Book 7, Chapter 68 (Patreon)

One chapter today, but it's a biggun' There've been quite a few retcons, but you don't need to know anything for this one.

Chapter 68 

Slam! The final mercenary crashed against the wall after getting brained by Dong. The gnoll mercenary exploded into a pile of coins as he crashed to the ground. The coins scattered over the concrete floor of the room, spinning and twirling.  

The older stripper looked absolutely menacing atop the blood-soaked yak, whose horns still held an impaled guard. Gonk, seeing the battle was now over, started casually gnawing on the leg of the mercenary—also a gnoll—impaled upon him.

Rend had likewise managed to get in there and kill a taurin mercenary who’d already been punched unconscious. He was leaning into the open chest and blowing bubbles with the gore, giggling each time blood splashed onto the floor.

“Jesus Christ, Rend,” I said. “Don’t be gross.”

He looked up at me and smiled big, his tooth gleaming. He made a noise that kind of sounded like “Bubbles.”  

Behind me, Jamal was hopping in circles around the two terrified crawlers as Bigs tied them up. The two women were named Selvi and Tuba, and they both sobbed. I couldn’t tell if it was from anger or relief. I’d ordered the shark and Bigs the slug to not hurt them, but the one named Tuba bled profusely from a wound on her side, given to her by Jamal who’d been forced to swipe her spear away with one of his mechanical legs. Both crawlers had a nasty, no-healing debuff that we couldn’t circumvent. It was a side effect bestowed upon those under Conscription when they refused to fight.  

 Selvi was no longer human, but an elf. She was a level-57 Valide, which appeared to be some sort of healer class. Tuba was a human and level-56 Boring Ol’ Fighter. Both were pretty young, in their early twenties, and they both struggled and fought against their bindings. We dropped a pair of Mute containments on them both, just in case they were overwhelmed by their debuff and forced to cast a spell.

Tuba would bleed out soon if I didn’t get them broken from the spell. And I couldn’t do that until we defeated the Madness. We needed to hurry this up.

Outside, “Little Red Corvette” by Prince blasted. The massive ball of crawlers and mercenaries continued to roll in our direction, but Harpocrates no longer pursued. The god instead moved toward Donut again, but he was now waylaid by one of the diggers, which I still hadn’t seen. I hadn’t heard from Louis or Samantha in a while, but his health was still full according to the warlord display.  

Dong dismounted Gonk and examined the gold coins on the ground. That happened sometimes when one was killed by Dong’s crust sock. One of the coins still spun, and he reached down and snatched it up. As I watched, he took the coin, kissed it, opened up the bloody sock, and dropped the coin within with a clink.

“I thought they were all nickels in there,” I said.

Dong was muttering to himself and didn’t answer me. I turned back to the carnage and quickly looted the bodies, including a pair of viceroys. That left a single viceroy in the castle, Admiral Houston himself.

Behind me, Selvi and Tuba groaned. I deliberately didn’t ask them any questions. If I did, and they answered, they’d receive additional penalties from their debuff. The best thing we could do for them was tie them up and hope they were strong enough to resist the almost unstoppable urges they had to fight back.

“All buttoned up,” Bigs said as she finished circling Selvi. She shook her hatchet threateningly. “Don’t you be trying to escape.”

“Dong, Rend with me. Rest of you stay here,” I said. “Keep them safe and make sure Gonk doesn’t wander off. We’ll be right back. Do not hurt them. They’re good guys who are under spells. Do you two understand?”

“Jamal will keep them safe.” He did a little hop and spurted a flame.

“Can I kill one of them?” Bigs asked. “That one is already bleeding pretty good.”

“Holy shit, Bigs. She’s a friend. One of us. A good guy. Keep them safe.”

“I’ll wait until he’s gone,” Bigs whispered loudly at the two women. “Then one of you is getting the chop.”

They huddled closer together, both crying. A bloody Rend started giggling at them, which didn’t help  

I sighed. Dong and I were the only ones with invulnerability, and we needed to move fast. “You know what, Bigs? Change of plans. Go on a reconnaissance. See if you can find and open the front door.”     

“Yeah, baby!” Bigs said as she slithered off down a main hallway, trailing orange slime. I could see it was littered with summon traps that would no longer work.

“Keep them safe,” I reiterated to Jamal. “And Rend, you stay here, too.” We turned and hurried down the hall in the opposite direction. The surgical theater and the throne room were right next to each other, just around the corner.

