The Fox Hole 41 (Patreon)

Chapter 41: Black Wings and Pranks gone wrong

– Haru –

I couldn’t help but crack up, along with the other patrons in the Fox Hole, when Aela walked in with a man tied up and slung over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Gabriel followed behind her, smiling serenely as always, while Sansa trailed behind with her hands covering her face. She looked like she wanted to disappear into the floor from sheer embarrassment…

Aela strutted through the room, completely unbothered by the attention she was drawing. A couple of regulars gave her high fives, which she returned with a grin before unceremoniously plopping her "kidnapping victim" down on an empty barstool.

"Hey there, Azazel. It’s been a while," I said, eyeing the leader of the Fallen Angels. His hair was slightly disheveled, and his clothes were scuffed and torn in a few places. He sported a couple of bruises, but nothing serious. I knew damn well he could heal himself instantly if he wanted to, which told me he was just playing along with… whatever this was.

Azazel gave me a lazy smirk, clearly unfazed by his current predicament. "Yo, Haru! It has been a while. This is a nice setup you’ve got here," he complimented while looking around.

“Thanks, welcome to the Fox Hole. My restaurant that proudly caters to patrons from all across the multiverse.”

Azazel shook his head and chuckled. Clearly thinking I was just messing with him.

"So," I said, leaning on the counter and looking directly at Gabriel, "why did you three kidnap the leader of an entire faction?" She was supposed to be in charge of Aela and Sansa when they went to pick up Asia from the airport—a task they obviously didn’t succeed at. I didn’t see a little blonde girl with any of them.

Gabriel pouted adorably. "He was being difficult," she said.

"I wasn’t being difficult!" Azazel whined, turning to her while playfully looking offended. "I told you I don’t know anything about who grabbed the girl!" Then his attention shifted back to me, and his smirk returned. "So, little Haru. How'd you get involved in all this? It’s been a couple of years, and look at you—already all grown up with a face that probably breaks hearts on the daily. You got a girlfriend yet, kid?" 

Before I could answer, Aela interjected, puffing out her chest proudly as she took a seat at the counter. "He has me, along with my other future sisters!" she declared.

Azazel chuckled, nodding at me in approval. "So you like the sexy Viking women thing, huh? I can respect that...wait? …Did she say others!? Damn, I'm so proud of you kid! Hey, just a side note. Is your mom still single–ouchy!"

Gabriel smacked Azazel upside the head for that final comment. Gabriel scolded Azazel like a big sister would to her little brother, and not like they’d been enemies for thousands of years at this point. "You’ve caused quite enough problems with your illicit relationships over the years. Lady Yasaka, Haru, and the entire yokai faction are very important to the affairs of Heaven and the devils in the Underworld. Keep your crass comments to yourself, lest you further alienate your own faction, little brother."

Azazel raised his hands in mock surrender, his smirk faltering slightly. "Sheesh… I feel like I’ve missed out on something big. Since when did alliances like this pop out of nowhere?" he muttered, more to himself than anyone else. "I’ll figure it out later."

I cleared my throat, deciding to steer the conversation back to something more productive. "Maybe we should get back on topic," I suggested, reaching under the counter to grab a mug. I filled it with mead and slid it across to Aela, who practically lit up as she caught it.

"Thanks, lover," she said, taking a long sip before sighing contentedly.

I also placed a glass in front of Azazel. The ropes binding him fell to the ground instantly, proving he could have escaped at any time. He reached for the glass without hesitation or any worries that it could be poisoned—not that I’d ever allow such a thing in my restaurant. Azazel took a couple of sips before letting out a pleased sigh. "That’s a good brand right there," he commented, swirling the liquid in his glass. Then he leaned back slightly, looking far too relaxed for someone who had just been dragged into my restaurant. "The women in this world… they’re too violent sometimes when they want something. Sometimes you just gotta sit back and have a drink before conducting business," Azazel explained with a casual shrug.

Aela huffed in response, clearly unimpressed, while Gabriel let out a tired sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Could you stop being so difficult?" she asked, her tone exasperated but still calm. "I wouldn’t have had to kidnap you if you’d just told me what happened to Asia Argento."

