, Mister Pete. Five more minutes, please.”

“Do you want me to ask your mother to wake you up?” I offered. “I don’t think she’ll be in the best mood if I come out of here again without you.”

The little girl finally dropped the bear, wiped her eyes, and yawned, sitting up slowly. She gave me a slightly annoyed look. “You’re a meanie-head.”

“Sorry,” I muttered a bit anxiously, fearing I was already burning my bridges with her. “I’m just trying to help your mom out.”

She smirked with her eyes still closed as she rolled onto her back. “Alright. Just give me five minutes to get dressed and I’ll—”

“Come out in your PJs,” I told her. “Your mom’s got food on the table by now. Waffles.”

Her eyes widened. “Why didn’t you just say so?!”

We ate our breakfast, cleaned up, and got dressed over the course of the next couple of hours. The morning went by in a daze, and Liz Luna never came back, so far as I could tell. Eventually, the time to depart for the funeral had come.

I wore the one nice shirt and tie combo that I had. Well—the shirt was nice. The tie was black and white polka-dotted. It fit the color scheme a funeral demanded, but it was a bit tacky. Queenie didn’t comment on it, but she certainly made a face when she saw me put it on.

When we got to Bountiful Harvest Church, we waited a while in our pews as the seats all gradually filled with people. It was my first time inside the Mineral Village church. It was pretty plain and nondescript, all things considered, and if you were Christian you’d assume it was simply nondenominational. There were no idols on public display, but there was an altar at the front, and the general design of the interior looked pretty standard for a country church aside from the absence of murals and statues.

To my surprise, Liz Luna came out of the rectory in a white robe—something she must have put on, because she was out here earlier in relatively typical formalwear. My grandfather’s casket lay in front of the altar, closed. That detail, along with the fact that it seemed like the service was about to start, also had me wondering something else. I leaned into Queenie’s shoulder. “Wait—is there no wake? Do we get to see the body?”

“Your grandfather’s body was already burned in a small canoe on an offshoot of the river,” Queenie whispered back. “It’s our tradition to do so immediately after someone is declared dead, unless there is an uncertain cause of death. I have to ask—is it weird seeing everyone?”

Weird? That? It was way fucking weirder hearing my grandpa got a viking funeral days before this one. I looked around the church. Everyone I remembered from the town and even a few faces I didn’t know were present. Missy and Darlene were sitting with Darlene’s brother Dale and a woman I assumed to be his wife two rows in front of us. The population in this town was seriously aging—most of the people in the church were fifty or older. There were only a handful of kids. Maybe twelve people around my age, most of them women.

The one thing I did have to note was that just about everyone in this church, from the young to the very old, was surprisingly good-looking. I might not have noticed it as a kid, but since I was now on the lookout for magical bullshit, I definitely took note of it today. I leaned in to Queenie and whispered as organ music started playing. “Why is everyone in this town so hot?”

She giggled. “It’s just the way things are. Some of us aren’t exactly as we appear, either.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked with a quiet laugh.

“You’ll see. Soon, I imagine.”

The funeral began. Not a lot of people cried right away, but there were faces full of respect and sadness all the same as Liz Luna carried out the ceremony. I hadn’t actually been to a ton of funerals, so I couldn’t say for sure, but this one felt pretty informal. In fact, many of the townsfolk showed up in their work clothes.

When I gathered that the ceremony was coming to a close, Liz Luna called out my name, sending a jolt of shock coursing through me out of nowhere. “Joseph Busch’s grandson, Peter Busch-McGinley, is here with us today. Peter, would you like to say a few words?”

I had actually prepared for this on the drive on the way into town, but so much crazy stuff had happened since then that I honestly couldn’t remember much of what I planned to say. Still—I had to say something. I cleared my throat and walked down the aisle alone, the church suddenly so silent I swore I could hear Missy’s heart beating like a machine gun as I walked past her—but that had to be my imagination.

I stood in front of the lectern and leaned into the mic. “Hello, everyone,” I said, getting a little distortion and feedback at first. I adjusted the mic a bit and drew back. “Sorry. Good morning, everyone. Some of you probably remember me from way back in the day,” I began, looking out at the sea of faces, all of them completely focused on me. “I’m going to take a moment to talk about my grandfather—and then I am going to say some personal things as well…things I think you all deserve to hear me say.”

I smiled at them, hoping it didn’t look too forced. I had the attention of all eyes in the room, that was for sure, except for a platinum blonde in the second row who was leaning on Yvette the pub-owner’s shoulder, apparently fast asleep. That had to be her daughter.

Clearing my throat, I managed to begin. “When I was a kid, Grandpa Joe was my idol. He was exactly the man I wanted to be when I grew up, and I don’t just mean I wanted to be a farmer. He was a good man, a pillar of this community, and every little thing he ever said to me was interesting. I never once heard someone say anything bad about him, except for maybe a remark here or there about the fact that he only used one slice of cheese on the grilled cheese sandwiches he made for Queenie and me.”

To my absolute fucking relief, I got a few laughs from that, and a lot of smiles. Feeling emboldened, I pressed on.

“Anyway, the sad truth is that just about everyone in this room can probably tell me more about my grandfather than I can tell you. And that—that’s my fault. And my greatest mistake in life. I know how hard it is for a small community like this one to see a great man like that pass, and to have his estranged grandson show up out of nowhere for the funeral. I know how it looks. It looks bad.” I cringed inwardly as I saw the looks on their faces start to shift to something more serious. “It looks horrible, but I promise it’s not what it looks like. I can’t replace my grandfather—I could never be the man he was. But I am going to devote the rest of my life to this community and his memory. I’m going to do my best to live a better life than the one I came from and be a positive part of Mineral Village, just like Grandpa Joe.

“I’m sorry I’m hijacking his eulogy to say this. The truth is, there’s so much I’d like to tell you, but I don’t know that my heart could survive saying it all in front of so many people that I’ve become a stranger to after so many absent years. Maybe someday, some of you could sit down with me for a beer at Yvette’s on Main Street and I could get it all off my chest. For now—” My voice broke, and tears flooded my eyes. “Dang it. I’m sorry,” I said, reaching in my pocket to pull out a handkerchief. I wiped my eyes and continued. “For now, please try and find it in your hearts to give me a chance. And maybe tell me a little bit about my grandfather if you ever come by to visit the farm. Open invitations all around,” I said.

I nodded at Liz, who smiled at me, looking pretty emotional herself. I started to walk down the aisle back to my seat. The congregation was quiet and respectful.

Well. Most of them. Dale Copeland burst out of his seat, struggling past his sister who tried to hold him back as she immediately sensed what he was doing, but he was big and she was tiny. I noticed only at the last moment what was going on when his fist was already on a collision course with my face. He slammed his knuckles into me—hard—sending me falling backward. The crowd gasped and people rushed the aisles to hold him back and help me up. I was surprised to find that I wasn’t all that hurt, though—likely because of the Power Fruit I ate, if I had to guess.

Liz’s voice was the one that I heard first above all others. “Dale! You idiot, what are you doing?! This is a funeral!”

“He’s a piece of shit, Mayor Luna!” he said, flailing his finger at me. “He left his last shred of family here to die alone after so many years. The people of this village cared for him, and now he’s come to collect his inheritance. He’ll be gone by sunrise.”

