Smooth Sailing Chapter 17: Mirror Ball Island (Patreon)

Chapter 17: Mirror Ball Island

“P-p-pirates!” Moodie exclaimed, though it came out as a mousy squeak.

Her eyes were locked onto the flag Pep had raised once we were out of sight of Frauce, trembling a little. After a moment they darted over to the Buggy Pirate’s Jolly Roger, before flickering back to the Iron Mace Pirate’s skull and crossbone design.

Moodie had been doing this for a few minutes now, unable to fully recover from the shock of it all. Which was hilarious, at least to Pop and Medaka, who hadn’t stopped laughing.

“It’s kinda impressive how long it took for her to figure it out,” Eliza commented idly, glancing up from her sewing at the shaking doctor. “I mean, we weren’t really being subtle about our profession, either.”

“She never asked, either,” Hep agreed, scratching his head. “Kinda surprised she didn’t try to find out what kind of crew she’d joined.”

“Well, I’d better calm her down and explain a few things,” I sighed.

After recruiting the medical student, we then spent another two days docked at the faux-French kingdom, letting Buggy’s crew rest and recover while also acquiring more money in order to replace their lost supplies.

Once they were done, though, they packed up and set sail early in the morning of the third day with the Iron Mace Pirates following behind, hoisting the colors once we were certain we were away from anyone who could tattle on us. It was at this point that Moodie finally discovered the truth, and had been catatonic since.

“So! Moodie! How are you doing?” I asked, gently tapping her shoulder.

She spun around with a loud “Eep!” and cowered a little, which really hurt my feelings.

“Hey, calm down,” I told her. “You’re acting like we’re bad guys… which, now that I think about it, okay, fair enough, we do sorta have that vibe due to being pirates…”

I trailed off and scratched my cheek awkwardly. “But, uh, don’t worry! We aren’t bad pirates! I mean, we do a bit of looting now and then…”

“You suck at cheering people up, captain!” Medaka said cheekily, and I gave her glare that had her scurry away back into the cabin.

Seeing her flee, I shook my head before turning my attention back to Moodie. “Alright, since it seems I suck at this, allow me to inform you that the crews of BATTLE do not condone rape or wonton killing. There will be none of that on either of our vessels.”

“Ah,” Moodie said, gulping weakly. “Th-that’s good. And a relief. Though, um, most of my surprise is, err…”

She looked back up at the Big Top. “I’m shocked that Donovan’s Circus is actually a pirate crew. I-I used to love to visit it whenever it stopped by! One of my ex-boyfriends took me there years ago!”

“That would be a surprise,” I nodded. “To find out that Ringmaster Donovan is actually Buggy the Clown.”

“Though it is kinda obvious in hindsight,” Moodie muttered, shaking her head, somewhat embarrassed to have never made the connection.

“Hey, to be fair, most people wouldn’t make the connection. And haven’t. So don’t worry,” I told her, patting her shoulder sympathetically.

“I-is our deal still on?” she asked, and I nodded.

“Yup! I’ll be more than happy to beat up Lieutenant Fullbody for you!” I declared, thrusting my chest out proudly.

“I meant the thing about me being allowed to leave the crew if I can find a place that will take me in,” Moodie replied.

“Oh, that. Yeah, of course it is,” I assured her.

“Aren’t you worried that I’ll tell somebody, though?” Moodie wondered.

“Nah, not really. Odds are we won’t be sticking around in the East Blue for much longer,” I informed her, and she paled.

“We’re heading to the Grand Line?”

Eventually,” I replied. “The guy we’re chasing is definitely gonna head out there.”

“And this person is?” Moodie inquired.

“Newbie pirate called Monkey D. Luffy. Punched me in the face without provocation. It hurt,” I said, rubbing my nose as phantom pains tickled me. “And he stole a lot of stuff from Buggy, including a map of the Grand Line. I’d say Buggy’s goal is more revenge focused, though. I just want a proper fight without him sucker punching me and my crew.”

“Alright then,” she said, nodding her head. “Um, what next?”

“Do whatever you like when not on duty. And since you’re gonna be our ship’s doctor, I guess you can use the cabin as your office. Feel free to use the deck whenever, but you’ll also be training with the rest of us,” I said.

“Training? Physical training, you mean?” Moodie asked, and I nodded.

“Well, alright,” she murmured. “Let me know what sort of routines you want to do. I’m not that familiar with physical therapy or athletics, but I’ll try and make an exercise plan that takes diet and such into account…”

“See? You’re already getting into the swing of things!” I laughed cheerfully. “You’ll be a true-blue part of the crew in no time!”

Moodie wrinkled her nose at that, clearly still somewhat deluded in her belief of making a go for it as a doctor despite the Marine induced black mark staining her records. She’d learn soon enough, though.

Giving her back one last pat, I walked over to the helm before turning towards the horizon. It was already quite warm despite being early morning, but I just enjoyed the sunlight and smiled to myself, becoming one with the world.

A ringing sound echoed across the deck of the Lovey Dovey, ruining the moment, and I headed back to the cabin. Inside, I found the source of the noise, a Transceiver Snail I’d bought on our last day in Frauce.