I could hear the screaming as I stepped into the hall, though as soon as I heard it, the sound cut off sharply. The hallways here were wide and unadorned, and the floors were a white, speckled tile. Everything was crisp, clean. Well-lit. I was reminded of a hospital.  

With each step, Dong’s armored feet echoed loudly. His sock, I realized, was significantly larger than it had been before, and it dragged on the floor behind him.

Samantha: LOUIS, WHERE ARE YOU?

Louis: I’m stuck. It says level six, hallway C. I stepped on a snare trap, and I can’t move for a few minutes. I filled the area with a poison cloud, but it doesn’t work on them. They have these little dog robot things that shoot darts... Guys, I’m in trouble. I have some No Disassembles, but the explosions are too big. I can’t do it where I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do.    

Samantha: OKAY, I HAVE AN IDEA TO SAVE YOU, BUT YOU GOTTA TRUST ME.

We turned the corner, and the screaming started up again. I paused, giving Dong a look. Again, the screaming abruptly cut off.

“That... that sounds like it’s him screaming. Architect Houston.”

Dong shrugged as we continued.

The door to the surgical theater stood at the end of the hall, right next to the throne room, which sat unguarded. The theater entrance was just a pair of swinging double doors with a sign that read “Do Not Enter” over it. There was a second, neon-like sign that read “Amplification in process.” It was lit.

There was an advanced alarm trap and a trap door trap in front of both the surgical theater and the throne room. The trap door trap was interesting, but I didn’t have time to examine it now. I quickly took all of them and stored them away.  

Bigs suddenly appeared, coming from the opposite side. She slimed up and said, “Yo, daddy-o. The front door is just sitting there all wide open. I don’t see nothing out there except a bunch of fields and shit.”

“You couldn’t see a giant, rolling ball of people coming in our direction?”

“You smoking jelly bellies, boss? Ain’t nothing like that.” She looked back, as if she could see from here. “But there could be, I guess. It’s dark as a wombat’s asshole out there.”

“Okay,” I said. I pointed to the throne room. “Go in there and wait. Don’t leave until I tell you.”

“Aight,” the slug said and started sliming into the room. The moment she entered, the notification appeared.

 System Message: The Throne Room of the Madness is being occupied by forces from The Princess Posse. If they can hold for six hours, the Madness will be defeated!

I double checked to make sure the immortality remained on my arms, and I cracked my neck.

“Stay behind me,” I said. I prepared Tripper. I was going to walk in, eyeball the location of all the supposed fire traps, make certain Burcu wasn’t in the line of fire, and then cast.

I pushed open the double doors, and I stepped into the surgical theater of Architect Houston of the Madness. Dong jumped in behind me with a wheezy war cry.

I stopped dead, preventing Dong from entering the room further the moment I eyed the circle of traps in the room. I wouldn’t be casting Tripper on these.  

“Huh,” was all Dong said as we both paused at the door, seeing what was going on within.

~

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting to see, but this was not it.

The large, octagon-shaped room itself was pretty much what we’d anticipated: a crisp, starkly white room with a group of surgical tables in the middle, surrounded by a raised viewing area so students could sit and watch the in-process surgical procedures. A massive, cumbersome mechanical apparatus hung from the center of the high ceiling. Dozens of mechanical arms came off the machine, and it whisked and whirred as it worked.  

There were four tables, and three were occupied.

The fourth table was empty, but it appeared as if twenty gallons of blood had been dumped on it from above. The blood was shockingly red in the white room. The source of the blood was gone, but a familiar-looking cleaner bot that was the same model as our own—but painted solid white—was studiously at work, slurping the blood off the floor.   

The first occupied table contained the corpse of the crawler Zeynep. They had done... something to her. Something unspeakable. Something I won’t describe. I couldn’t bear to look at her for more than a cursory moment. Still, I caught her lifeless eyes in the bright light, and despite all the other craziness in the room, those dead eyes caught my own just long enough for me to feel accused by her. Accused for what she’d been forced to endure.

The second table contained Burcu, who was alive. She struggled against what appeared to be magical bonds. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. Dried blood ran down the front of her badger face and throat. Tears streamed.  

