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When Life Gives You Tangerines Episode 11 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-06-27 18:21:48
Imported:
2026-06
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Comments

DrCoffeeAddict

Also the actress that played the mother passed away about a week before the show started running so she really left a powerfull impression as one of her last appearances onscreen

Daniela Miño

This episode was too real I just love how this show is so relatable, I got so pissed off with his mom and they way his parents treated Gwansik and Aesun ; I also think that he was a good guy, no doubt that he loved her so much but it is true that love is not enough if you are not going to fight for what you want and what you need and it is a fact that he didn't do enough and it was really sad watching him ending like that, but it is also true what wesley said that even if he said that he will cut his family off at that time hi actually didn't want to and eventually that would have led to resentment growing between them, it was really sad but I think it was the right thing to do. Thank you guys so much for the reaction can't wait for next episode have a great week

Mariacake

ahh I'm crying again at the end 😭

seokjin

I don’t agree. Yeongbum barely tried to defend her I’m glad they didn’t reward him because to me his character did barely the bare minimum and I’m glad she didn’t hurt herself by staying with him

Chels

I went through my last breakup with this kind of situation and while they were hard times, what I took away from it "we weren't soulmates. She was their to help me heal and make it through some of the worst, scarier stuff of my life, and I was to help her grow and learn what she wants in a relashipship. We love each other, but we're better as friends so it's time to move on and learn to stand on our own" that's what I felt from this ep. It is cruel that sometimes things work out like that, but in the end you do more damage trying to fight what you both are denying. By the time me and my ex broke it off my main thought was "I just wished I know what I know now a year ago, and I wish I knew how I'm going to live without her going forward" and that was the scariest hardest part but as she said "the living go on living" you find your real people and feel greatful for the ones in the past. I don't think it was a waste of her time at all. There was a purpose for them to be together and there for each other and then then they surpassed the need. Sad but beautiful writing.

Vishwa Joshi

This is one of the few tropes in media i have seen more in real life than in fiction! and that realization just made me sad!

Nina

Ah i really enjoyed watching with you guys.