Knowing who was calling, I hesitated for a moment before reaching out and picking up the radio-receiver.

“Hey, Buggy,” I said, and the far-too human-like features of the snail shifted, growing a red nose.

“Alvida, there you are!”

Hearing my co-captain’s voice coming out of an uncanny valley beast sent a shiver through my spine, but I controlled my revulsion for the psychic mollusk, and instead spoke.

“Sup. Making sure the number I gave you works?”

“That’s right,” he confirmed.

Since he was busy on his ship and couldn’t send his head over to talk to me all the time, this was the most sensible way to communicate. No matter how much the Transceiver Snails bothered me.

“So, where are we headed next, Buggy?” I asked him.

“Not sure. Got a couple ideas for where the Straw Hats might pop up next,” he replied with a grimace.

“Well, I’d like to visit Mirror Ball Island,” I said, and the clown-nosed snail blinked.

“Mirror Ball, eh? That’s on the list. Any reason why?”

“My new doctor was wronged by a Marine Lieutenant, and I promised to beat him up for her,” I explained. “And he should be near that island.”

“Hmm… revenge is as good a reason as any. And we can rob the Doskoi Panda headquarters while we are there!” Buggy declared excitedly.

“I thought you guys would have bought new clothes if you needed them while we were back in Frauce,” I commented, and he snorted.

“Like Hell I’m gonna pay ten thousand beri for a t-shirt!” he retorted, and I could only nod in agreement at that.

“Fair enough. I think some new clothes would be good for all of us. Especially Medaka,” I said.

“We can make it to Mirror Ball Island in a couple hours,” Buggy said. “Hm. Yeah, we’ll be there around noon, assuming the weather holds.”

“Then let’s go!” I declared, pumping my fist.

“Heh, alrighty, then,” he chuckled. “Let’s talk about our plans first, though.”

“Right. Strategy meeting,” I nodded. “I’m thinking we do a two-stage sort of deal. My crew sneaks in first, since we have no recognizable flag or bounties, and we scope the island out. Then, when we’ve found our targets, you sweep on in after we cause a distraction. This will draw in the lieutenant, and let your crew hit the Doskoi Panda warehouses unimpeded. Two birds with one stone!”

“I like it,” Buggy said with a sinister grin. “Okay! You and your crew get onto Mirror Ball and contact me when you’re ready. We’ll swoop in, cannons blazing!”

“For our distraction, I’m thinking we take out any Marine ships before they can be used against us. And that way, you’ll have free reign over the harbor.”

“Flashy!” Buggy laughed. “Okay, Alvida, let’s see this plan of yours in action!”

“You won’t be disappointed,” I promised, before hanging up. I then exited the cabin with a spring in my step.

“Change course east by south-east! We’re heading for Mirror Ball Island, Hep!” I ordered.

“Aye-aye, Captain Alvida!” he shouted, immediately doing as I asked and turning the ship’s wheel.

Pep and Pop began to work on the sails, and the rest of the crew looked at me for instructions of their own.

“Get ready to do a bit of mischief,” I told them. “Our mission today is to punch a certain Marine lieutenant in the schnoz, and steal as much merchandise from Doskoi Panda as possible!”

“Sounds like fun, captain,” Eliza grinned, and Medaka nodded.

Jodie and Moodie were less excited, the latter very disturbed by the fact she was about to be an accessory to piracy, but I was sure she’d get over it eventually.

‘I wonder how strong Fullbody will be?’ I wondered, getting an urge to start throwing hands. It was time to see how exactly I measured up to a Marine officer in this world.

111 &&& 111

Mirror Ball Island was a very strange one, and a place that really drove home the anarchistic nature of the world’s technology.

Neon lights dominated the island, lit up even in the late afternoon. You could hear the sound of music coming from gargantuan speakers built into some rocky reefs, and I was pretty sure I could see motorcycles and cars on the streets.

Compared to Frauce and Nagagutsu, this was like going from the 1770s to the 1970s just by driving your car across a bridge. Incredibly strange and jarring.

The island was also impressive. The city was very modern, with straight, well-kept paved streets and roads and plenty of amenities for visitors and inhabitants alike. A dome-like mountain jutted out from the rear of the island, from which an impossibly vast disco ball had been set up, and a grand square was surrounded by five golden ‘fingers’ atop which spotlights illuminated dancers. Plus, the super-sized speakers facing outward, like sonic cannons. Overall, it looked like a blend of the Manga and Anime version.

Mirror Ball Island was the Mecca of Music and Dance. Especially ever since the Kingdom of Elegia fell a decade ago. It brought tourists in by the thousands each year, and was where many of the largest music labels in the world had their main offices.

There was also the fact it served as the headquarters of one of the worlds most popular brands, Doskoi Panda. If you could slap a label on something, Doskoi Panda had done just that. T-shirts, shoes, lunchboxes, speakers, Transceiver Snail shells, even guns! You name it, Doskoi Panda had licensed merch of it.

Now, such a place would normally make for a juicy target for pirates, but there were reasons why most tended not to bother. Most of Mirror Ball Island was protected by a giant series of rocky reefs encircling the shore, preventing anyone from entering except through the front entrance, so to speak. This allowed pirates to be funneled into range of a few defensive cannons along the shore.

