The Newt and Demon - Book 7 Chapters 58,59,60 (Patreon)

Chapter 58

Dig In

While Elrin was busy soloing a super-strong dungeon by himself like a badass, Theo spent his time studying the interaction of magical energies. Within a dungeon, things were weird. Early on, the alchemist had observed the interactions between heavenly energies and dungeons. The energies within this dungeon were potent, yet the reagents within didn’t reflect that. They were normal, from what he could tell.

Theo had fun with his studies. He wasn’t certain he learned more than he knew before, but it gave him something to do. Even Tresk had run off to participate in the fight. Well, she stole some kills from Elrin, but that was her idea of contribution. Testing both the Iron Cap and LIzard’s Beard mushroom would be fun once he got back to the lab.

Of course, Theo had to update his people about where he was. A little underground adventure was fine, but his people would throw a fit if they couldn’t find him by the time night fell. With the exciting projects dragging their attention away from things like missing alchemists, he wasn’t surprised with the lukewarm responses he got in the interface. So, he turned his attention back to the dungeon and all the weird crap there, eventually catching up to Elrin and Tresk, who were busy clearing their way through the endless tunnels.

Theo passed through yet another tunnel, shaking his head as he saw how wide the cavern was. It was large enough to be considered a small town by kobold standards. Etched into the walls—starting at the ground and going all the way to the ceiling—were builds hewn into the rock.

“Looks like a city,” Theo said, squinting as he looked into the distance. The glowing fungus only did so much to illuminate the area, especially at a distance. “Exactly how big is this dungeon?”

“Bigger than the others I’ve seen in this world, but not as large as some I’ve been in,” Elrin said, scanning the area. “Unfortunately, we’ll have to clear everything to reduce the amount of magical energy. I don’t think the core will fall until all of that power has dissipated.”

“Oh no, we have to kill a bunch of monsters,” Tresk said in mock dismay. “What a cruel world we live in.”

Of course, the marshling was excited to defeat more monsters, but that left Theo bored and unable to occupy his mind. At least he had the dungeon to study and the various reagents he would find by going deeper. Tresk and Elrin rushed into the cavern to confront the endless hordes of strange kobolds while the alchemist inspected the area. He went along behind them at first, inspecting the bodies of the dead. Some were standard kobolds, if a kobold could be considered standard at all, while others were chimeric mixes. It wasn’t the first time he had seen a blend of natural creatures, but these were different.

The chimera kobolds were the base kobolds mixed with just about anything, from normal creatures like turtles, geese, and horses to more exotic fare like goblins, bird-people and, even stranger of all, dolphins. One example of the kobold-dolphin hybrid flopped on the ground before him, its fat tail pumping uselessly out of water.

Theo had to catch up to Elrin and ask a few questions. The man knew more than he was letting on, and Theo had questions about the nature of such a strange dungeon.

“Why would the system combine something like a kobold with a dolphin?” Theo asked. “It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.”

Elrin slashed his halberd through the air, removing the head of a chimera with ease. “The system isn’t attempting to create anything useful; it’s creating them at random. I experienced this a lot back in my world. This happens when the dungeons go haywire.”

“I mean, we saw this in the negative dungeon, but we had a very good idea of why it was happening. However, I just don’t see the purpose here.” Theo said, crouching to inspect a kobold that had been mixed with a sheep. “What purpose could something like this serve? Is it random experimentation to find the best kobold?”

“When I fought the chimeras, the shade controlling the dungeons used this technique to find the best,” Elrin said, nodding in agreement. “He kept those winners back, putting them in a pool.”

“So, someone exploited the randomness of the dungeons,” Theo said, nodding. “See, that part makes sense.”

“Indeed. What we see here is leftovers from that feature that he exploited,” Elrin explained. “This is a painful echo of that. Which is why it must be destroyed.”

It seemed more like the system’s job than theirs. Well, since Theo sat on one of four thrones, perhaps it was his job. But he wasn’t empowered to do it. Whatever, at least it was fun watching Elrin and Tresk slaughter the weird monsters.

It took a long time to clear the entire dungeon. Unfortunately, Theo didn’t find any other reagents he thought he could use, but he collected plenty of mushrooms. One problem with reagents like this was that once he was out, he was out for good, and it was unlikely another kobold dungeon would appear below the town. So, he had to collect as much as he could. The only upside was that he could replicate the effects using alchemical infusion.

