Chapter 509 (Patreon)

Arcueid Brunestud POV

Bored.

Bored.

Bored!

I should have gone back to sleep, there’s nothing interesting going on. I can’t even go hunt a Dead Apostle because there aren’t any that had appeared in a while. Why do they always run and hide when I wake up? It makes hunting them so annoying, they should just fight me and die properly.

I thought I’d find something interesting with my cousin, but he left already and hasn’t come back.

Gramps got mad at me too, so he’s not letting me go out and find something fun unless it’s part of my duties.

Should I just go back to sleep until one of those bastards crawls out and I can hunt them?

I wish my new cousin stayed longer….

“Thanks for the help, Old Man.”

“It’s no trouble, Rin.”

Who’s that?

A human girl with Gramps? She looked Asian, I think. It’s hard to tell sometimes, humans can be weird about that sort of thing too.

I wonder if she knows Asian Magecraft like my cousin? I wanted to ask him about that, but I forgot before he left. I’ve never been hit with that kind of Magecraft before and it was really interesting!

Huh, is that a Noble Phantasm on her back?

It was a spear, it didn’t have much of a presence, probably not ranked very highly, but it was still a Noble Phantasm!

“Hey, fight me!” I stood up, pointing at her.

“Bwah!?

“Arcueid, don’t initiate a fight with my student.” Gramps did that thing where he chastised me for some reason.

“Why?” Was it a human thing I didn’t know about?

“She’s still young and learning.”

“Oh, nevermind then.” I sat back down. No point, it’d be boring if even Gramps said she wasn’t good.

“I feel like I was insulted.” Gramp’s student frowned.

“You’re welcome to spar with someone that Wilhelm would lose against if things escalated.” Gramps said.

Heh.

Gramps knew how to say the right things.

“….suddenly, I’m rather happy with being insulted.” She paused. “And she’s….?”

“Ah, introductions.” Gramps clapped his hands. “Rin Tohsaka, heir to the Tohsaka family and my precious student, already picking up the basics of the Kaleidoscope. And Arcueid Brunestud, the White Princess, and last True Ancestor.” He gestured between us.

Huh, she’s already learning Gramps’ Magic? Next time I wake up from a nap, I’ll see how much stronger she got.

“Yeah, not touching that with a 10-foot pole without Saber with me.” His student said dryly.

“That reminds me, I wanted to see the interaction between your Servant and Arcueid due to her being the wielder of the Holy Sword.”

Holy Sword?

That Holy Sword!

“You have the wielder of the Holy Sword!” I stood up again.

“Arcueid, control yourself.” Gramps chastised again.

I looked down, realizing I had cracked the table. “Sorry.” He said I should apologize when I break things by accident.

“As long as you’re more careful.” He nodded. “And to answer your question, yes. Rin’s Servant is the wielder of the Holy Sword.”

“I want to meet her!”

“No.”

Not fair!

Even I knew about the Holy Sword! I’ve never gotten to see it in person before though, those stingy ones on the Reverse Side are so protective of it!

“Right….I should probably get going.” Gramp’s student spoke. “Do you mind, Old Man?”

“Oh not at all.” He waived his hand, using his Magic to connect to the Realm outside the World. “Now, some words from your Teacher.”

She let out a huff with arms crossed. “Come on, I’m not some greenhorn anymore.”

“It’s my duty as your Teacher to remind you regardless. Be careful, listen to Saber when it comes to matters of warfare. Don’t lose yourself in fighting, it’s much different than the smaller battles you’ve been a part of. Be observant, it’s important to always be aware of your surroundings. Most importantly, your safety comes first.”

“Alright, I’ll be careful.” She nodded.

If the Holy Sword user is there…..I want to go too. I thought it was something boring my Cousin was doing, but it sounds like it’s actually something good!

“Gramps, I want to go too.”

“Absolutely not.” He denied me again.

Hmph!

That’s weird, there’s a strange space around Gramp’s Student? Oh, it’s just some type of Magecraft that creates a space attached to something she’s wearing.

I looked inside and smiled. While they weren’t looking, I reached into the space and took something out, quickly hiding it.

I pretended to stop caring as she left.

“Gramps, I wanna go out!”

“And do what?”

Oh, what do I say? I need to say something convincing.

“I want to eat more human food! I promise I won’t fight anyone while I’m here!” Perfect! There’s no way he would notice anyone wrong.

“….is that right?”

“Yup!”

He silently stared at me for some reason. It was always hard to trick Gramps, I’ve only been able to do it a few times. Like when I stole his metal thing with wheels and crashed it and blamed it on a Dead Apostle.

He never suspected a thing.

“I suppose you’ll need money.”

