Non-Canon Omake: The Heart of the bullshit, I mean cards! (Yugioh) (Patreon)

Wilhelm casually looked out at the horizon. It was nighttime, but one often doesn’t get a few this good.

Even if it was right above a massive city, and the stars weren’t very visible due to the light pollution, it was a marvelous sight.

Wilhelm made the mental note to take more giant blimp rides, if he could swing it.

“Mr. Schweinorg.” Someone called out to him. “Did you hear? You will be dueling Marik Ishtar next.”

The announcer—one of the event organizers.

“Oh? Yes, sorry, I was distracted. Mr. Ishtar, you say?” Wilhelm looked around, the ones gathered around giving him rather strange looks. Some are showing a bit of concern or pity for him.

Wilhelm’s eyes landed on his supposed opponent. A young man, sporting blond hair that looked almost white. He also had a glowing Egyptian-esque eye on his forehead.

And he was wearing gold, a lot of gold.

He had a whole…motif going.

He also cackled rather diabolically once the next match was announced.

“Kaiba, you have to stop this duel! He put Mai and Joey both in comas!” Yugi Moto—a boy with rather spectacular hair—cried out.

The man he was talking to, one Seto Kaiba, just snorted. “The tournament will proceed. If you want to quit, then quit; stop making a fuss about your ‘magical mumbo jumbo.’”

Wilhelm ignored all that. Truth be told, he had barely been paying attention to the happenings of the tournament itself. Just when he was supposed to duel or not, he just focused on having fun!

Who would have thought that there existed a world that operated off card games?

This was such a wonderful vacation; Wilhelm was having a lot of fun.

Wilhelm just smiled, walked up to him, and extended a hand. “Good luck to you, my friend. Let the best duelist win!” 

Everyone went silent. Even Marik Ishtar, the one with the glowing Egyptian eye on his forehead and the nailed evil laugh, seemed taken aback by Wilhelm’s casual demeanor.

“When I win, I’ll rip your soul from your body.” Marik replied with the same casualness.

“Don’t you mean ‘if’ you win?”

“No.” Marik said dryly. “When I win, you will experience pain beyond your wildest nightmares. A torment that stretched on for eternity.”

“Neat.”

“You will beg for mercy, and it will never come!”

“Handshake?” Wilhelm still offered, trying to be a good sport.

Marik’s nostrils flared. “You are a fool. But you will learn your errors in time.”

“Well, good luck to you. Let’s have a fun duel.” Wilhelm just smiled.

Marik stared at him, oddly silently. The evil alter ego of the man known as Marik Ishtar didn’t know what to make of him. After a moment, he just turned to walk away, deciding the fool was no longer worth his time.

His death would come soon enough; there was no point in getting upset.

“Wilhelm!” Yugi Moto ran up along with his friends. “You can’t duel him. You saw what he did to Joey and Mai!”

“Pardon? I wasn’t actually watching, admittedly. I didn’t want to spoil myself on their decks.” Wilhelm replied.

“You weren’t watching?” Yugi blinked. 

“Well, no one else here knows what my deck is. I didn’t want an unfair advantage, you know?” Wilhelm scratched his head. “It’s more fun this way!”

“Wilhelm, I know we don’t really know each other, but you have to listen to me! He’s evil, and that rod in his hand –”

“The golden one with the Egyptian motif?”

“Y-yes?”

“Is that solid gold?”

“Yes, I mean…maybe?’ Yugi was taken aback by the direction of this conversation. “That’s not the point—”

“Wouldn’t that be ridiculously heavy if it were solid gold?” Wilhelm asked. “Actually, is that pyramid around your neck also solid gold? Also, what’s with everyone sporting Egyptian apparel? Is that some sort of fashion these days?” Wilhelm fell out of the loop. “There was even that woman who had yet to duel who also had an Egyptian necklace and motif. Though her name was also Ishtar, so that sorta makes sense; they’re probably siblings.” He jerked his thumb to Marik. 

“.....” Yugi blinked a few times. “Look, none of that is important. But you have to listen to me; he’s evil, and he hurt a lot of people. You may not believe me, but he has magic, real magic. And he can use it through dueling to hurt you!”

Wilhelm blinked this time. “Wow, that sounds…fantastical.”