It took almost four hours to clear the entire dungeon. It would have taken much longer if the monsters had posed any threat to the party. However, since they could cut through each monster with little effort, they zipped through it. The final boss was a horrid amalgam of so many different types of monsters that it couldn’t even move. Elrin made quick work of it and presented them with concerning news.

“You’ll need to exit the dungeon before I take care of the dungeon core,” Elrin said, gesturing to the floating orb of metal and energy. “I can destroy the dungeon, but it will likely collapse quickly, and I’d rather you two not get destroyed with it.”

“How about you meet us back in town for some dinner?” Theo said. “I don’t know if anybody’s still awake, but we could make something at the manor.”

Elrin appeared to consider the offer for quite some time before giving a sharp nod. “Yeah, that sounds fine.”

Theo nudged Tresk, and they both dropped through the space between realities. Using the Dreampassage skill within a dungeon was weird. It was like piercing through a few veils, rather than one. Since he had no intentions of coming back using that path, it was easier than expected. The alchemist steered them to the central meeting place in Tero’gal, intent on having a chat with Belgar before they headed back home for an enjoyable meal.

Theo landed at the crossroads, pausing as he set his jaw. Looking down the road to the west, he saw the path the spirits had once used to rollerblade. They had shifted through many trends, thanks to the time-dilation effect of the area. But that effect was mostly gone, leaving the locals to develop at a more reasonable pace. Their spiritual bodies were gone, replaced again with flesh and blood. The results were interesting, rendering them more like the mortals on the realm below.

“Always a pleasure when you drop in,” Belgar said, trotting down the road with a smile on his face.

“Seems like I’ve been neglectful recently,” Theo said, watching as Tresk went dashing down the street. Even the mountain in the west no longer held both thrones of power. One was here, and the other was on the moon. On a sunny day like this, there were many people running around, living their lives. They no longer spent their days just having fun, instead performing all the tasks required by mortals. “Yet they seem happy.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Belgar said, slapping Theo on the back. “Tero’gal is its own thing now. You don’t have to worry about managing it like one of your towns.”

“I only have one town. Well, Broken Tusk is a city, now,” Theo said.

“Don’t sweat it,” Belgar said. “Wanna hear about a war that broke out last week?”

Theo sighed. Time moved at a two-to-one ratio here. Not quite as fast as before, but still quick enough for wars to break out, apparently. “What happened?”

“More elves, although that won’t surprise you,” Belgar said. “We thought the planet’s ability to change itself to stop people from being bad boys had been expended. But a small nation of elves to the north tried to start a war, and the planet stepped in.”

“That’s actually good news,” Theo said, brightening considerably. “Do you think the planet’s ability to shift like that will change after the system resets?”

“All I know is all worlds are going through a lot of changes,” Belgar said. “We’re not sure why, but we’re not complaining.”

The system exploited by the ascended people was one designed to turn realms, which were collections of influence, into places. Those places were often conceptual, but sometimes appeared as planets or masses of land. The Bridge of Shadows was the purest example of that. Uz’Xulven’s bridge had been such an excellent form of a realm, it had been integrated into Tero’gal as a permanent fixture. Drogramath’s world was a bunch of potion bottles with worlds in them, which made no sense. Something like that wasn’t carried forward.

“What about the local system?” Theo asked. “Do you guys have cores and classes?”

“Kinda,” Belgar said. “Here and there. Some people have classes and stuff while others don’t. Doesn’t seem to be logic behind it, to be honest.”

“But things aren’t going poorly?” Theo asked.

“Yeah, Tero’gal is taking care of us,” Belgar said, waving a dismissive hand.

“Any dungeons or other things to note?”

“Nope. No dungeons. Not really any monsters” Belgar said, scratching his chin. “Well, we have wild animals… Does that count?”

“I don’t think so. Anyway, I need to check up on you guys more often,” Theo said. “Even if it doesn’t seem as though you need it…”

After sharing some more pleasantries with Belgar, Theo and Tresk jumped to Alex’s location back on the mortal plane. She had already settled herself into the barn for the night, so they left her there. Instead, they departed and made their way to the manor. Both Sarisa and Rowan were asleep for the night. Rowan had wedged himself between a bush and the wrought iron gate in the backyard while Sarisa slept in her room on the first floor.