Oh right, humans use that whole thing. Putting value on a concept of equivalent exchange in the form of parchment with trust that it holds an intrinsic meaning. I liked it better when humans used gold, I liked the feeling of walking around with a pouch of clinking gold coins.

“Give me money, gramps!”

Gramps sighed for some reason. “That is the most Granddaughterly thing I think you’ve ever said to me before. Alright, but don’t cause trouble around here, okay? It was difficult enough soothing the egos of the Mages without another incident occurring.”

“I won’t fight anyone here!” Does it count if I just kill them without fighting? That should be fine in case someone does something rude. I was always warned to be cautious around Mages.

Gramps handed me the paper and I happily took it and ran out the door before he could take it back.

I made sure that I was really far away and away from any Mages. I was extra careful and I travelled away from human civilization until I found an isolated forest with a bit more Mystery still hiding deep in it.

Hiding my presence using this wouldn’t be too hard, but Gramps is smart.

I used my presence to stir up the Mystery, obscuring my presence here.

Perfect!

I reached up under my shirt, taking out what I stole. It was one of those toys that Gramps made awhile ago.

A red stick with a star on the top.

How do I turn this on again?

Here it is. I pumped my Mana into it and it sprung to like.

“Magical Ruby is back!” The Wand jumped around, only stopping when it saw me. “…..Arcueid?”

I smiled, grabbing it. “Take me to where my Cousin is.”

“Eh!?”

“Take me to where my cousin is! I know you can do that.”

“I need context!”

“What’s so hard about this? I just want to go visit my cousin.” I frowned, wondering if this wand was broken.

“You mean….Wilhelm?”

“Yes.” I nodded.

“Alright, alright. I think I get it, you want me to take you over to where he is, that world-line.”

“Yup!” The toy was getting it now.

“I refuse.”

“You’re not allowed to.”

“Hahaha, the Old Man will scrap me if I do this.”

“…..I could break you if you don’t?”

“You bring up a valid and concerning point.”

“You also have to listen to me.” I said, remembering how Gramps said they were made and who they were forced to listen to orders from.

“….technically, you’re right. Which puts me in quite the pickle. I’m programmed to listen to the orders a certain umbrella of people which you technically fall under…” The wand replied. “Why exactly do you want to go find him?”

“I’m bored.”

“Honestly, I’d have folded with a worse answer. Alright, but when we inevitably get found out and the Old Man gets mad at me, you have to protect me.”

“Deal.” That was a fair trade.

“You’re lucky, I’ve been there before, otherwise it would have been harder without Rin with me.” The Wand floated out of my hand. “Speaking of, how did you even get ahold of me?”

“I stole you from her space thing!”

“….well alrighty then. I have a feeling I’m going to immensely regret this, but now I’m too invested to give up.” The Wand spun around and utilized Gramp’s magic like what happened earlier. “Let’s go Princess.”

It should be fine; I’m just going on a little trip and I’ll be back soon!

@***@

Weird.

It was weird.

So many non-humans, but not Dead Apostles. I haven’t seen something like this outside of the Reverse Side.

But it was so interesting too!

I felt weird being in the world as well. Something inside of me telling me to go back home, but I’d only be gone for a little while, it wasn’t a problem.

“Where is he?” I looked at the Wand.

“How should I know? I’m not omnipotent, but this is where he generally lives, Kyoto Japan sub dimension home to the majority of Japan’s Youkai population.” The wand replied.

Hmm, I suppose that makes sense.

Well, it was good enough, there were many fun things here!

Immediately, I found more human food…..wait. Was it human food if it wasn’t made by a human?

I wanted to try it though.

“Wait, where are you going!?”

“I want to eat that.” I pointed at the good smelling thing.

“Fine, just…..don’t run away, at the very least, we need to stick together.” The Wand stated.

Hmm, it makes a good point, I may have use of it later.

“Mister, I want one of these.” I walked up to the wooden counter, putting some of the paper on it. The food was like some kind of breaded orb with things stuffed inside.

I want it!

“Coming right up –“ He stopped, looking at the money. “Um Miss, this is the wrong currency?”

“What’s wrong with it?” I tilted my head because I knew that Gramps wouldn’t lie to me.

“This looks English, I think?” The Strange creature, an Octopus thing, used its tentacle to rub its head. “We use Japanese Yen here. First time in Japan?”

“There’s right and wrong money?” I frowned, confused. “Gramps never told me that.”

Why doesn’t everyone just use the same money?

“You can send the bill to Yasaka’s estate.” The floating Wand spoke up. “She’s the cousin of her lover, they’ll handle it. Sorry, she’s never been here before, much less mingled with human concepts.”