“Look, I know it sounds strange—”

“Yugi.” Wilhelm stopped him. “We’re flying on a massive blimp for the sake of playing a card game. Strange didn’t board with us, and we left him in the dust.”

“You know, when he puts it like that, it is kind of strange, isn’t it?” The girl next to him—was her name Tea? She was the one who agreed with him.

“Will Marik Ishtar and Wilhelm Schweinorg please step onto the dueling platform?” The announcer shouted.

“Oh, looks like that’s me.” Wilhelm perked up. “Wish me luck!”

“Wilhelm, wait—”

Wilhelm did not wait and walked up to the dueling arena.

He waved to Seto Kaiba, the guy in the impressive white trench coat and mullet. Kaiba returned a scoff and a glare.

“A bit chilly up here, don’t you think?” Wilhelm asked his opponent as he took his place on the opposite side of the dueling arena. “Actually, are these handrails even safe? A little bit of turbulence and someone could go overboard.”

“It builds character.” Kaiba, from the side, snorted disdainfully.

“Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.”

“You idiots signed away your right to sue when you entered my tournament.”

“I didn’t sign anything.” Wilhelm returned. “I was just handed my Duel Disk and told to have fun.”

“Wait, what?” Kaiba then looked oddly surprised, and he grabbed his collar, where he had a communication device. “Mokuba, pull up the contracts for the participants, find everyone’s name here, now!” He shouted loud enough for everyone to hear. A moment later he scowled. “What do you mean no one here signed the damn waivers!?”

There seemed to be more back and forth between them that Wilhelm couldn’t quite hear all of.

“That’s it, we’re taking a temporary break! This duel is suspended for now!” Kaiba announced.

“You finally listened to reason.” Yugi breathed a sigh of relief. “Now we can—”

“Until you idiots sign the damn waivers. I’m not getting sued because you idiots don’t know how to stay away from the damn safety railings!” He announced, and Yugi deflated as he continued to yell into his collar. “Mokuba, get the lawyers on the line! We needed airtight indemnity clauses yesterday!”

[Line Break]

It took a surprising amount of time to get it all done. 

Even Marik, who was cursing and announcing his evil intentions the entire time, reluctantly signed them just to get it over with and on to the duel.

That, and he threatened to disqualify anyone who didn’t sign.

One could argue that it was signed under duress, but Kaiba also told them they could speak to his literal army of lawyers.

“Well, we’re back.” Wilhelm smiled, making sure his deck was in place of his duel disk. 

He was having fun.

Marik stared at him with a vacant but rather hostile expression. “I’ve decided I’m going to have you jump off this blimp as your punishment for wasting my time.” He hissed.

“It’s a long way down.” Wilhelm responded.

“I know.” He hissed under his breath again, clearly getting frustrated. The golden eye on his forehead pulsed ominously.

“...it’s a lovely night for a duel, don’t you think?” Wilhelm said politely as he did his pre-duel shuffling of his deck. “Would you like to cut mine? I heard it’s polite to offer even if the duel disks auto-shuffle to prevent cheating anyways.”

“You don’t understand, do you? The shadows whisper to me, Schweinorg. They scream your name. They hunger for your soul.” Marik didn’t blink as he stared, well over a minute passing.

Wilhelm blinked. “That’s… concerning. You should probably get that looked at.”

Marik sneered. “I will drag your spirit into the Shadow Realm, tear it apart piece by piece, and feed it to the void. You will know agony before the end!”

Wilhelm frowned slightly. “Right. But before that—just so we’re clear—you’re using a 40-card minimum deck, right?”

“What?”

“The tournament rules,” Wilhelm said, gesturing casually to the Duel Disk. “Standard deck size. Don’t want to win by disqualification; that’d be kind of a downer.”

Marik’s mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again. “I—yes! Of course I follow the rules, fool! I am the harbinger of darkness, not some petty cheater!”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to insult. It’s just…had some guy do that a couple days ago, and it was kind of a letdown to win by a technicality, you know?” Wilhelm smiled, sliding his deck back into his duel disk. “Good luck to you. Should we roll dice to see who goes first?”

“I’ll go first!” He declared, eye twitching.

“...well, alrighty then.” Wilhelm shrugged.