Add in the proximity to Loguetown and a couple of Marine bases, and a bunch of warships could be dispatched in under an hour to answer to the calls for help. Didn’t mean it stopped every opportunistic crew, but the payoffs were generally seen as not worth the risk.

As Buggy had predicted, we reached the island around noon. Eating a quick bit of lunch so we wouldn’t be distracted by hunger, we prepped for my first official bit of piracy we’d be doing since reforming the Alvida Pirates.

“Remember, guys, we go in and scout the place out first,” I told my crew as we sailed in to the docks. “Don’t cause any problem.”

I then glanced at Moodie. “And yes, Moodie, you can see if the local hospital or whatever will take you in.”

She nodded, fully believing she’d never have to see us again, but I knew better. Deciding to distract myself from this matter and focused on the rest.

“Medaka, are you really going to wear that armor?” I asked, and the red-headed girl nodded, her helmet clanking a little.

“You never know when you might have to fight!” she declared.

“Fair enough. Just leave the weapon behind,” I shrugged. A kid wearing armor was ‘cute’ and not a call to alarm, after all.

“Hep, Pep, Pop, I want you to stay with the ship this time,” I told them. “You need to be ready to leap into action if anything goes wrong, so stay tight.”

“Will do, captain!” Pop assured her.

“No need to worry, we know what to do!” Hep stated.

‘Great! We’ll be sure to save a couple of t-shirts for ya,” I grinned. “Now! Act natural!”

While the Big Top hung back out of sight and waited for our signal, the Lovey Dovey sailed into Disco Ball Island’s harbor without issue, nobody paying our small boat much attention. Just another bunch of travelers here for the sights and experiences of an island dedicated to music.

We disembarked and began to explore the streets, with Moodie splitting off to go do her own thing. There was a lot to be seen around here, and I let my eyes wander.

“I think we must have missed some sort of fair or festival,” Eliza guessed as she also looked around the city. There were a lot of tired and sweaty people out and about, and there was an aura of spent energy hanging around the streets.

“They must have a lot of those,” I guessed.

‘Hang on, wasn’t there a side story or something about a dance party here on the island?’ I thought as my memory of the series was tickled by the sight of a dance stage dominating the center of a nearby plaza.

I think there was… maybe an OVA? Silently wishing I’d watched more of the side media for One Piece, I walked randomly through the streets of Funky Town, Mirror Ball Island’s main city while racking my brain.

‘Could I use my Devil Fruit to reclaim my memories or make it easier to remember things?’ I wondered. ‘Make it easier for them to Slip free from the recesses of my mind?’

That was an interesting experiment to perform, but I also had to worry about accidentally turning myself into a Smooth-brained moron if I wasn’t careful. Still, that had merits.

‘What else can I do with my Devil Fruit?’ I mused to myself, now invested in the topic. ‘How much farther can I push the Smoothness angle?’

I could Slide over the ground frictionlessly on my bare feet, and knew I could deflect physical attacks on my body. And, I’d removed the friction on objects when I threw them, making them hit harder and fly faster.

Then, there was the more esoteric developments. Being able to go unnoticed by somebody by Slipping away from their perception was something I needed to test more, and if I could do that, what else could I Slip through?

‘I bet I can Slip free of restraints, too,’ I guessed, thinking back to when I was bound Ganzack’s tricks. ‘If I make my skin so Smooth not even something sticky like glue can adhere to me, then I bet I could slip free of even something tightly wrapping around me.’

“You look deep in thought, captain,” Jodie noted, and I chuckled as I was brought out of my daydreams.

“Just thinking about fighting,” I told her.

“You’re kind of a battle junky, aren’t you, Alvida,” Eliza hummed.

“I guess I am,” I shrugged after thinking the comment over.

I’d never considered myself a violent person in my past life, but the thought of trading blows with a character I’d only ever seen through a screen or on a page was something I couldn’t deny was intriguing, and rather exciting.

‘In more way than one, apparently,’ I thought with a barely concealed grimace, unconsciously rubbing my thighs together.

Seems like violence was something that got Alvida’s – and by extension, my own – motor running quite a bit, if you catch my drift.

“Let’s scope out the head office, first,” I said, leading the group deeper into the island.

Panda Doskoi’s HQ was hard to miss. They had a giant panda mascot on top of the building, and the building itself was eight stories tall, already larger than most of the structures around it.

“Welcome to Panda Doskoi!” a female greeter said cheerfully as we entered. “How may we help you today?”

“Do you give tours?” I asked, and though Medaka got an odd look, the smile never left the woman’s face.

“We do!” she replied. “How many in your group?”

“Just us four,” I replied.

She nodded and led us a counter. “You’re in luck! We have a tour in few minutes. Please, this way!”

We paid for overpriced tickets and then followed the greeter into a side area where a handful of other people were waiting. A few parents with children, a young couple on a date, and a pair of teenaged guys who were clearly super-fans based on the amount of branded merch they had on.

“Welcome to Panda Doskoi!” a tour guide wearing a cap with panda ears on it announced. “Ticket’s please!”

We handed them in, and after that, she waved a hand for us to follow her.

