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Edited (epub updated): January 25, 2026

Snow XII

******

Alden volunteered at the hospital on Sunday. He spent most of the morning cleaning things and begging for errands. His thoughts went around and around in circles while his hand did the same, wiping smudges off steel and glass. 

It’s not fair that I’m hiding what I am. It’s not fair that if I stop hiding what I am I might lose everything. It’s not fair that I’ve got a tattoo that makes me hide even more of what I am. It’s not fair that Artonans and humans can just decide hugely important things for me about my own life. Not fair that there are smudges.

It. Sucks.

He was so sick of the litany. It wasn’t even interesting at this point. Nothing new. Just a broken record he couldn’t stop playing.

“What the hell is wrong with me?” he muttered. 

The island was dreary today, and he was outside, scrubbing a tall, narrow window beside one of the hospital’s exterior doors so hard that the cloth squeaked against the pane.

He tried to point his attention toward anything else. What Lind-otta had said to him at the Christmas market seemed like a better direction. She’d been giving him advice, and if an old knight who’d helped save his life did that, he should contemplate it as hard as Stuart tended to contemplate things.

What did she say?

You can’t fight every darkness or bask in every light. Suck it up, and stop complaining about how hard your choosing season is so that you can actually function and do something with your life.

Her wording was better. Less harsh. I should remember it. Let’s see….I think she said, “You can’t fight every darkness or bask in every light, Alden. Accept this, so—”

A purplish hand slapped the other side of the glass near his face. It left a conspicuous print as it pulled away and made a beckoning gesture.

“I just wiped the inside!” Alden exclaimed before he recognized the culprit. It was the surly, overprotective assistant from the dispensary. “Panna-ser? Do you or Master Ladda-ser need something? Is it the artificial heart project?”

The System hadn’t called him, but he’d rather hold an experiment than wash windows.

He stepped inside and got an explanation from Panna-ser that involved too many words being crammed into too few breaths. Alden had to read the translations to get the gist of it all. 

Master Ladda-ser was working on the heart again. She’d been interrupted four times since she came in last night. And now, now, those ignoramuses down in F-city expected her to spend hours traveling there to fix something. They didn’t even want to use the teleportation allotment for her. It was too inconsiderate to comprehend.

Panna-ser had the solution, though. Alden Thorn, who understood the importance of their work, would go instead. He would collect the device, bring it back here, then return it. Master Ladda-ser would repair it in minutes without leaving her office. The interruption to her day, and her brilliance, would be as minimal as possible.

“So it’s a delivery job?” Not an emergency one, or the System would just shoot the wizard toward the problem without asking. Alden supposed this really was a conflict about whether a teleport was more valuable or Ladda-ser’s research time. “Does the thing need me to use my skill on it in transit?”

“That would be ideal, and it is small enough for you to hold. Why else would I ask you to do it?” 

“Just because I’m convenient? I don’t mind. I came here on Esh-erdi’s Nine-Edged Son Whose Own Mother Forsakes Him today, so I can fly down there and back. I won’t have to wait for the ferry.” 

“Very good,” Panna-ser said approvingly. He was wearing his white angel robe, and he shook out the sleeves in a satisfied-looking way. “Call me when you arrive. I will tell them to give you the package.”

******

Alden was grateful to have a mission, and he pushed the edges of the speed limit he’d been given by Sky Traffic Control. His destination was the pediatric hospital in F, where he expected to stop by a desk somewhere and pick up a broken alien medical device that was delicate enough to require his skill and portable enough for him to fly with. 

That was what Panna-ser had described to him.

So when he called the assistant to let him know he’d arrived, and Panna-ser gave him further directions to go to a different place adjacent to the main hospital, he didn’t have any concerns. He was mostly thinking about how nice it was that the womb vault on Anesidora could be housed in such a lovely, conspicuous building instead of being in a nondescript fortress like in some other places. It was pearly green and lotus-shaped. He was a little excited that he’d get to see inside, even if it was only to stop by the front desk. 

He was only a few steps from the dimple in the building’s exterior that marked the entrance when a neighborhood Watcher made her presence known with a sharp whistle. Surprised, he looked up and saw her crouched above the nearest lotus petal on a disc-shaped Meister tool just big enough for both her feet.

She shook her head at him. Strands of her dark ponytail were streaming in the breeze.

