Smooth Sailing Chapter 25: Clockwork Island 1 (Patreon)

Chapter 25: Clockwork Island 1

‘Now that’s interesting,’ I thought to myself, flipping through the pages of a history book, one of the spoils of the raid on Mirror Ball Island.

It was actually really informative, as it explained the origins of holidays in this world. I’d always wondered how and why things like ‘Christmas’ and ‘Valentine’s Day’ could exist in this world, as well as the existence of the Gregorian calendar that lined up with my old world’s system.

Something like having Halloween was easy enough to wave off as unimportant worldbuilding when it was just a manga, but not so much when I was now in the world itself.

Turns out, it was all the World Government’s fault. Not entirely surprising, but how it was their fault was a bit more curious.

On Earth, a lot of holidays were the result of religious matters. Valentine’s Day was named after Saint Valentine after all. But under the World Government’s edicts, only World Nobles were allowed to use the title of ‘Saint,’ and religion was, while not outright banned, significantly less important than it could have been.

There were no central religious authorities like the Vatican to dictate faith. Probably because the World Government had quietly stamped out such things. The existence of ‘gods’ who were not them was likely a sin in the Celestial Dragons’ inbred eyes. Or an insult to Imu thinking they were the only authority that mattered.

Nuns and priests existed, as did churches, but they were generally just people who said ‘I’m gonna be a nun or priest!’ and that was that. Plus, with just religious texts to guide people, it was more a matter of personal faith than anything else in this world.

Which meant that Valentine’s Day in this world was not due to the existence of a Roman named Saint Valentine but because a World Noble named Saint Valentine wanted there to be a holiday to commemorate her birth. The tradition of giving girls chocolate on that particular day was a holdover from the tradition of giving an insane world noble gifts and candy.

Same thing for Christmas. In this case, it was for the World Noble St. Nicholas. From what I gathered, Nicholas and Valentine were siblings and just trying to one-up each other. Expected from the spoiled bubble-headed freaks, honestly.

Of course, the history book did not say any of that outright. The World Government censors would never have allowed such a thing. No, what it said was ‘The World Nobles wanted everyone to feel as loved as they were, and thus wished to create a holiday to spread or joy.’ Well, I was paraphrasing things a bit, but that was the gist.

Considering the book was written fifty or so years ago while the holidays were over five centuries old meant some things got lost along the way. But I could read between the lines.

‘And the calendar is called ‘Gregorian’ because it is named after St. Gregor, and the months named after his children,’ I mused, reading another passage of Celestial Dragon bootlicking.

In fact, this ‘St. Gregor’ fellow was a former member of the Five Elder Planets. He’d been responsible for creating the entirely new calendar system following the Void Century as a way to say ‘the old order is dead, here is the new one.’

Since he wasn’t one of the current Elders I had to assume he’d done something to piss off Imu, and thus lost his immortality, but what that was, I had no idea. Not sure I wanted to, either.

‘I wonder how often Imu goes through Elders?’ I mused, mind derailing slightly as I finished a chapter about St. Figerland Patrick who’d given himself a holiday based on the day he killed some sort of dragon that had attacked Marie Geoise.

‘I should try to find a book that explains why Christian iconography like crosses exist in this world as my next topic,’ I decided.

And speaking of holidays, today was actually February 14th, aka Valentine’s Day! Shame we didn’t have any chocolate to celebrate with. Though to be fair, our last port of call didn’t have any in the first place.

We’d left the Ocean’s Navel two days ago, and had been sailing around in search of a certain straw hat wearing brat, but so far hadn’t had much luck. Though at least the weather had been good.

“Captain Alvida! I see something up ahead off the starboard side!” Pep announced.

“That so?” I asked, somewhat distracted by the contents of my book.

“I see it too, big sis! Is that… a tower?” Medaka asked, squinting into the distance.

Curious, I looked up from the pages I’d been reading and followed Medaka’s gaze. Indeed, I too saw a stick poking up into the sky on the horizon that flattened into a disc-like shape at the top, before rising up into a mountain-like form in the middle.

“Looks like a tower alright,” I muttered. Actually, the longer I peered at it, the more it seemed like a nail, or perhaps a screw, jutting up out of the ocean.

“Captain, I think we are near Clockwork Island!” Moodie spoke up nervously, her own gaze locked onto the distant tower.

“Clockwork Island?” I repeated, before my eyes widened in recognition. “Oh!”