“Each floor is dedicated to a specific role. The first floor is general administration and the gift shop, so we won’t spend to much time here… at first,” the tour guide informed us with a titter. “However, the second floor is much more interesting!”

We were led into an elevator – proof of the strange and varying levels of technology of this world – and took us up to the next floor.

“Welcome to the Design Floor! Where we come up with new designs and mock-ups for our merchandise!” the guide announced. “Here, please take a look!”

We looked around, impressed by the sight of hundreds of people hard at work creating new product ideas. Somebody was making a panda-shaped backpack, and another was sketching out a couple of cute mascot characters.

There were also non-panda themed objects, like a toaster with adjustable toasting options, a hand tool set, and a bunch of Sora! Hero of Justice! comic books.

“Here at Doskoi Panda, quality is as important as creativity, and we strive to ensure our products are the best they can be in every way!” the guide explained, leading us around the 2nd Floor. We spent almost an hour here before going up to the next floor.

“The 3rd Floor is where the East Blue’s product division is based! Here, we coordinate with our branches all across the sea, making sure customers have the best products possible!” she stated.

There were office rooms here with Transceiver Snails, as well as cubicles. There were also some spots that were like the 2nd Floor, with people researching East Blue specific merchandise. I spotted a very fancy gold and silver tea cup set that was destined to be sold in Frauce, and a number of Panda Doskoi branded top hats that Nagagutsu would receive.

Each floor above us was similar. 4th Floor was dedicated to the South Blue, mainly bikinis and tropical-themed beachwear. The 5th Floor was where the North Blue products were found, such as fur coats and gloves. The 6th Floor had the West Blue exclusive items, full of lovely cowboy and Chinese themed items. And last but not least, the 7th Floor was where Grand Line merch was developed and the branches coordinated.

To name a few, I spotted some sort of desert themed stuff for the Kingdom of Alabasta, palm tree items for Kyuka Island, bubble-based trinkets for Sabaody Archipelago, Spanish inspired dresses and such for Dressrosa, and even Marine themed products.

The 8th Floor was sadly not part of the tour. It was where the CEO and other high-ranking people in the company worked. But even with that, the whole thing was a nice way to spend two hours.

“Oh, that looks cute!” Medaka squealed, looking around the gift shop with wide eyes.

“Save your beri, Medaka,” I urged her with a chuckle.

“But this is the only place we can buy some of these things!” she pouted, and I folded like a cheap folding chair.

“Fine, just one or two,” I huffed. She giggled and began to look for a couple items to buy. Jodie and Eliza were a bit more restrained, partly because they remembered the plan.

“So, that was fun, but we’ve got work to do,” I declared after we left. “Come on, time to scope out the warehouses.”

Plenty of Doskoi Panda’s products were manufactured here on the island. What wasn’t taken up by Funky Town, the main settlement and the dance and music themed city on Mirror Ball, was dedicated to an assortment of factories. When they were finished being made, they were brought to a series of warehouses under the company’s direct control, where they’d be sent off the various branches around the world.

Sure, some products were built elsewhere – especially the ones specifically for other seas – but Panda prided itself on in-house production for a lot of their general goods. Which saved them money and let them control who got what and which merchants were allowed to carry their goods. Shrewd business, that.

The Doskoi Panda warehouses were decidedly a major part of the docks. More than half of the warehouses belonged to them and contained the products. Finding them was easy. Getting into them? A bit trickier.

“Those guards look alert,” Jodie said as we watched them carefully.

“They do. But they’re guards, not trained soldiers, or even decently skilled thugs. We can get past them no sweat if push comes to shove,” I assured her.

“That’s right,” Buggy’s voice said. Jodie was holding a Transceiver Snail, and I’d called up Buggy to relay what we found. “Rush ‘em all flashy-like, and they tend to break and run. Dead guards don’t get paychecks, after all.”

The expression of the snail shifted a moment later. “What exactly are the locks like?”

“I’m going to take a closer look,” I replied, and stepped up.

Using my Devil Fruit to Slip beneath the guard’s notice and have their gazes Slide off of me, I walked without worry over to the nearest Doskoi Panda warehouse. I examined the padlock over the door closely.

While a bit larger than normal, and sturdier, I could probably rip it clean off on my own… but I was an outlier. It’d take a bit of work to try and remove it for a normal person – even by this world’s standard.

When I was done, I circled the warehouse looking for any weaknesses but found none, not even a window or skylight. The whole structure was made of thick wood and tin paneling with a stone and concrete foundation.

Having gotten all the information I could just with my eyes alone, I headed back to my crew who were standing around nearby, removing my little Devil Fruit-powered trick.

“That’s so weird, captain,” Medaka muttered, trying to rub her eyes but forgetting she was wearing a helmet.

“Yeah, seeing you vanish like that is unsettling. Kinda hurts my eyes, too,” Eliza muttered. “Like, I know you’re there, but I can’t focus on you properly.”

“Good to know,” I replied, before turning my attention to the snail. “So, the doors are locked up tight with some heavy-duty padlocks. I don’t think you can just shoot or hack them off. Not with basic guns and swords.”

“About what I expected,” Buggy replied. “What about the hinges?”