“It’s all right,” said Alden, raising his voice to be heard. “I was sent here by Master Ladda-ser’s assistant. To pick up something for her.” 

The Watcher’s disc dropped down toward him. She hopped off onto the walkway and frowned. “Are you sure this is the right place? No one told me, and they usually would have.”

“They’re expecting Master Ladda-ser instead. But she’s busy with something, so her assistant said I should do it. It’s just picking up a broken device of some kind and keeping it safe with my skill on the way to Central Crescent. I’ll bring it back here when it’s repaired.”

“Let me call inside. They really should have told me…”

Her eyes went distant for a moment, and then she was talking to someone in Chinese. Alden had to repeat everything Panna-ser had told him twice for her, while she explained it to whoever was within the building. It was starting to drizzle. 

“Go stand just inside the entrance,” she said finally. “You don’t need to get wet. Tell the System you want to volunteer here.”

Alden did as instructed. He wasn’t too concerned about any of this. Panna-ser not calling ahead and everyone being confused about why they’d gotten a delivery Rabbit instead of a fixer wizard seemed like it might be business as usual when it came to dealing with the assistant.

There was no front desk within the lotus, like he’d imagined. The entrance led right into a small round lobby. Very comfortable looking furniture filled the room, more like what he’d expect to see in a rich person’s house than a hospital waiting area, but there were no people here. Not until a camouflaged door in one of the cream-colored walls slid aside, and a clean-shaven middle-aged man in a sweater vest appeared. 

“Oh my many alien gods, he’s twelve,” the man said loudly before Alden could greet him. He was speaking over his shoulder, toward the open door. “He’s twelve, people!”

“I’m not twelve,” Alden said, shocked. “I’m sixteen. Sixteen and three quarters.”

“That’s much too close to twelve,” said the man. “I don’t care if the System says you can technically do it. Does that insane wizard’s insane assistant really think we’re going to hand you an artificial womb like it’s a pizza?”

“I get to carry one of the actual wombs? Do they look like they do on TV?”

The man’s expression downgraded him from twelve to ten in an instant. 

“I meant,” said Alden, straightening his polo shirt and attempting to look professional, “I’ll be responsible with it, sir. I think this could really help out Master Ladda-ser and contribute to her work on an external artificial heart. And I’ve carried expensive devices before.”

“Were there unborn babies inside any of them?”

Alden blinked. 

What the fuck, Panna-ser?! You said it was a package! You kept calling it a device! 

But he’d just decided to be professional, so all he said was a very polite, “Hm? No, sir. But I would be extremely responsible. With something like that.”

There was a long pause. Alden adjusted his polo shirt again. 

“Um…like…a human baby, right? Not some other kind of baby.”

The man crossed his arms over his chest. “You look scared to death.”

“I’m not. I just…I was told, explicitly, that I was picking up a package. A device. He very definitely described it as an object, and I don’t think he’s stupid, so…he did that on purpose so that I wouldn’t say no.” Alden frowned. “I’m traveling on a flying vehicle, though. I’m not carrying a baby on that. You need to get me a car. A safe car.”

A baby seemed like something he should watch closely, hold with both hands, and not drop in the Pacific due to a freak gust of wind.

“I’m not sure I’d let you carry the pizza, kiddo.”

Alden resisted the call of a really adolescent eye roll. 

“You were pretty excited when you thought you’d get to see some of our equipment in person, though. And you’re spending your weekend working for free. Want to come take a look in the back?”

“Can I?”

The guy waved him in.

******

An hour later, Alden found himself disappointed. In several womb vault employees, a couple of Artonans, and the entire way things were turning out in this place.

From where he sat in the building’s break room, he could hear the mumble of voices in the meeting room next door. Because he’d been in there with them a short while ago, he could imagine the scene well. They were calling Central Crescent to talk to Ladda-ser, or to talk to someone about Ladda-ser. The man in the sweater vest was in there. He was a doctor. There was also an equipment specialist, the womb vault’s director, and a guy who worked for the hospital system but not usually here at the vault. That man’s role had been described to Alden with a laugh as, “He spends all his time disagreeing with the wizards so the rest of us don’t have to.”

