Harvest Moon (but not the good one) (Patreon)

By "the good one" i of course mean Back To Nature, which in today's hideously inflated retro games market goes for around 3 and a half house payments and a firstborn son. The N64 one is also good and i swear i had them both back in the day but clearly life has since taken them both away from me like it's taken so much. 

Most likely, this game isn't even that bad, and i'm sure some of you probably even have fond memories of it that are currently causing you to unpledge from my shit-talking boomer ass. Well that's fine and dandy for you but it's not my Harvest Moon. It's not the one I remember. Therefore it is worthless to me. You'll understand someday. 

This is one of those "takes so long to start that by the time it gets fun i'm too annoyed and sleepy to play anymore" kind of games. If you can find me the man responsible for putting a 3 hour tutorial cutscene setting up the plot of a fucking Harvest Moon game, as well as some sticks and marshmallows, then i'll find you an electric chair and we can have us a bonfire.