Kingdom Hearts 3: A Game For Nobody (Patreon)

It's time for my annual video essay about a popular game that will get an absurdly high number of views and have way too many people taking it seriously. This is kingdom Hearts 3, i know i already did a kingdom hearts 3 video this month but i accidentally had more thoughts. Now i must commence my 24 hours in the corner, which is where i send myself every time i post something resembling an opinion on the internet. Sins must be punished. 

To succeed on youtube is to embrace the role of a professional cynic, and opinions are the fucky fuel that lurches us assward along the old bandwagon trail. Don't get me wrong, my cynicism is poetry, but i hate that people are gonna see this and take it seriously. I'm just doing my job, people. It's okay to like things. I will play kingdom hearts 3 eventually and probably enjoy it for what it is, because i'm not actually autistic enough to waste good hate on a silly video game. It's Kingdom Hearts, you know what you're getting. Anyone who seriously, sincerely complains about it deserves a keyblade enema to unlock the inner child they've had chained away deep in their fucking poopy sphincter holes.

This game has Goofy and Winnie The Fucking Pooh in it so i'm sure it's probably a 10/10 masterpiece just like the first 2, which i do legitimately love, mainly because they effectively pull at some long stifled nostalgia for a time in my life when i felt like i belonged somewhere and still had a future. 

Welcome to the Just doing My Job Era of Endlett Je. The most black pilled, nihilistic saga so far. I'm so mentally checked out at this point that if it weren't for the few fucks i still give for my patron audience, i would simply float away on the waves of apathy generated by the motion of the algorithm ocean. As i mentioned in the video, i bought not one but two of these elder-millennial nostalgia-nightmares disguised as video games, so you better believe I'm also working on a similarly cynical Resident Evil 2 video. Praise Jebus. What a saint i am for blessing the world with the gift of yet more worthless cynicism and indolent youtube snark. 

Please enjoy my blatant clickbait, i hope my general self-awareness helps to make it tolerable, and that my ever-brilliant writing, editing, and delivery make this... content somewhat worthwhile in spite of itself. After all content is the medicine that keeps us content in this para-social parlor wall dystopia, hopefully whatever talent i have or humor i can muster can be the spoonful of sugar that helps it go down for you, and allows me to keep dumping my dreams into the escape plan that is my bank account.

Please ignore this post i'm asleep and i don't know what i'm saying. Everything is rad. I love complaining about video games it's cool. 

This fake ass opinion is already my most successful video this year. Why am i cursed to be so hilarious and wise?