“No, he won’t be,” Liz said, her brows furrowing. “Sit. Dale—everyone. Sit back down. And take that poor boy back to his seat beside my daughter.”

“I can get there on my own,” I grunted, struggling to my feet, but Queenie put an arm around me, escorting me back with a worried look on her face. I caught Missy’s gaze as she walked away from me—a look of fury on hers. I wasn’t sure where the fury was directed to. Queenie for taking me? Dale for punching me? Something else?

Dale stormed out rather than comply, saying nothing else as he kicked the door open and dragged his wife behind him.

“I really fucking hate that guy,” I muttered into Queenie’s ear.

“Now I do, too,” she admitted.

“Me too,” Kylie Ann hissed, and I winced as I realized she overheard me drop the F-bomb. Smiling at me, she tried it out for herself. “I wanna kick his fuckin’ butt.”

“No dessert for you tonight,” Queenie hissed.

“Aww, shi—shoot!”

Liz Luna stood at the lectern and looked out at the crowd. After she took a big breath, her stormy face melted into a softer, more patient one. “My fellow members of this unique community—I realize there are a few of you out there with opinions like our good friend Dale. I can’t regulate your beliefs, but I can tell you what the Harvest Goddess thinks.”

Everyone shifted in their seats to hear this part, including me. Talking about the Harvest Goddess in broad daylight to the whole goddamn community? Was it really like this? I looked around at all the faces and found a lot of them staring at me. They were probably wondering how much I knew.

“The Harvest Goddess chose Pete from birth to save Mineral Village. I’ve known that much for some time. What I’ve only known very recently is exactly how she plans to achieve this. Pete is going to restore the farm—but that's just the start of it. Thanks to his mission, when he succeeds, our village will be safe indefinitely, for as long as his bloodline remains a part of the Fertile Valley.” She turned to look at her daughter, then, I could swear, she also looked at Missy and Darlene specifically. “He will need love and support. He will need to set down roots, to build a large family, to have someone to lean on and confide in. Those of you who are already considering it—do it. Help him. All of you. That is a core part of his mission.”

I felt my anal sphincter tighten as most of the congregation started stealing regular glances at me as she spoke. Queenie also apparently felt emboldened by her mother’s words, because she rested her hand on top of my palm and smiled at me. “Pretty important guy, then?”

“You just believe whatever she says without a doubt?” I whispered.

“Isn’t it true?”

I nodded reluctantly.

“Then of course I believe it.”

The mood in the church was weird as the service ended and people filed out. Loads of them were waiting for me outside, and I greeted them all, shaking their hands and getting reacquainted. 

“Nice eulogy,” one goth girl I wasn’t sure I recognized said. She had a whole spider motif going on and was wearing red colored contacts. She stuck out like a sore thumb due to her unusual aesthetic, but I spotted the woman early on. When I first came in, I saw her before the service whispering with Mayor Luna as the two of them inspected the floral arrangement in front of the empty coffin.

Last of all, Darlene and Missy approached me when Queenie was off talking to her mother.

“I’m so, so sorry about my brother!” Darlene said, reaching to touch my face where he’d punched me. “Oh shit, that’s quite a shiner!”

“It’ll heal fast,” I said, smiling at her. “He didn’t knock any teeth loose, so it could have been worse. I don’t blame you.”

She looked like she’d decided something all of a sudden, her posture straightening. “Well, screw that asshole. Starting tonight, I’m moving onto your farm.”

I blinked. “Huh?!”

“My camper. I’ll move it on the edge of your plot, so if you ever need anything, night or day, you can just let me know. And if my shit-for-brains brother ever comes by to give you sass, I’ll beat the stuffing out of him myself.”

“Where the hell is this coming from?” I asked. “I don’t know if that’s—”

Missy smiled and grabbed my hands. “Liz Luna’s speech—she looked right at me. It’s the least we can do to help save our town.”

I almost shit my pants to hear her insert herself into that arrangement. “Uh. What do you mean?”

She opened her arms and walked into me, hugging me tightly. “I had no clue you were so important, Pete. I’ll still be working the fitness studio in the morning for my mom, but I’m moving into Darlene’s trailer to help you out any way I can.” 

Trying not to wince, I just coughed and struggled to react. “Uhh, that’s not necessary, really,” I grunted.

“Anything you need me to do, I’ll do it. It’d make me so happy to cook, clean, and provide comfort for you as you save our community,” she said. “I feel like this is my calling.”

“But—” I blinked a few times, my voice trailing off. “I’m not sure we need to rush into big life-altering choices like that.”

“Says the city slicker who decided in one night to move out to the middle of nowhere to become a farmer. Come on, Prodigal Pete, you heard Mayor Luna,” Darlene laughed. “If Missy and I change our minds, we’ll just park my camper somewhere else and go back to the way things were.”

Welp, she had a point there. “You really bought all that just on Luna’s word alone, huh?” I said, eyes narrowing.

“Shoot, yeah! If we can’t trust her, who can we trust?” she giggled as she crossed her arms and arched a brow like she was about to levy an accusation against me. “And didn’t you ask me to be your co-conspirator and bosom buddy when I was naked in Mineral Spring yesterday?”

Missy’s eyes nearly popped. “W-what?!”

“It’s not what it sounds like,” I grunted.

“I mean, it’s kind of what it sounds like,” Darlene teased.

“Pete! Pete!” That was Mayor Luna to the rescue, calling me away. “Pete, we need to get the reading of the will settled so you can handle your inheritance. The lawyers estimate it’ll take a couple hours, so we should really get the ball rolling.”

I nodded at her and then looked back at Darlene and Missy. “Just to be clear,” I said, “you’re not going to be barging into my cabin all the time. You’ll stay in your trailer?”

“Oh my Gawd, of course!” Missy said.

“Definitely,” Darlene agreed.

I nodded. “Fine. I guess I can use all the help I can get. But Queenie and Kylie Ann will probably also be around a lot, so don’t be weird if I invite them into my house more often, okay?”

Darlene nodded. “I understand.” She winked at me. I’d already told her about Kylie Ann, so she genuinely did get it. Missy, however, looked surprised to say the least.

“W-why would Queenie and her kid be treated differently?”

My face pruned up with discomfort. “Promise you won’t spread this any further than the three of us?”

Missy nodded, her face blank. “Sure, of course.”

Darlene’s eyes went round as she realized what I was about to do. I made eye contact with her, trying to get a feel for whether she thought it was a good idea or not. She nodded. I decided to go with it.

“Kylie Ann Luna is my daughter,” I whispered.

Missy’s eyes glazed over almost instantly. A weird, forced smile spread on her face. “Oh. I see. Your daughter. Your…your daughter. Queenie…bore your child. That’s why you two have been connected at the hip since you arrived, huh?” Her hands were balled into fists, shaking, and tears were streaming down her face, but she seemed creepily unaware of them. “Your daughter…”

Darlene put a hand on her back and smiled apologetically. “I’ll take her back home to pick up her stuff and we’ll have Big John drag my trailer over to your lot. We won’t bother you, swear to God. Just come knocking if you need something.”

“Uh—sure.”

I went with Mayor Luna, eager to get away from the sheer awkwardness of that exchange. Luna drove me out to the farm—which was really easily walking distance—and escorted me to the front door of my grandpa’s cabin. She smiled. “You alright?” she asked.