“Let’s fry up some sausages!” Tresk said, perhaps with a bit too much excitement.

Yet Theo still smiled, sneaking into their manor and firing up the artifice controlling the stove. “Where do they keep the pans?” he asked, searching through the cupboards.

“Up one,” Tresk said, gesturing to the top-most cabinet. “To keep the heavy stuff away from me. Little do they know, I have a stool.”

Tresk withdrew a wooden stool from the shared inventory.

“Ah, so that’s what you keep the stool in there for. Interesting,” Theo said. “I thought it was just more junk.”

Snatching a few links of dried sausages hanging by the sink, Theo got to work on frying them up. He had little else in mind other than frying them, but whatever. They’d eaten weirder things for dinner. Half-way through cooking the sausages, Elrin arrived, his giant tiger following into the manor with loping strides.

“Hey, just have a seat,” Theo said, gesturing to the table with his wooden spatula. “I hope you like sausages and… Let’s see what we have in this crate… Oh. Sarisa put some omelettes in here.”

“Just dump the sausages atop the eggs!” Tresk said, pumping her fist in the air.

Theo withdrew three plates of the pozwa egg dish from the storage crate, leaving the sausages to crisp up as he distributed the plates. Tresk’s excitement bubbled over and she dashed over to the chair, jumping into a chair and tipping it over backwards. After she righted herself, she placed her hands on the table and drummed her fingers across the surface.

Once the sausages had the right amount of crispiness on both sides, Theo distributed them between all three plates. Along with the crispy sausages came a faint layer of grease that poured over the already-glistening omelettes. Tresk had already been salivating, but if she had to wait any longer, the alchemist assumed she would have a meltdown.

“Dig in,” Theo said, trying not to laugh as he returned the pan to the kitchen. After a simple application of Cleansing Scrub, he left the kitchen as clean as he had found it.

“Nothing wrong with a simple meal,” Elrin said, cutting his food with his fork and taking a bite. “Not bad.”

“Is freaking great,” Tresk said, shoveling food into her mouth.

Most of all, Theo was shocked at the lack of conversation. He realized everyone was hungry, of course. It had been a long day in the dungeon, and everyone was tired. Well, Theo and Tresk were tired. Elrin seemed mostly to enjoy the comfort of having a warm meal.

“So, do you get tired?” Theo asked, finishing up his plate.

“Eventually,” Elrin said. “It would take quite a while, though.”

“Like… how long?” Tresk asked.

Elrin shrugged. “At this point, a few months of combat.”

“Months?” Theo asked, shaking his head. “You’re a monster.”

“I’ve heard worse,” Elrin said with a wink.

The meal was certainly relaxing, but Theo was ready to head into the Dreamwalk. After making some moss tea for everyone to enjoy, it was time for bed. Elrin was gracious enough to step out. The alchemist was mostly surprised since he couldn’t get the man to stick around for more than a few hours normally. Perhaps they had actually bonded a bit. If only a bit.

Chapter 59

Special Mushrooms

“I see someone got into my food,” Sarisa said, glaring with accusation at Theo as he descended the stairs. “And now we got a hobo living in the garden. Well, another hobo. My brother is a welcome hobo.”

Theo craned his neck, looking out the back window to find Elrin and his tiger hanging out in the backyard. “Strange. I thought he’d be gone by now.”

“You fed him. Like a stray Marsh Wolf, he’s gonna stick around,” Sarisa grumbled. “Gonna take me a minute to make food. Since you ate it all.”

Tresk might’ve been upset, but Theo wasn’t. She got over it quickly, walking with the alchemist into the garden. Elrin had his hood pulled up, the fine material of the garment casting a long shadow over his face. He didn’t look up, still scratching the tiger behind the ear.

“Thought you’d be gone by now,” Theo said, repeating the sentiment he had expressed to Sarisa.

Elrin took a long time to respond. Drawing in a steady breath, he looked up and nodded at the alchemist. “Maybe I’ve been doing everything by myself for too long. Haven’t found a monster I couldn’t kill since coming here.”

“Wow, sounds like he needs something,” Tresk said, speaking into Theo’s mind. “Exploit his neediness. Home boy said he’s a good crafter. Get me a dagger or twelve.”

“What do you need help with?” Theo asked. Elrin had already mentioned how he might need help with something. But what could it be?