Easily the most scientifically advanced island in the entire East Blue, it was a marvel of engineering, being a giant clockwork tower stretching up into the sky. There, you could buy all sorts of things, from the finest clocks and guns, to all sorts of machinery and science related objects.

It was also the current base of the Trump Pirates after they conquered it seven years back, which was the reason for Moodie’s worry.

‘And if my memories of the series are accurate, they were building some sort of giant cannon at the top of the island in an attempt to ‘take over’ the East Blue and Grand Line,’ I thought.

Thinking about them, I fished out more memories of the movie… or had it been an OVA? Whatever the case, there had been the captain of the Trump Pirates, Bear King, who’d eaten the Hard-Hard Fruit.

The Devil Fruit granted him impressive defenses, supposedly on par with solid stone or more. It could also heat his body up, creating fire like flint when struck. His bounty was 11.6 million beri. Not bad for the East Blue. Higher than Eldoraggo’s, Ganzack’s, and mine.

Then, his sister, Honey Queen, who was the only other major threat. Indeed, she was probably the most dangerous, given she’d eaten a Logia, the Liquid-Liquid Fruit. Surprisingly, her bounty was only 7.8 million beri, which was odd considering the threat level she should have possessed as a Logia in the East Blue.

The other officers amongst the Trump Pirates weren’t all that impressive, honestly. Skunk One had a six million beri bounty and a gas-powered jet pack. The gas could paralyze people, so that was kinda dangerous, I supposed, but nothing a little fire couldn’t fix.

Pin Joker had the second highest bounty of the pirates, at 9.9 million, and was a semi-decent swordsman who laced feather-like darts with Skunk One’s poison. And lastly there was Boo Jack, with a 3.2 million bounty and a spiked robe he could wrap around himself while rolling about like a wrecking ball.

‘Actually, isn’t that spiked cape similar to Krieg’s?’ I mused.

Was it possible Krieg had bought some of his weapons and gear from Bear King and Clockwork Island? Had the Trump Pirates sold weapons to other pirates? That would actually make sense.

While I was deep in thought, there was an explosion like thunder, but deeper, off in the distance.

“CAPTAIN!” Pep suddenly screamed. “INCOMING!”

My head snapped up and saw what he’d seen: a giant bullet, rocketing towards us!

‘Oh, right, the giant cannon!’ I thought to myself with a wince. Even if it didn’t hit us directly, the explosion could capsize my tiny ship!

“BUGGY!” I shouted, and the clown-themed captain shrieked back “WHAT?!” from the Big Top. He’d also seen the massive artillery shell making its way towards us and was panicking a bit.

“Get me up there!” I ordered him, and a moment later his hands came flying over to me.

Hopping onto them, Buggy’s hands carried me into the air as the giant bullet screamed closer to us. Watching as it grew bigger and bigger, I got into the ready position, arms out and down a bit.

I felt my heart dance wildly in my chest, but I was confident in my plan, and when the cannonball reached me, I reacted.

“YAH!” I shouted, bringing up arms up and hitting the giant sphere of metal like it was an oversized volleyball.

My abnormal strength, combined with my Smooth skin, ended up knocking the projectile up into the air away from our two ships, where it slammed into the ocean well behind us and sent up a huge plume of water.

The wave buffeted our ships, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, and I breathed out a sigh of relief as Buggy lowered me back to the Lovey Dovey’s deck.

“That was close,” I muttered.

“Damn straight it was!” Buggy exclaimed, and I saw his severed head floating over to me. “Why didn’t you use your club to smack it away like a baseball?”

“It’s damn heavy,” I reminded him. “Could you lift it and me at the same time?”

Buggy opened his mouth to retort, then paused before shaking his head. “Ugh, fine, you got me there.”

His Chopped off body parts floated back to him, all while muttering “Gotta hit the dumbbells soon,” under his breath.

As he returned to his ship, my gaze flickered towards the screw-shaped island in the distance.

‘In the movie, Bear King’s cannon was only finished when Luffy and the rest arrived, and he never had time to start firing it before it was wrecked,’ I thought to myself. ‘Another change from the canon events? I suppose not everything can line up exactly. Though this will be dangerous.’

“That was so cool, captain!” Medaka called out, rushing over to me. “You smacked it away like ‘Kapow!’ And then it went ‘Whoosh!’ and ‘Splash!’”

“Our captain is the best!” Hep, Pep, and Pop cheered. “Go, Alvida! Go!”

“That was impressive,” Eliza said, looking at me with a respectful glint in her eyes.