Azazel held up his hands again, this time looking more serious. "I’m telling you the truth. I have no idea! If some Fallen Angels took her, it wasn’t on my orders. I’ve got a couple of subordinates in Japan, but they’re mostly supposed to be doing reconnaissance."

Gabriel’s eyes narrowed, her serene demeanor slipping as she scrutinized him. "You swear you’re not lying?"

Azazel’s smirk returned, but his voice was steady. "I swear."

I wasn’t particularly happy when Azazel admitted to having multiple groups of spies in Japan. "What exactly are they doing?" I asked while narrowing my eyes at him. 

Gabriel shot Azazel a small glare. "You’re risking breaking the temporary peace we have. This isn’t something to take lightly."

Azazel finished the last of his drink before setting the mug down. "Nothing nefarious, I assure you," he said smoothly. "I was just trying to make sure a nuclear dragon didn’t accidentally go off on all of us."

Gabriel’s head tilted slightly, confusion flashing across her face before realization struck. Her eyes widened. "You found the other Dragon Emperor? Is he in danger of losing control?"

"Losing control? What does that mean?" Sansa asked, her brow furrowed as she glanced between the two of them. “And what’s a Dragon Emperor?”

Azazel turned his attention to her, a smirk tugging at his lips as he winked. "I’ll tell you specifically because you tried to get these two lovely ladies to not beat me up and drag me here. And because you’re beautiful…"

Sansa immediately crossed her arms and gestured toward me with a flick of her hand. "Sorry, but I’m spoken for."

Azazel chuckled, leaning back slightly. "Damn, Haru, you’re living the dream," he teased before clearing his throat. "Alright, I’ll explain anyway. This is important information, and it’s something even you probably don’t know, Haru."

I raised an eyebrow, motioning for him to continue.

Azazel’s smirk softened into a more serious expression as he began. "Some Sacred Gears are inherently flawed, especially the ones powered by emotions—like the Boosted Gear. Those gears can accidentally trigger themselves if the wielder is very emotional or passionate…"

Like a certain perverted protagonist I knew...

"Normally, it’s not a big deal," Azazel explained. "But when it happens with Longinus-class gears, things can get… messy. Longinus gears tend to go out of control and violently explode. And by explode, I mean nuclear-level explosions. Violent, destructive, uncontrollable..."

Gabriel’s eyes darkened, and even Aela set her mug down to listen more closely.

"Wait, what?" I asked. "How is that even possible?"

Azazel shrugged. "It's not common knowledge but some of the larger lakes and craters in the world aren’t naturally formed. They were created by past Longinus users accidentally going boom from having too much power and no idea how to handle it. It’s rare, but it’s not impossible. And when it happens, it’s catastrophic."

Sansa’s expression shifted to concern. "So… this Dragon Emperor you mentioned, is he in danger of… exploding?"

Azazel nodded. "Potentially, yes. At least he was... Until he vanished."

“Huh?” What did Azazel mean by Issei Hyoudou just vanished?

Azazel leaned back in his chair. "I had one of my… more enthusiastic agents, Raynare, investigating Issei Hyoudou. To get closer to him, she pretended to be a student and even asked him out on a date. Everything was going according to plan until halfway through the date. Before she could finish scanning him, a random blue portal popped up right next to Issei and sucked him inside, right before her eyes." Azazel explained.

"What?" I blinked, trying to process what I’d just heard.

Azazel shrugged like it was no big deal, even though it very much was! "We assumed some other faction had abducted him for his potential power. But I told Raynare to stick around Kuoh Town for a few weeks just in case he ever came back..." he trailed off.

I gaped at him in disbelief, and I was pretty sure if Rias had been here, she’d be doing the exact same thing. "There’s no fucking way," I muttered under my breath. Issei Hyoudou, of all people, got freaking isekai’d? 

What even is this timeline sometimes?