“Two things,” Elrin said. “I have a few shards to place on that continent you call Tarantham. But the Shard Network has warned me about an unexpected force waiting for me.”

“Eleventh hour plot twists?” Tresk asked. “In Broken Tusk? No way! Why can’t you just take Fenian, Twist, or Jan?”

That was an oddly pointed question coming from the lizard. If it was the power of a throneholder Elrin needed, he could take Fenian. They already had history, so why not? That left only one option.

“Because the void is involved somehow,” Theo said. “What do you know?”

Elrin shrugged, standing and looking west. “I can survey an area for the world’s energy. There’s something strange near one of the old resting places for a shard. Once I place it, we’ll see what kind of plot unfurls. At that point, I may need your secret core’s power.”

“Not much of a secret if everyone knows about it, huh?” Theo asked. “You can count on me.”

“And me, if you need it. I’m the Herald’s hand on the mortal plane,” Tresk said, folding her arms.

“Might as well bring the whole gang,” Elrin said. “Minus the other guy.”

“Khahar,” Theo said. “We don’t know what’ll happen if we bring him here, so best if we leave him where he is. But we can ask him to look out in the middle realms.”

“I like that name for them,” Tresk said with a giggle. “Middle realms… Wait, what’s gonna happen to the moon? Should we start a space program?”

“My stance on the moon hasn’t changed. They’re on their own.”

“Poor moon people…” Elrin said, trailing off.

The group talked for longer. Theo wanted to grill him on a few things, but Elrin truly didn’t know more than he was letting on. There was a surge of magical energy in the area near Tarantham City, and he couldn’t predict what would happen when the shard was introduced. Before that could happen, there were a few things he had to get done. Which meant Theo and Tresk were on standby while he got ready.

“Breakfast is ready!” Sarisa shouted from inside the manor, drawing the attention of the group.

“Guess I could eat before I go,” Elrin said. He was the first to head in, leaving Tresk and Theo in the garden to share a rapid series of thoughts.

Concerns, hopes, and a desire for more of the omelette Sarisa had made last night. The sausages had added a nice touch, bringing much needed heart-eroding grease to the table.

Sarisa, Rowan, Theo, Tresk, and Elrin all gathered at the table. It wasn’t the omelette they expected, but still looked delicious. Sarisa got her hands on some kind of potato and had fried those before mixing them with cheese and scrambled pozwa eggs. After eating a bit too much food last night, the alchemist held back. He ate half the plate and placed the other half in his inventory for later.

“As exciting as this has been, I need to start my work,” Elrin said, nodding to everyone seated at the table. “Thanks for the hospitality.”

And then he was gone, leaving everyone shaking their heads.

“At least he was nice about it this time,” Tresk said. “Our boy is learning social skills.”

“Seems like he spent a lot of time alone before coming here,” Theo said. “Anyway, think we should talk to Fenian about this?”

“Nah. He’s adventuring with the boys north of Gronro,” Tresk said.

“Wow. Surprised he’s even on the same continent.”

“Is he, though?” Rowan asked. “Fenian split our continent into pieces, so is it still the same continent?”

“Yeah, still the same continent,” Theo confirmed. “Just different islands on the continent. Well, I better shut up before one of you spontaneously schools me on geography.”

“Good idea,” Tresk said with a wink.

But it was nice having the boys nearby. Fenian still had access to the Bridge of Shadows, making whatever trips he wanted to take out into the world simple enough. Theo suspected he wasn’t doing much trading right now. The moment the elf began large-scale trading operations again, was the moment he was up to something. That’s when the Southlands alliance would scramble to help him in whatever weird mission he had created.

Life with Fenian was never boring.

“And now I return to my boring life of alchemy,” Theo said.

“I really don’t know how you think what you do is boring,” Tresk said, folding her arms. “Your potions are cool.”

Theo smiled, patting Tresk on the head. “Thanks for that. Things are gonna get much more exciting soon enough. Once the arena is done.”

“Hell yeah!”

With the administrators covering the running of the nation and Ziz and the boys taking care of the arena project, Theo was free to screw around in the lab. As long as Salire had space for him to do so. Even at the early hour, she was already hard at work in the lab.

“And I left you a few stills,” Salire said, gesturing vaguely to the room. “Just had a feeling in my bones you’d need it.”

Theo looked around the lab, finding five stills waiting for him to use. “Wait, really?”