“Thicker and sturdier than normal, but if you tried you could probably knock down the doors and not have to bother with cutting or picking the locks.”

“Then we have a plan!” he declared. “Get ready for our arrival in ten minutes or so!”

“We’ll have a distraction ready by then,” I promised. “I saw a Marine vessel at the docks, so we’ll take it out right now.”

“Looking forward to the good news,” Buggy replied before hanging up.

“Come on, back to the docks,” I said. “We have a job to do.”

“Should we check on Moodie, first?” Medaka inquired, and I thought it over before shaking my head.

“Nah, we have to time to find her after we’re done here.”

The plan was simple: I’d sneak onto the Marine ship, leave a lit candle or something flammable near the gunpowder stores, and let nature take its course. Fire plus explosives equals a bad day for most people, after all.

Then, while the Marines were scrambling, the Buggy Pirates would swoop in, attack the warehouses and make off with a bunch of Doskoi Panda products. Few, if any, people would be hurt in the process, and we’d be out of there before the Marines could react.

An excellent plan, if I do say so myself! However, when we reached the docks, something was off.

“What the?” I uttered, spotting a ship coming closer. It was a bit too far to see clearly, but I could spot the black and white flag it was flying. “Buggy’s too early!”

“Um, captain?” Eliza said, squinting at the approaching ship. “That’s not the Big Top.”

“Eh?” I exclaimed, but then focused on the vessel a bit more and blinked as it came into view properly.

Indeed, my seamstress was correct. The ship was smaller than Buggy’s, and lacked the circus theme, instead sporting some sort of flower motif. A tulip, I think?

‘Oh, right, this did happen in Jango’s side story!’ I thought as memories rushed back in, wincing as the presence of these flower-themed pirates threw a wrench into our plans.

“Jodie! Snail!” I commanded, and the designated Transceiver Snail holder quickly handed over the surprisingly un-slimy gastropod.

“Buggy, we’ve got a problem!” I shouted in the snail after dialing my co-captain’s number.

“I noticed!” He shot back. “Those schmucks are trying to steal a march on us! Who do those no-name pirates think they are messing with?!”

The red-nosed clown then growled. “Fine! Change of plans! We’re coming in hot! Can you smack around those idiots while my crew raids the warehouses?”

“No problem-o, Buggy,” I replied, picking up my club. “They won’t know what hit ‘em!”

Hanging up, I turned to my companions. “Change of plans! We’re gonna deal with the Tulip Pirates first!”

“At least this will be a decent distraction,” Eliza hummed while Medaka eagerly slapped her helmet’s visor closed.

“Eliza, Jodie, head back to the ship. Get the brothers up and manning the cannon and ready for violence. Have them sail the Lovey Dovey close to our position so we can make a hasty escape if we need to,” I instructed. “Medaka, stick to my side. We’re gonna go in hard and fast!”

“That’s what she said,” Eliza muttered under her breath, and Jodie stifled a scandalized snort.

They then ran off to do as I’d ordered, and I picked up a 2-by-4 with a nail in it from a nearby alleyway for Medaka to use. She took it with a vicious little grin and gave it an experimental swing before nodding in satisfaction.

We then hurried off to meet the Tulip Pirates before they could arrive and start making a mess, but we weren’t fast enough. By the time Medaka and I reached the boardwalk near the docks, the pirate ship had fired upon the Marine vessel, sinking it, before releasing about thirty to forty cutthroats onto Mirror Ball Island.

Meanwhile, I could see the Big Top sailing full speed into the harbor, aiming straight for the part of the docks where the Doskoi Panda warehouses were.

‘At least that part of the plan should still go as planned,’ I thought, turning back to the pirates who were swarming the boardwalk and looting the storefronts nearby.

I also saw Fullbody punching pirates when Medaka and I arrived at the scene, and not wanting to be left out, I kicked off my sandals and began to Slide across the ground towards them.

My fist met with a Tulip Pirate’s face and sent him flying into the water, which they were not expecting. But to be fair, not many would expect a woman treating the dirt like an ice rink and then punching them.

“Who the hell is this?!” another goon demanded.

“I dunno, but she’s beautiful!” a different pirate replied with a lovestruck smile. Medaka decided to punish him for that with a wooden plank to the knees.

“Beautiful lady, leave this to the Marines!” Fullbody shouted at me as his iron-studded knuckles dealt a comparable amount of damage to my own bare fists.

“No way! I’m not missing out on all this fun!” I laughed back.

“Fine, then! But can you at least have your sister step away?!”

“HAHAHAH! TAKE THIS! AND THAT! AND ONE OF THESE!”

“Medaka is fine,” I replied after glancing over at her as she laid the smackdown onto several pirates, making sure the ones Fullbody and I punched stayed down.

The Marine lieutenant looked at me in bewilderment, but didn’t have time to look away, and had to dodge a sword strike from a pirate who was pretty tall, at least eight feet if I wasn’t mistaken. He was a big one, but swift blow to his chin courtesy of Fullbody sent him crashing down.

‘So, this is what an East Blue lieutenant is like,’ I thought, watching Fullbody out of the corner of my eye.