“Be careful, Wilhelm!” Yugi called out. “Whatever you do, don’t let him summon his Winged Dragon of R!!!”

Wilhelm blinked, looking at Yugi and then back at Marik, who looked rather smug now. “Winged Dragon of Ra, huh? I heard about that; these ‘Egyptian Gods’ seem to be all the rage this tournament.”

Marik laughed evilly. “You have no idea what's in store for you. The very gods themselves support me. So yes, try your best, play and have fun, because when I summon my god, your soul will be forfeit!”

“Hmm.” Wilhelm pursed his lips. “Why Egyptian Gods?”

“What?” 

“What about the other gods? I mean, why are you so focused on Egyptian gods and the whole Egyptian motif?”

“...I will take far too much pleasure in ripping your soul apart.” He said in a monotone response. “First, I summon Gil Garth in attack mode!” 

[Gil Garth: Level 4]

[1800/1200]

The hologram lit up as the creature took the field.

“Then, I place three cards face down.” Marik declared, and then he took out his golden rod that he was keeping behind him somewhere. “Now, I’ll take this duel to the shadow realm!” He laughed as he held it up, and the world changed around them.

It got all purply, and there were menacing eyes in the void around them.

“What do you say now, mortal? Do you understand the pain and torment that no one sees in you”? Marik continued to laugh maniacally.

“Where were you keeping that rod?” Wilhelm asked, ignoring basically everything.

“.....I end my turn.” He seethed.

“My turn, draw.” Wilhelm called out, smiling lightly as he took his new card. “Well, this was a wonderful opener.”

“Play your pathetic tricks, mortal; you will rue the day all the same. The longer you take, the longer you will suffer for your arrogance.” Marik hissed in annoyance.

“I play First Generation Magus in attack mode.” Wilhelm called out.

[First Generation Magus: Level 3]

[800/500]

“I activate his effect. When First Generation Magus enters the field, I can search my deck for a card called ‘Heaven’s Feel Ritual’ and add it to my hand!” 

“Next, I play the spell card—Catalyst.” Wilhelm declared, and the faint outline of a sheath appeared in the spell and trap zone. “And now, I play a familiar card—Heaven’s Feel Ritual!” He slapped the spell card down, and a large magic circle appeared on the field. “With this card, if I control a Magus and a Catalyst, I can ritual summon a Servant monster from my deck! Come forth from the Ring of Restraint, Saber!”

On the field, she appeared, blonde hair, blue armor, a regal knight in appearance.

[Servant Saber – Artoria Pendragon: Level 8]

[3000/3000]

“What!?” Marik exclaimed in surprise. “I’ve never heard of this card before.”

There were similar remarks from the peanut gallery.

“Then you should thank me; it’s not every day that you can stand before a king. Meet Artoria Pendragon, the King of Knights.” 

She gave a curt nod towards her opponent.

“That is no ordinary monster.” Yugi called out, but his voice was far deeper, and he was taller.

“Holy shit, did you just go through puberty during my turn, Yugi?” Wilhelm exclaimed.

They ignored him like it was completely normal. Though Yugi stared at the Servant, the image of Saber turned her head to meet his gaze, and he recoiled slightly.

She gave him a little smirk, then focused back on Marik.

Though, in that small pause, Wilhelm had a different thought that made him take a small interlude. 

He briefly wondered if he could look up the dress of the hologram and if it captured her properly there.

Something he would need to test later.

Thoroughly test.

“Artoria, please show this monster the pecking order.” I spoke.

“Not so fast!” Marik announced as Saber was about to attack. “I activate the trap card, Mirror Force!”

“Oh wow, so much skill.”

“It destroys all your monsters in attack position!”

“Yeah, no.” Wilhelm responded casually. “I activate Saber’s special ability. Once per turn, if a spell or trap effect would destroy her, she can negate that effect.”

His Mirror Force was destroyed and sent to the grave.

“I activate my second trap!” Marik growled. “Negate Attack! Your monster’s attack is negated!”

Wilhelm shrugged.

“I place two cards down and end my turn.” Wilhelm replied as Saber took her position back on his side, looking a bit annoyed.

