Non-Canon Omake: Chaldea Sponsored Master and Servant Relationship Seminar (Patreon)

Writing a bunch of random stuff at the moment, have an omake.

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Romani Archaman POV

“Alright everyone, thank you for coming –“ I blinked, looking around the room. “This is for Masters only…..Caster, Caster, and…Berserker… Rider, and Mash, why are you five here?”

“I won’t leave my Anchin even for a second~”

Ritsuka Fujimaru looked rather…..stressed by that statement.

“….I felt like I should be here to protect Master.” Mash said softly, glancing at Kiyohime.

I….had no argument against that.

“Miss Tamamo?” I looked at the other Servant hanging off of Samuel’s arm.

“Master needs his Foxy Wifey~”

He mouthed something to me, but I didn’t quite get it.

It probably wasn’t important.

“Cu Chulainn?” I looked at the odd one out of the bunch.

“Like hell I’m missing this dumpster fire.”

“…..okay then.” My self esteem took a large hit. “And, um…Marie?”

“I was curious!” The happy and expressive French Queen exclaimed. “Who knows, it might come in handy~”

“Alright.” That was much easier to deal with. And frankly, it’s the whole reason I was holding this per the directors orders. “Before we begin –“

The Door was literally blown open.

Saber came marching in with the Director screaming behind her.

“WHY CAN’T YOU USE THE DOOR LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!?”

Saber ignored her, her gaze landing on me. “Am I in the correct place?”

“….how would I know?” I whispered.

Her eyes narrowed as she read what words I wrote on the white board behind me. “I have a question for you, pathetic man.”

“Hey, there’s no need to be mean—”

“Does this knowledge you bestow only correspond to the bond between a Servant and Master or does it work….elsewhere.”

“Well…” I scratched my head. “I guess it doesn’t only relate to –“

She ignored me and took a seat. “You have my permission to continue.”

“Very subtle.” Cu snorted.

“Be quiet.” She hissed back.

I let out a sigh. “Is there anyone else coming?”

Miss Hinako peeked her head through the door.

“….come in.” I sighed again.

I was being sarcastic!

“Just for the record, I don’t actually need this. But my Servant wouldn’t stop bugging me.” Hinako strolled in with a Certain Avenger right behind.

“Bitch, I never said anything like that!” The former Dragon Witch scowled, stomping in as well.

She seethed, but took a seat in the corner, pretending to look put off by this whole thing.

Well…this was certainly more people than I anticipated…makes it feel a bit awkward too.

“Then, let us begin –“

“Am I late!?” Medea practically slid into the room. “I almost lost track of time!”

“Why are you here?” Pierre grumbled.

“Master, don’t you want to deepen our bond?” She laughed.

“No.”

“Good, cause I’m just here to watch the fun.” She chuckled, taking a seat too.

“Alright, is there anyone else? Da Vinci, are you going to be coming too?” I asked, to no one in particular.

“I’m watching from my Workshop.” Her voice sounded from the intercoms.

…..why am I the one forced to do this?

“We’re starting.” I declared, taking up the marker.

May as well get this over with.

Alright, let’s begin.

“Today, we’re going to be talking about Harems.” Since well….with how many Servants have been summoned already, we should tackle this issue before problems arise. “Now, to start off, many people think the emphasis is on sexual relations, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. You see, the inclusion of many members of what is termed a ‘Harem’ provides a structured and consistent method of emotional and instrumental support. Outside of the intimate nature of a relationship built upon more than two members, there becomes a cross-emotional bonding that does not always indicate a reciprocation of sexual or romantic feelings. Usually, like with most groups, one person becomes dominant outside of the ‘owner’ of the Harem. But this doesn’t mean you have to foster a type of ‘leadership’ within the Harem. On the flip side, this can lead to the development of a strong undercurrent of sub-political influence among the members vying for a perceived notion of power over the other members. We’ll cover this portion later and discuss how to properly manage inter-Harem politics that crop up. And you also must understand that this does imply that all within the group must like one another. However, there needs to be a form of mutual respect among every person involved. Trust and communication are the most important facet of a well maintained Harem. You must understand that Comfort is not universal!” I emphasized. “You need to make sure that every single person involved has their own individual preferences met! Without the concept of comfort being met within the Harem, it turns into competition. And don’t think this can be avoided by sex! It doesn’t matter how good you are in Bed, trust me. That’s why you need to foster a positive relationship between everyone involved.” I wrote some more things on the board, circling them for them to see properly. “That brings us to the next part, what constitutes ‘comfort’? Well, the main points will be, Emotional Support, Security and –“

I stopped, looking at the room as it was oddly quiet, which differed heavily from earlier.

“….why are you all looking at me like that?” I asked.

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A/N

For those of you who don't know, Roman is actually Solomon in hiding. Not the meat suit that Goetia is puppeting.