The man was definitely skilled. Certainly at or above Olympic levels of strength from my old world, with plenty of martial arts and military training. He tore through the fodder easily, much like I was, though he was not as fast or powerful as me. He was starting to get tired, and ended up taking damage from a few pirates, cuts and bruises littering his arms.

His combat was more refined than my own brawler style, though. Fullbody had training in boxing at the very least.

‘And the Marines on the Grand Line are likely going to be even stronger,’ I thought.

I could probably beat Fullbody. No, I knew I could defeat him. But how close would it be? I wasn’t sure, but with my club in hand, I’d be a lot more confidant one way or another.

“And on that topic, I really need to start bringing my club with me when I leave the boat,” I grumbled aloud to myself as I grabbed a Tulip pirate and used him like a flail to beat up one of his friends. “This is, like, the second time having it with me when I’ve visited a new island would have been a good idea.”

One of the Tulip Pirates let out a yell and ran at me, brandishing his sword, but I just backhanded him before hurling the guy in my grasp at somebody trying to point a gun at Medaka.

“Though there is something incredibly satisfying about beating a motherfucker with another motherfucker,” I chuckled.

However, I was starting to get tired, just like Fullbody. These pirates weren’t all that strong, but their numbers were starting to work against us. I could keep going, their attacks were doing nothing to me, but what if I got too exhausted to keep fighting?

The roar of a cannon snapped me out of my thoughts, and all of us – Marine, pirate, and civilian alike – turned our heads to try and see who was shooting at what.

As it turned out, the ‘who’ was none other than the Lovey Dovey, and the ‘what’ was the boat’s cannon which had fired at the Tulip Pirate’s ship. Thanks to Pep’s shooting skills, the cannonball had smashed into the other ship’s main mast and knocked it over, while their own cannons were unmanned and unable to retaliate.

‘Stupid of them to not have anyone stay back onboard to defend their ship,’ I thought, clicking my tongue at the other pirates’ mistake.

“CAPTAIN!” Pop shouted at me, and I looked over at them as Hep brought the Lovey Dovey close to the docks.

On the deck, Pop was holding my weapon. While still holding it, he began to spin around in a circle, then let it go once he’d built up enough momentum, sending the hefty mass of solid iron flying towards me.

“Well done!” I praised my crew member as grabbed the club out of the air with a wide grin. It was time to smash!

I spun around and swung my mace into the chest of a nearby pirate who thought he was being sneaky, and sent him flying into the roof of a nearby building.

Once again, the battlefield froze, Fullbody and the pirates staring at me incredulously, not believing their eyes. I just grinned and let out a battle cry before charging back into the flower-themed sea dogs.

Every swing of my spiked club sent bodies flying, and with a weapon in hand I was able to take out more pirates than with my fists alone. The spikes also helped put them down, and keep them that way. Tougher than my old world’s humans they may have been, but getting hit with a pointy bit of metal was very unpleasant and left them broken and bleeding on the ground.

“This is actually starting to get fun!” I cackled. “For me, that is! You guys call yourselves pirates?!”

“SHUT UP!” one of the Tulip Pirates screamed as he pulled the trigger of a pistol. The bullet bounced off of me and I turned to him with a pitying look.

“If that didn’t work the first dozen times, why would you think it’d work now?” I asked him with a shake of my head before swatting him aside with my mace.

“Indeed, these men are nothing but fools and weaklings!” Fullbody scoffed as he broke the jaw of another man.

“Nothing, huh?! Then how about now?!”

A feminine – and familiar! – shriek drew both my attention and that of Fullbody, and we turned to find a man who wore a large blue coat with two swords at his side holding one of said blades up to the throat of Moodie!

“One wrong move, and the civilian gets it!” the man – Captain Yurikah if my memory was correct – warned us.

Moodie looked at me pleadingly with tears in her eyes, and I glared at the leader of the Tulip Pirates while Medaka let out a feral growl beside me.

Fullbody clenched his fists angrily, clearly enraged by the act of taking a hostage, though he didn’t seem to actually recognize her. Which was kinda rude, given how he’d ruined her life back in Frauce with a single careless comment.

I was also furious at one of my crew being treated like this. Of course, the captain of the Tulip Pirates had us by the balls – metaphorically for me, at least – and knew it, and was grinning darkly at all the three of us.

“Drop your weapons!” he commanded. “Or else!”

“Sure,” I said, letting my mace fall to the ground with a loud thump while Medaka growled and let her plank of wood leave her hands. “But that guy’s weapons are built into his fists, he can’t really drop ‘em.”

“Then he’ll just have to stand there and let my men get our revenge while this little lady watches!” Yurikah sneered.

The lieutenant was trembling in anger but Fullbody did stand down, lowering his fists and folding his arms.

“Do your worst!” he shouted.

“I plan to!” Yurikah declared, before motioning at his men to attack. Yet as they began to dogpile Fullbody and beat him within an inch of his life, a few came up to me, clearly intending nefarious things.

“What a woman!” one leered.

I felt a shiver of revulsion run down my spine as they approached, licking their lips and eyeing me like a piece of meat.

“Damn straight! She’s got a nice rack on her!” another laughed, reaching out to grope my chest.