“No, of course not. Just had some extra space for you.”

Theo clicked his tongue, watching as his assistant laughed at him. Well, she would have her own assistant soon enough. “Perhaps we really need a second alchemy lab… I’m about to go pillage Tarantham so I can get one.”

“Good luck,” Salire said with a lazy wave. “Round up a few of your high-level friends to make it happen.”

Theo started with the Ironcap Mushroom, starting two stills for the Ironskin and Quench property. Next he processed Lizard Beard Mushrooms to extract the Scales and Tails properties. If only for the comedy factor, he wanted to see what those would produce. The alchemist had already spent a lot of time considering what the properties would produce while he was in the dungeon, so he was eager to see if he was correct.

The first essence to be completed from this batch was the Ironskin Essence. The liquid was a clear essence with a silver sheen. It almost appeared there were flecks of metal floating inside. There were no surprises when he combined the water and catalyst. It bubbled slightly, but the flecks of metal on the inside seemed to break that up. After stoppering the vial, he held it at arm's length and inspected the result.

[Ironskin Potion]

[Potion]

Rare

Created by: Theo Spencer

Purity: 90%

Drink to gain Ironskin effect for 5 minutes.

Effect:

Imbiber’s skin is turned to iron, increasing their defense significantly at the cost of mobility.

“Hey Jane, come check this out,” Theo said, holding the potion out for her to inspect.

Jane took the potion, examining it from several angles before nodding with approval. "This is just another version of the Barkskin potion," she said. "That one is decently popular with adventurers, but mostly those who want to be on the front line with a shield. This one will be even more popular. Is the reagent hard to get?"

"Not as long as we can find it in the caves below the city. I thought that would be a pretty decent potion, but I suppose we still need to test it."

"What else are you testing today?" Jane asked, leaning over the other stills and giving them a good sniff. "It's something I've never seen before, by the smell of it."

"The next property is quench," Theo said, holding the glass flask filled with the essence up for her to see. This one was slightly strange. With a murky gray color, the alchemist had the feeling this was a potion someone would pour over their weapon to gain a powerful effect.

Jane watched as Theo finished brewing the potion. It had a more viscous consistency. The bubbles that rose to the top of the mixture popped and sent hot globules of an oily substance flying everywhere. The alchemist placed his hand on top of it, feeling the sting of the potion but unwilling to allow it to contaminate his other projects. When it was done, he shook his hand and held the murky potion up for both him and Jane to inspect.

[Quench Potion]

[Potion]

Rare

Created by: Theo Spencer

Purity: 92%

Applying this potion to any bladed object will make it tougher as though quenched in oil.

Effect:

Quenches a bladed item. The quality of the quenching depends on the purity of this potion.

“Oh! That’s a unique effect,” Salire said, taking a note in her notebook. “We haven’t seen something like that yet, have we?”

“Just the Sharp Potion,” Theo said. “But that’s only a temporary effect.”

Instead of adding a temporary sharpness to a bladed weapon, this item acted like a blacksmith quenching a weapon they had just finished. Since the potion didn't mention it, Theo assumed this effect was permanent.

"Okay, you've got to stick around for the next two potions," Theo said, rubbing his hands together. "And I need you to drink one of them."

"I absolutely refuse to drink a potion, especially when you've got that face on," Jane said.

"How about this? I drink one of the potions, and you drink the other. I'll even let you pick first."

Jane offered Theo a concerned look, but eventually nodded. "Okay, fine, let's do it."

The chances Theo would come out on top in this were fifty-fifty. If he was forced to take the Tails Potion, it didn’t matter. He already had a tail. He got to work on bottling the two potions, finding that both performed normally during the brewing process. There was something strange about them he didn’t recognize, but neither seemed harmful. That’s when Salire’s escalation of the bet came to a head.

“So, how about we make it better,” Salire said, leaning over the worktable with a devious smile. “No inspecting the potions before I pick. Neither of us gets to know what’s in there.”

“Let’s go,” Theo said, finishing both potions off and placing them on the table. “Your chariot awaits.”

Both potions looked similar. Each was effervescent with a pale green-blue color. Salire passed her hand over one and then the other. Her brows knit as she internalized the decision. “This one,” she said, scooping one potion up. She smiled, handing it over to Theo. “For you. I’ll have the other one.”

