Book 7, chapters 69 and 70 (Patreon)

Coming hard and fast now. Lots of a little retcons you probably don't need to know about. Minor one... Team retribution still has changelings in the Dream throne room. Like always at the end, this is an asshole tier cliffhanger.



Chapter 69

Remaining Teams:

The Princess Posse

Team Retribution (castle occupied by War Mage Rebellion forces)

The Dream (castle occupied by Team Retribution forces)

The Reavers

The War Mage Rebellion.

Time until the War Mage Rebellion wins the castle: 5 hours, 57 minutes.

Time until the Larracos city defenses activate: 27 minutes.

“Oh, that’s nice,” I grumbled, seeing the report that the lava abatement had been interrupted by the Bear Witness spell. I’m not certain what the original plan had been to stop the literal river of lava pouring into Larracos, but whatever it was, it hadn’t worked. A slow-moving glob of molten rock was just about to enter Shanty Town, headed straight for the giant hole in the ground. I could just hear Elle right now, bitching about how it had been a bone-headed plan.

None of that was going to matter if we didn’t get the war mages out of that castle.

I stumbled out the front of the former Madness stronghold just as the massive ball of flesh rolled into view, barreling toward us in the distance. The goddamned thing was huge, bigger than I was expecting. It was still dark and cloudy, and I could barely see anything, but a giant, quivering ball of rolling flesh with a god-sized dick hanging out of it was pretty hard to miss. The rainbow, I noted, was now gone. The ball would reach the field of corpses in about a minute.

Despite my proximity to two gods, my Scavenger’s Daughter patch did not activate. I assumed that would change the moment the two gods were freed.

There was a health bar over the battle formation, but it was still in the green. We’d have to kill the thing before everyone was freed.

Between us and the ball was where they’d dropped the corpses. There were thousands of them out there. The original plan had been for Bodi to retreat and have the pursuing forces walk right into the field of corpses just as Donut cast You’re Not Done Yet. The map was nothing but a field of Xs.

Rosetta just sent out a message telling everyone to defend Larracos, but I didn’t know how many people we actually had available to face the war mages as most everyone was in the ball. I’d sent out a dozen questions trying to figure out what was happening, and nobody was answering me.

It appeared Li Na had simply left her synergy tower, and nobody knew where she was. Donut and Ferdinand were going back and forth because Ferdinand wasn’t able to get back into the Desperado Club and was now being chased through the city. Juice Box was missing as well. Britney, who’d been deep in Larracos at the time of the attack was also running for her life.

It still wasn’t clear what, exactly, was chasing them. I’d thought there had only been a handful of these war mage guys. I prayed they all escaped.

The new ruleset basically said it was every team for themselves. If we won, all the NPCs would die and vice versa. That was going to be a huge problem. But for right now, we needed to focus on getting those assholes out of the castle. And not to let Juice Box and Ferdinand die in the meantime.

According to the Peeling phase rules, if Juice Box and Ferdinand both fell, we wouldn’t automatically lose. The war mages would still have to hold the castle for six hours. But all the existing NPCs on Team Retribution would now just drop dead. And if that happened, there was no way we’d get to that castle.  

Li Jun’s sacrifice had bought Donut enough time to cast her spell once the ball reached the corpses, but she was going to have to flee after that. But would that even matter? She was marked for death by the mute god.

Carl: If Harpocrates continues to chase you after that ball breaks apart, get into a safe room until he goes away.

In theory, Harpocrates would stop chasing Donut the moment Meatus escaped that goddamned ball. But only in theory. I didn’t want to think about what would happen if he didn’t turn away. Li Jun had bought Donut enough time. Hopefully it would be enough.   

Donut: I CAN’T LEAVE THE TOWER. I NEED TO COVER THOSE ENTERING THE CITY.

Carl: Goddamnit, Donut. You can’t help anybody if you’re dead.

Donut: I DON’T HAVE TIME RIGHT NOW, CARL. I’M TRYING TO SHOOT A WAR MAGE GHOUL THING. IT’S CALLED A ZAROGOTH. THEY’RE EVERYWHERE ALL OF A SUDDEN.

Carl: A what?

Donut: THAT’S WHAT IT SAYS THEY ARE. ZAROGOTHS. THEY’RE LIKE FAT, MOVING SHADOWS LEAKING OIL ALL OVER THE PLACE. THEY’RE EVERYWHERE, AND IT SAYS THEY’RE ALL ON THE WAR MAGE TEAM. I WANT TO TRY MINION ARMY ON THEM AFTER I DEAL WITH THE BALL.

Minion Army would freeze Donut in place for five minutes.  

Carl: Absolutely not.

Mordecai: Oh, fuck me. Zarogoths are generated mobs. The war mages built a generator.  