After a quick tour, the doctor had taken Alden in there for introductions. To help explain what everyone who worked here did, he’d also shown him some of the notes from this morning’s staff planning session. This wasn’t a facility where major medical procedures happened daily. The doctor was here for urgent situations that rarely arose. He signed off on incoming and outgoing wombs and made decisions whenever soon-to-be parents had special requests or concerns. Others handled the rest of the work—parent education, outreach, carrying wombs next door to the hospital and overseeing the births for local families who were having a child this way. 

Getting to look around and hear about jobs at the vault, and thinking about how someone with his skill might be able to help out in this environment, had been nice. But on a white table in a room across the hall, there was a cradle with a damaged womb inside it, and inside the damaged womb there was a premature baby, and nobody but Alden felt like this was the most important thing going on today. 

Apparently, what really mattered was the hospital system making sure Ladda-ser learned to come down to F-city in person whenever they told her to. Either on the ferry or using the Artonan portion of Earth’s teleportation allotment rather than the hospital’s. 

They cared about the principle of the thing. She couldn’t be allowed to pick and choose her work based on what she felt like doing while she was here in their world. And they said she needed to learn to take her own calls because her assistant was a menace. Panna-ser would find twenty excuses or workarounds before he even told her someone wanted her for something, and sending Alden to fetch the artificial womb was just the latest example of that. The guy whose job was Artonan wrangling refused to have it anymore. 

It really doesn’t matter that I’m a teenager, thought Alden, fiddling with a snack-sized bag of potato chips while he tried to make out what they were saying in there. If I was the most trustworthy and capable person on Anesidora, they still wouldn’t have let me help because it’s the way Panna-ser wants things done, not the way the hospital wants them done

Because everyone but the doctor had been talking in a roundabout way and reassuring him that this was not an emergency, it had taken Alden too long to grasp their priorities. He’d annoyed them, or at least he’d annoyed the guy whose whole mission in life was disagreeing with wizards, by continuing to propose ways he could help with their problem. 

“I could cut down Master Ladda-ser’s travel time a lot,” he’d suggested. “Instead of taking the artificial womb to her, I could bring her down here on the nonagon—the flying platform I was loaned—much faster than the ferry. And I could hold whatever project she’s working on, too, so that she doesn’t lose her place.”

<<We’re not trying to show them new ways we can accommodate them,>> the man had snapped. <<We’re trying to teach them to accommodate us here in our healing hospital. The next time Panna-ser asks you for anything, have a spine and tell him no. I know you’re a Rabbit, but he’s not even an official hospital worker. He just comes with her.>>

“I was washing windows. It’s not like he interrupted something major.” 

<<Washing windows was more useful than you being here.>> 

The doctor had jumped in at that point and told Alden to head to the break room and grab a snack. So here he was, holding chips he didn’t want and imagining things he’d like to say but knew he shouldn’t.

If you think that washing windows is more important than getting a life support device for someone’s unborn child repaired as quickly as possible, then you’re too stupid for your job. 

He tossed the chips down onto the table. 

Realistically, when a bunch of adult professionals agree on something, and I’m the only person in the building who thinks they’re being crazy, it’s probably me who’s wrong.

So he tried to adjust his thinking. He even looked up information on the internet to prove to himself that he was ignorant.

“Tears in artificial wombs almost never lead to serious complications for the developing fetus,”  he read. “Thanks to round-the-clock monitoring and quick intervention…”

“Nothing quick about this,” he said under his breath. “Who wants to be quick? Instead, we can sit around talking about teleportation allotments and who’s the real boss.” 

“Find any good snacks in here?” 

Alden shut his mouth and dismissed the search window. The doctor in the sweater vest had just stepped into the break room. 

“I’m not hungry.” 

The man walked over to the counter and grabbed a yellow apple from beside the espresso machine. “I expected to develop an aversion to these when I became an MD, but I still like them.”

Alden watched him bite into it.

“That was a joke,” he said after he’d swallowed.

“I got it. An apple a day doesn’t keep you away,” Alden said. “It was a decent joke.”

“Kid…” He set the apple back down. “Never mind. Want to watch me put the womb back to bed until the wizard can get down here to fix things?”

“So Master Ladda-ser’s still not coming right away?” 

“No. But we did finally talk to her instead of her brother.”

“And you’re still not going to let me carry it to her?”

“Afraid not.”

“What if I just sit here in your break room holding the pod until she shows up? That way there would be a zero percent chance of anything going wrong. It’s cool what I can do. It’ll be like no time at all passed for the baby, and then Ladda-ser will be here doing the repair.” 