I nodded. “I think so.”

“When we finish up here, this will be your farm. Your cabin. Are you ready for that?”

“How much did the Harvest Goddess tell you?” I asked, cutting through the sentimental nonsense. “You seem to know a lot.”

She grinned. “I was up all night receiving her word. She told me everything—including things she hasn’t told you.”

I closed my eyes for a minute, letting the truth of that wash over me. With a nod, I put my hand on the door to the cabin and forced a smile. “Then let’s get this over with.”

12 A New Life

It fucking took four hours, not two. So that was…fun.

However, at the end of it, I was the proud owner of a small thirty-acre farmstead suffering from gross neglect, a cabin with a bad roof that had been gathering cobwebs for months during the time that my grandfather was being cared for at the local clinic, one-point-two million dollars in liquid assets, and…honestly, not much else. Not that the cash was anything to scoff at.

His home had been raided at some point, anything of value stolen in the dead of night from the cabin, the barn, and the carport, save for an aging ATV and a few tools that apparently weren’t worth carting off. It made me sad that I couldn't even find the boxes that probably had old photo albums and items that only held personal value. It felt like, in taking those, the thieves made it that much harder to mourn him, erasing a part of his life.

The thought made me bitterly sad and triggered another wave of self-blame. If I’d been here, watching his house while he was getting treatment, this wouldn’t have happened. As I walked out of the cabin and shook the lawyers’ hands, I felt tears burning themselves into the corners of my eyes. The tears settled there, knowing better than to drip down my cheek in front of others, I guess, but they were there and plain to see for anyone paying attention.

I wiped my wrist against my eyes and promptly felt a hand on my shoulder, squeezing me. “I can’t begin to know what you’re thinking, but it doesn’t matter now,” the mayor said, her voice soft and low. “I promise—if there’s anyone in town who blames you aside from Dale, they’ll forget it with time. You’ll prove yourself to them. The goddess made that much clear to me.”

That sobered me. I turned my head and looked in her eyes—blue hearts. Her cheeks went red and eyes widened behind her glasses as she noticed me staring into them. “What color are they?”

I almost shit a noodle. “W-what?! You know?”

“I told you, she told me everything.”

“Wow. Literally everything, then,” I grunted. “That’s…kind of embarrassing.”

She smirked a little and squeezed my shoulder again, then let go. “Don’t be like that. We’re on the same team here. Nothing to be shy about.”

Hesitantly, I felt my head bob with agreement. “Yeah, you’re right. I should probably be grateful. The more people know this stuff, the easier it is for me to do my job.”

“But don’t tell anyone else,” she cautioned me. “The Harvest Goddess told me you let Darlene know too much. That’s risky.”

My eyes widened. “She told me that the locals wouldn’t see my abilities as strange when I started doing it.”

“Naturally, yes,” she said. “If you explain it to them, then it pierces the veil and makes things murky. Darlene may very well not be able to fall truly in love with you anymore, at least in a way that’s compatible with the Harvest Goddess’s requirements.”

I nodded. If true, it wasn’t a huge loss. It was also a possibility I fully considered when I told her, so it was good to have my instincts confirmed at the very least.

“I guess I should use some of my grandpa’s money to modernize the farm and—”

“No!” she interrupted me, seeming suddenly almost angry at the innocuous suggestion. “Everything must be built by your own hands and the hands of your friends and the Harvest Fairies. No outside help, no modern technology. Our goddess does not understand modernity, so she can’t bless it—and indeed, in some cases, she curses it.”

With a frown, I recalled that my instructions indeed said something similar. “I remember hearing that if I turned to technology, I shouldn’t be surprised if my yields end up smaller in the long run, or something along those lines. I guess this is related to that.”

“Exactly.” The mayor sighed with relief that I had caught back onto the way of things without any other prompting and reminders. “Follow your instructions. Diversify your activities to coax the Harvest Elves—Fairies and Pixies both—out of their hiding places. That should be a big priority of yours.”

I cringed a little at the mention of them. They were sweet, and I certainly liked them, but damn—they were also demanding. Liz seemed to sense my trepidation and she laughed.

“You’ll get used to them. I was told by the Harvest Goddess, with some amusement I might add, that you were still struggling with that part of your duty.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m struggling, per se,” I grunted defensively.

“Of course not,” she said, beaming at me. She looked me up and down, sizing me up, but not in an overly saucy way. It had a hint of concern to it. Her smile went away before she spoke again. “Last I heard you were quite upset with my daughter about—well, about your daughter.”

“I’m over that now,” I said, and it was about thirty percent accurate. “I’m a man. I don’t have the luxury of wallowing in my feelings. It’s on me to move forward and worry about things that matter.”

“Don’t be mopey,” she said, though she didn’t say it in a mocking tone. She placed a hand on my shoulder. “Things played out the way they did solely because they were meant to.”

“You say that as if it somehow absolves you and Queenie for not telling me about Kylie Ann,” I said. “It doesn’t. But I’m not here to cause trouble or kick up a fuss. I won’t piss off the gatekeepers to my last flesh and blood.”

She frowned at me. “You’re still just a boy in the end, I guess.” She reached up and patted me on the head, making me arch a brow at her. “You’re right. It’s true that we did wrong you in a way. Or I did.”

I stared at her. “What do you mean?”

 “Queenie thinks it was her idea not to tell you, but I wanted you to return only when the time was right. I convinced her in my own way to keep the secret, telling her it was better for you this way.” 

I felt anger flare up in my gut. “So I should blame you.”

“Sure—But let’s get one thing straight. Now that you’re here, we would never, and I really mean never, keep Kylie Ann from you.” She paused, then moved her hand to my cheek. I don’t know why I didn’t resist her touch. Maybe I was too numb. “You have no idea how happy Queenie was to see you. Even after you stormed off in anger, I found her crying on the floor in the living room with joy that you just wanted to be part of her daughter’s life. You lived up to the idea of the man she held in her heart all this time.”

“Well, thanks for telling me that much,” I said. “I officially don’t trust you, though.”

“You don’t need to trust me,” she chuckled. “I was never meant to be one of your girls, and Queenie will make a much better lifeline to our hidden world than me once she matures into her potential.”

Before I could ask what she meant, a blue pickup truck that was so old and rusty I wondered how it still worked pulled onto my property, coming up the drive. Behind it was a silver trailer, also rusting at the corners, draped in Christmas lights. We were closing in on April.

“Damn, I forgot that Darlene is straight up white trash,” I laughed.

“Pete!” Liz squeaked in shock, shoving me lightly before breaking into her own giggles, melting some of the tension between us. “That was uncalled for.”

I shook my head, eager to change the subject anyway. “Don’t get me wrong—I love me some white trash. I quite enjoyed running into her yesterday. She’s a pretty interesting chick, that’s for sure.”

“She’s a true believer like my daughter. Darlene hides it well, but she petitioned me multiple times over the years to become a priestess of the Harvest Goddess. It’s no wonder she took my words so seriously at the funeral today.”

I blinked a few times, considering that. Thinking back to our meeting in Mineral Spring, she was quick to believe me about everything. At the very least, I could tell even then that she was a ‘true believer’.

