Monthly Horizon Complaining (Patreon)

Uh oh. It's that time of the month again. Time to remember that time i played Horizon. 

This is still all from the last session i recorded before having to pack all my stuff into storage. Someone in a comment suggested i record some blue glows of... you know... good games. I'd love to. Since i've been playing so much Super Nintendo lately, that should be easy, but alas, my video game footage capture thingy is also in storage. So instead of sharing cool stuff like Link To The Past and Super Mario RPG, it's just... Horizon. More Horizon. A hundred years more Horizon. 

Well, at least in this episode there's a funny poopy pants bit. I always appreciate those from myself so i assume everyone else does too. At least i hope so. Otherwise i've sent my entire career down the wrong path. But then again i've known that since 2013. 

There's also a random anecdote/rant in here about Dragonball Super, which for the record i think is a pretty great continuation. It sounds like I'm complaining about it here but don't take that too seriously. Compared to what passed for a DBZ sequel when i was a kid, i'll take Super any day. You kids don't know, man. You've never stepped into the Grand Tour.

At this point it's amusing to keep posting these just because every single episode features some new way the game is poopy. It's like, just when you think it's run out of annoying modern game design tropes, out of nowhere it starts throwing baby difficulty in your face and taking away enemies that kill you too much. 

Training Wheels difficulty, hand holding follow the waypoint navigation, vapidly beautiful empty open world, superfluous rpg mechanics, superfluous crafting, shallow dialogue options, long baby-girl tutorial, pseudo-deep "cinematic" story presentation, pretentious AAA tone like it thinks of itself as a really important piece of art, vainglorious somber violin music to make everything seem more artsy than it actually is, Basic-ass back to nature "technology is forbidden" post-apocalyptic setting that completely falls apart if you think about it even a little, Horizon has it all. It's truly the ultimate example of a modern game. And it that respect, it's kind of a masterpiece.