Yet before his hand could touch me, I lashed out, grabbing his wrist and breaking it with a single twist of my own. I then swung him around, smashing the lecher into his friends before hurling him into the ocean.

“You-!” Yurikah exclaimed glaring at me. “That’s it! She dies now!”

“One! Two! JANGO!” a voice suddenly called out. “Let her go!”

Yurikah stiffened before releasing Moodie. His movements were stiff and clearly not willing, but I wasn’t going to wait, and I Slid over to my ship’s doctor, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her away.

At the same time, Fullbody stopped letting himself get curb stomped and threw off his attackers before rushing over in order to slam a fist into Yurikah’s face, breaking his nose and sending him crashing into the ground, unconscious.

With the captain down and the rest clearly no match for us, Fullbody and I – along with the inclusion of Jango – beat the rest of them down, ending their threat once and for all.

“Phew!” Fullbody said, wiping his forehead in relief. “Thank you, citizens, for your help!”

“Err, no problem,” Jango said, trying to look inconspicuous and slip away.

“Yeah. Fun fighting alongside you, but I have a promise to keep,” I informed him, cracking my knuckles.

“Eh?” Fullbody uttered in bewilderment before his chin met my fist.

The lieutenant went spinning through the air before crashing down into the ground. He did not get back up, but he seemed to still be breathing, so that was good. Killing Marines got the World Government very upset with you, and I did not need that sort of heat quite this soon into my career.

“Wh-what did you do that for?!” Jango demanded, pointing an accusing finger at me.

“Oh, he hurt a friend of mine,” I replied, grabbing Moodie by the shoulder and pulling her into a side hug, causing her to blush. “He was very rude to her and kinda ruined her life. I feel like a broken jaw is about what he deserved.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense…” Jango trailed off before gasping, eyes widening in recognition behind his glasses as they darted from my face to the mace on the ground. “Hang on! Aren’t you Alvida?!”

“That I am!” I said with a nod, before a wild and crazy idea hit me. “Hey, Jango, right? Weren’t you the captain of the Black Cat Pirates for a while?”

I knew he was from my meta-knowledge, but Alvida’s memories also included a bit I hadn’t known: his bounty was nine million beris. Four million higher than mine!

“Uh, yeah,” he replied with a nod, wondering where I was going with this.

“If you’re here, that means somebody else took over as captain… or your crew got wiped out, like mine,” I noted, nodding to myself at my ‘deduction.’

“That’s right,” he grumbled, muttering “Damned Kuro!” under his breath.

“Well, in that case, wanna join my crew?” I asked.

“Eh?” Jango exclaimed, taken aback by the offer.

“Why him, captain?” Medaka asked. “He looks weird!”

“The weirdos are always the ones you have to watch out for,” I told Medaka while Jango spluttered a little at her comment. “Besides, I can think of a lot of ways a hypnotist of his caliber could be useful.”

“You, uh, that’s a nice compliment, I guess,” he muttered, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “But I dunno…”

“I can give you a few minutes to think it over,” I began, only to be cut off by Eliza screaming at me from the Lovey Dovey’s deck.

“CAPTAIN! MARINE SHIP, COMING TOWARDS THE PORT!”

I blinked at that and turned to peer out at the gap in the reefs that allowed ships to approach Mirror Ball Island, and I saw a ship sporting the Marine’s seagull emblem. It also had an iron maiden as the figure head, and a dark pink upper hull.

Memories from Alvida flooded me as I looked at it, and I jerked in shock – and more than a little bit of fear.

Pausing only to scoop up my weapon and throw Moodie over my shoulder, I jumped from the boardwalk onto the Lovey Dovey and grabbed the Transceiver Snail from Jodie after putting my doctor down.

With shaking fingers I managed to input my co-captain’s numbers into the device and waited impatiently for him to pick up.

“BUGGY!” I shouted at the snail as soon as I heard him connect. “Big problem!”

“What sorta problem?!” he shouted back. “I’m a little busy here!”

“There’s a Marine ship on the horizon! It’s the Black Cage!” I informed him. Watching a snail turn pale was very weird, but there was no time to comment on it.

“Crap! Okay, we’re wrapping things up here! I’m not gonna stick around if the Black Cage and its captain is coming here!”

I completely agreed. The Marine warship the Black Cage was captained by the famous female captain of the same name: Hina the Black Cage.

Captain Hina was part of the dreaded Gaol Fleet, a sub-division of the Marines whose ships were tasked with bringing in captured criminals to Enis Lobby or Impel Down. Her ship was not designed for direct combat, being more of a transport vessel, but it still possessed plenty of firepower, to say nothing of the woman herself.

She was a proponent of Absolute Justice, and thus fell into Akainu’s camp within the Marine’s political structure. Hina had no mercy for pirates or rulebreakers of any sort. Her Devil Fruit was also one of the few hard counters to my own. The Cage-Cage Fruit was capable of producing durable cage-like structures, large enough to imprison entire ships.

Given that I’d learned from Ganzack that things completely wrapping around and binding my body were more than capable of preventing me from Slipping free, Hina would likely be more than capable of stopping me in my tracks.

