WRESTLING! - Royal Rumble 2019 (Patreon)

Now that you've seen my (far superior) stupid character rumble, i can at last regale you with my oh so captivating rants and ravings about this year's actual Royal Rumble. I would write a longer post for this, but all i have to say is contained within the run time of this podcast/review/series of increasingly petty tirades, and also I just gave myself an aneurysm by coughing so hard i blew the back of my brain out. I just love wrestling so much it makes my precious brain-meat rattle around in my skull. The doctors call it a Funcussion, and yes it is highly degenerative of one's mental faculties. I will die soon. But not before the dementia mercifully wipes away all memory of this world and leaves me drooling into my pillow while some hopefully attractive nurse washes my poopy butt with a faucet hose. 

All of that is fine by me just as long as my room in the hospice has a TV and they keep it on the wrestling. I've had a long, painful life and if nothing else I've earned the right to drift off slowly to the realm of peaceful non-existence accompanied by the familiar and comforting colors and sounds of my beloved wrestle programs. Although knowing my luck it'll be a 3 man commentary team of Michael Cole, Renee Young, and Corey Graves. In which case the distorted seconds of inward consciousness i experience as the synapses in my brain fry out and die will seem to me an eternity in Hell. 

At least everyone will say I died how I lived. Watching wrestling, shitting myself, and suffering greatly.