“That was reckless, more like,” Moodie claimed, folding her arms in disappointment.

“Right! What if you failed? Or fell into the water?” Jodie scolded.

“If I fell, I knew one of you would jump in after me,” I assured them. “And if the plan didn’t work… well, then we’d deal with it.”

“Reckless,” Moodie repeated with a shake of her head, though I could see a tiny smile on her lips.

“What do we do now, though?” Jango wondered, which was a good question. Before I could formulate a response, Buggy spoke up first.

“They attacked us,” Buggy stated, his voice loud enough to be heard from the deck of the Big Top. “And from the distance it came from, along with the speed and trajectory, I’m calculating that damn cannon of theirs will be able to hit us even if the tower is out of sight. We don’t know the exact range, either, so there’s only one option!”

“Take the fight to them and disable the cannon,” I realized.

“Bingo!” he said, snapping his fingers. “A cannon that big has one big weakness! It can’t depress the barrel low enough after a certain point. It could try and raise the barrel and start firing upwards, like a mortar, but repositioning it will take a while. Same with reloading.”

“So we get in close so they can’t shoot at us, and storm the tower,” I said, nodding along. “We take the Trump Pirates down as well as the cannon in order to sail away safely afterwards, and maybe loot a few goodies as a reward.”

“Is that really the best idea?” Jodie asked nervously, Moodie also looking unsure of the plan.

“Hell yeah it is!” Medaka said, smacking a fist into her other hand. “They shot at us! And you heard what Red Nose said! We can’t sail out of range in time! So we gotta kick some butt!”

“What’d you say about my nose, damn brat?!” Buggy shrieked.

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you,” I promised, thumping a fist against my chest as we all ignored Buggy’s outrage. “That’s the duty of a captain!”

“We’re with you all the way, captain!” Pop declared, Hep and Pep going “YEAH!” in agreement with him.

“Aye, they have the right of it,” Jango agreed.

Decision made, we corrected our course and began to sail off towards Clockwork Island along with the Big Top.

“At our current speed, it’ll take an hour to reach it,” Hep informed me as he gripped the ship’s wheel tightly. “We’ll be vulnerable to any cannon fire during that time.”

“Don’t worry, I’m here,” I reassured him, thumping my chest while resting my club across the shoulders.

I then glanced over at Moodie. “Ring up Buggy on the snail, please. I want us to be able to communicate without having to shout at the top of our lungs.”

“Right away, captain!” the ship’s doctor said, rushing to fetch the Transceiver Snail from the cabin.

While she was gone, a second artillery shell came screaming towards us, and I tensed my legs, preparing to leap into the air to smash it out of the sky.

Swiftly judging the angle of the giant bullet, I saw where it was aimed and jumped upwards, my mace swinging towards it. However, when I struck it the shell exploded, sending me crashing back down to the Lovey Dovey.

‘Moon Walk would be a great skill to have right now,’ I groaned as I roughly landed back on the deck, smoke pouring off of my singed clothes. Unfortunately, despite all of the leg training I’d been doing, I wasn’t anywhere close to being able to pull off that technique quite yet.

To my dismay, I saw and heard a third bullet get fired off, the shadow of it arcing through the air. It was no longer aiming at the Lovey Dovey, though, and was instead targeting the Big Top.

I pushed myself back onto my feet and prepared to leap up and strike it down too, but I didn’t need to bother, as a shield flew off of the other ship’s deck and slammed into the bullet, forcing a premature detonation.

‘Ah, Buggy must have grabbed a shield then Chopped off his hand in order to fly it up there,’ I guessed as the dented and battered shield floated back down to the clown captain’s side.

“Here!” Moodie said, breathlessly handing me the snail a moment later.

I quickly dialed in my co-captain’s number and Buggy’s gruff voice (and face) soon came through the telepathic snail.

“What?” he asked, somewhat snappily.

“Just contacting you so we have a line of communication open. No need to shout at each other,” I said, and the red-nosed snail nodded slowly.

“Alright, that makes sense… how are you, by the way? Saw you eat that blast.”

“It hurt like shit,” I grunted, rubbing the spots where bruises were forming. “At least the bullet wasn’t too explosive. I expected more from something that big.”

“True. My Buggy Balls are way stronger,” he claimed. “Though I think that means whatever they’re using is a prototype. Haven’t worked out all the kinks.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” I replied. “…Hey, you think we should steal whatever they’re using to shoot at us? With range like that, I kinda want one for myself.”