“You offered that earlier…. It won’t work because I would have to call the parents and explain this whole situation to them. Their fetal health monitors would alert them when your skill cut off the connection. The problem we have here isn’t urgent enough to justify stressing them out for hours and making them doubt we’re taking good care of their offspring.”

“So they don’t even know that their artificial womb is messed up?”

“You think I should call them and tell them there’s a problem, but we’re not doing anything about it yet because the wizard on duty who can fix it is more interested in a different project?”

Alden stared at him. “Well…I guess that’s better than telling them that the wizard would fix it right away if you used the hospital’s nonemergency teleportation allotment for her travel, but you won’t because…you won’t.”

“It’s a flawed universe,” said the doctor, heading for the door again. “But they don’t need to be worried. And if the parents don’t need to be worried, you definitely don’t have any business worrying about it. I’ve been doing this whole doctor thing for a while, you know, and I hate emergencies where I have to stuff my patients into new wombs. If I thought there was any real chance I’d have to do that today, I wouldn’t be letting everyone hold meetings about this or giving a sixteen-and-three-quarter-year-old volunteer the personal tour. Are you coming?”

Alden got up to follow him into the room that held the source of the day’s conflict. 

The pods that protected and monitored the wombs were called cradles. They were ovoid, and their default exterior setting was an opaque tan color. But this one was in display mode, showing what the womb inside currently looked like. The material that surrounded the growing fetus reminded Alden of a wet tomatillo husk, only red. Even though it was supposed to be sturdier and safer than the wombs nature had given humanity, it looked fragile. And this one’s pod was showing a bright highlight over an area where it had detected a flaw in the husk, a spot in danger of tearing.

Alden studied it, trying to decide if it was any bigger than when he’d first seen it. He didn’t think it was.

“Maybe there was some mishap during the transfer,” the doctor said, looking at the problem area, too. “A smaller hospital, a practitioner who isn’t as familiar with the procedure…anything really. Things happen.”

The womb moved suddenly, and Alden jumped, his hands coming out of his pockets, ready for the catastrophe. 

“That’s a little foot,” said the doctor, chuckling as he pointed at the new lump where the resident was pressing against the womb. “We’re getting some exercise right now.”

He changed a setting on the cradle, and the life inside it was displayed. Alden had seen images like this before. He’d watched television on multiple worlds and had sex ed classes in two different countries. But none of that was the same as standing in this room, only a step away from such a spectacular thing. 

The baby was a boy. A few weeks ago, in a hospital in Barbados, he’d been transferred from his mother to the artificial womb after medical issues had put them both at risk. A couple of months from now, he and his pod would be sent back there, and the womb would be opened by his parents. 

He’d be born just like that, a brand new human being. Someone’s son. 

But for now he was here, in front of Alden Thorn. Tiny, thin-limbed, and kicking. 

You should stop that. You’re so small. There’s plenty of room for you to chill in there without taking your feelings out on the walls. They’re not great walls. Your cradle says you’re in a rickety apartment. 

“All right,” said the doctor, picking the whole cradle up. “Let’s go put him back with the others.”

“Why not keep him in here?”

“We could. Some of the enchantments on the cradles support each other when they’re all hanging together, though, so it’s slightly more ideal.”

At least they’re letting the little guy have one ideal situation today.

The vault part of the womb vault was divided into several different softly lit chambers. In each, hundreds of cradles hung from the walls, every one of them on its own mobile arm. The chambers weren’t designed for visitors, but they were meant to be viewed at certain times by the families whose children were growing here. There was a piano in the room where the baby in the damaged womb was staying. Tomorrow, people from all over the world whose wombs were held here would call in to listen to a musician play a few songs. It was one of several ways the womb vault tried to create a warmer experience for long distance families. 

Alden watched the doctor hand the cradle off to a free arm. It lifted up to join the others on the wall and hung there, in display mode, still showing the damaged area.

They’ve got their whole lives ahead of them. And a million choices to make about who they’ll be.

Every joy, every thrill, and every mistake was still to come for them. The piano wasn’t playing right now, but the insides of their cradles wouldn’t be silent. Most of them would be hearing the sounds of their parents’ voices and heartbeats.