Nina

I think a key thing that would have made them incompatible even if the mom wasnt a factor, was how much she valued independance, and how dependant he was. He grew up dependant on his family and mom and yes, they were both precious to their parents, but IU was raised to find independance and inner strength, wheras he was raised to follow and depend on family and be more polite or meek. He could try to do big gestures when he was with her, and it seems romantic but it feeds his ego and is manipulative and not a mature, practical discussion. he would have put her in the place of his mom eventually, because he couldnt find his own independance and he didnt truly respect or value her choices or independance and he pitied her. She would have resented his clinginess as weakness eventually and would have felt pressured to change into a caretaker for him instead of the more equal relationship and equal respect she craved. He would have seen himself as a savior and protector with his money and his sweet protective words, but really right under the surface there was a subconscious reinforcement of gender roles and a babying of her that would have shown up in their relationship as a disrespect of her autonomy. It shows in how he asked if she could live without him, even when it was so obvious she could and had already the years he was gone. Why would he even put that in her head to minimize the efforts of her whole life like that. Why would he use that to manipulate her in that moment? of course she could live without him, she values and believes in being strong enough to live on her own, relationships for her just arent about that kind of codependancy. Through their whole relationship he keeps underestimating and undervaluing her independance, his comments about her apartment, her job, if she can live without him. His constant worry about her can be sweet but it also is exactly what she fought with her mom about. She doesnt want to be coddled and it seems disrespectful that he constantly brings up her safety as a reason she needs him, not even making it about her truly, not trusting her decisions or capabilities. even his big speech in the hospital shows he is not reading her body language. He doesnt listen to or see her clearly. Its like he is playing a role and she is anyone he would have happened to want, he doesnt love her for who she actually is. Even how they met was presumptuous of him. He is actually very pushy and clingy. She told him she had a headache and he kept going on loudly, making her injury about himself and his worry and barely even calming enough to ask about her, asking her to marry him right then and there even though she was probably not feeling like talking about something that serious in front of her mom and everyone right then. Asking her in a vulnerable moment for her, taking advantage of her maybe feeling like she needed someone with her right then. He made her baby him and wipe his tears while she was the one who was tired and sick. Tbh it wasnt romantic it was self centered. I think the nurse clocked that it was performative and manipulative, insensitive, immature, and self agrandizing. In a movie it may be romantic, but she wasnt starving for love or even afraid like he was at that point. He couldnt even recignize her unease and how uneven their reactions were. He didnt even see her. he would have done the same with any woman because he felt it was the romantic way to act but something is only romantic if both partners appreciate it. He made her near death experience about their relationship instead of about her as a person. He tried to play hero and feed his ego but he insensitively disrespected her home and independance again, and didnt listen to her or focus on her. He made her take care of him in her own tired traumatic moment. It didnt cross his mind that she may be embarrassed or tired or that her apartment being dangerous may have hurt her pride and she may not have wanted an 'i told you so' right then. Agreeing to marry him out of trauma or a need for protection or safer housing isnt a level headed or romantic decision right then. I do believe they cared for eachother, i dont think he was purposefully that way, but i dont think they would have been the person either of them really would respect. Her strong willed independance would have made him feel weak or insecure, unloved, or worried about her, and his dramatics, big gestures, softness, impracticalities, and dependance on his family, his mom, and blind spots about money would have made her feel mean for enforcing her boundaries and weak if she didnt. she wouldnt have respected any of it as mature or grounded or practical. It would have started to feel like a weight on her. Like a child to coddle, and she herself wouldnt have felt seen as her own independant self or respected for who she was, she would have started to feel like she was expected to play a role for his mom and a role of doting flower fragile wife for him. It wouldnt have ended up so different than asun marrying the chief, sure he wouldnt have been hateful like that, but his mom would, and he wouldnt be able to actually stand up to it, and he would have eventually expected her to get over it or become that way for her kids too. she would still be forced into a role that doesnt fit her and benefits him. He would have seen her being mistreated and staying with him as a proof of her love for him and that is toxic, he still in the end wanted her to put herself in that position. He had no plans of moving away from his mom, we know that because he didnt. So he could have his ego fed by his mom and wife fighting over him and never take accountability or have to make boundaries. They wouldnt have worked. Imagine how they would have been raising kids? He would have just expected her to follow traditions and he would have been loving and sweet in his way, sure, but it would likely feel like she was alone trying to do the hard things and set boundaries if he was that permissive. Its a bit like weaponized incompetance, he can say he tried all he wants but if he isnt good at it against his mom then he doesnt actually ever have to make that choice. He probably loved her. He probably loved that she was a strong woman, because his mom is, but his mom is codependant on him, and that might have been something he subconsciously would have sought out, and defined love by, and eventually he may have expected her to make all of the decisions for them while also centering him in her life, taking resentment from his mom, taking resentment from him if she enforced her boundaries too much, and she just never would have played those games or become the type of woman he actually wanted because she always had strong boundaries and he never respected them or understood them, they were frivolous to him. If she did start to be codependant with him and make too many decisions for him though, i dont believe she would have respected him for it either, and he would have felt stiffled by it eventually anyway. It was more than just about his mom, he showed that he didnt have enough of a sense of self or stand for anything even when he was being hurt, and he didnt understand or love her enough to truly respect a lot of her boundaries and choices or to stand up for her. for someone who respects and values boundaries and independance so much, how could she respect him seeing that about him? The sad thing is he might have been happy if he also could have let go and stopped clinging to the fantasy of her. I think its a bit of a copout for him to totally blame his mom in the end, but its very in character. it shows he still didnt learn that he has agency over his own life and own choices, that he could have moved on and learned, he could have married someone who wanted the same as him, if he couldnt cut his mom out then he could have been commited to his own happiness, but he still gave his mom control of his happiness. He still blamed the woman in his life for everything even though he claimed he was doing it for her happiness. It is subtle and i do really feel for him, but i really think he has a character flaw too, maybe because of his mom, he was never going to be happy if he was unable to make happiness happen for himself, he kept looking for it in other people, he didnt know how to independantly take responsibility for his choices and happiness or how to respect other peoples decisions and make his own boundaries. Sure, his mom was controlling and awful, but he was an adult at that point, there has to be accountability eventually. you cant live your life for someone else and then resent them for your unhappiness. Tbh i think he was more like his mom than it seemed on the surface. He didnt have his own boundaries or know how to make his own life and happiness without depending on other people for it and he didnt have enough self respect to accept their breakup, learn from it, and find his own happiness, he kept blaming her and his mom as if he couldnt have a life without her, it is that codependancy and i think no matter who iu was, he would have fallen into that trap because he didnt actually love her he was desperate for someone to give him happiness, someone to protect and control and rely on and build codependance with. The mom learned it the hard way too, because she was hurt by his resentment of her but she loved him, she could see that he wouldnt stand up for her, but he probably wouldnt stand up for his wife either, he was raised that way and ultimately he is also hurting the people he loves and himself and he should be taking respensibility, but just like his mom blaming everyone else, he blames her and IU and indirectly, his wife. he loves in a similar codependant way as his mom i think, if he still cant let go of his ex from his 20s, even while married to some other poor woman. he self destructs and blames his unhappiness on everyone else.

🪼 Isha 🐾

I don't even know if you'll see this or not but let me breakdown Asian culture for you..... The reason devouring mom exists is because in patriarchal societies women are often housewives/mother. Being housewives they are seen as less important & that their voice/existence doesn't matter. They are just a "maid" "nanny" So inherently "how well your child does in academics, how well do they behave, how well do they get married" becomes more or less a GOLD MEDAL to how well you've performed in your "job" as a housewife/mother. How well you've brought up your children. It becomes a BADGE OF HONOR. People judge you on the base of your child. That is why devouring mom exists. Because like the character said "YOUR LIFE IS MY LIFE. YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS ARE MY ACHIEVEMENTS" "How well my child does is a way of justifying myself & my importance in this society" They are trying to find the respect that they were never given.