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Mortals - An Impractical Guide to Godhood 38 unbetaed (Patreon)

Published:
2026-01-03 08:33:20
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Happy New Year!

I wish all the readers/minions/treacherous lieutenants/partners in tyranny and crime (remove the choices you think don't fit for you) a happy new year of 2026, and if you hear the explosions in the distance, it's the Tyrant celebrating (sigh).

The Titan's Game can truly begins, and it is going to be...murderous and crazy, as one can expect. But first the Cupbearer Events must take place...in this regard, this chapter is the first part out of two (with 34,000 words, I wisely decided to stop where I did, and to go for a second chapter for the rest).

Okay. Here we go, the chapter is the thirty-eighth of An Impractical Guide to Godhood, and it is called Mortals.

Enjoy!

(announcement of future stories to be made in a later post today)

Comments

foo-jin

Happy new year!

Yetsush

Hell yeah! Was looking forward to this and you did not disappoint. Perseus outsmarting everyone, except y'know Aphrodite. I guess Hana is now one of the 13, as well as going to take over Eris' domains. Brito looking sus tho, idk why she would betray Artemis tho after the Coalition threw her in there. Wonder if Lityerses will survive in the end, as the resurrection will allow the vision of Perseus killing him to come true. Guess Midas appears and orders him with the Styx oath. Looking forward to more!

Forgottenone

Welp that's a nasty ritual, but I think the CO of nasty everything going to be surprised when the cup bearer of the moon shows up at the ritual site. Cause I got a feeling they went too far and actually reached demonic. No way that can backfire at all.

Forgottenone

Just to double check the ground didn't break at all with the earthquake cause tossing the skull and pillers into the sacrifice pit sound ritual breaking. But obvious enough to guard against.

Antony444
>>198592876

The Coalition using something demonic is in fact part of their plan, and something they're prepared for. Whether it is a good idea in the long run...well, it's probably not. But if offers them a defense against Bianca di Angelo.

Antony444
>>198591073

When Aphrodite's only goal is to make sure you have a super-large harem, you're assuredly going to lose against her...(evil grin).

Sagewizard88

Seeing Artemis break down into tears, I naively assumed she would be easy to control for a few days until she gained a fraction of power (and 10 times that in arrogance). But alas, it seems the arrogance and entitlement returned even before the power did.... How much of Prophecies being 'I' is Apollo's fault, and how much Kronos' and Python's? It was rather interesting seeing all his domains. Though I think Artemis' would be even more interesting. I wonder why Octavian didn't try to become the Cupbearer. Perhaps he gained a modicum of sense and realised he stood no chance? Maybe he'll try another Fool? You know what, I just had an incredible vision of him becoming Phaeton's Cupbearer. Two imbeciles joined together. Poetic. I assume the enemy immortals were not stripped of their powers to as extreme an extent as Apollo/Artemis? Could Perseus at this moment kill, say, Prometheus or Atlas one-on-one? Though I wonder if Prometheus will even "participate" in the games. He's not a Fool, I doubt he'll become a Cupbearer, so he could just hide somewhere during the trials or do the bare minimum. That would certainly be the smartest strategy to survive (for anyone friendly with the Coalition). Perseus sure has made a habit of annoying people with his "sandwich time". And his copyright infringements as well. Hana's life has sure done a 180 in the past 24 hours. Hail Aphrodite! I'm curious if she's the last of the "three" or the first of the "seventeen".

El

Happy new year and thanks for the chapter ! Really good chapter, I cannot wait for the next one. I wonder about Annabeth and Lou Ellen reactions to the not so discrets actions of Perseus and Hana. And concerning that ritual : If I remember correctly, Bianca main fame as Dread Empress was being the best diabolist/demonist around. Is it not risky for the coalition to play in the demoniac field when Bianca is the opposition ? Or is it not and the ritual is something totally opposite to what she did back in Praes ?

Eli

happy new year and thank you for the chapter, it seems that the madness is only intensifying. I am really looking forward to the next chapter.

the batman

so, in next chapters are we going to see the cupbear quest of other 12 powerful demigods? or will it be finished in next chapter itself by just showing the highlight of others working in kyshu and the volcano. ? also what is really demonic in riordanverse?? i don't know... i mean hell is already under greek control proxy of hades, so where does demons lie?? demons is just fundamental opposite of gods? or demons here is just an corrupted gods/titans/primoridals who only spread hate,rage or negative emotions?

Antony444
>>198608660

There is an amount of risk to involving the demonic field, yes, but the Coalition has judged the risk acceptable, and is only tangentially related to the stuff Bianca did on her bad days in Praes.

Antony444
>>198670887

If everything goes to plan, the next chapter will get all the rest of the Cupbearers (11 since Perseus has finished his). As for the rest of the questions...well, I promise some will be answered in due time (evil cackling).

Antony444
>>198606303

Apollo being at 'I' is about 20-30% his fault, the rest is due to enemy action or problems intrinsic to the problem he could do nothing about when he took it. Octavian finally decided that since everyone was telling him the role of Cupbearer would transform him into a smoking corpse, they were more productive approaches. No, no, everyone is stripped of the divine powers and limited to a very frail form for the time being. On this point, the Coalition didn't have a choice to begin with. The Titan's Game is extremely 'fair' for everyone (plus the initial ritual Zeus intervened was already in progress, they couldn't change it on a mere whim...)

Manan Kothari

Weird question more related to the APGTE side of things, how exactly do rule and wish work here? Rule specifically confuses me, since we have the highest tier of reality, the gods themselves, saying Kairos as Percy could control any plan in his favor, divine and mortal. How is his rule not capable of altering the complete surroundings around him? Kairos did weather as a tyrant, as a son of poseidon shouldn’t rule practically turn into a domain expansion from JJK? Wish I mostly understand, but I was wondering if there’s something blocking it from helping with divine analysis the same way he used it for information against Named back in Creation? As for the chapter itself, beautiful as always. The cupbearer trial had me laughing the entire way throughout, I need to remember that people will be psychologically ruined because a Killdozer, a dionysus adventure(extra shoutout to this, around book 2 I brought up how much I love your Dionysus, this was the personification of everything I meant. This is a modern dionysian weapon),The Mizukage of the Hidden Village of the Mists, and Indiana jones had me rolling. Triumphant Bianca as easy to rile up as ever, though i will say her solution seems to be far far more effective than Perseus’ . I expect Bianca to be the dominant one in her shogun-emperor role and for artemis to very much be a figurehead except for the hunters. This will be fun. I didn’t find too many hints for the far future or overall plot here, besides the glaring flags of Menotious’s ooze, the real dangers of Typhon starting to build up, and a solid hint towards Pythons real plans since the only major thing he needs is the death of Apollo once to gain his largest prize, prophecies. Echidna has to have more to her than a tragic ending to a tragic story, so I want to believe that we’ll start to see more of her coming through. Thanks for the chapter again!

Appcko Rampla

Okay we've seen that Domain Apollo is most synchronized with is The Sun what I want to know is how bad is the synchronization between Artemis and The Moon, considering the foreshadowing we had in the first book like the fact that The Moon itself would prefer Neo Seline.

Antony444
>>199123223

I think the short answer is 'bad', though of course there is enemy action to take into account (like the aforementioned Neo Selene). But yes, Artemis does not have the synchronisation of Apollo's Sun when it comes to the Moon.