An older gentleman parked the trailer on the edge of my property, on a plot that more broadly belonged to the town itself. Liz Luna didn’t complain as the driver, Big John, unhitched the trailer atop an unused shed foundation and drove off, leaving us behind with a wave.

“About the most casual delivery of my life,” I noted. “And the biggest.”

Liz Luna laughed. “I’d better show my face at home before I meet with the old gals at Yvette’s. It’s been a busy few days. Don’t be surprised if Queenie stops by later to check on you.”

“No need,” I grunted sleepily. “I’ll be heading to your place so I’ll see her there.” I reached out to shake her hand but she batted it aside and hugged me. I let her, despite everything, and even weakly hugged her back.

“It’s been a long time coming, but you’re finally back,” she whispered in my ear as she gave my cheek a squeeze. “Welcome home, Pete.”

As she walked off, both Missy Sanford and Darlene Copeland passed her as they walked the trail onto my property. I don’t know why that startled me—I guess I thought they might be in the trailer, but they apparently chose to walk. Missy was first to wave at me, breaking into a jog the second I was spotted.

I smiled but had mixed feelings about her being in such close proximity to me. On the one hand, it made my so-called quest a bit easier. I half-expected I could propose to her right now and get her on board simply because she was so desperate for my attention. What did I need again, purple hearts in her eyes? Give me one romantic evening, a bottle of lube, and a yoga mat and I bet I’d be there at this rate.

“City Pete!” she shouted, waving her hands as she ran toward me. I waved back, smiling, and next thing I knew she had come to a stop inches away from my face.

Missy was much shorter than me, but she looked up at me, grinning. Every single time I saw this girl, she seemed more excited to see me somehow than the last. I wasn’t sure just how her affection for me was growing so constantly without any work on my end, but it definitely was.

“Hey, Missy,” I said, looking down at her. “We’re going to need to set some ground rules about when you can just, kinda, walk right onto my land without invitation at some point.”

Her smile faded away. “Oh. Sorry,” she said, blushing. “I was kind of thinking we’d eventually just—never mind.” She waved her hands in front of her face, banishing her intrusive thoughts.

“No worries. And hey, Red,” I said, calling out to the petite redhead approaching behind her. “Good to see you too.”

“I bet it is,” she said, gesturing to her outfit—daisy duke jean shorts and a flannel shirt tied below her rib cage to show off her skinny belly.

Missy’s face twitched as she watched for my reaction to the comment. “Don’t be a fucking whore, Darlene,” Missy said without breaking her gaze from me.

“Whoa, whoa,” I laughed at the outburst. “That’s not really necessary.”

“Ignore her, she’s harmless,” Darlene chuckled. She came to a stop beside Missy and rested her elbow on the flexible girl’s shoulder. “How did the signing go?”

“It went,” I said, shrugging. “It’s over. That’s about the best thing I can say for it.”

Darlene grinned her toothy grin and nodded. She slapped Missy on the ass, getting an adorable squeak out of her. “Well, if there’s anything you need us to do, there’s still a few hours left in the day, and neither of us have jobs.”

Missy gasped, looking offended. “I do! I’m an online fitness coach!”

“For like three hours a day,” Darlene giggled. “And that’s including the morning class you teach for your mom at Sunrise.”

“Gawd, Darlene…” Missy hissed in exasperation. “In any case, even if I am totally employed, I’m super eager to help you out with your mission, City Pete,” She smiled sweetly and kicked her feet into the ground. “It’d mean a lot to be trusted by you.”

“I was thinking of taking the rest of the day off and starting tomorrow,” I admitted with a stretch of my arms over my head. “I need to pick up Fierce Boy from the Lunas in a bit, though, and go fetch my car from the public parking lot outside Main Street. You girls make yourselves comfy in that trailer for now.”

“Wait!” Missy gasped as I started to walk away, her hand clawing the air as she reached for me. “I baked you a pie!”

I stopped. I probably should have told her off. Instead, I asked, “What kind of pie?”

“A blueberry pie!” she said. “It’s in Darlene’s trailer! Can I give it to you before you run off?”

I blinked a few times. “Blueberry pie is my favorite.”

“I know,” she giggled, grabbing her cheeks. “I saw it online.”

I cocked my head as I looked at her, my eyes narrowing. Darlene looked like she was staring at a stranger as she looked at Missy. “What do you mean you ‘saw it online’?” she asked.

“I found you on Facebook, Pete,” she explained. “I tried to send you a friend invite, but your profile is locked and it doesn’t look like you log on very often—Still, I was able to see your friends’ list. I looked through all your friends and found some pictures of you with them. In one of the pictures, you were holding a blueberry pie at some kind of party. The caption of the photo was ‘his favorite’. So—I made you a blueberry pie!”

Darlene cringed. “I’ll talk to her, Pete,” she said.

“Talk to me about what?” Missy asked cluelessly.

“About boundaries and red flag behavior,” Darlene muttered.

I nodded with appreciation at the redhead, my fists clenching anxiously. “I still want that blueberry pie, though.”

Darlene looked at me like I was a fucking idiot, which I probably deserved. “Whatever, City Pete. It’s your funeral.”

“I’d never hurt him,” Missy hissed at the redhead as she was pulled away.

So that just happened. As I walked to the Luna residence to pick up Fierce Boy, my head kept racing back to Missy Sanford. She was crazy. Like, it was more than just loneliness and being socially awkward—it was getting weird.

And yet…Man, I really knew I should be able to find the downsides to getting with her, but I kind of couldn’t. She was cute, devoted, able to bake, eager to please, and I just knew she had some story behind her behavior that I could probably relate to. We could be damaged goods together.

But then there was Queenie and Darlene and whoever else joined the party one day. I had to find some way to romance them, too. I might have already blown it by telling Darlene, but I had to try with her, just to see if it was possible. Also, because she was hot and pretty cool.

And then…Queenie, the mother of my daughter, and the one I had the most chemistry with so far. If I didn’t feel a certain way about her keeping Kylie Ann from me all this time, I probably would have kissed her by now. So the big question was…who do I focus on first?

I didn’t have an answer. One of them? All of them? None of them? Should I focus on my work first? Try and explore more? Whatever I chose, Missy wasn’t going to let me keep her on the backburner, so that was also something to mull over.

I knocked on the door to the Luna residence. The sound of a dog barking was the first thing I heard. Queenie answered the door still wearing her dress from the funeral, and Fierce Boy jumped on me and whined with excitement to see me, just like we were lifelong pals. Queenie’s face melted into a warm smile when she saw me. “Hey there, handsome,” she said.

“Hey,” I replied, grinning. “I’m here to pick up my dog.”

She nodded, reaching out. Her hand squeezed mine. “You okay?”

I took longer to answer than I should have. “Yeah, I’m alright. That funeral really…hammered it in for me just how much time I wasted not being here.”

“With your grandpa?” she asked.

I nodded. “With him. With Kylie Ann. With you, too.”

Her smile broadened, still seeming a little sad. She punctuated her grip on my hand with one more squeeze and let go. “Do you need his food and stuff?” It took me a second to remember what she was talking about. She had to gesture at the dog panting at our feet.

“I’ll swing by again tomorrow for the rest of his stuff. He’s eaten for tonight, right?”