Rosetta: Donut, look for the antenna. It’ll be inside of Larracos somewhere. It’s what they’re using to build them. Shoot the antenna, and the monsters will collapse. I don’t know what it will look like, but this is a similar spell to the Remex quest you stopped on the third floor mixed with a ghoul generator from the train levels. Find the antenna, kill it, and the mobs will all die at once.

Donut: I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR.

Rosetta: We had these things during my crawl. It’ll be something very, very hot. Probably the hottest thing in the city. It’s made from a soul crystal with an attached capacitor unit that’s capturing souls and corrupting them. It’s re-routing demon eviction, too. Look where the monsters are the thickest. If you shoot it, it’ll explode, so be careful.   

Donut: THE HOTTEST THING IS THE GIANT STREAM OF LAVA ABOUT TO ENTER THE CITY. SOMEONE SHOULD PROBABLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.  

Rosetta: Keep looking. It’ll be hotter than that.  

Tipid: Maybe Donut should start blowing up the city defense towers?

Donut: I ONLY HAVE TWO PAWS, TIPID.

Louis: Don’t you have four?

Donut: LOUIS FOCUS ON YOUR OWN SAFETY RIGHT NOW.

Britney: Hitting the towers won’t work. They are covered in protections. If she tries, I think they’ll activate on their own early.

Baroness Victory: Britney is correct. Don’t target the towers before they’re active unless you want them all to turn on.

I started running full speed toward the rolling ball. Behind me, Dong, again mounted on Gonk, shouted and started to follow, leaving the others—Jamal, the two survivors from Burcu’s team, along with Bigs and Rend—behind. We were miles and miles from Larracos right now, but there was a safe room entrance just down the hill. I sent a message to Jamal telling him to lead the others there and wait for me.

I needed to stay here for right now. Because Eris had turned off the Witness spell, they were all going to be awake once the ball broke. I was pretty sure we outnumbered them, especially now that I’d taken the Madness troops, but it was going to be chaos. Chaos with two gods mixed in.

We were going to have to scatter, but if I could rally enough crawlers, we could come back here and shortcut through the saferoom to Larracos and assist there in the fight against the war mages.

Shit, shit, shit. I glanced at the clock. A little over 25 minutes until the city defense system fell into war mage hands. I was starting to realize there was no way I’d get there in time. And once it turned on, we’d have five and a half hours to get them out of that castle. We were in fucking trouble.

While I was starting to understand what was happening with the war mages, I still didn’t know why.

Carl: Victory, what can you tell me? Why aren’t these assholes working with the NPCs? Don’t they want the same thing? And where the hell did Agatha come from?

Instead of answering directly, the baroness suddenly cracked into existence next to me. I quickly passed her, and she grunted and started running alongside, despite my incredible speed.

“Their motivations are unclear, even to me,” Victory said once she caught up. “I do not know if they anticipated that Agatha would be named as a co-warlord. The system is going all in with them. They were just assigned an adjutant as well. Deng Bao, the grixist who was the orc adjutant. He’s the only one who would do it. He is in Larracos with the war mages right now trying to unravel what is going on. That castle is still submerged, by the way. The war mages apparently can breathe underwater. Deng Bao cannot.”

“Wait, Agatha is co-warlord?” I asked.

“Yes. If you look in your interface, you can see them listed now. Agatha is co-warlord, similar to what happened with Juice Box and Ferdinand. Ferdinand was added because the system didn’t allow Juice Box access to the warlord menu. It’s the same with Akuma, the other leader. I do not know if she consulted with them or not about those emergency action items, but they were speaking even before Drick called foul. I do not know their plans, but it appears the residual and the war mage have a common goal and are working together for now. All we know is that they are fighting against the other NPCs and are trying to kill all of you as quickly as possible. They are surrounding the castle with their generated soldiers and are planning on holding out the six hours. Once those defensive towers turn on, you aren’t going to get in there without a terrible cost.”

“Yes, but why was Agatha chosen in the first place? I was ordered by Zev earlier not to even talk to her. That came directly from the Syndicate prime minister guy himself and now she’s a goddamned warlord. Did the AI set that up? Why?”

Donut: OKAY, IT’S CLOSE ENOUGH. I’M GOING TO CAST NOW. EVERYONE LOOK OUT.

Ahead, the giant ball slowed. It was still about a quarter mile away. I skidded to a stop. Dong trotted up. He had his sock over his shoulder and had his lance out, as if he was ready to charge.  

The form of Meatus waved back and forth, making the ball look like a massive sperm. The head of the member was inside the ball and supposedly still wrapped around that other god, whom I couldn’t see at all. The ball pulsated, and now I could hear them as well, all screaming.

Holy shit, I thought the moment I heard them. Donut’s plan to get them away from the gods had kept them from all getting crushed to death, but this seemed barely better. The roar was like that of a crowd at a football game or concert. Nobody inside the ball was in the chat, so maybe they’re weren’t truly conscious. Plus I knew from experience that when these things broke apart, all the individuals were mostly fine. Still, those screams were terrible to hear.  