The third table... I blinked, not comprehending what I saw. There were two forms on the table. One was the blank, dead corpse of the changeling, whose name had been Namico. It said his cause of death was Died on the Surgical Table, which was the same as Zeynep.   

The changeling had suffered a similar, but not as... thorough fate as Zeynep. It appeared as if he had been peeled open. He wasn’t truly on the table, but upside down, hovering about ten inches over the other form, clutched in the mechanical arms of the machine hanging from the ceiling. The changeling faced downward, offset and facing in the wrong direction as the table’s other occupant, with only their torsos overlapping.

Architect Houston was the form. His robes were gone. His mask was gone, revealing the horrific, multi-limbed, half bug, half monster that he was. He was on his back on the table, facing the dead changeling that dangled above him. He was awake, saying something to the machine.    

The machine was... connecting Houston to the changeling. Physically connecting him. Things were coming out of the changeling and going into Houston and vice-versa.  

The giant machine itself was something straight from a mad scientist’s fever dream of a lair. It was a chandelier covered in robotic arms and surgical tools, all spinning and waving about, silently whisking as they worked.

The thing was made of gleaming chrome, and the moment my eyes focused on it, an info box appeared.  

The Grease Monkey. Viceroy Portable Surgical and Scientific Exploration Unit. Outpost version.

Tech-based surgical repair unit automaton.

This thing isn’t really necessary here in the dungeon where we use potions and magic and basically free, universal healthcare to keep your UTIs in check, unless, you know, it’s funny not to. You’re welcome about that, by the way. But out in the wide universe, outside the center system where literally hundreds of thousands of different species struggle daily to survive? What does one do for healthcare, especially when you’re far from home, or you’re afflicted with something your local doctors simply can’t fix?

You can’t just travel to the inner system and take advantage of their free healing. Not if you’re not a citizen. And if you’re one of those species the local doctor has never even heard of, what the hell are you going to do? Die because of a hangnail?  

There’s a reason why the Viceroys provide free transportation to their systems. And if there’s a mass casualty event, or better yet, a war? Heck, they’ll come to you. And when they do, they’ll bring one of these things with them.

The Portable Surgical Automaton Unit, colloquially known as the Grease Monkey, is a marvel of technology. Even if your species is one of those “What the fuck is that thing?” this automaton will analyze your anatomy, take you apart, and put you back together again good as new. Well, mostly.

What a lot of people don’t know is that surgical repair is actually the secondary purpose of these machines. Viceroys have no passion for healing. Their passion is science. Understanding the universe. Understanding everything from the atom to the tree, no matter the cost.  

They’ll gladly operate on anybody, no questions ask. But it still ain’t free.

Nothing is free in this galaxy. That should be perfectly clear by now.  

The good news is if you can’t pay right away, that’s okay. The viceroys have multiple payment options and opportunities available for you. And if you want to sign yourself over to their post-biological form studies corp, all your bills will be wiped away.  

Incidentally, Architect Houston, who is currently being operated on by his own machine, is the prime of the Viceroys not because he was elected so, or because of some innate ability to lead his people, but because he’s made the most scientific discoveries. Most of which were made with the help of this very machine you see before you now.

“Stay back,” Houston called at me. He was clearly in pain as the machine continued to work. Hundreds of tiny little arms appeared, and they were connecting what appeared to be nerves from the changeling’s neck to Houston. “You take one step in here, and it’ll set off the traps, incinerating us all. “I’m almost done. I’m almost there. You’ll have your victory, Carl. I care no longer for what happens here. Let me finish. Let me finish, and your fellow crawler doesn’t have to die. This is my life’s work. I’m almost there.”

I spared another glance at the ring of traps circling the room. They were up, out of reach on the second floor of the surgical theater, all facing downward from the edge of the observation deck. There were eight of them, though it appeared just one was enough to absolutely kill everything in the room.  

Containment Breech Trap Mark IV.

Warning: This trap is Tripper proof.

Warning: This trap is chained in a sequence.  

Warning: Removing or triggering a single trap in the sequence will activate all remaining traps in the sequence.

Warning: This trap has a dead man’s switch. It is attached to Architect Houston of the Madness. If he is killed, this trap will automatically trigger.

I had never seen nor heard of anything like that, but the traps were each the size of a shoe box, much bigger than the regular, Lego-sized trap modules. These things were more like weapons than traps.

They would shoot literal Sheol fire into the room, instantly incinerating everything. They would be triggered by anyone who wasn’t affiliated with the Madness who stepped on the floor.