Theo took his potion, removing the stopper and holding it up. “To your health.”

Salire giggled to herself, downing the potion in one go. “Ugh. Tastes like slime.”

“How do you know what slime tastes like?” Theo asked, chugging his own potion. “Ugh, mine tastes like slime, too.”

Both Salire and Theo waited for something to happen. The effects of the potions weren’t immediate, but the alchemist eventually felt something stirring inside him. It started as an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach, but eventually migrated to his… tail. It swished back and forth a few times and he got dizzy. The world seemed to tilt to one side for only a moment before going back to normal. Standing and staring down at the ground and swaying slightly, he felt more sure-footed.

“Wait, which one did I get?” Theo asked.

When the alchemist looked up, he saw which potion he had taken. Salire’s skin was covered in a thin layer of iridescent scales. She had a broad frown on her face as she scratched at the scales forming on her forearms. “Yeah, I got the bad one… Why did you get the good one?”

Theo looked back at his butt. His tail swept from side-to-side, slightly fatter than it had been in the past. “Oh. I got the Tails Potion.” The alchemist rubbed his hands together, doing his best to guess what the potion did. He suspected it made him steadier on his feet. With a few powerful swipes to either side, Theo nodded with approval.

“This potion is pretty good,” he said. “I think you got the losing potion.”

“Maybe… I feel sleeker,” Salire said. After a beat, she shook her head. “Okay, we should’ve saved some to inspect. I have no idea what mine does. Feels like I might be faster, and maybe I can stick to walls.”

“Wow, good powers. I feel like I’m steadier.”

“Well, how about we brew some more. Then we can inspect them,” Salire said.

“Good idea. The jury is still out as to who lost.”

“Uh-huh,” Salire said, scratching at the scales on her face. “Whatever you say.”

Chapter 60

I Want A Tail

“Why did I expect anything different?” Salire asked with a heavy sign. The whippy tail behind her swept through the air, hitting the edge of a table. “Ow! How do you control this thing?”

“I dunno,” Theo said, scratching at the scales on his face. “How does Tresk survive with these itchy scales?”

“A marshling’s skin is mostly smooth. Don’t think they have scales…”

Not only had Theo and Salire gambled on who would get which potion to chug, they had also swapped off. Because when two alchemists were left alone in their lab, they got up to some stupid stuff. Although they both tried, they could not stick to the walls. But the effects of both potions were interesting. The alchemist inspected the Tails Potion first.

[Tails Potion]

[Potion]

Rare

Created by: Theo Spencer

Purity: 92%

Drink to grow a tail. If you already have a tail, increases the balance provided by your tail.

Effect:

Grow a tail.

For one hour after drinking this potion, your balance is increased greatly, so long as you maintain your tail.

“Yeah, so… You didn’t read this description, did you?” Theo asked, biting the inside of his cheek as he looked at his apprentice.

“What?” Salire asked, rushing over to look at the potion Theo held. “Am I going to explode or something?”

“Nothing like that,” Theo said, waving a dismissive hand. “But, uh… I don’t think that tail is gonna go away.”

“WHAT?”

Potions that had a limited duration always mentioned it. This potion didn’t say anything about a time-limit on the tail. It only mentioned the balancing effect of that tail… which was concerning. It didn’t take long for Salire to start freaking out. She did tight circles, grabbing at her tail and missing it.

“You’re gonna have to cut it off,” Salire said, looking up as she leveled her gaze at Theo. “Just one clean cut. Please.”

“What’s so bad about a tail?” Theo asked, whipping his tail through the air. “The one you got even looks like a dronon tail. Honestly, it looks pretty good on you.”

“A half-ogre with a tail?” Salire asked, huffing. “You know the marshlings can be brutal with their teasing, right?”

“Hey, maybe it’ll wear off,” Theo said with a shrug. “And if anyone makes fun of you, we can force-feed them a potion.”

“But marshlings already have a tail…”

Theo cleared his throat, trying not to laugh as she spun in the lab. She was trying to catch her tail, which was more disconcerting than anything.

“I’ll cut it off if it doesn’t go away,” Theo said. “Who knows? The system’s description might be wrong.”

When Salire didn’t answer him, he moved on to the Scales Potion. He breathed a sigh of relief.

[Scales Potion]

[Potion]

Uncommon

Created by: Theo Spencer

Purity: 85%

Drink to cover your body in scales. Slightly increase your defense and allows you to move quicker underwater. You are also slightly more resistant to disease.