“I know this should probably be obvious, but what, exactly, is Donut’s plan right now?” Victory asked.

“She hasn’t told me,” I said. “I’m assuming she’s going to cast You’re Not Done Yet on the corpses. They’ll target enemy soldiers.”

“You’re not going to question her?” Victory asked.

“No. I trust her.”

A figure rushed up and leaned against my side, panting.

“Rend. You’re supposed to stay with Jamal,” I said, reaching down to pat the tunny acher on the head.

He let out a deep giggle. Gonk the yak snorted at the giant meatball.

I looked over my shoulder and saw the horrifying shape of Jamal in the distance near the small building that was a saferoom entrance. I couldn’t see the others, but he’d just sent a message that they were waiting at the door and that Rend had run off.

Another figure suddenly appeared next to Victory. This was another adjutant. One I hadn’t met yet, and it was a type of alien I’d never seen before. The thing was a round, basketball-like creature standing upon three, long, multi-jointed legs. The round ball was covered in black dots that might be eyeballs. I was pretty sure this was a type of alien called a “tripod.” I’d heard of them, but I’d never seen one before. They were supposedly completely without emotion, like extra asshole versions of Spock from Star Trek.    

Former Prime Minister Fopsy.

Adjutant for The Dream.       

This is a non-combatant observer.

The creature said nothing and scuttled off to the side. But the moment I saw him, I had a sudden revelation that should have been obvious. Epitome Tagg had fled into the forest. He was outside when the Witness spell had been cast, meaning the warlord for the Dream was in the ball somewhere, too.

“Something’s coming,” Dong said, interrupting, pointing at the sky just as chaos broke out in front of us.

Two meteors shot across the darkness toward the ball of screaming flesh. They arced across the sky like artillery fire.

Donut: Those light things aren’t coming from me. There are four of them, and they came from inside Larracos! Two moving toward Carl, one moving toward Harpocrates and another moving west. I think it’s headed toward where Louis is!

Another light—this one burning black and purple—shot across the darkness and intercepted the two meteors. It hit one, continued its momentum and hit the second, which angled off. This was followed by what looked like a magical explosion. In that moment the sky was lit, I saw that other, third light was Bianca, who appeared to have been injured in the blast. She opened her mouth in what might have been a howl if I could hear, pivoted in the night sky, and then plummeted out of sight, leaving a streak of sizzling purple smoke in the air.

As Bianca crashed, the remaining meteor that had been knocked off course did a loop-de-loop and then slammed directly into the ball.

Was it a missile? I couldn’t tell what that was. Nothing seemed to happen. Maybe Bianca had disarmed it?   

At the same moment, Donut cast the spell. She did, indeed, cast a tower-enhanced version of You’re Not Done Yet. And the moment she did, the entire world in front of us burst into activity. The Xs on the map all started to blink.

System Message: Warlord Princess Donut has committed another Atrocity. Wow. What a naughty kitty. I sure hope she isn’t forced to cast a third.

Victory muttered something about the system-wide message subsystem degrading. I barely heard her as I watched the field in front of us, equally horrified and fascinated. The darkness started to rustle and swell. Before, I couldn’t see the corpses at all except on the map. But now I had a sense of them, like an unsteady sea under a new moon. A sea that abruptly and rapidly started to boil as the flesh was torn from the bodies of all the corpses, all at once.  

Riiiiip. The sound came, louder even than the screams. It was the sound of tearing fabric. I was relieved I couldn’t see it.

This was followed by a cacophony of zipping noises, like thousands of cable ties being pulled together, one after another. These were not in unison. This was the sound of the flaps of sentient skin as they started to fly through the air and onto the ball of flesh, each seeking a target.

The fleshers flapped onto the ball and started crawling around the outside, skittering like manta rays across the ocean floor. I watched, horrified as most of the dark shapes disappeared, slipping their way inside the ball, pushing themselves into the crevasses and cracks. They would be seeking those marked as enemies, which would be the Dream soldiers and those from the Reavers.

But, they were also still invulnerable while part of the ball. What would happen, then? How long would the fleshers last? The ball continued to pulsate and throb. The health bar didn’t appear to move.      

Donut: OKAY NOW I’M GOING TO START HITTING THE BALL WITH MISSILES  TO BREAK IT APART. WATCH OUT BECAUSE EVERYONE IS GOING TO GO EVERYWHERE. I’LL ALSO CAST BAD ATTITUDE THE MOMENT THE BALL BREAKS. THAT’LL MAKE THE BAD GUYS PANIC. EVERYONE IS GOING TO HAVE TO RUN.     

Carl: Wait, where is Harpocrates? Is he still moving toward you?

