The Grinch Who Stole Grotmas: A Poem (Patreon)

While we were working on the Dataslate update, we had a disagreement (Wings and I) over the winners/losers in this dataslate. He didn't have a solid number 5 winner, and had put Chaos Space Marines in the Neutral category. So I wrote this quick poem in Discord to bully/shame him into putting them as winners. Enjoy.

Every Goon down in Goonville loved Grotmas a lot!
...but Wings, on Grinch Mountain, clearly did NOT!
He hated the Detachment, The whole CSM faction!
Now, please don't ask why, His causefor detraction.

It could be his head wasn't screwed on right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think the reason he was in such a mood
May have been that his own faction was screwed.

Whatever the reason, his army or shoes,
he stood there on Grotmas, hating the Goons.
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At his only real option, the detachment of Clowns.

For he knew every content creator on the NDA list,
Was busy now, painting and planning a list.
"And they're painting their Forgefiends!" He snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Grotmas, it's practically here!"

Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nevrously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to stop Grotmas from coming!"
For tomorrow, he knew, all the CSM boys,
Would wake bright and early, and rush for their toys!

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise Marines! Noise Marines!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE MARINES!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then the Goons, young and old, would sit down to play.
And they'd roll dice, and measure, and have fun the whole day.
They'd laugh and have fun and make fun of Wings,
who all the more thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"

"Why, for nearly a day I've put up with it now."
"I MUST stop this Grotmas from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
WHY WINGS GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" Old Wings laughed in his throat.
And he wrote down a list of winners and goats.
"Here's the top five, who deserve to feel good."
"And why, CSM's not on here - take a look if you would.