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Aaron S

Do you think Yuan knows that the rock people are from one of his masters old opponents? They might even have some sort of karma with him.

LordRhyolith

That guy's creations might have been famous enough in the Nexus. He was famous enough himself and was beaten by that World Tree Guy, who might have been Yuan's former master? There's a high chance that he recognizes these Rocky-People.

Summer Coff

Ooh, this will dilute some of the heat on Ke Yin, sending that disciple directly to Yuan.

Carter Swafford

I agree with the others. It doesn’t make sense for that quadrant to be crowded, especially since lithari often live in tunnels and caverns, which are likely somewhat cramped. I recommend you edit that bit and find another reason to let some lithari go to sect master yuan’s inner world, if it’s truly necessary for the plot. If it’s not necessary then I’d recommend just leaving it off entirely

Endgame

I don't think so. The sect master doesn't produce Geo-Qi. And now that Ke has made it so his inner-world produces it, he will "smell" like it more.

First Name Last Name

My guess is the plot point for the lady to track it down to his master since he’s off in the continent and she went to check Azure peak first because of what her master said, which I mean I get the line, but logic wise doesn’t make much sense for the characters. I mean after 3 days they were complaining about low geo-qi and yet they are going to sit in his inner world for who knows long

GreatCabbage

It’s been mentioned a ton, but I’ve gotta agree that the mountains being crowded doesn’t check out given the size and seemingly semi-subterranean nature of the Lithari. I think it’s an interesting plot point, but the reason given for it doesn’t mesh well with everything else

Joyeus

The numbers just aren’t making sense to me. A population of 800, and that number seems a bit high I thought only a couple hundred went through the portal, spreed over ~12k area isn’t that cramped. How is sending 7.5% away going to help with that supposed congestion?

GreatCabbage

This edit makes a ton more sense!!!

AutumnLeaves

The re-read was so much better! Awesome job on the fix. :)

Rina

Much better! Small note “ “I used to be no one,” he had said during one of our convos.” change convos to conversations.

Rina

You should probably send a notice that you’ve reworked this chapter a bit so people don’t miss it

harkange 585

The edit is really nice, not only did you clarify that Ke Yin was in fact thinking long term but you also showed how they actually did the transfer. Like mentioned in another comment it would probably be best to warn people of the rewrite so it's not only the new readers that get to enjoy the update

Joyeus

The rewrite is much better. 🙏 ❤️ the plan being just a way to ease the lithargi into traveling worlds in case they grow to fast and also give them something to keep them busy is a lot better explanation for why they are traveling between worlds. Though I still have one question. How did those other cultivators keep lithargi as slaves without Geo-Qi? The ones their creator sold a millennia ago.