NRaO Chapter 03 (Patreon)

“Hello there students. Can you believe I got paired with you as your squad leader.” He had a gigantic smirk on his face like he couldn’t pick us as his students. Well the team makes more sense now. We have the top student, a granddaughter of the previous leader of the village and a fodder ninja we can sacrifice if the mission calls for it.

He tried to make light hearted conversation and hand out old stale candy which I do end up taking. Food is food and this can probably last another year before it becomes inedible. He asked another leading question to all of us. “Well, we should get to know each other a little better. If we could just hear everyone's name, maybe a like or dislike and their ambition it would help us understand one another a little better.”

“My name is Orochimaru. I like training, eating and sleeping. I dislike seeing people squander their talent, running out of food and being woken up. My ambition is to fix the entire ninja world.” Hiruzen cleared his throat before asking. “What do you mean fix the ninja world?”

I thought about it more than I said. “Well for starters the schooling system we have for teaching ninjas is very faulty. Why is everyone taught to use kunai but not taught more than one chakra control exercise? The failure rate of the school and the death rate for the first actually dangerous mission are far too high. Something is fundamentally wrong with the system if so many can’t succeed or die.”

Hiruzen looked on in shock at what the young man said. He had never really thought about what he learned from school because it was so insignificant. Most people would learn from their squad leader and make their own ninjutsu, at least the successful ones did. Hiruzen didn’t know that even the child Orochimaru replaced saw the flaws in the schooling system.

If you were to check the recorded deaths of enemy shinobi from kunai would be one or two a year while the accidental deaths from people carrying them were just as high and that’s not including the cost of kunai and shurikens plus smaller non fatal injuries people received from them.  

Kunai kind of makes sense but anyone who looked further into it would know that kunai throwing is taught because of the blacksmith’s of the village petitioning the previous Hokage and through bribes it was deemed necessary for the curriculum. Many of the classes were made for that same reason resulting in very little information important to being a ninja ended up being taught.

I pointed out another thing. “Also the Hokage position really shouldn’t belong to the strongest ninja in the village.” Hiruzen started to get a little mad at the boy. “Oh?” I kept going. “The only people that benefit from putting our strongest ninja behind a desk and making him do paperwork are our enemies. The strongest should be out coordinating teams to take down our enemies or doing the harder missions.”

Once again I spoke perfectly sound logic but it irritated Hiruzen that the position he sought so hard was looked down at as just a desk job. He was leading a team right now wasn’t he? The paperwork only took an hour or two a day. If it stays at that level then of course it makes sense for him to be able to do that and also lead a team. Perhaps in the future it also made sense for him to lead bigger missions but the war just ended. He had the free time to lead a team until the peaceful period came to an end.

I continued having been sidetracked explaining myself to the Hokage. “My true ambition is to make a new clan. To do that I’ll need five to ten wives and many children. So my main ambition is to find and fight strong female ninjas and convert them to Konoha. The two students who weren’t paying much attention both had two wildly different reactions to what I said. The girl got angry while the white haired youth gave a thumbs up.

Tsunade went next. “My name is Tsunade. I like fighting and healing others. I dislike the formation lessons grandma Mito makes me take. Finally my ambition is to become the world's strongest doctor.” She puffed her nonexistent chest out with her hands on her hips. It was hard not to laugh in her face. God these mouthy ones always end up stunting their growth, she’ll probably end up the same size she is now and I feel bad for whoever ends up with her.

The boy pretended to sleep through my introduction until the end but was enamored by hers. Well we found the sucker who will end up with her. At least for a few years until he dies. He stood up and pointed at himself.

“The names Jiraiya. My likes are pretty faces and big breasts. Dislikes men with pretty faces who get all the women so easily. Ambition is to have lots of sex and sire dozens of little baby ninjas. Also to have a harem of over one hundred women. Also to become the strongest ninja in the village.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the end. The chuckle turned into full blown belly laughter as he got mad at me laughing. “Y-your one of the weakest ninjas I’ve ever seen! I’d like to hear your plan on how to become the strongest.” He put on a sneer and raised his head up. “By being a gutsy ninja who outworks the competition.”

Tears form in my eyes as I can’t take it anymore. At least we’ll have entertainment on our missions because this boy is a complete clown. I told him. “We had class together you idiot. How do you plan on working harder than the rest of us while you’re asleep?” 

He grit his teeth before stating. “I didn’t laugh at your stupid dream.” I wipe the tears out of my eye. “Because my ambition is possible. You were the weakest in our class let alone the team you're in. We have me at the top of the class, the heir of the Senju clan, the current Hokage and you, the fodder.”

He rushes at me and I take a decent fighting stance and jab him in the chin. What I think would have been a good deterrent to stop him from attacking again knocked him unconscious. I said confusedly. “I’m sorry for knocking him unconscious. I really didn’t think he was so weak.”

“Alright now that we’ve gotten introductions over with, we’ll wait for Jiraiya to wake up and have your final test to graduate. The three of you will have to steal these two bells off me and only two will pass.”