“It would be flashy to upgrade our own cannons,” Buggy hummed. “Okay, you convinced me! We’ll steal their cannon!”

“Awesome!” I laughed. I couldn’t wait! Modern day artillery in a world that was still using black powder weapons and sails? Heck yeah!

‘Sure, some groups have a lot more technology, but in general, most pirates and Marines are gonna be traveling in wooden ships without anything nearly as impressive as the cannon Bear King forced the scientists to build,’ I mused.

And speaking of artillery, only one more giant bullet came scream down towards us in an attempt to sink our ships, but it was also deflected, again by Buggy using the now thoroughly battered shield. Once it was dealt with, we had a few minutes of clear skies, which was nice, but we all knew it wouldn’t last.

“Captain Buggy!” somebody on the Big Top shouted, their voice trickling through the transceiver. “We got incoming!”

“He’s right, Captain Alvida!” Pep shouted from his spot in the crow’s nest.

“Well, shit,” I muttered, blinking at the sight of dozens of ships emerging from a hidden cove on Clockwork Island. The Trump Pirate fleet was sailing towards us, their Jolly Rogers flying high.

“Seems like they decided to go for a frontal assault after their super-weapon failed,” Buggy mused.

The pirates approached us, still not opening fire yet, and I quietly began to count them once they were close enough to make out properly.

“Twenty-three, Twenty-four, Twenty-five… Damn! That’s a lot of ships,” I commented. At my side, Hep nodded and swallowed weakly as he manned the helm.

“Bah! They’re mostly merchantman ships, not dedicated warships or pirate vessels! No match for a Buggy Ball or two!” Buggy laughed viciously from the Big Top. “I’ll be able to sink ‘em all!”

He probably could, honestly. Those hyper-explosive cannonballs of his were capable of destroying entire city blocks!

“How can you tell that they’re former merchant ships?” Medaka wondered, and it was Jango who answered for her.

“The lack of dedicated gun decks,” the hypnotist explained. “Merchants will still have cannons, but they’ll mainly be deck guns, the kind you can roll up to the railing and fire when needed. Warships – and most pirate ships – will have a deck or two of their vessels designed to have cannons stored and fired from, which means portholes on the hull. Fairly visible. Merchants won’t typically bother with that, because the space for cannons can be better used for more cargo.”

“Interesting, I suppose,” Eliza hummed. “Where did you learn that?”

“Even before I was the interim captain of the Black Cat Pirates, I was the one who did most of the scouting and picking out targets,” he replied. “It’s a poor pirate who can’t recognize their targets.”

“Uh, that’s fascinating and all, but they’re getting closer,” Jodie said nervously.

“They haven’t started shooting at us, so I think they want to talk,” I guessed. “Probably want to intimidate us into handing over our stuff or joining ‘em.”

“Most likely,” Buggy agreed. “I’m kinda curious to hear what they want to say.”

“Same,” I nodded.

Soon enough, one of the few ships that was built for naval combat pulled ahead of the rest. It was a rather impressive galleon with the oddest addition of a hot tub for a figurehead. And bathing buck naked within it was none other than a very leggy blonde woman.

This was none other than Honey Queen, the user of the Liquid-Liquid Fruit, and one of the Trump Pirate’s top officers. She was extremely beautiful, and I had to keep my jaw from dropping as my eyes roamed over her body. Especially when she rose up, rivulets of white, creamy liquid running down her very generous curves.

‘Oh, so it’s milk!’ I hummed in understanding, recognizing the substance. That explained how a Devil Fruit user like her could bathe so freely without risking the curse. So long as it wasn’t water, she’d be perfectly – well mostly – fine.

‘Thank God I don’t have to deal with that anymore,’ I thought with a wince of sympathy for poor Buggy.

Due to my Smooth-Smooth Fruit, I could no longer sweat, but more importantly, dirt, dead skin, grime, and everything that normally needed to be washed off simply Slid off of me now.

I could take a damp washcloth to myself every so often if I so desired – and occasionally did, just to feel normal – but I no longer needed to bathe in order to stay clean.

“My, my, my!” Honey’s sweet voice rang out, carried from her ship over to ours. “You guys are quite strong, aren’t you? And… it is! Hiii~ Buggy! Long time no see!”

“Obviously we’re strong,” Buggy snorted. “What do you want, Honey Queen? It’s been seven years since you and the rest of the Trump Pirates have bothered to venture very far beyond your little fiefdom. So, why did you try and sink me and Alvida?”

