RiaN Chapter 05 (Patreon)

Being reborn isn't that great. If I had the choice, I'd choose to be put into someone older. It was fine for the first few weeks. Most of my time was spent eating, pooping, and sleeping. After that, though, I couldn’t do anything but be awake, with only my thoughts to keep my mind busy. The first time I saw my mom, I had to do a double-take because she looks like the frog lady from MHA. Her hair was a lighter shade, and her body was more motherly on account of her being a mother, but it was very close.

My parents were both good-looking, so I wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb with my handsome appearance. If my father was ugly, they might question if I was actually my father’s child. My father was handsome, looked similar to Naruto, except with a bulkier body, thick red beard, and eye patch, giving him an incredibly manly appearance.

I was happy, and my father was rich. Not only my mother but also a group of maids took care of me. The conversations I heard made it clear that he was important and my mother was his fifth wife. Even still, I could feel the love between the two.

They moved off into a room, leaving only a maid behind to take care of me. She was moderately attractive; most of the maids were. I think she was a personal maid of my mother's, though, while I would get my own maid later, or she'd become my maid and my mother would get a new one.

I’d have to start doing baby crunches when I could move without risking my neck breaking. I wonder what else I could do as a baby to improve my adult body. If I started mewing now, I could get a jawline sharp enough to cut steel. Could I pull a Rudeus from Mushoku Tensei and start using chakra as an infant to make myself OP? 

If you added up all my ages from the different worlds together, I’d be in my late twenties. I wasn’t worldly or well-rounded though; most of my life experience came from living in the hero world. Bartering wasn’t something you ever had to do in a civilized world, but it was an absolute necessity in the hero world and would be as well in this one.

Most of my kekkei mora was locked, and I couldn’t tell what they did. More of it would unlock as I grew older or became stronger it seemed, which was fair. It was likely the workaround, so I wasn’t an uber-powerful baby. It might just be part of the kekkei mora, though. The only power I knew I had was an almost indestructible barrier. The barrier's size was only about the length of an adult man's hand, but I knew as I got older it would expand.

Weeks became months. Finally, I was strong enough to crawl. I thought it was fast, but I learned that the age a baby crawls normally shows how strong their body is for taijutsu, and that three months was great but something other people could easily accomplish as well. My mother explained that in the Might family, which was in a beneficial arrangement with the Uzumaki, most of their children could crawl by the first month.

Everything I learned made it clear this world was far different than the one from the anime. My mothers and the maids gossiped, which helped me learn more things that weren’t explained in the Naruto show. The Might clan was a mid-sized clan. It meant that there were over a hundred ninja in their clan. Most of which came from the loins of Might Dai(Duy). That guy became a breeding stallion with plenty of wives and created a clan in two generations.

He wasn’t the most impressive, though. Uncle Snake had created a large clan in just his generation. Large clans had over a thousand active ninjas. He took two hundred wives and his children and grandchildren made reached over two thousand ninja at this point. From what I heard, this wasn’t the only village he had clans in, with similar sized harems in each shinobi village.

That was just excessive, in my opinion. How did he have the time to manage all those women? Extreme overkill to the point of ridiculousness, but it somehow worked out in his favor as he was the shadow ruler of the entire world. Many of the high-ranking women were his wives. Or he was. There was a large-scale battle about ten years ago, and a city-sized chunk was torn from the land, making a lake near Konoha.

No one knew who Orochi had fought. He had gone missing at that point, and many assumed he was dead. Only I knew that he was still alive; if he wasn’t then I could have selected this world without Orochi. It had me wondering what Uncle Snake was up to. Was he the Big Bad?

The gigantic-tailed beast attack that happened a few days later, which killed the Hokage, made it clear that Obito was still running amuck. Many things played out differently than they did in the story. For one, no Hiruzen. It meant there was more collateral damage done to the city. The second thing that happened, the Uchiha clansmen were allowed to help quell the beast. Apparently, Fugaku was Hokage at some point but gave up his position to Minato.

The Uchiha massacre was most likely not going to happen then… Damnit, if I knew, I might have picked special eyes instead of Senju. I was mid pooping myself when a thought entered my mind. My mother was Senju… I hadn’t really thought about it, but it meant that her father or mother had to be Senju. Her mother was something called a pseudojinchuriki from the Toad village, but my grandfather was Jiraiya.

Jiraiya was a fucking Senju!? More pieces came into play in my mind. I knew that Tsunade got together with Orochi in this world, but that didn’t happen in Naruto. In Naruto, Jiraiya pined after Tsunade up until the day he died, but it seemed they were technically cousins. EWW, dude, gross! Marriage between family members was still a thing in this world, but it was for distantly related ones a few generations removed from each other, not straight cousins.

That meant Tobirama was my great-grandpa, and I doubt anyone knew that. At least, it seemed that way, anyways. Somehow, Tobirama being Jiraiya’s father never came up. I wasn’t sure why that was a thing or if that was a thing in the original Naruto world or just part of this one. Pseudojinchuriki weren’t a thing in Naruto, but it seemed I was a quarter of one.

It meant one-eighth of my blood wasn’t even human. I was part toad or frog beast. I wasn’t sure what that meant for me; I just knew that the larger tongue I gained from my heritage would make many of my future wives happy.