I rubbed my temples, trying to wrap my head around it. Somehow, I had the sinking feeling this wouldn’t be the last we’d hear about the perverted idiot. My restaurant had a nasty habit of popping up in worlds where crazy shit happened, and this screamed unfinished business. At the very least, I hoped we wouldn’t have to deal with it for a while. Poor Issei’s family, though. Maybe I’d send them an anonymous letter or something, though I doubted they’d believe me.

Gabriel started muttering the name "Raynare" under her breath. "I try my best to remember all of my brothers and sisters," she said quietly.

"That’s pretty impressive considering there are literally millions of them," I pointed out.

"Wait, what?" Sansa asked, looking shocked.

Gabriel continued without pausing, her voice growing firmer as she spoke. "I remember Raynare now! She fell because she was envious of other angels who were stronger than her. She always wanted more wings but was too lazy to put in the work to earn them. I bet it was her who took Asia!"

Azazel frowned slightly. "That’s… not entirely impossible," he admitted after a moment. "She hasn’t checked in with me in the past week. If she found out about Asia being expelled from the Church, she might’ve decided to do something crazy, like steal her Sacred Gear. She was lent an extractor to handle Issei’s Red Dragon Emperor gear in case he turned out to be a bomb."

Gabriel’s white wings bristled behind her. "you should have mentioned that sooner, little brother!"

Aela stood up abruptly, her mug forgotten on the counter. "Let us go and rescue the young maiden before something happens to her," she said.

Gabriel immediately nodded, reaching out to grab Aela’s arm. In a flash of golden light, the two of them disappeared, presumably heading straight to Kuoh Town.

I sighed, pulling my phone out of my pocket. If anyone needed a heads-up about this, it was Rias. I quickly typed out a message.

Haru: FYI, an angry archangel is heading to Kuoh Town to rescue Asia Argento from fallen angel kidnappers.

A few moments later, my phone buzzed with her reply.

Rias: Nani the fuck!?

And then it buzzed again.

Rias: Ok… I’ll just stay inside and watch anime for the rest of the day so I don’t have to deal with that…

I chuckled at Rias’s last message. That was just like her. My phone buzzed again, and I glanced down to read her final message. My breath hitched the moment I saw it.

Rias: I know you’ll be lonely without me to keep you company, so here’s a little something special.

Attached was a picture of Rias lying naked on her bed, staring up at the camera. Her pale legs were spread apart, and one of her hands was settled between them. Her pouty mouth was open and it looked like she was moaning right at the camera…

"Hehe, your face just turned bright red there, Haru. What are you looking at?" Azazel teased, leaning slightly to try and get a glimpse of my phone.

I immediately closed the gallery app and slipped my phone back into my magic storage space where no one could access it. "None of your business. Also, what are you still doing here?" I asked, genuinely curious.

Azazel smirked. "Aww, you want me gone so soon? Didn’t you say this restaurant caters to everyone in the multiverse?" He chuckled. "Don’t I count as part of the multiverse?"

I sighed and asked him what he’d like to eat.

Turning to Sansa, I also asked if she wanted anything else. She shook her head, patting her stomach. "I’m still way too full from all the cake earlier. I’m probably just going to walk back ‘home’ to Yasaka’s palace."

Nodding, I allowed one of my tails to detach from my body, forming a clone that would walk her back safely. It was only proper after all. Sansa gave me a small smile, thanked me, and headed out with my clone following closely behind.

Now with only eight tails temporarily, I turned back to Azazel, who seemed to have finished checking out the menu. He looked up at me curiously as he pointed to one of the items listed on it. "What’s a Baku burger?" he asked.

...

– Harry –

Harry glanced at Hermione with a mischievous grin as they stood just outside the Fox Hole. "Harry, are you sure this is a good idea?" Hermione asked, looking at him skeptically.

"C’mon, Mione, it’ll be funny. We never get to pull one over on Haru because he’s just too good. But this time will be different," Harry assured her.

Things had been going surprisingly well for Harry these past few weeks. For some reason he couldn’t quite figure out, Dumbledore had abruptly resigned as Hogwarts headmaster, leaving McGonagall in charge. As headmistress, she was stricter but far more organized. Under her leadership, Hogwarts was finally starting to resemble an actual school again, rather than the joke of a learning institution it had been before.