“Big brother Bear King was just testing his new weapon!” she replied with a drawl, kicking a leg out and sending droplets of milk flying. “But since you’ve gone and ruined his good mood by not dying, he decided to send me out to give ya the standard recruitment spiel.”

“Superweapons hardly ever work,” I claimed, unable to help myself. “Especially something so basic as a cannon anyone could make. How did your brother think he’d be able to conquer anybody with it?”

“Bear King’s machinations are beyond some piddly little pirates like yourselves,” Honey Queen scoffed.

“Piddly?!” Buggy huffed, insulted. “My bounty is higher than his! I’m flashier than some jumped up throw rug!”

“I take it you won’t be accepting his very generous offer for you to join the Trump Pirates?” she pouted. “A shame.”

Honey Queen’s eyes glanced over to me, her own gaze roaming over my body. “You know, I could be convinced to get my big brother to forgive you all if you hand that woman over,” she declared, pointing towards me. “What do you say, cutie? All you have to do is marry Bear King and your friends go free!”

“Sorry, babe, but if I was to marry anybody, it’d be you,” I told her, winking at the Logia.

A smirk slipped onto my lips at the sight of the blush that spread across the pirate’s face, and she spluttered.

“Wha-! No! That’s not part of the deal!” she shot back.

“Shame,” I shrugged, mirroring her words from earlier.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Moodie pouting at me. Clearly, she wasn’t a fan of my flirting with Honey. I decided to ignore it for now, because quite frankly we had bigger things to worry about.

‘First we gotta deal with the Trump Pirates,’ I thought.

“Fine! If you won’t surrender, then you’ll have to sink!” Honey Queen huffed.

With a snap of her fingers, oars emerged from the ship she was on, and it began to row backwards to rejoin the rest of the fleet all while cannons began to pop out of the other ships.

“Looks like negotiations broke down,” Buggy chuckled, which brought a round of nervous laughter from my own crew.

“Sure did,” I replied. “Planning to use a Buggy Ball on ‘em?”

“Gonna use one of my newer models. I’ve been experimenting with upping the explosive power ever since that fight with Straw Hat,” he informed me.

“Alright, but try not to hit the island itself!” I requested.

As cool as it might be to witness, I had no wish to see the whole thing fall like a chopped down tree.

For a moment, Buggy looked like he wanted to do just that. How many men can claim to have toppled an entire island? But thankfully he wrestled that urge down and instead just aimed a cannon straight at the middle of the fleet, targeting Honey Queen’s flagship specifically.

“FIRE!” he roared, pointing a finger dramatically at the Trump Pirate ships, and the Buggy Cannon roared back.

The bright red cannon ball screamed through the air and hurtled towards the Trump Pirate Fleet, smashing into Honey Queen’s flagship and transforming the ocean into short-lived a maelstrom as it detonated. The explosion was massive, kicking up huge waves that battered the ships and outright sank several others, to say nothing of the vessels obliterated by the blast directly.

In a single shot, a full third of the Trump Pirate fleet was gone, either reduced to splinters or in the process of sinking beneath the waves. The remaining two-thirds split apart, one group fleeing deeper into the waters of East Blue, while the other rushed back to Clockwork Island.

I also caught a glimpse of a pink figure flying through the air away from the remains of the flagship, Honey Queen having surviving thanks to her Logia Devil Fruit. Bear King’s vice-captain landed on the deck of one of the ships returning to Clockwork Island, and began shouting orders, though we were too far to hear anything.

‘Wonder if Boo Jack was onboard her ship when Buggy blew it up?’ I mused to myself. If so, he was probably dead.

People could survive a lot, even here in the East Blue, but I had a feeling that being exploded like that was still rather lethal – again, for the East Blue. Somebody from the Grand Line could probably tank the shot.

“Well, you sure showed ‘em who the bosses around here are,” I commented as my crew picked their jaws off of the deck at the sight of the aftermath from one of Buggy’s infamous cannonball.

“Aye. Now full speed ahead towards the island,” he grunted. “We’re not done yet.”

“Still want to take them down?” I asked.

“Of course! You don’t shoot at Buggy the Clown and expect to get away with just a warning shot in return!” the red-nosed captain declared viciously. “The Trump Pirates are gonna pay!”

I merely nodded in agreement, a vicious smile slowly creeping across my lips. Finally, a chance to stretch and relieve some of the boredom I’d been having!