It still seemed wrong to Alden that someone could stand here looking at them all and then go into a meeting and argue about the things they were arguing about in there. He could tell himself that he was naive and that the adults here knew better than him, but he couldn’t feel it.

“I’ve literally paid to teleport my cat before. Sometimes people teleport in their favorite foods. There’s probably someone on Anesidora right this second eating a special bagel that the System brought in through the TC.”

“That’s true,” said the doctor. 

Alden looked at him. He wanted to ask if they would have chosen today to have their standoff with an oddball wizard whose assistant kept stepping on toes if the damaged womb had belonged to a local. If this had been an Avowed’s baby. He really wanted to ask.

“It was good to meet you, Alden.” The doctor smiled at him. “I think I’d probably let you deliver a pizza.”

“Thanks.”

“But I’m going to send you off now since we don’t need you.”

Alden nodded. 

The doctor led the way back to the door that connected to the lobby. 

“I’ll stay here,” Alden said, as the man reached for the handle. “In the lobby. Just in case something does happen and you need my skill. Even if it’s only a one in a thousand chance.”

“You can’t stay in the visitation area. It’s for families who want to spend time with their cradles.”

“I’ll just stay near the building then. I won’t bother anyone.” 

The doctor sighed. “Don’t do that.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I want to.”

“I wasn’t worried about it. I was thinking it was unnecessary. And that some people might be annoyed to see you lingering nearby. People who would rather have you washing windows than sticking around looking eager to carry out Panna-ser’s instructions.”

“I don’t care about annoying some people,” said Alden. “There’s a public street right outside, so it’s not like anyone can force me to go very far. I’ll be here. Now you know. I appreciate that you showed me around.” 

******

“Dear Stuart,”

“Stu-art’h,”

“Hey, Stu…”

“Boe,”

“Dear Kibby,”

“Yo, Earth!”

Alden frowned at his interface. He was sitting under an awning outside a pastry shop, drinking coffee that no amount of sugar could mask the burnt flavor of, with the nonagon positioned to block the wind and misty rain at his back. He was chilly, but he had a chair and a view of the womb vault’s entrance from here, so this was where he’d stay until he saw Ladda-ser go in. 

He expected to be parked in this spot for hours. 

He felt like saying something. To someone. But he couldn’t seem to figure out what or to whom.

He typed, “Dear,” into his interface again and watched the golden word shine there for a very long time. 

“Dear Mom and Dad…”

Yeah, he thought. I see. Maybe this is that kind of day.

******

******

Dear Mom and Dad,

It’s me. Alden. We haven’t seen each other in a long time.

I miss you. It sucks that the way I miss you is so much about imagining what it would be like to have you here with me now instead of remembering things we actually did together back then. I like the memories better. The imagining can be pretty empty. Or it’s only ideas I’ve stolen from seeing other people with their parents. 

Like maybe you’d call to check up on how I’m doing laundry because Haoyu’s mom does that. 

Or maybe if I told you about the decisions I’m struggling with at the moment, you’d give me your opinions and then say that you trust me. That when I feel confident I should act with my full strength and the knowledge that you won’t be disappointed, no matter what I choose. 

The Primary said that to Stuart. It must have felt really, really good for him to hear those words. 

I’m writing to you today because…

That sounds like a line from a business proposal or something. Forget that I said it.

I got to see inside a womb vault today. It made me think of you.

It also made me think about how some baby bokabvs grow up perfectly safe and happy and others turn into tortured demons that get eaten by the Quaternary’s griveck traveling companion. 

I thought about klerms, too. Stuart brought me one the other day, after I told him that Bti-qwol had killed the one I preserved with my skill. He called my ability to protect living things profound, and he said that in the future I could ask him for his help to save the most insignificant bacterium in the universe if it was important to me.

He really says things like that.

He really means them.

The Anesidoran womb vault people and some wizards who work at Central Crescent have no idea how close they came to getting a call from an art’h about why we can’t get this one specific unborn baby’s housing situation fixed immediately.

They still might.

I’m trying to be practical. I think this is hitting me harder than it should. The baby’s just doing his best to live, but everything that happens to him is decided by these big forces he has no control over. 

Humans. Artonans. Avowed. An island that is a prison and also enviably luxurious. A war that’s out there but that doesn’t often feel real here. 

I’m afraid of being pushed and pulled by those same forces, too. 