My invulnerability wasn’t as good as the one I’d had earlier. Still, I was pretty sure I’d be fine, but I wasn’t positive. Burcu didn’t have the invulnerability, and she would absolutely get turned to ash.

Donut: HARPOCRATES RIPPED THE GIANT ROBOT IN HALF AND THREW HALF OF IT AT ME! IT DIDN’T FLY FAR ENOUGH TO GET TO ME, BUT HE’S COMING IN MY DIRECTION NOW. I TURNED THE MUSIC OFF, BUT HE’S STILL COMING! I’M THINKING I SHOULDN’T HAVE SAID SO MANY MEAN THINGS TO HIM. GUYS SURE ARE SENSITIVE WHEN YOU MAKE FUN OF THEIR WIENERS. HE EVEN MARKED ME FOR DEATH!  

Carl: Get out of the tower! Someone get Donut out of there!

Donut: I STILL HAVE TIME. THE BALL IS ALMOST THERE. I CAN’T LEAVE THE TOWER UNTIL THEY GET TO THE CORPSES! IF I DON’T STAY, THEN EVERYONE IS IN TROUBLE. EVERYONE ON OUR TEAM MIGHT DIE!  

Li Jun: He’s going to get to you before the ball reaches the other field. I have an idea. Speaker number 11 is still on the back of a cart. Mute all the speakers except that one. Play the song I just sent you.

Li Na: Jun, no. No!

Li Jun: Sorry, little sister. I’ll jump before he catches me.

It took everything I had to focus on the task at hand. Li Jun was distracting the angry god so Donut could finish her plan, and it was all I could do to not scream.

More messages flooded in, including a hysterical one from Louis and Samantha both. The very world rumbled as something else happened out there.

I sent another message to Burcu, and to my surprise, this time it was delivered.

Carl: I don’t know if this is going to come through, but we’re going to get you out of here. Do you know what he’s doing?

Burcu: There you are! None of my messages were delivered. He cut out my tongue and voice box. I can’t speak. He tortured my mother. He killed her right in front of me. Free me so I can kill him. These bindings won’t let me cast magic. You owe me, Carl. You killed my father. Free me now.

I had no idea what she was talking about in regards to her father. I reexamined the trap and then examined her bindings. The trap required someone to step on the floor to be set off. The bindings on the table appeared to be controlled via a switch on the wall. On the surgical table, Houston cast a spell, surprising me. But the spell was directed at the corpse hovering over him. The dead changeling started to thrash, but the mechanical arms held it in place.

I turned to Dong. “Keep an eye on Houston. Kill him if he starts to cast anything else.”

“Kill him how? I don’t have ranged weapons.”

“By stepping into the room.”

Dong looked nervously at the yellow glow on his arms. “Uh, are you sure? What are you doing?”

I took a step back, ran, and activated Walk on Air as I rushed across the room. The skill was not a flying skill, and it didn’t work all that great. It was more of a glorified long jump. I aimed for the closest table, which was the empty one covered in blood. I landed heavily, slipped in the blood, and flew onto my back, hitting the table hard. Blood splattered everywhere.

The white cleaner bot let out a familiar, shrill cry and zoomed up at me and beeped.

“Sorry,” I said to the thing. It beeped again and moved closer to me, as if it was going to attack. I reached up and grabbed it with two hands. I felt a familiar haptic buzz, indicating I could stick it in my inventory, which surprised me. I didn’t question it, and I took it.

Across the way, Houston was crying in pain as the machine appeared to start removing some of his lower guts, letting them slop onto the floor. Above him, the changeling started to vibrate. I stood, judging the distance to the next table which held the corpse of Zeynep. From that table, I could reach the switch, which would turn off her bindings. The Walk on Air had a one minute cooldown, but I could make the next jump without it. I still didn’t know how the hell we were going to get her out of here once I got to her. I hoped the skill was strong enough to let me carry her.   

“Don’t leave the table when the bindings are gone!” I called at Burcu. “Trust me. We’ll get him, but let me get you out of the room first.” I jumped, and I landed on the second table, landing amongst the gore of Zeynep. The body fell apart when I landed, much of it sloughing to the floor. It did not set off the trap. I’d damaged the corpse enough it disappeared from my map. I held down my gorge. The switch was right there on the wall. I turned, and Burcu continued to thrash, an enraged look about her as she struggled.

