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Crazy Alternate Future Part 01-11 (Patreon)

Published:
2015-07-16 11:37:03
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

"You are marekiller, Aerial Ace. Not me..." - Alternate Dawn


Warning : This comic is alternate sequel of Crazy Future where Crazy Future is clopcomic. Normal Crazy Future can be found here => http://vavacung.deviantart.com/gallery/51002140/Crazy-Future


Character Data : http://vavacung.deviantart.com/gallery/51508160/Crazy-Future-Character-Card


Beware broken English. This comic have no proofreader since my current proofreader not comfortable to work for NSWF stuff. But if you be kind and help me fix it by comment to this post. I will be glad and fix it.


I will update this comic 2-3 page per week. Since I want to balance my time for university and another comic too. Hope you understand...

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Comments

Nocara

The sacrifices he does for science. And she does not look very focused on licking but in what will come next xD Hey the first panel looks good ^^ I think that the grammar in the first panel is a bit off. But I will let someone wiser than me to correct you.^^; But I think that in the second panel, instead of "pack" it is "pact"

Kankri Vantas

Alter: "Can you stop teasing me, I can't get laid with a mare for no pony who's a mare likes me, even my friends are fillyfoolers"

Raile21

Comment: Lol, AD doesn't have a tail! Hmm, this chapter is more dialog-intense than usual, so I need to spend more effort this time. 1st Panel: "You're a virgin!? That is really hard to believe you know!" "A marekiller like you? The pony who have kissed so many mares never get laid!?" 2nd Panel: "That's different, as I did it for science." "You can't even call it a kiss... It's more like a peck on the lips..." "Everypony became really mad when I kissed them or asked for a kiss. What will they actually do when I asked for sex!?" "Mares might slap me and call me a pervert, Stallions might buck me and call me a freak." Note: 1) Lips are always a plural. If you don't know, you actually have a pair of lip barring an accident, the upper and lower lip. 2) A peck on the lips means lightning touch contact or barely touching between a couple's lips Comment: This time the revision is quite challenging, even for me. I welcome other readers to point out if I have done any mistake on proof-reading this chapter.

Mitch
>>641568

I'm sure "marekiller" is not the right word for the context in question.

Raile21
>>641568

Its what the original dialog said. What context do you think a ladykiller means?

Mitch
>>641568

ah, I failed to compare marekiller to ladykiller, yeah that's fine as it is.

Raile21
>>641568

Thank you, spent my free time reading fan-fiction and spent my working time reading english material and news. When you read both amateur and professional work, you can cross-referenced both with each other to check the context of a sentence.

Nocara
>>641568

A interrogation sentence as "you're....?" instead of "are you...?" is valid in English?

Raile21
>>641568

The first sentence from Ace is not really an interrogation but more of an exclamation of disbelief, hence both a question mark and an exclamation mark. In question form, both are valid but depending on who you ask, only the latter are acceptable as proper english. The former are commonly used informally in highschool, e.g. "You're on a date tonight?" The latter are proper english and a more polite form of communicating, e.g. "Are you going on a date tonight?" Take note that asking someone whether they're a virgin or not, is considered rude no matter which forms are used, and no matter whether they are your friends or strangers. Hence there are no situation where it is appropriate to ask such a question with a straight face, unless you are trying to provoke a fight.

Nocara
>>641568

Oh did not know that. And I used to say it wrong because it is valid in Spanish XD what about a lover asking to another? XD

Robert Prime
>>641568

i think for the 2nd panel. The pony who have kissed so many mares never get laid!?" The pony who has kissed so many mares never got laid!?" would that in your opinion not be better?^

Raile21
>>641568

No, get would have been better. In terms of get versus got, essentially it is present tense versus past tense. The term got is the past tense of get. The moment when Ace spoke, at that point the statement that Dawn never get laid is still accurate, hence present tense. Now if Ace and Dawn actually did sexual intercourse that statement no longer applied. Keep in mind, that I do not consider cunnilingus as a sexual intercourse as the whole point of sex is reproduction, The next day or soon after if Dawn decided to tell someone it would then be "I got laid yesterday." or "I have gotten laid yesterday."

Raile21
>>641568

Make sure you did not claim you're a virgin twice to the same person if that is your pick up line.

Nocara
>>641568

Well.. each person can have 2 virginities, right? XD