Rosetta: He’ll be on Donut in about two minutes, but I think he’ll turn back to you the moment Meatus is free from the ball. Donut, better cast now.

Fwum. The ball quivered from an impact of Donut’s Magic Missile, followed shortly by the loud crack from the spell. The health bar went down a sliver, but it was still in the green.

Donut: HMM. MAYBE I SHOULD CAST WALL OF FIRE UNDER IT, BUT I DON’T WANT TO KILL THE FLESHERS YET OR HURT OUR PEOPLE WHEN IT BREAKS.

The entire ball shuddered as the fleshers continued to move across the surface, skittering as they searched out targets. The sight of them filled me with a deep, primal revulsion.  

Something wet was on my face, and I rubbed my hand across my cheek. It came back red. Blood. It was literally misting blood in the air after the skin was ripped from all the corpses. Rend was making a slurping noise as he gleefully licked at the ground.  

Another magic missile hit the ball. At this rate, it was going to take five minutes for her to kill the thing. We didn’t have the time. I pulled a full-strength hob-lobber and extended my xistera. I was hesitant to throw a bomb at all of our allies plus two gods, but what choice did I have? We had to hurry.

Just as I prepared to toss, something happened, and I paused. The ball didn’t break apart, but something burst from it, shooting straight up into the air, like the ball was a whale and the figure had escaped via a blowhole. It was clearly a person, which was just mystifying. The form rocketed straight up, waving their arms like they were trying to fly, hovered as they hit the apex, and then plummeted, slamming into the ground in the grass between us and the ball. The person did not get up, but they were clearly still alive. A single, slender arm rose in the air, as if they were calling for help. It was a human woman. On the map, she had the purple outline of an off-worlder, but she didn’t have a glow that indicated she was a member of any army.    

“What the hell? Who is that?” I asked, stepping forward.

“Uh,” Victory said. “That’s... that’s a good question.”

Fopsy the tripod adjutant spoke for the first time. “Interesting. There is nothing in the current ruleset that deals with this eventuality. I believe there is nothing to do except observe and report.”

The woman started pulling herself toward us. I could see she was screaming, but I couldn’t hear her. She was wearing armor that looked oddly familiar.

Holy crap, I thought upon realizing who this was.  

Carl: Donut, did you cast Laundry Day?   

Donut: NO.

A dark shape fluttered off the ball, falling and spinning like a leaf. Then a second and third. The creatures hit the ground and started scuttling toward her. Fleshers. The first one pounced and wrapped around the woman’s legs. Her scream went up in pitch, and now I could hear her as the flesher moved up her body, dissolving her own flesh.

“Should we help her?” Dong asked.

“No,” I said. “Wait until it kills her, and then I’ll take it out.”  

“Oh, fuck my balls,” Victory said after a moment. “That’s Nami.”

Nami was the “influencer” who was supposedly driving Eris the goddess of chaos, who was inside the ball. Someone had removed the goddess’s soul armor, ejecting the driver, and that had somehow caused her to be rejected by the ball. But if Donut hadn’t done it...

“There’s a war mage in there!” I shouted. That’s what that meteor thing had been. Instead of a teleport, they’d cast some long-range jump spell. There had been two meteors, but Bianca had killed one and caused its head to explode. The thing had smacked into the ball and had... what? Managed to dig its way to Eris just to free her? What was their purpose? There were two gods here, and two of the war mages had come. They’d also fired toward the other two gods. So what were they doing? Another magic missile slammed into the ball. I prepared to toss my bomb, but I paused once again.

“Wait a minute,” I muttered, thinking hard. In front of us, the flesher of Nami the influencer stood to her feet. The skin was that of a dromedarian, much too big for her frame, and it draped over her like a ghost costume. It groaned as a second and third flesher attached themselves to the form. If we waited too long, another war mage would be born. I re-routed my hoblobber and tossed it at the creature. Blam! It killed her and the fleshers all at once.   

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Victory suddenly burst out. She had her head in the air, eyes flashing. She turned and gave an incredulous look to Fopsy. “This can’t be real.”  

“Bao has not called foul. It doesn’t appear there’s a rule against it,” the tripod said. “It would require the spell to be level 19 at least. Maybe 18, but they could fight it. And it won’t work against sponsored gods. That explains why they ejected her, but not how they got the spell so powerful in the first place.”

“They’re using potions, not the spell,” Victory said. “They’ll have to be hell-kissed versions. Those will be level 18. But, it also means using the potion is likely suicide for the caster if the level disparity is too high.”   

“Interesting,” Fopsy said. All the eyes on the adjutant’s round body twinkled as he moved through his menus, glittering like a disco ball. “Ahh, I see. You are correct. They traded the Gate of the Feral Gods with a minion at the Midnight Market in exchange for five of the potions.”

Victory made a tsking sound. “Of course. The dungeon generated buckets of those potions for that whole ‘attendant’ mechanic on the 12th. Stuff like that always leaks into the market.”   