“Yeah,” she confirmed. “He had dinner just a minute ago.”

“Great.” I smiled and looked at Fierce, who was only just calming down.

Kylie Ann showed up at the door a second later, rubbing her eyes. “Are you really moving out so fast, Mister Pete?”

I looked at Queenie. “Can she come with me?”

“No, she can’t come with you. Are you insane?” she hissed, smirking as she playfully shoved me. Seeing me frown, though, she paused. “Maybe on the weekends. And a couple hours on school days, but only if you give her something she can help with. I don’t want her using school days just to play.”

“I’ll work her like a mule,” I promised.

“Mister Pete!” Kylie Ann gasped.

“I’m just joking.” I grinned at her and scratched my neck. “Hmm. Maybe I’ll swing by when you have time tomorrow. First thing I need to do is clear my fields, but I’m definitely going to build you a chicken coop soon, kiddo.”

“Build me a chicken coop? As in, it’s mine?” she asked, her eyes going wide.

“Yeah. I’ve been looking at designs online in quiet moments. I found something I can build myself pretty quickly, but if you want anything specific I could—”

“Pete,” Queenie grunted, cutting me off. “Don’t. Spoil. Her.”

I looked at her with a bit less of a grin. “Just let me, though.”

Queenie glanced at Kylie Ann sternly. The little girl looked stunned and excited at the same time. “Go to your room for a minute, sweety. I need to talk with Mister Pete.”

Kylie Ann’s face twisted into a mask of anxiety but she eventually relented and disappeared.

I frowned. My first words came out as more of a growl than I meant for them to. “You had her—no, you hid her for almost eight goddamn years. Let me just have this one thing with her.”

“Think for a second,” she said, placing a hand on my chest. “I’m thrilled to see you, and I’m beyond touched to find out how eager you are to be in her life. I’m not opposed to it at all, Pete—but to her you’re just a friendly stranger that rolled into town the other day.” 

“So what?” I muttered, but I was already starting to see her point.

She suddenly seemed to realize we were still standing in the doorway. She stepped out onto the front stoop with me and half-shut the door behind her. “Have you considered how this will warp her attitude toward new men in her life if I allow you to show up, tell her you’re just an old friend, and proceed to let you give her the world?”

Fuck. She was right. I already lost this argument in my own mind. “But—she’s my kid. Just let her be my kid. Let’s tell her right now. I’m ready.”

“I’m not,” Queenie said, her brows slanting with irritation one moment, but then melting into a more compassionate look a second later. She placed her hand on my cheek. “Pete. Peter. I have been waiting for you to walk back into my life for…so long. And I’m sorry I messed up so badly. You deserve a relationship with her. And I don’t deserve a relationship with you after how I handled this, but…I’d like to try. If you’re open to it.”

I froze. “Are you asking me to date you?”

“Casually at first, maybe? Just to see if we…work. I’d really like for Kylie Ann to have her father, but even better if we can be a family together, right? What do you think?”

I didn’t think. In that moment, I just acted, fueled as much by an old lingering attraction to Queenie as I was my desire for her to let me be my daughter’s father. If she needed me to be her man in order for me to let Kylie Ann know who I was—that took priority. Missy, Darlene, and whoever else…they could wait.

I leaned in and wrapped my arms around Queenie, and she instinctively lifted up a leg and curled it around me with a gasp as I pressed my lips into hers. With her eyes still wide, she let me kiss her, staring at me for a moment until we both finally accepted what we were doing and committed to the embrace.

Her hands roved wildly over my body. Fierce whimpered a little in confusion as he sat beside us, not clear as to what it was we were doing. The door was still half-open behind Queenie, and my back was facing Main Street but I didn’t care who saw us in the least. This was going to make me a family with Kylie Ann—I’d risk every other prospect if I had to. She was all I had left.

But Queenie broke off from the kiss, staring me in the eyes. Her own eyes were heavy-lidded with feeling—complex, numerous emotions looking back at me. “Do you love me?” she asked.

“I missed you,” I said. “That’s what I can honestly say. I missed you so much—and the fact that you are now my family means that I wouldn’t let go of you for the world.”

She smiled sadly and nodded. “But you’re not in love with me.”

I paused, my mouth opening to speak a moment later, but she cut me off.

“It’s okay. But, Pete? I’m in love with you. I have been since…since we were kids. I never fully confessed because, well—you were only here every summer. But…I always loved you. When I got pregnant with Kylie Ann, some people begged me to get an abortion—but I couldn’t bear the thought of losing that piece of you, knowing that you may never come back.”

“Who told you to do that?” I asked, horrified at the suggestion. It shocked me that a rural town like this would have anyone that would make such a bold demand of a single mother-to-be.

“Well, the obvious one is Dale,” she grumbled glumly, making me hate that bastard even more. “You’re missing the point.”

I shook my head. “Right. I’m sorry. I hear you. Look—I still have trust issues with you for obvious reasons but—”

Her eyes expanded to a size I’d never seen before, and for a moment, it was like her skin glowed. Had I…seen that or not? There wasn’t any time to wonder, though, because her reaction came in immediately. “No!” she shouted, almost making me jump. “No, Pete! Trust me! That was one mistake, that’s all! I won’t ever do anything like that again!”

“It’s one mistake you made for eight straight years,” I said.

She shook her head. “You have no idea—it got harder every day. In the beginning, it was a coin flip, but the longer I waited the more I became resolved to just…wait and see if you ever came back. But I would have told you, Pete. Eventually, I’m sure it would have happened.”

“I want to believe that,” I said.

“How can I make you believe it, then?” she asked. Her eyes narrowed as she looked past my shoulder. “Fuck. Come inside. Shut the door.”

I followed her back into the house, reached behind me, and closed the door. Before I did, I caught a brief glimpse of Missy Sanford, standing on the opposite end of the street, glaring at us.

“Goddammit,” I muttered. “What the hell is she doing in town? Shouldn’t she be with Darlene?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Queenie said. “We’re together, right? We’ll figure out how she fits into all this later.”

My mouth opened and closed. I wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that. “Huh?”

“I mean…as long as we’re a family, then it doesn’t matter. We’ll figure out how you can take care of Missy with time—and how exactly she fits into your love life.”

I blinked a few times as I processed that. Was it something about her mother’s speech at the funeral that got her up to speed? Was it the fact that I was making progress in all my relationships that was getting the girls used to the idea of a non-traditional arrangement? Was the Harvest Goddess pulling strings behind the scenes to make her more open-minded? Whatever it was, I wasn’t going to reject it for the moment. I cleared my throat. “Right.”

She smiled. “Anyway, I’m really glad we had this talk—even if you forced it on me just because you want to spoil your daughter.”

“And I’m going to,” I told her. “Don’t try and stop me. And I’m not waiting forever to tell her, either.”

Queenie sighed. “I guess there’s no point hiding it from her indefinitely. Maybe next week—just give me some time to prepare her, okay? I agree that she deserves to know that you’re her daddy.”

A little head poked out of one of the rooms in the hallway just behind her, making my heart sink and leap at the same time. Kylie Ann cleared her throat. “He’s my what?”

13 A Family Meeting

Not two minutes later, the three of us were inside the living room for our very first official family meeting. Kylie Ann sat on the sofa beside her mother, and I pulled up a chair from the dinner table to sit across from them, but close enough that one of my knees almost rubbed against Queenie’s.