Effect:

For two hours, your body is covered in scales. These scales increase movement speed underwater, increase your defense, and make you more resistant to disease.

“Good news. This one doesn’t last forever,” Theo said.

“Oh joy. I wouldn’t have to flay you alive.”

“Might be an appropriate response to what just happened,” Theo said. “So, I’m not sure if the Tails Potion is considered bad. A tail isn’t entirely bad, but we wouldn’t want people drinking it by accident.”

“Right,” Salire said, her tail whipping erratically. “And the function of the Tails Potion is weird. I’ve never seen a potion interact with biology so quickly. How long did it take Fenian to regrow his arm?”

“Four days, I think,” Theo said. “Longer for it to mature all the way. Actually, that’s a good point.”

Theo narrowed his focus on Salire’s tail. His magical senses still sucked, but he put all his will into the act. He forced enough of it out that the orb of shadow burst from his chest, wrapping the room in silencing darkness. He could sense no magical elements of the tail, aside from those present in the woman’s body normally. No, it was a completely normal tail on a half-ogre.

“Might wanna get used to it for now,” Theo said. “The tail isn’t magical. We just have an extremely fast-acting potion that grows a new biological part. That’s incredibly disturbing.”

“Extrapolate that. Is there a potion that gives you an extra arm?”

“As disturbing as that thought is, you’re right. This might be a new class of potion,” Theo said. “Which makes it a great success!”

“I guess. The reagent is common enough. Doesn’t seem like something the system would normally hand out.”

Right, there was too much information to parse here right now. Until Theo knew if the tail would fall off, he wasn’t sure what he would think of it. Perhaps her greatest fears wouldn’t come true, and she’d simply shed the tail after a time. As much as Theo might’ve tried to guard his thoughts, when he dropped the shell of darkness, a wisp of his thoughts slipped out.

Tresk appeared in the lab, squatting with her arms wide at her hips.

“Tail!” Tresk shouted, pointing directly at Salire’s butt. “We got a tail here!”

“You monster,” Salire said, turning to Theo to glare.

“She read my mind,” Theo said, thinking of the best escape route. “I’m not responsible here.”

“I got this, Theo,” Tresk said, cracking her neck. “Gonna snatch her tail so you can get away.”

“Thanks,” Theo said, bolting for the door. Behind him came a shout and a clatter, but he was already out of the lab, dashing down the stairs and out onto the street. He slowed his run to a jog when it was clear Salire wasn’t chasing after him.

While he hoped it was all a playful joke, Theo jogged his way to the temple and down into the catacombs below. As expected, he found Sulvan lurking down there like a phantom. The somber man nodded as the alchemist approached, silver light flowing from his hand as he healed someone’s wounds.

“Did you explode someone?” Sulvan asked, barely looking up from his work. “Perhaps your own toe, or a finger?”

“Not exactly,” Theo said with a shrug. “I made a potion that grows tails. So, if you want a tail I have a potion for you. If you don’t want a tail, do you think you can help me remove someone’s tail?”

Sulvan stopped what he was doing, folding his hands before him and letting out a heavy sigh. “Is any part of that a joke?” he asked.

“None.”

“I don’t want a tail,” Sulvan said. “And I would have to see the person with a tail before I give you an answer.”

“I want a tail,” the half-ogre Sulvan was working on said.

Theo withdrew a Tails Potion from his inventory and tossed it over. Without delay, the over-eager half-ogre chugged the potion before yelping in pain. With his broken arm healed and a fresh new tail, he sprung up from the cot. “Thanks!” he shouted before dashing away.

“You really should think before you act,” Sulvan said.

“It’s just a tail,” Theo said, jumping as the door to the catacombs slammed open and shut. “Ah, speaking of the other person with a tail…”

“Can’t get away from me that easily,” Salire said, stomping over as she rolled up her sleeves. “Cut my tail off, you son of a brogling.”

“That’s not a real curse.”

“Come here,” Sulvan said, gesturing for Salire to approach. He hummed to himself as she came over, reaching out. She backed away when he tried to grab her tail. “I cannot help you if I cannot see your tail.”

Salire grumbled, turning around. Silver light poured from Sulvan’s hands as he prodded her tail. “Interesting,” he said, releasing the tail. “This actually counts as a curse. I can remove it, if you like.”