“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked, dread rising. “They traded away the Gate of the Feral Gods? To who? For what?”

Samantha: A WAR MAGE JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND TOSSED A CONSCRIPTION POTION ON YARILLO, AND IT WORKED! BUT THE MOMENT HE CAST THE SPELL, THE WAR MAGE GUY JUST BLEW UP! IT RUINED MY PLAN TO USE YARILLO TO SAVE LOUIS, AND NOW I GOTTA DO IT MYSELF! YARILLO JUST TOOK OFF RUNNING! HE IS ALWAYS DISAPPOINTING ME. NOW I GOTTA MOVE ONTO PLAN B.    

Holy fucking shit. The war mages were conscripting gods into their army. I examined, again, the enormous ball in front of us. There were two gods in there, locked away. The health on the thing was now in the red.   

Carl: Donut, stop!

Li Na: Donut, do not break the ball apart.

Donut: WHAT? WHAT? AND WHERE ARE YOU LI NA?

If they managed to control one of the two gods in there, especially Eris, they could just end us all with a swipe. I took a fine healing potion ball, and I tossed it onto the battle formation with my xistera. The potion arced through the air and disappeared as it crashed against the wall of flesh. The giant thing commenced healing. I started to slowly back away. “Dong, Rend, back to the saferoom. Now.”

Li Na: I was installing my brother’s eye into myself. I also managed to stop the mage from getting to Harpocrates. I am not strong enough yet to stop the god on my own. He paused because of the deflector towers, but he’ll soon push past them to get to Donut. I suggest you run.    

I sent a private message to Li Na, telling her to grab that potion off the corpse of the war mage, but to be careful with it. She didn’t reply.

Carl: Donut, can you still steer the ball? One of the two gods in there is going to be under control of the war mage team when you break it apart! Steer the ball back toward the city and then get out of the tower! If Harpocrates is still free, then hopefully he’ll keep the other gods in check.    

Donut: CARL OUR FRIENDS ARE IN THERE, AND NOW IT’S COVERED WITH FLESHERS WHO MIGHT TURN AGAINST US AT ANY MOMENT. I NEED TO BREAK IT OPEN NOW.  

Carl: I know, but wait and listen. I’m trying to keep our friends safe for as long as possible. If the war mages are trying to kill us, then that god is going to kill them on their behalf. New plan. Keep the ball intact for as long as possible. So set its direction and leave.

Warlord Carl: Everyone who is free of that ball. Listen to Rosetta’s orders. Get to Larracos. Get there now.     

The two adjutants were completely ignoring me and in a rapid back-and-forth conversation.

Fopsy the tripod scuttled forward. “At first I thought her motivations were curious, but I do believe I understand them now in light of the news that the AI is rapidly spreading in influence. I suspect the residual in control of the war mage team isn’t just trying to win Faction Wars and zero out the crawlers. She’s trying to stop the ascendency game as soon as possible as well.”

“But why?” Victory asked. “They’re usually trying to talk the AI into joining their religion or whatever they do. What’s her purpose?”

Fopsy made a strange, clicking noise. “It’s unclear what their normal intentions are, but this season is far from normal. Once the ascendency is considered finished, assuming there are no crawlers left, it automatically triggers the system’s shutdown and hibernation sequence. That’s a hard-coded limitation, which allows elemental reclamation before it is woken back up. Now that the AI is spreading, this is a possible alternative to the failsafe. All of this makes sense if the residual now believes the local AI is a threat to the Eulogist. What I do not understand is how she convinced the war mages to assist her.” He paused and regarded me. “I have additional theories, but I will not voice them in the presence of a combatant.”

Ahead, the ball started moving again, rolling away toward Larracos. In the distance, a form shot into the air, bobbing a few times before it decided to follow. Bianca.

And that was when I noticed dozens of fleshers on the ground, hesitantly moving in our direction, furtively scuttling across the surface. They weren’t supposed to attack me, but the pickings were suddenly thin.

“Time to go,” I said, patting Rend on the head. He had not left my side. I turned back toward the saferoom entrance, and I ran.

Chapter 70   

I burst into the saferoom. I had to wait for the others to pile in behind me. I spared a quick glance to Mordecai, who was sitting at the table with Ruby on his lap, reading a book. The cleaner bot hovered nearby and also appeared to be listening to the story. Anne of Green Gables, which gave me pause. My grandparents had that book in their home in Texas. I remembered my mom had said it was one of the few things from her own childhood that they’d kept when they’d moved.

I almost said something, but I held back, seeing how young Ruby clutched onto Mordecai, how she had her misshapen head on his shoulder. I had a sudden memory of Katia and Annie from the dream, and I realized this was the same thing. He thinks it’s over, and this is how he’s choosing to spend his last few hours. If Donut died, he’d be done. I wasn’t sure exactly what would happen to him with the quarantine, but I knew he’d be out of the dungeon, and he would never see Ruby or any of the other kids again.   