Kylie Ann was already crying, her face a cold mask of confusion. Gone were the exuberant, cute expressions I’d already come to adore. She looked almost like a zombie, eyes wide, lips pressed into a tight line. She fidgeted with the buttons on her dress.

“Kylie Ann—what you overheard just now is the truth. Peter and I spent every summer together for most of our childhood. We were the same age, and his grandpa was friends with my mother—well, he looked out for her, anyway. She had me quite young.”

I listened as Queenie began, feeling sweat form on my palms. I wanted so badly to speak, to try and reframe this all as the good news I felt it was, but the little girl just looked so scared and shocked that I kept my mouth shut and let Queenie do the talking. She knew her best.

Queenie continued after a pause. “Mister Pete—I mean, Peter…He and I were very close whenever we saw each other, and the very last time I saw him, well—he gave me you.”

Kylie Ann blinked. “And then what?” she asked.

I chimed in here, doing my best to tread carefully. “At the time, neither of us knew your mother was pregnant, and we said our goodbyes. I moved back to the city, and your mom, of course, stayed here. Unfortunately, life in the city was really busy so I didn’t come back.”

She blinked. “Not even when you found out about me?”

“Well—” I cut myself off, making eye contact with Queenie. She looked panicked, genuinely afraid of what I was going to say, and I realized why. Queenie never told me about Kylie Ann. If I let Kylie Ann know that fact, I’d risk her turning against her mother. There had to be a better way. “Your mother and I weren’t in contact.”

She saw right through that. Her eyes narrowed. “A lot of the other kids in town had dads. I never knew why I didn’t.”

“Well,” I said, “now you know. I didn’t know about you, your mom didn’t know where to find me for the longest time, and you were doing perfectly fine here with her and your grandma—who both love you very much.”

“Why didn’t you love me?” she asked, her eyes suddenly leaking a steady stream of tears. “Couldn’t you—why didn’t you find me?”

“Kylie Ann, I—I didn’t know about—”

“Why didn’t you know?! I don’t understand!” she screamed through tears, wiping her eyes on her shoulder, soaking through her polka-dotted dress. It was the same dress she wore to my grandpa’s funeral hours earlier. “I don’t get it! Why didn’t you know?!”

Queenie put a hand on her shoulder. “We didn’t have time to figure out the best way to explain this to you. We planned to prepare you for it, letting you get to know him as Mister Pete and then telling you the truth once we knew how.”

“Why don’t you know how?!” she wailed. “It doesn’t make sense! You’re lying to me! You’re not telling me something! Why didn’t you find him, Momma?! Why didn’t you tell him?!”

“Baby, I’m sorry, I—”

“I had no daddy—my whole life! Every year, the other kids got picked up by their dads and taken to the big pumpkin patch for movie nights and the Father’s Day barbecue, and Grandma used to take me instead. It should have been you!” She pointed at me.

“It will be from now on,” I said. “I promise.”

“But I don’t…I don’t know you! You’re my dad, but I don’t know anything about you. Who are you? What was your job? Were you married? Do you have other kids? Do you—do you…”

She grabbed a pillow on the couch and screamed into it, crying profusely. Queenie patted her on the back, the two of us inhaling deeply as we made eye contact. She mouthed the words, “I’m so sorry,” and I just nodded back at her.

It was too late to undo all the damage. This kid was badly hurt. Queenie bore a lot of the blame for that, true—but so did I. I should have been a good grandson and friend and come back here every summer. I shouldn’t have become a stranger to this town that had always been so good to me—to my grandfather and my own child. With that in mind, there was no part of me left that held any ill will toward Queenie. Seeing Kylie Ann’s outburst made me realize just how much of it was my fault all along.

I got on my knees, pushing the chair back. I placed my hands atop Kylie Ann’s knuckles as she clutched the pillow, hiding her face. She whimpered as she felt my touch, but didn’t jerk her hands away or kick me. “Hey,” I whispered. “It’s okay. You’re right. Your mom and I are both holding back some stuff to protect each other. I didn’t get to be your dad until today, but I want to be. I want you to get to know me, and let me get to know you. I want to do all those dad things for you—I could cook you breakfast on the weekends, go on field trips with you for school, have a movie night with you and your mom, build you that chicken coop. You can sleep on my farm sometimes, and if you want to go to some pumpkin patch or do a barbecue, just say the word.”

“Do you…really want to be my dad?” she asked, looking up at me. “On TV, the dads sometimes run away from their kids. I thought my dad was one of…those.”

“If I had known about you sooner, I would have run to you, not away,” I said.

Queenie cleared her throat. “Honey, I didn’t want you to find out like this, but what’s done is done. It must hurt a lot, but we have to move forward. Okay, sweetheart?”

Kylie Ann nodded, lowering the pillow. “Okay.”

“Okay?” I asked, smiling.

“Okay...Daddy,” she said, trying the word out. I almost cried myself to hear her call me that—Queenie did. Kylie Ann sort of leaned forward in a way that looked like she was falling into me, letting me catch her in a hug. She didn’t hug me back, but she let me hug her, and God Almighty, I hugged the shit out of that kid.

“We’ll figure this out,” I told her, running my fingers through her hair. A part of me wanted to kiss her forehead and wipe away her tears, but I felt like I hadn’t earned that. Like she said, she didn’t know me. This hug was the best I would get for a while, but I’d take it gladly.

But then, Kylie Ann sat up, pulling back from the hug, her lip trembling as she looked at me. “I’m—I’m so confused,” she whimpered, her eyes pooling up all over again.

Fuck. Just when I thought we were out of the woods. Queenie nodded at me, then at the door. I nodded back and stood. “I think it’s best if I give you a little space from me, kiddo,” I said. “I’ll let you process things with your mother and on your own, and when you’re ready, I’ll be back. Alright?”

“But—no, wait,” she said, reaching out. Her little hand grabbed the bottom of my denim jacket. “What if you don’t come back?”

“I will,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Wait—can you answer my questions?”

“Which questions?” I said.

“Do you have other kids? Are you married?”

“No,” I told her, shaking my head. “No on both accounts.”

“Did you have a girlfriend in the city?”

I chuckled. “Lots, once upon a time, but nothing serious.”

“Do you—what was your job?”

“I was a handyman, basically. Whatever was broken, I’d show up to fix it. Plumbing, electricity, appliances, patch jobs in the home—doors and floors, and ceilings. I ran my own little business, but I was the only employee most of the time.”

She smiled a little. “Sounds cool.”

“I can teach you to fix things if you want,” I offered. “I’ll be doing a lot of work on that old farm. Could use some strong hands, even if they’re a bit teeny-tiny.”

She giggled a bit as Queenie dabbed her eyes with the bandana that had previously held her hair back.

“Do you love me?”

“Yes, I do,” I said without thinking. “Saddest I’ve ever been was realizing how much time I missed with you. Happiest I’ve ever been was finding out you exist.”

She smiled a bit more broadly. “Do you love Mommy?”

Queenie and I looked at each other. The two of us had already covered that question privately. “It’s been a long time,” her mother said. “Your father and I are still picking up the pieces, sweety.”