She’s going to jump off that table the moment I hit it.    

“Carl. Do not... Do not press that button. I can stop it all,” Houston called. “You don’t understand. It is called the beautiful place. I can get there. They are the key. The changelings. This world. Why do you think we come here, cycle after cycle? You’ve helped make the greatest discovery in history, and you don’t even realize it. It was here all long, right under our mandibles.”

I quickly sifted through my inventory and found what I was looking for.

“Sorry,” I said to Burcu as I pulled out the wand of Nighty-Night. Her eyes went wide, and she started to thrash as I pointed it at her and cast. She immediately conked out, and a 5-minute timer appeared above her head. I reached over and hit the switch, and the magical bindings around her disappeared. I prepared to jump onto her table. This was going to be tricky because I needed to land around her, not on her. If I slipped...  

“Uh, Carl,” Dong called from the doorway.

Donut: GO FASTER LI JUN! HE IS CATCHING UP!

Rosetta: Eris is awake, but she’s still in the middle of the ball! She’s trying to escape, but she still can’t move. She just removed everyone’s invulnerability, but they’re still invulnerable anyway. The Rolling Battle Formation spell keeps them immobile and invulnerable. But they’ll be exposed the moment the ball breaks!    

While the 50,000 people in the giant ball were still invulnerable because of the ball spell itself, I was no longer safe. I looked down at my arm, and the yellow glow was gone.

“Oh, fuck.”

At that moment, I heard Mordecai’s voice. You can’t save them all, kid. I didn’t even know this Burcu person, and by all accounts, she was kind of an ass. And now I was in serious trouble because I hadn’t simply let her die. I could have ended this just by stepping into the room, and now it was too late.  

Li Jun: Sister. Tell Zhang I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye to his face. Tell him I won our bet. And you. Protect him. I want you to be kind to the others. This was my decision. I had to do it. I know you get angry. If you must, be angry with me. I love you with all I have. I love you with the moon and the sun and all the stars in the sky. I will see you soon, and I will tell mama you said hello.   

Across from me, a health bar had appeared over the viceroy and started to rapidly lower. Above him, the changeling continued to thrash. They now looked like they were two pieces of hot cheese that had just been pulled apart.

The changeling started to change, despite being dead. Tentacles, or roots, actually, grew from its lower half.

“Yes!” Houston called as he died. He was sobbing. “I found you. I found you. After all this time. You were right here all long. It’s really you, isn’t it? Not just an avatar. It’s you. It’s you.”

I took a Fine Healing potion, and threw it at the warlord. It crashed against the man’s alien head.  

“Gah!” he cried as his health rocketed back up. “No! No! What did you do?” Above him, the creature that used to be the changeling started to scream. Vines appeared out of nowhere and wrapped their way up the machine. A high-pitched, shrill, bone-shaking scream came from the creature, who remained in the clutches of the machine.  

I ignored this as I jumped across the way, landing on the table with the unconscious Burcu. I wobbled as the table started to roll. I wasn’t expecting that. I reached down to pick Burcu up and pull her over my shoulder.

And that’s when the table tipped over.

I saw the disaster unfolding in slow motion.

You can do that, sometimes. In the midst of chaos. You can see it. You can focus on the event horizon and see it so, so clearly you wonder how you never saw it before.

Burcu had awakened the moment I touched her, and I met her eyes as she fell toward the white, clean floor. And like her dead mother, I saw accusation there. At the same moment, I sailed over her and hit the floor with my bare feet.

“You don’t know what you’ve done,” was all Houston said in the moments before the traps fired.

For my part, I activated Gloom Wraith Phase the very moment my feet touched the ground.

I shot forward in the direction I was facing, which was toward Architect Houston, still alive, still on the table, still under the creature surgically attached to him.

I pushed through them, everything moving in slow motion as the fire descended upon the room from all directions at once. I passed through the naked Houston, unraveling him. I felt the tendrils whip around me, despite my noncorporeal form. My shoulder felt as if I hit a solid wall, and I was suddenly spinning.

It was there, spinning with me, facing me. The creature, looking into my eyes. It said nothing. It pulsated with black energy, regarding me. It just looked at me, and then it leaned in, as if to kiss me. And in that moment, as we still spun, it changed, turning momentarily into a face I recognized.