When Big Things happen on such a large scale, it’s easy to forget sometimes that these Big Things are also happening to the little things in the world.

That was from a goddamned AI description way back on the sixth floor, yet it stuck with me.

We had to keep moving. We only had minutes.

The others finally finished entering the saferoom behind me. I quickly dialed to the Larracos gate using the doggie door.

Dong Quixote was no longer with us, and that was because he was riding Gonk. He’d go straight to the pet stables, and I ordered him to Shanty Town instead which had an appropriate exit for the swamp yak.

The door in front of me beeped, indicating it was ready. “Rend, you go first. The stairs are steep. Jamal, hold up the rear but don’t jump off the tower. Your new legs are strong, but they’re not that strong.” Rend grunted. Bigs the slug now sat atop the meatball’s head. The other two survivors of Burcu’s team—now both official members of the Princess Posse whether they liked it or not—continued to sob, but they followed along. “Stay with me, guys,” I said. They didn’t respond, but they followed.  

 We went back outside, coming to that same tower in the middle of the Larracos College of Magic that we’d first used all those days earlier. The tower was a dorm for professors, and the saferoom exit took us into the cafeteria on the top floor. This was where we all were gathering. The college had a front gate, and the NPCs had managed to keep the grounds under their control as the zarogoth mobs pressed their attack. We stepped out into chaos.

Entering Larracos. City of Broken Dreams.

You are on the 50th level of the city. You are on the campus of the Larracos College of Magic.

Warning: This city is under siege.

Warning: The city defense system is powering up and will target you.

Time until the towers are operational: 13 minutes.

We hurried down the spiral stairs as I took it all in. From this height, I could see multiple fights at once on all the lower rings, despite the billowing smoke. The monsters were all tall, strangely fat, obsidian creatures. They looked like overweight ghouls from the train floor, but completely black. They were too far for the info box to pop up, but when multiple stood together, it was impossible to tell how many there were. They used their claws and what appeared to be a short range, magical ray attack. As I watched, a stairwell down and across the way detonated as someone blew the fuses, causing a whole mess of the strange mobs to plummet away. Fires burned everywhere. Smoke filled the city. The waterfall across the way had stopped. I knew the slow plod of the lava flow would soon replace it.

The tower next to this one—the same tower I’d watch them build when we’d first arrived—hummed ominously. The massive jewel atop the pillar glowed red. I spared a quick glance at the thing, which had a countdown timer over it.

City Defense Tower Number 22. Red Jeweled.

This is an automatic tower.

You may not examine this tower’s defenses.

Fires a level-five Fire Lance at a target within range.

This tower has been upgraded the maximum of five times.

Two times range enhancement.

Three times speed enhancement.

At its current speed, this tower will fire ten times per second.   

I continued to hurry down the stairs, Rend and Bigs running in front of me. The meatball barely fit on the spiral staircase. The two others followed as Jamal’s spider legs click-clacked on the stairs.

Carl: Donut, where are you?

Donut: I’M STILL IN THE NEST TOWER, CARL.

I instinctively looked up, and despite the angle, I could see the top of the Nest tower, glowing in the dark, hovering ominously over the entire funnel. We’d deliberately built the tower as close to the border with Larracos as possible, which would give Donut a clear view of most of the city if she needed it.   

The moment I looked up, I received a terrifying update.

You are in the presence of a deity. The Scavenger’s Daughter has opened her eyes.

You are now within range of the god Harpocrates.

Temporary effect from Harpocrates:

Level 15 Pied Piper skill.  

Carl: Goddamnit Donut, get the hell out of there. The god is here!

Donut: I CAN SEE THAT, CARL. HE’S STOPPED AT THE EDGE OF THE CITY AND ISN’T COMING IN. I THINK IT’S THE DEFLECTOR TOWERS! HE CAN’T SEE ME ANYWAY. I’M WEARING THE STUPID GHOULIE SUIT AND AM INVISIBLE. THE BALL SHOULD BE HERE SOON.  

Carl: You’re on top of the biggest goddamned tower on the floor shooting magic missiles. Of course he sees you.  

Rosetta: Donut, I’m with Carl. Harpocrates hasn’t cast his worst spells because he’s generally a good guy. He doesn’t want to level the town if he doesn’t have to. But he’s still a god. He’s already angry. At any second he’s going to cast a level-20 Sonic Boom. You need to get out of there.    

Donut: I SHOULD PROBABLY MENTION THERE’S ANOTHER GOD GUY COMING, TOO. I THINK THAT’S YARILLO. HE’S STILL A WAYS AWAY.