“Your mother is a great, strong, beautiful woman and mother,” I told her. “If I don’t answer that question, it’s just because I don’t feel like I’ve got the right to say yes…but the answer isn’t no. After all—she gave me you.”

Both of them smiled, and I decided that was the high note I wanted to leave on. I nodded at Queenie, then reached out and patted my daughter on the head. 

“Be good for your mother. We both did the best we could at the time. But I have a feeling that now that I’ve got the two of you, my best is going to become a whole lot better.” I took a step back but had trouble turning away from her. “See you later, sweetheart.” I hoped that saying the words would make it easier to commit to leaving for the night.

“Bye, Daddy. I—bye.”

I nodded and turned around, heading out toward my new home. “Let’s go, Fierce Boy,” I grunted, beckoning to the dog snuggling Kylie Ann’s foot at the base of the couch. “Time to grab the car and head home.”

***

When I got back to the farm I found two boxes of wine gift-wrapped on my doorstep with a note. “Welcome to town. Glad to have ya! Feel free to stop by sometime. –Yvette.” I smiled at that and headed inside the cabin.

The place was gutted. They tidied up the last of the cobwebs for me this morning, but there was almost nothing of value left inside save for a shitty loveseat with floral patterns and a twin-sized bed in the room that used to be my grandfather’s. I felt weird sleeping in there, especially on that bed that he must have laid in when he was infirm, so I squeezed onto the loveseat instead and fished my phone out of my pocket.

Long story short, after replying to a bunch of welcome messages from people who got my number at the funeral and setting up times to catch up with some more of the townies, I got drunk on the box wine and passed out on the loveseat.

When I woke up in the morning, I was still wearing the same clothes I wore to the funeral. I got up, stretched, and glanced out the window to estimate the time—and what I saw there nearly made me jump out of my skin.

Missy. Missy Sanford was staring at me through the window, I swear to God, but the second my eyes landed on her she ducked out of sight and took off. Fierce Boy spotted her just as she darted away and started barking, and it was hard to get him to stop.

“Jesus Christ,” I gasped, my heart beating hard from the jump scare. “That chick is getting to be an issue.”

I took a leak in the bathroom, then took a shower. I changed clothes and headed outside. Darlene was out in front of her trailer at the edge of my property, sitting in a skimpy American flag bikini on a lawn chair while sipping something that looked a little suspicious.

“You’re up early,” I shouted over at her, waving.

“Can’t hear you, Farmer Pete,” she yelled back, cackling a bit. “Come on over.”

I decided that I’d better do just that, so I walked over to her side and smiled broadly. “Trying to suntan at seven in the morning?”

“I was waiting for your sleepy ass to come out and give me something to help with.”

“Hey, listen,” I muttered, lowering my voice. “This morning I caught Missy peeking through my window—watching me as I slept, I guess.”

“What?” she said in a disbelieving huff, her eyes narrowing as she took another sip of her drink. “That’s creepy. Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure, yeah. She followed me to Queenie’s place yesterday too and watched us talk on the front stoop.”

“That bitch needs to get spayed,” she giggled. “Would you believe she told me she was just going to the gym to get a workout in?”

My face remained serious. “Talk to her for me. That kind of stuff can’t keep happening. I’m going to have to ask her to move back to Sunrise Fitness Studio at this rate. Frankly, I feel a bit on edge.”

Darlene nodded. “I’ll see what’s going on. Did you eat the pie?”

“It was breakfast,” I said.

“Can I get a slice?”

I frowned guiltily.

“You ate the whole thing, didn’t you?”

“Best blueberry pie of my goddamned life,” I muttered.

She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, what’s on the docket for today, Farmer Pete?”

“I much prefer that to Prodigal Pete, by the way—but I’m thinking about finishing up with clearing the fields. I wouldn’t recommend you wearing that if you plan on helping.”

Darlene snickered at me, twirling a thick, braided pigtail. “I’ll put on my shorts and a jean jacket. I’ve got a sunhat too, if you’re planning to go past noon.”

“If we start now, we can probably clear a chunk of it by then, and that’ll be good enough for today. I need to go into town later on.”

Darlene and I fell into an easy flow together, getting to work on the fields. There was one corner of the field that was already bare—and even tilled. When I thought about it for a moment, I realized why; that was probably the spot that Apple helped me with yesterday.

Speaking of Apple, I suddenly wondered why I hadn’t heard from the Harvest Fairies and the Fertility Pixies yet this morning. At least one of them should have been waiting for me to wake up, I figured. Maybe Missy spooked them? But that didn’t make much sense—Missy wasn’t supposed to be able to see them, right?

“She can see us,” Apple’s familiar voice suddenly cooed in my ear, forcing me to whip my whole body around in surprise. The Fairy was floating at eye level with me in her normal shortstack size. “Would you like some milk? Did you eat breakfast?”

“I had pie,” I grunted. “You scared the piss out of me, Apple.”

“Sorry,” she giggled. “Can I scare the cum out of you now?”

“Wait—what did you mean? You said Missy can see you?”

Apple’s smirk withered to nothing, a more serious look on her face. “It’s true, Pete. I haven’t figured out why just yet, but I sense dark magic at work—which means the Queen of the Mines might be behind it.”

“The what?” I muttered.

“I shouldn’t speak her name on your property,” she whispered, her rosy cheeks tightening as she frowned. “She won’t harm you—she wants you to fulfill your destiny as well, but—I think she and the Harvest Goddess disagree on just how.”

I set down my scuffle hoe, the tool I’d been using to pull weeds in my grandfather’s field. Well, my field. I looked over my shoulder and spied Darlene continuously working not even ten yards away from me, throwing stray branches, debris, and rocks in a wheelbarrow.

“Red can’t see you, though,” I noted.

“Not yet,” Apple agreed. “Just—be careful. Now, there’s no time to waste. Take off your fucking pants.”

“Wait, I feel like there’s more information you need to share with—” My voice dissipated into the air as she shed her skimpy robes, revealing her nudity to me. “I—uh. Wait. What were we talking about?”

“Missy,” she reminded me. “But that doesn’t matter! We need to do our duty for each other, Pete! I can give you vigor and keep you pure and thinking straight with your women so long as you let me drain your majestic, chosen seed.”

“What about the Pixies?” I asked. I looked over and saw that, now that Apple was naked, Darlene and the world around us had frozen entirely, but the sounds of nature still played on an awkward loop, like I was listening to a thirty second nature sounds clip on repeat. “And what else don’t I know? Queenie mentioned that some of the other girls in town have hidden appearances. What was that?”

“Pete! You’re killin’ me here!” she said, pointing at her tits and vagina.

“Answer that question, at least,” I said, ever the negotiator. “Then we’ll do our morning deed.”

She grinned. “Fine. Queenie and some other women in town are descended from the original elves that came along with the Harvest Goddess. Don’t breathe a word of it to anyone. That’s a secret that the Harvest Goddess, or Queenie herself, get to divulge—and no one else.”

“Except you,” I said. “You just divulged it to me.”

“Yeah, well, you’re playing hard-to-get!” she huffed, crossing her arms in a way that pushed up her boobs. With that view, the last of my resistances faded away, and next thing I knew, I set her on a wooden fence-post in shortstack mode and plowed into her from the back.

“Oh! Fuck, Petey!” she moaned. “You feel so fucking good inside my fairy cunt!”