Li Jun.

I couldn’t understand what was happening. Just that it was important. We were moving and frozen at the same time. Spinning yet stopped. It was like that moment with Paulie. Frozen in time. Moving at incredible speed, all at once.  

“Thank you for giving me more time with my sister and my best friend,” Li Jun said as roots wrapped around him and suddenly whisked him away.

I moved through the double doors of the room, past Dong, just barely missing him by inches, as I hit the floor and slid.

~

I blinked, and I realized I’d been knocked unconscious for just a moment. Dong was over me, casting a Healing spell. I felt my shoulder crack painfully into place. I wasn’t burned, but I felt the heat from the room next door. The castle was on fire. Bigs had abandoned the throne room and was shouting.

I’d cast Gloom Wraith Phase to escape the room, but I’d hit something magical on the way out, which had injured me. I’d seen something, but I wasn’t sure if it was real. It felt like a dream. Either way, Architect Houston was dead. Burcu was dead. I’d barely escaped.

There were multiple messages on my screen, but a single of message stood out, like a punch in the gut.

Li Jun: Thank you for giving me more time with my sister and my best friend.

This message is from a deceased crawler.

I took a deep breath. Donut and Li Na were both screaming in chat, but I pushed it away for now. I couldn’t look. I just couldn’t. I needed to breathe.

The system wouldn’t let me.

System Message: Architect Houston of the Madness has fallen. Credit for the kill has been given to Warlord Carl of the Princess Posse.

System Message: The Madness has been defeated.

System Message: All assets of the Madness have been awarded to the Princess Posse.

System Message: Battlefield conditions have been met. Larracos is no longer safe.

Warning. Warning. Warning.

System Message: The Peeling Phase is upon us. This city is open. First to take the castle, wins.     

This was followed by a barrage of messages.

Baroness Victory: I’m sorry. We tried to delay as long as possible. Our attempts have backfired. We were out maneuvered.

Warlord Message: A full quorum adjudication has determined no cheating has occurred by any warlords. Any players under an administrative hold have now been released.

Warlord Message: After a careful deliberation, it has been determined that the Non-Team Entity known as the War Mage Rebellion will not be allowed access to Larracos until the Peeling phase.

Warlord Message: Since we are now in the Peeling Phase, this ruling is rendered moot. However, the system has determined that the Quorum’s ruling has given the War Mage Rebellion standing.   

Warlord Message: Warlord Agatha the War Mage Rebellion has proposed three emergency action items.

Action item one. “The War Mage Rebellion be given full resources and access to the warlord system. In addition, we are now allowed to claim thrones for our own.”

This request has been granted. And frankly, you already had this, so this was pretty much a waste of an action item.  

Action item two. “The War Mage Rebellion be given full access to the Conscription spell and all its benefits.”

This request has been granted. The Conscription spell will now allow unaffiliated players to be conscripted into the War Mage Rebellion.   

Action item three. “During the Peeling Phase, revert to the rules of the original Faction Wars. Warlords and all soldiers of a defeated team should automatically die if they lose during the Peeling Phase.”   

I mean. Why not? You want drama. Now we got drama.

This request has been granted with a caveat. From this point forward, every affiliated soldier and warlord on a team who is still on the battlefield will now drop dead where they stand the moment the team is defeated.

Holy shit. My mind reeled. Agatha? What the actual fuck.  

Warlord Juice Box: We need help! They’re everywhere!

Britney: They’re breaking in. I have to run!  

System Message: The Throne Room of Team Retribution is being occupied by forces from the War Mage Rebellion.

Per the Peeling Phase ruleset, they now have control of the city defense system. There is a half-hour grace period before the towers are active.   

If they can hold the throne room for six hours, the War Mage Rebellion will be declared winner of this season of Faction Wars.  

~~~~

Hey folks. I have more. A lot more. But I am STILL massively editing previous chapters. Again, sorry for the slowness. It’s been a wild few weeks. I had my dad’s funeral–finally-at Arlington national cemetery and went straight to DragonCon from there, which was amazing. I had the hardcover book release and we hit the USA Today Bestseller’s list. I had a reading in Seattle, and I had a thing in LA that I can’t talk about.

But all I can think about is the next few events and my quest to make them as right as possible. Thank you all for coming with me on this journey. Pour one out for those we lost, but save some because I fear we’re not done yet.