“Draw!” Marik shouted, doing a very exaggerated method of drawing from his deck. He then started to laugh. “I admit, your monster is impressive. But a king is no match for a god. I play the spell card Pot of Greed; this allows me to draw two more cards.”

“That seems pretty busted, but continue.”

“Now, Gil Garth, attack his Magus!”

“I activate my trap card—Command Seals.” Wilhelm gestured, and the trap card on the field flipped up. “If I control a Servant, this card gains three counters. I can remove one counter to activate one of its effects per turn as long as I control a Servant monster. I choose to activate its first effect; your attack is negated.”

“Then I respond by activating the special effect of a monster from my hand. During the battle step, I can special summon my Juragedo!”

[Juragedo: level 4.]

[1700/1300]

“When this creature is special summoned, I gain 1000 life points!”

[Marik Ishtar: 4000] → [Marik Ishtar: 5000]

“Now, reveal my last face-down card!” Marik shouted, throwing his hand out. “The spell card—Enemy Controller!”

“I chain my Command Seal!” I responded. “I can change one non-servant creature to defense mode; I choose your Juragedo!”

His monster huddled down defensively, but the damage was done.

“Then I take control of your Saber Servant!” The Spell card of his forced Wilhelm’s Saber over to his side of the field. “And since it’s still in the battle step, I’ll attack your Magus!”

Saber reluctantly followed his commands, slashing Wilhelm’s nameless Magus.

[Wilhelm Schweinorg: 4000 LP] → [Wilhelm Schweinorg: 1500 LP]

Wilhelm felt a strange stabbing sensation in his chest.

Marik laughed maniacally again. “How does it feel to be betrayed by your own precious monster!?”

“Oof, hurt more than I was expecting, a bit out of breath here.” Wilhelm said honestly.

Marik just continued to laugh. “You fool, that’s the shadows taking their meal, biting pieces of your soul! Every life point you lose is every piece of your soul you forfeit!”

Saber looked apologetic.

“That sounds rather unpleasant.”

Marik scowled. “Hmph, I’m not done yet! I haven’t summoned yet for my turn, and I now have three monsters!”

“Oh no!” Yugi called out.

“That means he’s going to summon his Egyptian God Card!”

“Egyptian God card!?”

They all seemed surprised and worried.

“That’s right, you fools. Now bow down before a true god. I sacrifice all three monsters to summon the one and only—Winged Dragon of Ra!”

[Winged Dragon of Ra: Level 10]

[?/?]

“When Ra is summoned, I can pay life points to increase its attack! I pay 4000 Life Points to feed the mighty god!” Marik grunted as his life points drained.

[Marik Ishtar: 5000 LP] → [Marik Ishtar: 1000 LP]

[Winged Dragon of Ra: Level 10]

[4000/4000]

“What do you have to say now, mortal!?”

“That looks more like a bird than a dragon.” Wilhelm said honestly.

“...those will be your final words.” Marik glared. “You move, mortal. Take your last pathetic turn before Ra obliterates your soul.”

“Wilhelm…don’t give up. Believe in the heart of the cards.” Yugi called out.

“Heart of the what?”

“The Heart of the Cards!”

“What’s that?”

“Your belief in your deck. If you believe in it hard enough, it will return that faith, and you’ll draw what you need!”

“That sounds like some bullshit.” Wilhelm replied. “Or cheating. Actually, yeah, that sounds like cheating.”

“It’s not cheating!”

“Mokuba, make sure to watch Yugi and his ‘friends’ closely for cheating.” Kaiba spoke rather loudly into his collar.

Yugi and his friends glared at Kaiba.

“I draw.” I said quietly, looking over my options.

Marik smirked. “How does it feel, your own ace monster betrayed you, used to summon my god!”

“Ah….” Wilhelm frowned slightly. “Artoria is certainly extraordinary, but she wouldn’t be my ‘ace’ in the same context you’re using.”

Marik frowned then. “Hmph, a last pitiful resistance in the face of annihilation. My Egyptian God Card is unbeatable.”

“Be careful, Wilhelm; his Egyptian god is powerful, and it has some hidden abilities!” Yugi called out again.

Wilhelm did actually have a good impression of him. Yugi seemed to constantly offer support or help when it looked like he needed it.

“You know, I was only half joking before.” Wilhelm smiled.

