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Before I die, I genuinely intend to bite a cop. It is an intrusive and recurring thought. An obsession. I have no fear or even real understanding of repercussions. I've never properly understood danger.


I have fallen from rooftops downtown, jumped into the harbour, stolen boats from yacht clubs, climbed cranes in the dead of night. I jumped out of a moving car when I was 17. But I can’t deal with the unhappiness of others. If they want money, or a favour, or sex, I have trouble saying no. Because I know with absolute certainty - If the people around me are happy, I am safe.  As long as I am useful, I am safe.


After I went mute, I kept hoping it would last forever. Think how much safer I would be. 


Think how much quieter I would be, sneaking up on that cop.


But it didn't last forever. My words came back. All of them except the word, "no."


And "unctuous."


Joey

Comments

Heather Pereira

Well I have a new intrusive thought now too. Thank you for this relatable content™️

Ilan Muskat

I feel like if you join that convoy thing you could bite a cop and they'd actually smile and pose for a selfie? I haven't worked out the math but I'm pretty sure I'm right

Sierra Harvey

"Unctuous" has an unpleasant mouthfeel in my head. Also I am pretty sure I am pronouncing it wrong. Thankfully no one else can hear it.

Matt Mills

Life hack: find a cop that wants you to bite them

Kimedgar

"As long as i am useful i am safe" wow ok. 😩🥲 took the words right outta my mouth!

Barry Matthews

Please let me hold the cop down for you.

Sarah Jefferson

I really shouldn’t be reading these entries from newest to oldest. 😮