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  • Chapter 73 (2,794 words).pdf
  • Chapter 74 (2,932 words).pdf
  • Chapter 75 (2,929 words).pdf
  • Chapter 76 (2,105 words).pdf

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Hey Everyone,

I hope that everyone that celebrates thanksgiving had a good time. We're finally in December and we're coming close to the end of Book 6. I don't know how the story will unfold over the next chapters, but I anticipate that we'll be wrapping up in maybe another 10 chapters or so. It'll really depend on how everything flows and if I'm happy with it.

Last week was an insane amount of engagement on the chapters, that I couldn't keep up with the comments, emails, notifications and Discord discussion. Thank you all so much for sharing your thoughts and feedback. I get creative wobbles from time to time, but it's great to see so many people vibing with the story and creating their own theories of where things will go.

It's 4 chapters this week because I deleted two of them and rewrote them. I wasn't happy with the direction I went in the original set, and course-corrected. It's a slower process, but I was happier with the result. As always, let me know what you think. :)

Brian

Comments

Jack Caswell

loyalists has been like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get but it's always delicious.

Kiwi

Loved these chapters, you can feel it ramping up. I’m worried about who will be a possible casualty though given we have been lucky we haven’t had an event like that yet.

Forint

Damn, there's so many things that need to be done. What did Doc Traincrafter, Ameye? Amanye? Forgot his name. What did he want in return for the materials and shit he sent?

JimS

Great chapters :-) Many thanks for the surprises. A possible omission - Sakura was in the briefing, but she was not mentioned in the second Contract Request?

P A

He has a list of requirements for Sal. Remain as Support Class, Take the Essence Programming Module, Care packages will include blueprints of machinery, equipment and weaponry, as well as a surplus of exotic materials and until all items are proved to be successfully constructed, Salvatore Argento cannot participate in a Portal Expedition

Rian

Really enjoyed the new chapters and direction. However I’m having a bit of an issue getting my head around why the advisors are completely cut out of the new mission. It feels very jarring that in previous chapters Sal made such a big deal about consulting with Upgrade and Vanessa, and them coming on the mission… but now they are just abruptly cut out for no obvious reason? He doesn’t consult them before talking to Erica (even though they insisted they would talk to her) or before accepting the new mission request. And now Sal seems perfectly fine with them not coming along even though he insisted originally that they be included. Maybe a future chapter addresses this, as it feels like Vanessa and Upgrade would be pissed for not being informed. I kept expecting them to show up when Sal met with Hannah or talk to him before the mission briefing. Or maybe it’s just my brain fixating, but it bugged me and didn’t seem aligned previous character behavior. Otherwise I loved the whole thing and am excited for the next set of chapters.

James Rosentreter

I agree but I could think of it as an extension of the mission that he's already consulted them on and Sal wanting to be more hands on in his own guild. I think he should have consulted at least Vanessa about it since she could have joined while looking like another student but I think Sal just getting grilled after the fact for not thinking to include them is pretty on brand. Plus not having the advisors will give more accolades to the guild so seeing Sal get chewed out while getting more bonuses will be fun at least.

Johnny Spriggs

How many chapters will be in the loyalists book

Perversity

Whilerereding the earlier chapters, I had a thought that might be fun for the end of the book. Sal FINALLY getting around to working on Sovereign, and then taking it for a test drive in a dungeon, or red zone, or handing it off to Vanessa as she takes Maxine to a Portal for meditation.... And then the big freaking drone clears the Portal with Vanessa's help.

Ron Blondeau

I have been rereading the draft Loyalists chapters and in chp. 59, I believe, it was mentioned that Athena indicated that Seth needed an Administrator Intervention. I can't find any mention of it in subsequent chapters.

Joi Wilson

I’m confused. I thought Hannah’s home ship was the Odyssey but in these chapters she talks about the Vivacious….?

BrianJNordon

That was pointed out and is changed in the main manuscript. Thanks for highlighting :)

BrianJNordon

Yep, that's a low priority at the moment since Seth isn't on this next mission. He's got his gear to build up stats, so he should be fine with running dungeons alongside Mica. :)

ren

up to chapter 73 now, and i mentioned in a previous comment on the post for chapter 26 i believe that there wasn't much happening and that there wasn't much of a hook in the first few chapters, but with the contract that was given to sal by paradox for the darwin cruisers, my attention is definitely held captivated. i’m excited to see how this all unfolds