“Joking?” Marik’s eyes narrowed. “About what?”

“You all, I’ve been hearing this for days now: ‘Egyptian God this, Egyptian God that.” Wilhelm scoffed, and they all seemed to notice his carefree demeanor changed. “Frankly, I’m not impressed.”

“Watch your words, mortal. The gods will decide your fate soon enough.” The image of Ra seemed to intensify, as if it were insulted, letting out a screech that seemed to rock the blimp.

Wilhelm, however, was unfazed. “You lot seemed to overlook something important.”

“And what would that be?” Marik crossed his arms, seemingly annoyed by the conversation.

“This is Japan, not Egypt.” Wilhelm stated, slapping a card down. “I activate my own Pot of Greed, drawing two cards. Then I activate the Field Spell Card—Yomi.”

Rather quickly, the surroundings were replaced by a desolate landscape, an underworld. The ‘shadow realm’ around them seemed to shimmer slightly, as if something was pushing it away.

This didn’t go unnoticed by Marik or anyone else.

“What are you doing?!” Marik growled, taking a defensive stance. 

Wilhelm just smiled. 

“Then, I summon Chibiki Stone.”

[Chibiki Stone: Level 1.]

[100/100]

“Now, when Chibiki Stone is on the field, I can activate the spell ability of Yomi!” Wilhelm’s voice carried despite the winds whipping up. “I can banish Chibiki Stone and two monsters from my graveyard. First Generation Magus and Saber, in order to special summon one card.”

Everyone had to brace themselves; the blimp began to shake violently. Marik held an arm up in front of his face as the wind became almost too much for him to bear.

“Do you think Japan doesn’t have its own gods? Come out, Izanami-no-Mikoto, Goddess of Death!”

A pillar of unholy light descended, nearly knocking everyone off their feet. Ra was also pushed back with an ear-piercing cry from it.

It took a moment for everything to calm down enough for them to see.

There she stood, in her glory.

White robes, silver hair, and a godly presence no less than Ra’s overhead.

[Izanami-no-Mikoto, Goddess of Death: Level 10]
[0/0]

Everyone was stunned into silence, but Marik was the first to speak.

“What is this!?” He shouted, confused and perhaps feeling a bit of terror as the goddess glared at him. “There are other gods!?”

The world separated into two, a profound light pulsed of Ra in the air, and a swirling darkness emanated off of Izanami on the ‘ground.’

“You should have stayed in Egypt.” Wilhelm said sternly. “Now, Izzy here gains the attack of all monsters banished to summon her.” 

[Izanami-no-Mikoto, Goddess of Death: Level 10]

[0/0] → [3600]

Marik stilled, but then a smile crept back up. “So what, it doesn’t matter! Ra is unstoppable; his attack points are still higher!” \

“I activate my equip spell card – Amenonuboko – The Heavenly Jeweled Spear!” Wilhelm slammed down the spell card. The Divine Spear appeared on the field, and Izzy reached out one of her pale hands and gripped it firmly. “When Izanami holds this spear, her attack is doubled!

[Izanami-no-Mikoto, Goddess of Death: Level 10]

[3600] → [7200]

“What!? Impossible!”

“Izzy, show him who owns this land!” Wilhelm called out.

Izanami, gracefully, swung her spear, a casual action, but the world turned silently. It was like time and space had been sliced in half as Ra was split down the middle and dissipated.

With a reverberation, the Shadow Realm around them was also torn away, sending a shockwave out that nearly knocked everyone off their feet.

[Marik Ishtar: 1000 LP] → [Marik Ishtar: 0 LP]

He collapsed onto the ground, steam literally wafting off of him.

And for some reason, his hair fell down into a different style.

Everyone was silent as they watched.

Izzy just gave Wilhelm a gentle smile and faded away as the duel finished.

Wilhelm walked over to Marik to claim his victor’s rights. The loser had to give up their most valuable card.

Wilhelm grabbed the Winged Dragon of Ra from him.

He took one look at it, scoffed, tore it in half, and tossed the pieces away.

“I don’t need this trash.” He said casually, walking away.

@***@

A/N

Just a random, stupid omake idea I’ve had in my head for a while. A regular chapter will be out in a bit.