Not that Harry planned to stick around his own world once he was done with the tournament. Too little, too late as they say.

He’d been thinking about it a lot, and he was pretty sure he’d either move to Haru’s world full-time or to Skyrim. Skyrim seemed like the better option, though. There, he could freely use magic without restriction and continue his training under Mistress Serana.

But he was getting off-topic.

The point was, Harry had done some research and finally figured out how he could pull one over on Haru. Pranking was practically in Harry’s blood, but Haru’s supernatural senses were so overpowered that Harry had never stood a chance before!

At least, not until now. 

His research had revealed something incredible about the invisibility cloak he’d been carrying around for years. It wasn’t just any cloak—it was one of the Deathly Hallows, allegedly created by Lady Death herself. If the stories were true, not even Haru or anyone else in the Fox Hole would be able to sense him and Hermione sneaking into the restaurant while hidden beneath it.

"Alright," Harry said, gripping the edge of the cloak. "Let’s do this!"

…

“Harry? Something is weird,” Hermione pointed out.

Despite the limited visibility underneath the invisibility cloak, Harry immediately realized something was wrong as well. They had walked through the front doors under the cloak, expecting to enter the Fox Hole—but this wasn’t the inside of the restaurant.

"What the hell?" Harry shouted, his voice echoing in the unfamiliar room.

They found themselves in a completely different place, surrounded by vibrant and colorful people they’d never seen before.

"Who said that!?" a loud voice rang out. "Is that you, Gray? You trying to be some kind of sneaky, invisible streaker this time? Well, I ain’t falling for it! Fire Dragon’s Iron Fist!"

Harry and Hermione’s eyes widened as a man with pink hair and a white scarf suddenly lit his fist on fire and leapt over twenty feet through the air, heading straight for them.

"Move!" Harry shouted, and both he and Hermione dove in opposite directions. They tumbled out from under the cloak, breaking their invisibility just in time. The pink-haired man’s fiery punch smashed into the floor where they had been standing, leaving a charred crater.

"Huh… you’re not Gray," the man muttered, pouting as he stared at the two of them.

Hermione scrambled to her feet, glaring at him. "What the bloody hell was that for!? You could have killed us!"

The man, now struggling to pull his fist out of the damaged floor, looked up at her with a mix of annoyance and confusion. "What are you talking about? You two tried to sneak into our guild while invisible!"

Hermione huffed, brushing herself off. "We weren’t trying to sneak in here… we were trying to sneak into… somewhere else," she admitted, her voice quieter toward the end.

"Huh? You tried to sneak into another building but got lost? What are you two, stupid or something?" he teased, finally yanking his hand free from the floor, though he ended up damaging it even more in the process.

Harry reached down and picked up his invisibility cloak, he was very confused. The shimmering fabric slipped through his fingers as he tried to process what had just happened...?

Nearby, Hermione and the pink-haired fire wizard were still arguing.

"I am not stupid!" Hermione snapped, glaring at the man. "I happen to be the smartest witch in my entire school!"

"Yeah, right," the wizard shot back, crossing his arms with a smug grin. "Only dumb people walk into a guild hall thinking it’s a restaurant!"

Despite being a few years older, the fire wizard was acting incredibly childish, clearly enjoying riling her up. Hermione looked like she was about ready to hex him, but Harry barely registered the argument.

His focus was elsewhere.

He tightened his grip on the cloak as he tried to make sense of how they had ended up here. They had been walking into the Fox Hole—it should have been impossible to land anywhere else!

And then it hit him.

"Oh shite. I buggered up," Harry muttered under his breath, groaning as the realization settled in.

The cloak was created by Lady Death herself, meant to hide the wearer from even her sight. If it could obscure him from the HER, then it must have also hidden him from the Goddess who managed the Fox Hole’s multiversal connections. That would explain why, when he and Hermione passed through the doorway from Hogsmeade, they hadn’t ended up in Haru’s restaurant!

They were somewhere completely different...

Maybe even another world!?

XXX 

Harry and Hermione ended up bungling their way into Fiore...

Where should Issei end up...?