“Ready the ship for departure, guys!” I shouted at my crew. “Medaka! Get back on board! We’re getting out of here!”

“Is that ship really that bad?” Jodie asked. It was Pop that answered her.

“The Black Cage is Black Cage Hina’s personal vessel,” he hurriedly explained. “She’s a Marine captain and very powerful!”

“I’m not sure if I’d be able to defeat her,” I admitted. “Not without a lot of risk to you as well.”

I then turned back to the railing. “OI! JANGO! IF YOU DON’T WANNA GET CAUGHT BY THAT PINK-HAIRED BITCH, YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!”

That information helped Jango make up his mind, and he scooped up Medaka under one arm before taking a running leap onto the boat, landing next to me.

“Permission to come aboard, captain?!” Jango asked, quickly throwing me a salute as he dropped the armor-clad red-head onto the deck.

“Granted! Welcome to the Iron Mace Pirates, Jango!” I said, slapping him on the shoulder. “Should we survive, we’ll have a party!”

I turned away from my newest crew member and looked to Hep, who was still at the wheel. “Get us out of here!”

“Aye-aye, captain!” he replied, and turned the ship’s wheel sharply, bringing us away from the burning wreck of the Marine ship and the mastless Tulip Pirate vessel.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Big Top peeling away from the warehouses, and let out a sigh of relief.

Next, I cast my gaze towards the Marine vessel bearing down on us. Captain Hina was still a ways off, and judging by the gusts at our backs that filled our sails, Buggy and I would be able to slip past her while her own ship struggled to fight against the wind.

Once we were out of the harbor away from the island, though, things would be a bit dicey. If Hina maneuvered her ship properly she could catch the same winds aiding us, and potentially get close enough to use her Devil Fruit on our ships.

‘We have to stay ahead of her,’ I thought grimly.

Buggy clearly had the same idea, as he was starting to unfurl more sails to catch the breeze, and I ordered Pep and Pop to do the same.

As I’d hoped, the winds pushed us out of the harbor and past the jagged reefs surrounding Mirror Ball Island, but now that we were on the open waters, our options dwindled.

‘Not to mention the wind is changing,’ I thought to myself, glancing up at the sails with a grimace.

Where there’d been a steady gust to help us leave, now they weather was far less helpful. We needed a miracle!

“Captain! There’s a storm to the north-west!” Pep suddenly called out, and indeed there was: roiling black clouds dominated the horizon, and I could see the wind whipping the waves into a frothy mess while rain lashed the sky. No lightning, though, which was a relief.

“Aim for it!” I shouted, making a snap decision as inspiration struck me.

“WHAT?!”

Pep wasn’t the only one to let out a shocked scream in disbelief. The rest of my crew was shocked, same as Buggy, whose shocked face transposed onto the Transceiver Snail was hilarious to look at. And creepy.

‘Oh, yeah, I forgot to hang up on him earlier,’ I thought, blinking a little before shaking the stray thoughts out of my head. They weren’t needed right now!

“Unless you want to fight a Marine captain who specializes in capturing targets, we head out into the storm and pray she doesn’t follow!” I retorted, before pushing Hep out of the way and taking the wheel for myself.

“…Argh! Damn it!” Buggy growled over the phone-snail. “Fine! All hands, on deck! We’re making for that storm and using it for cover!”

He then hung up, needing all of his attention on his own ship, leaving us alone.

“Somebody tie a rope around me!” I shouted as I gripped the steering wheel tightly. “And get some ropes on yourselves as well!”

My immense strength was going to be necessary for keeping control of the ship in the midst of the storm, and the rope would act as a lifeline in case any of us got tossed overboard.

Everyone scrambled to obey. Jango, Hep, Pep, and Pop rushed to handle the sails and rigging, while Medaka found a sturdy bit of rope that she hastily tied around my waist, connecting it to the helm itself.

Eliza, Jodie, and Moodie were also working, clearing the deck of everything that might get blown or washed away, including the Transceiver Snail and peach trees.

Daring to look over my shoulder at the Marine warship chasing us, I grimaced. It had not slowed down. If anything, it was moving even faster, Hina having clearly deduced their plan and was trying to catch up before they could escape into the storm.

‘Come on, come on!’ I thought, urging the Lovey Dovey to go faster. Prayers alone wouldn’t save us, though, and I turned to my crew.

“Break out the oars!” I snapped. “We have to keep going!”

“YES!” they shouted.

My crew grabbed them from storage and hastily paddled against the water, pushing us forward. It wasn’t much faster, but it was enough to keep up with the Big Top, and we soon reached the edge of the storm.

Rain descended upon us in slashing sheets, splattering us in the face and drenching us to the bone in seconds. The waves battered against the Lovey Dovey’s hull, threatening to capsize us. Yet despite all of that, I couldn’t help but let out a cheer as behind us, the Black Cage ceased its pursuit, turning aside at the last moment and refusing to enter the storm.

“We did it!” I laughed. “It’s gonna be Smooth Sailing from here on out!”

I then had to close my mouth as a tidal wave crested the railing and slapped me in the face, a fish getting lodged in it that I hastily spat out.

We may have escaped, but now we had to endure the storm. How hard could it be?