“The Young Lord’s cousin?” The Octopus creature’s tentacles wiggled in the air. “No problem then! Have what you want.”

Oh, he’s nice!

“No need, I’ll pay for them.”

What a strange feeling, I looked at who spoke and furrowed my brow trying to understand what I was thinking. “Oh, a Goddess, I haven’t seen one of you in a long time!”

The Octopus creature froze for some reason.

The Goddess walked up looked at me weirdly too. “I didn’t intend to broadcast my identity…”

“Lady Izanami, thank you for helping.” The Wand spoke.

“….nor did I intend to reveal my name.” The Goddess sighed, glancing at the Octopus who looked surprised.

“That’s a familiar name!” I forget where I heard it before, there were so many names of Divine Spirits that I’ve heard in passing over the years. “Hi, I’m Arcueid Brunestud.”

“I vaguely mention Wilhelm mentioning you before. As the wand mentioned, I’m Izanami and Japan’s Mother Goddess.” She frowned slightly.

“You know where he is!?” Perfect!

“…in a manner of speaking. Did you….come here to see him?”

“Yup! I was bored and wanted to come and see him.” I nodded happily.

“Does your Grandfather know you’re here?” She asked.

Uh oh, did she know Gramps?

“Of course!”

“…..right.”

Hmph, who said that I was stupid? I’m good at fooling people, they never suspect a thing.

“Why don’t you come along with me, I was meeting someone and they were wanting to seek out Wilhelm as well.” The Goddess spoke.

How convenient, I wouldn’t have to wander around then. And I took the not-human made food with me as well. “How do you know my Cousin?” I looked at her as she led me through the weird city.

“We are…..dating.” She replied.

I tilted my head, looking at her. “What does that mean?”

The Goddess looked at the Wand and at me.

“It means she wants to have Wilhelm’s babies.” The wand clarified.

“Oh, you want to make babies with him!” The desire to mate was common among not just mortal species but Divine Spirits as well due to their shared breath of conscious derivation. My cousin was part human at least, so as a mammal, it’s obvious he wants to reproduce, something ingrained in his inherited instincts.

It made me a little curious what those instincts were like, but I would never experience them. I’ve watched humans mate before, but it felt the same as if watching two different animals reproducing.

The Goddess sighed for some reason, rubbing her face.  

“There he is, that’s –“

“Oh, it’s another God!” I pointed

“—Folen, a newly ascended God of Asgard.” She finished.

“Greetings, Goddess Izanami. I apologize for my abrupt presence.” He bowed politely to her.

Hmm, he was much weaker than her.

“Hey, what’s that thing around your neck. It smells like a snake.” I looked at him.

Snake, poisonous, strong.

The Goddess looked at me, then at him. “What –“

A little snake poked out from under his shirt. “I’m just tagging along.”

“…..I wasn’t hiding it, I just didn’t have the chance to introduce him yet. Jormungandr is accompanying me.” The other God replied. He had pointy ears too, was he an Elf? “Due to concerns, I considered it more appropriate if I didn’t bring any other Gods with me.”

The Goddess nodded. “Your concerns hold merit. Even I am disinclined to step into that place.”

“What are you.” The Snake spoke, pointing its little tail at me. “You smell like the Earth and the Moon.”

“Oh, you have a good nose. Aren’t you the snake that’s supposed to wrap around the world? Why are you so small?” I reached to grab him, but he smacked my hand.

“I just shrunk myself to travel easier.” The little snake huffed. “It’s just some simple Magic. That annoying Yu-Long showed me how to do it years ago.”

Oh! That makes sense. “Can you turn big; I want to see how big you are.”

“Don’t turn full size in the middle of the city.” The Goddess rebuked.

“I wasn’t going to….” The snake hissed lightly, hiding back into the shirt of the Elf God.

“Ahem.” The Elf God cleared his throat. “Goddess Izanami….who?” He looked at us.

“Sorry, Folen. This is Wilhelm’s Cousin, I happened to stumble on her while coming to see you and she was…..new around here and felt it was appropriate to keep her within arms reach.”

“She’s a dunce.” The Wand said.

I didn’t know what that meant, but it felt like something mean.

“I see.” Folen nodded.

“She’s also looking for Wilhelm, so it was convenient to settle things simultaneously. Regardless, we can wait here at the camp near the entrance of the portal while a messenger goes to Yasaka.” The Goddess explained. “It may take a day or so, but we should hear a reply soon.”

“Are you looking for my cousin too, Old Man?” I asked the God.

“Cousin huh?” He rubbed his chin. “I guess I am little lady. He’s in a dangerous place, I wanted to give him a hand after everything he did for me and mine back in the Nine Realms.”