Li Na: Harpocrates hasn’t entered the Shanty Town because he has been stopped by a pair of changelings in the form of ogre basilica guards. It appears the ogres with golden skin have the ability to stop gods from passing a threshold, and it also appears gods are not willing to attack them. They are standing firm. Hopefully they, too, won’t needlessly die. Donut, finish your task as quickly as possible.    

I reached the bottom of the stairs and moved into the crowd. Most of the people here were with Team Retribution, but we did have a handful of crawlers mixed in. If there was any organization to the group, I didn’t see it. I started to push my way to the front.  

A group of Semeru dwarves, all with their ornate parade armor, stood at the front gate to the college, pushing back a rush of the shadowy mobs who were trying to fight their way inside. The gate pushed open, and several of the large, strange mobs surged toward the crowd.

 One of the dwarves screamed as an orange ray shot from the zarogoth’s mouth. The dwarf fell onto his back, and the mob started to laugh, the sound not unlike the giggles from Rend. Another Semeru hacked at the mob, slashing a deep rent in the bulbous stomach of the monster, and black liquid gushed out, causing the monster to deflate and then die. The fallen Semeru, who’d now been drenched in the black oil, continued to writhe in pain on the ground.

A magic missile arced down from Donut’s tower and landed in the midst of the ghouls, causing them all to blow back. Fire burst amongst the mobs. The dwarves shouted and pressed the attack, hacking at the fallen creatures, who disappeared in a burst of black oil when they died. The oil, when exposed to fire, seemed to burn, but quickly.

I focused on one in the moments before he was killed.  

Zarogoth. Level 50.

These leaky edgelords can also be called either Sludge Ghouls or Sausage Golems. I decided to rename them Zarogoths because the name is much more appropriate. It’s the sort of name a weird, socially stunted kid—whose real name is Stan Jr. or some bullshit—would bestow upon himself, all the while posting memes with skulls and motorcycles and guns on the internet, all with phrases like “Betray me, and I’ll become you’re (sic) worst nightmare” blah, blah, blah. The sort of kid who threatens his mom when his friends are around but still needs a babysitter. He brags about how he’s going to get rich because of crypto but can’t even pass basic algebra. He’s banned on Roblox. You get the idea.

He’s pretty easy to drop, but holy crap is he annoying.

Anyway, a zarogoth is a generated mob. They are created by capturing rising or falling souls via a soul crystal, rerouting the energy through a corruption spell, and then mixing it all together, which turns it all into an oil-like soup. They shove all the goo into what’s basically a translucent, humanoid-shaped sausage casing made of a bunch of gross shit I won’t relate here.

The resulting creatures are not considered undead. They aren’t technically ghouls. Nor are they precisely golems, either. While souls are used to make them, they do not retain any sort of personality of the fallen. Nope. These assholes just come out this way. They are disposable ground troops with a sadistic streak. They’re easy to kill once you figure out how they work, but don’t underestimate these guys. They can be made quickly, attack in swarms, and their pain ray attack is no joke. Some even have the ability to reshape themselves and can cast pain-inducing dreads. Piercing their skin causes them to start to leak, but they don’t die until they’ve lost 51% of their liquid.

Oh, and they smell really bad, too.

I could see that the trick to killing them had already spread across the NPCs. Slashing them on the lower parts of their bodies caused the black liquid to quickly drain away.  

Donut: IF YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE A MOVE, YOU BETTER HURRY. IN ABOUT TWO MINUTES, THAT RIVER OF LAVA IS GOING TO FALL OVER THE EDGE. I DIDN’T KNOW LAVA COULD MOVE SO SLOW.

Donut: WAIT. WAIT. I THINK I SEE THE ANTENNA THING! I CAN ONLY SEE THE REFLECTION OFF THE BUILDING ACROSS THE WAY, BUT I THINK IT’S INSIDE THE THEATER! THE ONE ON THE 9th LEVEL OF THE CITY. THEY PUT IT WHERE I COULDN’T SEE IT FROM UP HERE!   

Rosetta: Shoot it. Shoot it now!

Donut: I DON’T THINK I CAN. THE ANGLE IS WRONG. I CAN ONLY SEE IT BECAUSE OF THE REFLECTION, AND I CAN SEE THE SHIMMER OF A SHIELD AROUND IT. THE LAVA IS GOING TO LAND RIGHT ON TOP OF IT.

Carl: Okay, good. Now get the hell out of there now. Don’t waste time. Jump. Jump straight to the college. Do it before that god breaks in. Stay invisible. Tell me when you’re here.  

Ahead, the gate pushed open, and several new creatures lurched into the courtyard. It was a horror show of large monsters of all shapes and sizes, and for a terrifying moment, I thought we were about to get overrun. But then I saw the indicators over them. Team Retribution. And not just that, but officers. Changelings. The center beast pushed through the entrance, looking about. She caught eyes with me.  

Juice Box.   