My mind healer, Yenu-pezth, asked me why I was suddenly trying to avoid looking at the smudges that exist on all the bright moments I’ve had lately. This knight who saved my life, Lind-otta, asked me how hard it was to go through Thegund and what would make me want to do something like that again. I keep asking myself who I’m going to be in this universe.

None of the answers are perfect.

I want better ones, but I’m afraid there aren’t better ones.

I think I’d really love to be a teacher. Or a doctor. A person who builds an amazing home for a family. A great friend. Someone who doesn’t get shunned at the local Christmas market. 

Someone who can do magic. Who won’t be punished for it and who doesn’t have to hide it from anyone.

Someone who belongs, completely and with no awkwardness, in some world.

Sorry, Dad…but not a pastor. The public speaking. The giving other people advice. Trying to explain God. Every week. That’s not for me. I’m sure about that.

I’m also sure about sitting here in this uncomfortable chair with this crappy coffee until I see an Artonan go into that building. I live here until further notice. I’ll still be here at sunrise if I have to.

I’ve chosen one small battle. If it’s pointless, I’m okay with that. 

Lind-otta also said something about this. Earlier today, I was trying to remember exactly how she put it, but then Panna-ser came along and got me involved in this. I think I remember it now. She used the same phrase as the Primary. The one that means full strength.

“You can’t fight every darkness or bask in every light. Accept this, so that you can choose the right battles for yourself and fight them at full strength.”

It makes sense to me, so I don’t know why I haven’t figured out what I need to yet.

I understand the dark and light are both here, always one layer away from each other. I know I can’t have everything or fix everything.

I’ve already told myself that the hardest part of my choosing season will be choosing what I lose.

Maybe my problem is acceptance. Acceptance is different than knowing. It’s hard. 

And I’m tired of losing things.

Thanks for letting me talk, Mom and Dad. I’m sorry that there’s nowhere for the System to send this letter.

I’ll always love you.

Alden

******

******

Alden watched a whole Anesidoran afternoon pass by. 

Superhumans, mopeds, and cars filled the street. Drones zipped, and sluggish gray clouds rolled overhead. He saw a few families come and go from the lotus-shaped building. They all had such a particular, beautiful kind of happiness about them.

He spent a while trying to focus on that instead of the smudges, but the words of his own letter made him feel like he had to give Healer Yenu and Lind-otta the benefit of the doubt.

One layer away from here, there were so many problems. And although Alden could walk through a lot of doors in his life, he’d lose something precious and face something hard behind every one of them. 

He told himself to accept it, but then caught himself, hours later, searching again for a door that was better than all the others. A special, magic door that gave him everything he truly cared about while taking nothing important away.

Okay, he thought. I understand. There really is something here I ought to let go of.

He worked on himself as well as he could while he waited.

It was nearly seven in the evening when a black car finally pulled up to the womb vault and Ladda-ser and Panna-ser stepped out. Alden was damp and freezing. He hadn’t quite managed to make himself stop looking for that magic door. 

But he was glad to see help come, and he went to stand on the sidewalk in front of the vault so that they’d have to speak to him when they emerged. Forty-five minutes later they came back out, and he stepped in front of them. 

“Master Ladda-ser,” he said with a bow, “did you repair the artificial womb?”

“Of course she did,” said Panna-ser, bundled up in a white coat over his angel robe. “Her repair was close to perfection.”

Ladda-ser nodded. One of her eyes was on a drone, and the other was studying Alden’s chin like she’d found something interesting on it.

“Is the baby well?” he asked.

“Of course it is. You could have brought it to us, and it would also have been well,” Panna-ser said. “This trip was unnecessary.”

Alden was relieved. “That’s so good,” he said to Ladda-ser. “Thank you.”

Another car was pulling up for them. 

“Panna-ser,” Alden said as the assistant hurried toward it ahead of his sister, “give me both of your ears, please.”

Panna-ser looked around. 

“If you try to get me to do something for you again by hiding information you suspect I would care about, I’ll never do another favor for you. I’ll pretend I can’t hear you when you speak. Master Ladda-ser will have to ask me for everything herself.” 

Panna-ser moistened his lips. “I didn’t hide—”

“You either hid the fact that it was an in-use womb on purpose, or you’re unbelievably awful at explaining things clearly. Either way, don’t do it again. And I hope you wiped off that handprint you left on my clean window.”

