IM/DC Chapter 219 (Patreon)

I sat in the eight-man spaceship the Marauders owned. It still was crazy to me that I was going into space with the freaking X-men. Not the Justice League, not the fantastic four, or any of the other well-known space-fairing comic book teams but the fucking Marauders. Kitty Pryde flipped buttons as if she had done it hundreds of times.

To be fair, they did time travel in the comics. If I didn’t know that time travel was off the table she very well could have done this hundreds of times. They had most likely only flown into space a handful of times and as this was another newer version of the crew missing a few members and having several new faces, I wait as the ship flies up and we exit the atmosphere in a fairly anticlimactic way.

The Earth’s gravitational pull on a spaceship from this world stood no chance, and the normal fanfare of rockets firing to push the ship into space didn’t happen either, as it practically just floated into space. I felt no G-force, and I wasn’t pressed into my seat from the sudden increase in speed. It was like that one scene in Futurama where Fry does the countdown to go into space and gets to nine before they’re at the moon already.

It will still take us weeks of space travel to get anywhere good anyway. The biggest chunk of space travel just spent going from one location to another. I started to fiddle with the seatbelt that strapped me down before Kitty spoke up. “Alright, should be fine to move around now.” We didn’t need to be sat down and buckled in but it was just an extra precaution.

The ship was small, the rooms were only about the size of a person with four bunks in each, one on each side of the ship letting eight people travel. The food is only enough for about a month which is just enough to get us out of the backwater galaxy we’re in. The next week the small confined spaces started to get on everyone's nerves.

With limited water, most people were only allowed a single four-minute shower over the entire course of the trip. The large storage room that also functioned as the living area had a set time where we each watched whatever that person wanted for two-hour increments. Even with only six people on the ship (2 less than the capacity it could house) it was still awful.

Especially because I was going out of my way to annoy people by the third day. To be fair, I was very bored as well and it had started with a prank pulled on me by Kitty. We were about halfway to the nearest galactic empire when I decided I was done playing around. “Welp, I’m gonna peace out for now, since I have a homing stone I can always teleport to the ship I’ll teleport back when we get closer. Peace out.”

With that, I gave the peace sign and teleport off the ship.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Kitty Pryde’s Point of View

“THAT MOTHERFUCKER COULD LEAVE AT ANY TIME!?” I couldn’t help but scream as I woke up Wolverine who had been pretty much hibernating the entire trip. Slamming my hand down on one of the crates of food I almost broke it before Gambit spoke with a thick French and Cajun accent. “Well, what did you expect mon cheri? We bein paid good money to head there. He didn’t say nothin' bout comin' along with us.”

I was so mad at him for this! Not only was he making the trip more miserable by being here he also kept everyone up as he had sex with the two other women who came on this trip as well. Polaris yawned as she made a bowl of cereal already expecting this outcome as well. The only person who seemed upset by what happened was me.

It wasn’t just that we had a person on the ship eating our limited food and being annoying, he also made it impossible for me to get any sleep and the little prank I played on him on the first day backfired as he didn’t sleep with me. Polaris and Armor were definitely pregnant as they went at it like bunny rabbits. Every single night for multiple hours the only thing I could hear was one if not both of the women loudly moaning in pleasure.

Armor followed out next rubbing her eyes as she yawned and asked. “What’s up?” I couldn’t help but explain again. “Danny could have left at any point and just teleported back on the ship once we got there.” Armor looked at me confused as she asked. “He didn’t mention that to you? He’s been bringing me candy and other things from Earth every once in a while.”

Everyone else confirmed they were also getting things delivered by teleportation trips back to Earth, I felt my eye twitching. The guys also had their room expanded with space magic and the four of them had their own separate full-size beds to sleep on, so he was fucking Polaris and Armor in those small beds just to fuck with me. “Are you serious!?”

All because I pulled a harmless prank on him he did this to me? “Is he a fucking psychopath!?” I couldn’t help but be furious at the entire situation. I put a piece of tape in front of the boys' door, not even targeting Danny, and this entire time he could have expanded the inside of our ship and made the trip easier for all of us. I heard his voice speak from behind one of the crates of supplies at the back of the ship.

“Hello. Is anyone there? Can you pull me out real quick… I’m waiting.” I looked over confused as I moved the crate and saw a tape recorder placed down. “By now I’ll have left and hopefully someone will have explained that I have been helping everyone else but Kitty because she pulled a prank on me.” I yell again. “It was a harmless joke.” 

He speaks as if he heard what I said. “Now, she’ll probably have yelled out at me, probably something like ‘It’s not that big a deal!’ or ‘It was a joke!’ something along that line.” He chuckled before continuing. “Well, so is what I did. I could have made it easier on everyone but it was way funnier not including you because of something so petty as tape touching my face for a second and you snort laughing at the clearly not funny thing.”

He sighed as he explained. “A group of my friends had a prank war during the actual war. It started out exactly like this, seemingly harmless pranks that escalated to more and more severe ones. It ended when one of my friends tried to recreate the blood scene from Carrie except the bucket fell down and hit the person on the head paralyzing him… Since then whenever anyone tries to prank me I immediately escalate it to extremes so it’s not fun for them. That’s why this tape recorder is set to explode glitter over everything making it impossible for the ship to ever be clean again.”

Everyone’s eyes went wide as the tape recorder still in my hand exploded into a cloud of glitter, as if by magic, covering every surface of the ship. All of us began to curse at the same time.