The ramblings of a madman (Patreon)

Hi Patreon! This is going to be a lot, but I just wanted to talk about what is coming up for December and how I have been feeling lately.

Let me start off by saying that I (for the first time in 10 years of Patreon) have run out of content. It honestly feels pretty embarrassing to be a content creator, who doesn’t have any content, but past few months have been pretty difficult. I lost my part-time job, I have been in nothing but massive fights with my parents, my roommate of eight years, moved out with one months notice, my cat (Harvey) passed away, I still haven’t been able to get hernia surgery, I’m on a four-year waiting list to get an MRI for my shoulder, I can’t work out the way I want, and I’ve been spending way too much money as a way of trying to look past all of this. To be fair, there is a lot more shit going on, but I do want to try to keep this slightly positive and maintain a small amount of privacy.

Anyway…

The point of giving you all the “woah is me” shit, is to help you understand why I’m feeling so emotionally drained, and mentally burnt out. The reason I want you to understand that I’m drained and mentally burnt out is because I’m going to spend the next month or two posting old content.

I really can’t get in the mindset to create anything new and even when I do start to create, I get negative thoughts in my head telling me over and over that I’m just a product and I need to fulfil the supply and demand. It sucks because even though that’s what my brain tells me, I know that that’s not the truth. That has never been what Patreon has been about and I refuse to let it become that.

Over the next two months, I want to take a bit of a break from the content creation and focus on building community. I want to post old photos and talk about them more. I want to read all the messages, I want to respond to all the comments, I want to get to know all of you and have you all get to know me. That has always been what I’ve wanted Patreon to be and I feel like this is a great way to get back to those roots and allow myself a little bit of room to breathe.

The world is such a mess and I feel like I’m a mess and I want to try and get out of that. So thank you all for behind here and helping me! Here’s to old content and new stories!