The Artonan frowned. Ladda-ser was looking at her brother questioningly.

“There are too many unavoidable smudges in the world,” said Alden. “I don’t have to accept yours.”

After their car had left, he lifted the hand with the driving ring on it and called the nonagon toward him from across the street. 

All right. That was a long day.

The Superhero Snowball Fight was about to start in the gym. He’d been excited about it earlier in the week.

I could still go. Catch the second half?

He was tired and hungry. Grabbing food sounded better than anything else right now. He decided to try for the event anyway mostly because he didn’t want to wake up in the morning feeling sad about missing out.

He got his flight path approved and lifted off, looking down at the womb vault as he rose. 

Relax while you can, little guy. It’s a mess out here.

******

Next Chapter

Comments

Armo

SOUP! *bangs on table*

Anthony Lutz

REFRESH SQUAD ASSEMBLE!

ImNotHere

let it snow, let it snow, let it snoooooooow

Ploddingpanda

Thank you Sleyca!! Caught it right before bed!

pierre boucheron

Your writing continues to be impactful, Sleyca. I don't think I've seethed at people playing office politics like that in a long while.

SFGuru

Seems like Alden is actually going to make a major decision about his future in the near(ish) future. I wasn't expecting that until the end of his 2nd term. Also WOW - petty bureaucrats can be really petty!

Ploddingpanda

So an approximate Saturday chapter probably means we'll get a chapter on Monday? 😛

T N

It's so sad how in this timeline he missed the snowball fight...

deez

Thank you for the delectable chapter! It seems like Alden is getting closer and closer to making his decision. I’m excited to see what he chooses in the end

Faiir

Yay Alden standing up for himself!

Alex Matheny

"I see. Matbe it is one of those days" sure does hit hard. Had a few myself recently where I pull up one of my sad playlists and have a good cry about it.

Лада Красильникова

Absolute tearjerker of a letter. And Alden can now face the fact that every door with "peace on Earth" has a "look away from Stu as he suffers" behind it, too.

Need More Hugs

I'm so happy Alden is growing into his skin a little at a time. At times, you really remember he's growing, but he still has the teenage awkwardness that pops up

CB

Im loving the capter, nothing new there. But I enjoyed the first part because of its realism not giving a teen an artifical womb and organisations being stupid. I liked the second parts because of the feelings. The third part because of Alden standing true to his convictions and voicing them.

Catherine

Only the first half. Hopefully we see the second half. I've been looking forwards to it too

Jaz

A dollop of introspection amidst all this tension. Ahhhhhh, what a relief.

Catherine

Agreed. I wanted to reach into the story somehow and throttle the lot of them- not kill them or anything. Mild throttling. Before telling them to get over themselves and get on with helping the fetus!

GryphonKnight

Aldulting can be so disappointing ☹️ Dad taught Aerospace to Naval Officers 🚀⚓️ In your personal budget, if you save $1,000 then you can spend it on fun things or save up for a car 🚗 If Dad saved the US government $100,000 on a satellite, his coworkers had to find a way to spend it before the end of the fiscal year 🛰️💾💾💾 If they didn’t spend it, $100,000 would be cut from their budget. Forever.✂️ Because obviously they didn’t need it, and others did 💸💸💸 So their budget only went up, it never went down when not needed, up when needed, or better yet, saved some funding for long term projects like a second wind tunnel 💨 Alden is going to be even more disappointed when he finds out about vacation days, sick days, personal days, and my personal arch nemesis “Floating Holidays” which are all time off from work, but have different rules for when you can use them, how much money you get for unused ones, and when they evaporate into nothing 📆📆📆😈💵📖💨💢 🎬

Catherine

That question Alden wanted to ask, about whether they would have made the same decision had his parents been Avowed. Wow. That made me take a deep breath. I want to know the answer too. How deep are the divisions between avowed and the rest of humanity to some people? Or would they have made the same choice regardless of who his parents are?

Max Dudley

I know this is such an important part of the story but my god if we don't move on or get a release from this tension i really feel like im going to just have to drop this entirely and come back in 6 months. This really feels like torture right now (in a goodish way to be fair), its just frustrating having both the story and the pace of release now dropping so much that it feels like weve been on the same damn topic for 3 months now.

puppy0cam

> “I’ve literally paid to teleport my cat before. Sometimes people teleport in their favorite foods. There’s probably someone on Anesidora right this second eating a special bagel that the System brought in through the TC.” don't forget the knights who teleported themselves and their couch to intercept Alden on the way to the TC that one time.