I also spied Britney in the midst of the group. And not just her, but Ferdinand was with them as well, on top of Britney’s head. The warlord cat was all poofed out and screaming.

Juice Box was in the form of a hulking, armor-covered beetle thing called a dynastes. She was like ten feet tall and covered with scythes. I rushed toward them, looking up at the beetle. Behind them, more of the zarogoths surged. The dwarves went back to work.  

We had less than ten minutes.      

“Juice Box!” I called, rushing up. “Donut found the generator. We need to push to the railing. If we can get there, I will have line of sight. I can start tossing bombs on the theater! I have a few waffle makers in my inventory, and it should work. Where are the actual war mages? Are they in the castle?”

Juice Box had started to change form as I ran up. She turned to her regular human form and grabbed my shoulder, eyes wild. “Where’s Louis? Where’s my husband? He’s not answering me!”

I blinked at the question, surprised. In that fraction of a moment, I was hit with such a strange revelation. She actually loves him. Holy shit.

I wasn’t sure why it surprised me so much, but it did. A strange guilt washed over me. I never understood what that whole relationship was about, and despite all the evidence to the contrary, it still seemed... fake. Unnatural.

I held up a finger as Juice Box turned her attention back to the courtyard. “Clear them out!” she shouted. “I need protection spells on my left and right. Move to the barrier! We bomb the generator, and then we’re diving. We’ll be fighting in water, so prepare yourselves!”  

What was Louis’s status? He hadn’t messaged in a bit. The last we’d heard, he was hiding while being stalked by dog-like automatons in the Reaver castle. His last message had been that quip about Donut’s paws.  

Carl: Louis, are you okay?

He didn’t answer. I moved to the officer status screen, and he was still at full health, which was a relief. But then I saw something that gave me pause. He had two status notifications. I clicked over and drilled down.

Paralyzed.

Bound.

I cursed. Juice Box turned back to me, a worried expression on her face. I kept my finger up.

Carl: Samantha. I don’t know what’s going on, but Louis is in trouble and needs you.

Samantha: THERE ISN’T ANYBODY IN THE REAVER CASTLE AT ALL EXCEPT THE ROBOT DOGGIES, WHO ARE EVERYWHERE. THE HALLWAYS ARE SUPER SMALL AND COMPLICATED. I’M LOOKING FOR HIM NOW.   

“He’s alive, but he’s in trouble,” I said to Juice Box. “We have someone trying to rescue him right now.”

“It’s not Samantha is it?”

“Uh,” I said.

Juice Box: Samantha, I have a form that is a fleshmancer. Return my husband to me in one piece, and I swear I will make certain you have any body you desire.

Samantha: THROW IN A HALL PASS NIGHT WITH LOUIS, AND YOU HAVE A DEAL.   

Juice Box: I know who you are. Who you really are. I also know you’ve lost your mind and don’t understand. I will help you. Just get him back for me, and I will do anything for you.

Samantha: OKAY, IT’S A DEAL. BUT IF LOUIS’S PASSIONS GET THE BEST OF HIM, I WON’T MAKE ANY APOLOGIES.

“Wait,” I said out loud. “What the hell are you talking about?”  

“We gotta move,” Juice Box said, and she turned to the exit. “Form up! Make way for Carl!”  

Bomo: Someone trying to come into the tower.

Toyotomi: I am securing the front entrance now.

I almost missed the two messages, mixed in with everything else as I armed a waffle maker in my inventory. Bomo and Sledge had gotten separated. Sledge was mixed in with the ball, and Bomo along with Toyotomi and several mages were in the lower part of the Nest tower, guarding Donut.

Carl: Guys, is it one of those Zarogoth things? With all the protections, they shouldn’t be able to get inside. If they do, cut them low on their bodies.  

Donut: SOMETHING’S WRONG. IT SAYS I CAN’T LEAVE THE TOWER. I THINK THERE’S A NET AROUND IT ALL OF A SUDDEN. I TRIED TO JUMP, AND IT WON’T LET ME.   

Toyotomi: No. It is a crawler. A woman with a dog. She’s coming in.

This message is from a deceased mercenary.

Bomo: Will stop her now.

This message is from a deceased mercenary.

~~~~~

Sorry, Bomo.

In case you haven't heard:

 

The book one hardcover is doing quite well. We're already in a third printing just two weeks out. Book two hardcover is coming September 24th. Paperbacks of books 4, 5, and 6 will soon be going away, so if you want copies, get them soon. Book 7 will still come out in paperback, and they haven't purchased that yet. My plan is to make certain all versions (og paperbacks, hardcovers from Penguin, and the Kickstarter special editions) will ALL have a complete set in the end, even if earlier versions may no longer be available.

I will have multiple signings coming up, and I will share them with you all. I can't thank you all for your support. And I want to reiterate with all that i happening, this right here, the current work in progress is and will continue to be my number one priority.