“Why are you all so good at contemporary dirty talk?” I mumbled to myself as I continued to buck inside her.

“You gonna give me that cum, Petey?! You gonna fill me up and let me feed you fairy milk from my fat titties, big boy?!”

I grunted a confirmation as her slick elfhood gripped me tight and wet, and almost like she’d just spoken a prophecy, I came.

From there, I brought Apple to the ground with me and let her breastfeed me—that strawberry milk coming out again, invigorating me in ways no energy drink or espresso ever did.

Once she was satisfied, she giggled and disappeared into thin air, and time unfroze. I scrambled to put my dick back in my pants and get back to work before Darlene noticed anything weird. Not that she’d care much, I figured, but I wasn’t quite ready for that conversation.

I got back to work, and within another hour, it wasn’t just Darlene and me. Fierce started barking from the other side of the lot, near the trailer, which of course drew my gaze, and I saw Missy approaching us in an athletic camisole and gym shorts. She was also wearing sunglasses.

“Hey!” she said, waving us down. “Mind if I help?”

I looked over at Darlene, the two of us sharing wary glances, but I turned back to Missy and nodded, gesturing for her to join us. “Grab a wheelbarrow and help out Darlene with the debris and junk. I’m halfway through the weeding already.”

I actually felt stunned when I said that. It was impossible that I had gotten through so much of the land this quickly. In fact, within the next ten minutes, I got a little alert in my mysterious HUD.

Level 3 Achieved! Choose a perk!

• Farming Adept – Your skill and effectiveness with common farming tools improves by twenty percent.

• Cream of the Crops – Crop quality is increased by twenty percent.

I didn’t put much thought into the selection this time around, just going with Farming Adept right away. “Nice,” I said, immediately feeling a difference in my speed as I continued to work.

Eventually, Missy casually made her way over to me, looking absurdly cute in her gym attire, dripping with sweat from the midmorning sun. She grinned at me, and I debated broaching the topic of this morning’s voyeur session or not. I decided to save it for later and let Darlene handle it. I didn’t need drama in the middle of my work day.

So instead, I smiled at her. “That pie was great,” I said. “I ate all of it.”

She giggled sweetly. “I’m so glad you think so. I worked really hard on it, just for you.”

“Right,” I said, feeling a chill go down my spine. To her credit, though she continued to stare at me, she didn’t stop working, constantly picking up every little stick, twig, stone, or piece of litter that had blown onto the farm. “How was your class this morning?”

“It was good,” she chirped. She watched me work, her eyes fixating on my bicep for a moment. She licked her lips and looked back in my eyes. I almost dreaded looking into hers whenever her sunglasses slid down her nose, fearing I’d already see totally unearned purple hearts, but they were still red after all. “A lot of people switched to online classes during COVID lockdown and never broke the habit. I think at least three of my students are people who are technically on the clock working from home during the class to this day.” She snickered at that like it was such a naughty secret.

I smiled at her genuinely. “It’s good that your business is thriving. Probably rare for a business out here to do so well.”

She frowned at that. “Between you and me, I think a couple of the students are guys who turn their cameras off and just watch me workout and do the stretches. I don’t really know how to deal with them.”

That was kind of gross. I frowned sympathetically. “That is tough. Can you prove it?”

“Not really,” she sighed. “I long for the day when exercise can just be a hobby, and I can focus on my real dream.”

“And that is?” I asked.

She clapped her hands together, giving me the sweetest, most adorable grin I’d yet seen on her pretty face as she said, “Be a housewife!”

Why was I not surprised? I coughed a bit and got back to work, just kind of nodding without adding any further comment.

I did, however, steal looks her way from time to time because, well—she was showing a lot of skin, was covered in sweat, and was extremely attractive. I knew I shouldn’t really pine after her until I figured out what was going on with her unusually clingy behavior, but the penis wants what it wants. So yeah, I gawked every so often.

And when I did, I started to notice something. At certain angles, it seemed like there was a streak of  blue in her hair. It was dark and faint, but it was definitely there and seemed to become a bit easier to spot every time I looked.

I cleared my throat to get her attention. “Did you get highlights in your hair?” I asked, leaning on my scuffle hoe as I looked her over.

She blushed. “Uh—you noticed that, huh?”

“So they are highlights, then,” I grunted, getting back to work.

“Uh…kinda, yeah,” she murmured, which of course got my attention again.

I stopped to look at her questioningly. “What does that mean?”

Missy shrugged. “I don’t know, exactly. I noticed it last night, too. This morning, it was even more noticeable. My mom didn’t seem to see it—neither did Darlene. I thought I might be going crazy, but I guess not.” She let out an airy breath that might have just been from exertion, then leaned in, pointing at her eye. “Look here. What do you see?”

For a second, I thought she knew about the hearts, and I almost panicked—but then I realized she was talking about her irises. They had tinted red.

“Hmm. That’s interesting,” I noted. “Your eyes are red.”

“Yeah,” she murmured, shaking her head. “I feel fine, I guess. Weird magic stuff happens all the time out here, but…it’s kind of confusing when it happens to you, you know?”

I didn’t know what to tell her. If I had to guess, I’d say that she was probably one of the girls Apple had just told me about—descended from the elves long ago. But if that was true, why was she only changing now of all times? And didn’t her family move into town when she was a kid? And…was I seeing a hint of red in her irises now, too? It was hard to be sure because the hearts were always blocking them.

At noon, the three of us sat on the lawn chairs outside Darlene’s trailer. Darlene handed me a Miller Lite without a single question as to whether I wanted it or not, and I watched with amusement as she popped the tab on hers using her teeth.

“Don’t wanna mess up the nails, Red?” I asked with a chuckle.

Darlene winked at me. “There you go, calling me that old name again. Not that I mind.” She turned to Missy. “Did you want one, honey?”

“No thanks,” she said. “I’m going to use your shower and take a rest for a bit—unless you need anything, Pete?”

I shook my head, smiling at her. I had almost put her creepiness out of my mind. She seemed fairly mellow at the moment for whatever reason, and she hadn’t once brought up seeing me kiss Queenie just yesterday afternoon. “I’m good. I think while you’re resting I’ll head into town. I told Bob I’d head down to the Everything Store, and I wanted to pop into Yvette’s right after that for a pub pizza. I remember hearing she made the best pizza across the whole county, but I was never allowed in there as a kid.”

Darlene giggled and took off her jacket. She pulled another can out of her cooler and used it to dab her body, making her nipples grow visibly erect underneath her flimsy yet patriotic bikini top. “I’d be happy to babysit Fierce Boy for you while you get your jollies in town.”

“Works for me,” I said. “In fact, his dog food is the main thing I wanted to buy.”

So it was set. I thanked them for their help, taking one last look at the now mostly cleared field, then said goodbye and started the short walk toward Main Street. Along the way, I gave Fierce Boy a kiss on the forehead, making his tail wag, and told him to be good for Darlene and Missy while I was gone.

On the road, I met the three Pixies I’d been waiting on and promptly took care of their needs. It was a good thing, too, because the beast in me was getting kind of riled up from watching Darlene and Missy get sweaty with me in that field.

Overall? A damn good morning. And I was sure the afternoon wouldn’t disappoint me either.