“A curse?” Theo asked. He was certain he would’ve detected a curse, of all things. “Guess I don’t understand curses as much as I thought.”

Salire shook her head. “Have you ever understood anything about curses?”

Sulvan cleared his throat. “Anyway, this may be painful. Best to get into the cot.”

“At least Theo didn’t grow an extra tail,” Salire said, climbing into the cot. She glared at the alchemist the entire time, even after Sulvan started casting his magic. “I’m not even mad about the tail anymore. I’m mad because you gave another half-ogre the potion.”

“Yes, we all know where that leads,” Sulvan said. “I’ll be up to my eyeballs in regretful citizens before long.”

“Or a bunch of people with awesome tails,” Tresk said, appearing out of nowhere. “Come on. Look on the bright side, fellas. We can have something unique.”

“We’re unique enough as it is,” Theo said.

It wasn’t the worst thing that could’ve happened with a potion. A few cursed tails here and there wouldn’t ruin the city. “As long as the curse isn’t detrimental,” the alchemist said.

“It should be fine,” Sulvan said. Salire’s tail shrunk by the moment, causing her no small amount of discomfort. She yowled like a wounded marsh wolf.

The bounty from their journey underground might’ve seemed to be the mushrooms, but Theo’s mind could only focus on the dungeon they had found. Even if he could put the strongest people he knew on the task—which would be like wrangling a group of utterly unmotivated cats—he wasn’t sure they had enough manpower to prevent dungeons from ascending.

Tresk wanted to stay behind to observe the entire tail removal process. This left Theo free to check in with the Adventurer’s Guild. He left the catacombs, passing by people in the temple with a series of sharp nods, and headed up the street. The guild was nearest to the western gate in the city and was as busy as ever. Normally, folks would need to wait a while to meet with the guildmaster, but there was always an exception for the archduke.

“Every time you darken my door,” Aarok said as Theo slipped into his cramped office, “you bring bad news. Have you brought me bad news today?”

“I just wanted to check up in person,” Theo said, almost unable to keep the smile from his face. Aarok was so grumpy when he came to visit, likely because he was right. Malcolm has put a lot of faith in the adventurers, which means they have a lot of work to do. “I just need a status report for the other dungeons on the continent.”

“Well, you took my bridge builders off of their project,” Aarok said, flashing a sly smile. “They needed a break from building the bridges. Ziz and his boys were getting tired of crossing the spans that Fenian left on the continent, so I won’t fault them for taking time off. If you’re concerned about the negative dungeons, don’t be. We’ve seen almost no activity from them.”

“Really?” Theo asked, scratching his chin. “Since we found the ascending dungeon below the city, I was worried we’d see more activity in the north.”

“Nothing my scouts have detected, and Tresk is one of my scouts, so I feel like you should already know this,” Aarok said, folding his arms. “We’re fanning out over the entire continent, but you need to remember that it is a continent. Traveling south to north along a singular road is easy enough, but we have to fan out and search these pocketed areas. It’s going to take a long time.”

He was right, of course. They couldn’t search the entire area. So perhaps they should change their strategy entirely and give up on the endeavor. There was a limited range to Theo’s ability, and at a certain point, it was no longer useful to develop areas. If you had to guess, he could shape his aura to encompass all four settlements in his alliance. But getting much further north than Gronro would be a challenge. This left him feeling uncertain about what he should do.

“What do you think?” Theo asked. “I don’t think finding the dungeons is as important as scouting the area in general. Perhaps we should focus instead on creating that road you just mentioned and building the bridges to reach where Qavell once stood.”

“There’s value in scouting for the negative dungeons,” Aarok said. “We don’t know exactly what they do, only that they spew out random monsters. We have to ask ourselves if it’s worth dealing with those monsters or stopping the dungeons before they generate them.”

“It’s unreasonable to destroy all the dungeons,” Theo said, sighing as he reclined in his chair. “But there’s also value in thinning their numbers. Perhaps we can simply focus on that idea.”

“Which means you want to play both sides of the issue,” Aarok said with a nod. “If I can get Fenian Twist and Jan under control, maybe this will be easier.”

“What do you mean? What happened to those three?”

“They went off on an adventure,” Aarok said with a shrug. “Bought a boat and sailed away.”

Theo pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course they did.”