Oh, so he wanted to help my cousin, that means he’s someone I can trust. Gramps always told me to treat others who are helping with respect.

“Why can’t we just go in.” I pointed at the portal not too far away, I could feel a similar feeling to Avalon and the Reverse Side coming from it. It was a different flavor, but I remembered what he said about invading that place.

“It’s not appropriate to barge in while they’re conducting a proper war.” The Goddess replied. “And it’s their matter, it’s likewise not appropriate for Gods to meddle without consideration.”

“It’s a day, waiting isn’t a problem.” The Elf God spoke, waving his hand dismissively.

A whole day?

That wasn’t that long, but…..I already came this far, why couldn’t I just go inside? They were talking about something I didn’t care about and not paying attention to me.

I poked the Wand.

“….no.”

I poked it again.

“I won’t!”

I poked it a little bit harder with a sharp nail. “Fine! But don’t blame me if anything goes wrong.”

“What –“ The Goddess was about to same something, but the Wand suddenly surged with its reserves of Magical Energy.

“Piggy backing off the Established frequency. Calculating the distorted variables. Error: 47% chance of failure, aborting procedure –“

I poked it again.

“Override confirmed, establishing connection matrix and bridging spatial coordinates. Creating pathway, countdown to displacement – 3 seconds.”

I felt the Magic of Gramps wrap around me.

The Goddess looked at me confused, then I think she realized what was happening.

I smiled and waved goodbye, since she was going to have my cousin’s babies, that meant I would see her again and she was related to me as well!

Before the Magic activated, I grabbed the Elf God. He said he wanted to help my cousin, I should bring him along too. My cousin would probably thank me for that.

“What in the Hel –“

I didn’t hear what he said as we were teleported away

@***@

Cold.

It was really cold, even colder when I visited the two poles of the planet.

Unnatural Cold, like what’s in the Reverse Side of the world.

“What happened, where are we? What’s going on!?” The Elf God spoke, confused.

“Ah, I hate the cold! I’m a snake, I need warm weather!” The Snake wiggled under his collar.

“Dammit Arcueid, my calculations were meant only for teleporting you! And even with that, it was a 50/50 chance of them working properly! I have no idea where we are now and my readings are all messed up!” The Wand angrily flew around.

“It’s fine, we’re in the right place.” I could feel it, it had that flavor I tasted from outside.

“It’s not fine, this place is massive, do you have any idea where Wilhelm actually is?!”

“We can just find him, it can’t be that hard.” I looked around, but the blizzard was making it difficult to see though…. “Oh look, a big ice castle. Why don’t we go over there?”

“An Ice Castle?” The Elf God snapped his head towards me, his eyes widening for some reason. “….we should leave.”

The ground rumbled, and big ice and snow giants lifted themselves out of the ground, looking down on us.

“I don’t think we’re supposed to be here?”

“What gave you that idea, Arcueid!?” The Wand asked.

“Well, they feel hostile.” I pointed out. “They’re probably going to attack us.”

“That was sarcasm, gah!”

“I have a great deal many questions to be asking, but we have something that takes precedence it seems.” The Elf God took out a bow, wrapped in his Divine Power. “I can pick out a few hundred of those things, and I can sense the presence of thousands of other things coming our way from the direction of the Ice Castle.”

“Oh, I got an idea!” I quickly thought of a good way to deal with them all!

“….Dare I ask what good idea you have after teleporting us into the middle-adjacent of what I’m assuming is the Winter Court’s literal throne.”

“I need the snake to turn big.” I pointed at him.

“….Jormungandr, you promised to help.”

“Fine.” It hissed. “But you better keep your promise too. I could have been sleeping right now.” The Snake jumped off of the Elf God and grew huge in the blink of an eye.

Even bigger than those Elementals!

“Alright, little lady. I can tell you’re Ridiculously strong at even a glance, and if you’re related to the brat, it’s obvious you got some trump cards.”

I could do a lot of things….but I was cut off from the World Will while being here….well, I had a good idea anyways!

I nodded to him and grabbed the tail of the Big Snake. “I’m going to hit them with the Big Snake.”

The Big Snaked paused, then looked down at me. “Wait, what –“

I swung the Big Snake at the big Elementals.

@***@

A/N

Arcueid decides to go visit Wilhelm.

Arcueid rolls a Nat 1.

Arcueid beats up some motherfuckers with a Giant Snake.

Anyways, this was what was supposed to be added to last chapter, but it ended up being far too long and I just made it a chapter by itself. To explain Arcueid’s personality, she canonically has the mentality of a child and is an airhead, lacking basic common sense. But that isn’t to say she’s stupid. When it concerns things she knows about, she’s frighteningly intelligent.