Gregory

There’s Alden destroying someone with calm(ish) words again. Also the interaction makes me wonder how much of this is actually Ladda-ser’s desire and how much comes entirely from Pann-ser.

11037

I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, your writing is still great, but if no crisis and no decision is upcoming on the issue, my personal preference would be to change the topic away from Alden's future. It is frustrating to have this dangled in front of me so often, for so long, but have no progress made whatsoever. I'm fine reading the next hundred chapters with nothing happening on that front, but I don't want to read another hundred chapters of Alden agonizing over how he can't chose, and making no decisions at all aside from not wanting nightmares.

Adam Andersson

"Dear mom and dad..." Oh, so we crying today huh? Yeah, we crying today

Taitenator

God I love this story so much, Alden feels like he’s getting so close to a moment of Decision and it’s so fascinating to follow his thought process every step of the way

Steffen

This story, more than any other story I read, leads me to moments of quiet contemplation. It's something I really appreciate.

Slightly Morbid

This one of the chapters that will call forward primal instincts. Lives of babies will bring up those, the need to nurture and protect, and they will be formed by our lived experience. For me it will call up that I was prematurely born with my parents crying outside an incubator, not allowed to touch me, not knowing if I would survive. I think my father has brought that fear with him for the rest of his life. I would most likely have been much safer in a closely monitored hanging womb. I will also be reminded of how my mother is a doctor who chose to also educate herself as a psychiatrist. How she didn't worry about things my father worried about, how different perspective she had with knowledge of medicine and ailments. And how hard he could find it, small issues scaring him. The doctors most likely already have procedures if something goes more wrong. The emergency teleport they didn't want to use will suddenly become available. But that's not enough for Alden because he worries. He wants to build a safe house, but no house will feel safe when worry is always near.

jose sanchez

Gran capítulo!!. Me avía dejando un poco insatisfecho el anterior, pero ahora veo que te estabas agachando para pegar un saltó.

Josiah Greenwood

Beautiful chapter. I have a soft spot for children calling adults to account. I hope they listen.

JJ Hunter

I'm so darn proud of Alden. Political battles can be so draining compared to the physical ones he's been training himself for, but he handled this small one very well, both sticking to his principles and not leaving until the problem was resolved and there was zero need of his emergency pause skills (and therefore quietly but implacably reminding all the humans involved that there's an unborn baby at stake and they have the power to fix this faster), and also setting an important boundary with Panna-ser the way he once failed to enforce with Joe. He also stopped running around long enough to focus on his latest assignment from Yenu, and come closer to the core of what he's been struggling with. It felt like he articulated some important truths to himself, one of which was that he really wants to not have to hide doing the amazing magic he's capable of. That's a decision that means Quiet Rabbit has an end date, and it's a big scary step forward to figure out how he's going to get from here to there, but he's finally admitted to himself it's a core thing he wants someday.

JJ Hunter

Also that letter made me bawl both times I'm read this chapter so far. Alden really does put his all into writing letters that matter; I wish his parents could read this one.

Thomas Todd

Alden standing up for himself and appreciating his time/skill was amazing. I'm so proud of him

Guus van der Borg

I've got to admit, I'm having a hard time feeling sympathy for Alden this chapter. He spends vast majority of the chapter moping things aren't going the way he wants them to even though an entire building full of trained medical professionals, every single one of which probably has skills better suited for this stuff than him, and then blows up at an assistant for wanting things to go his way and interupting the thing he was doing. The thing he didn't consider important enough to return to because he thought he knew better than, again, an entire building full of people who know exponentially more about the subject than he does. This really does feel like an entire chapter of 'ridiculous teenage moping' to me. And normally I wouldn't care too much, but imo there has already been entirely too much moping lately.

Kemlion

Oh snap. Sassy rabbit has sassed again 🥸

Schuh

He didn't complain about being interupted, or things not going the way he wanted. He is saying that he will stop listening to Panna-ser if he keeps purposefully withholding important information. I think that is a reasonable stance to take.

skinnywhite

I, like Alden, was excited for the snowball fight earlier in the (year). I wonder if Sleyca's original vision for the fight has changed significantly since it was first teased, or if this was always the path toward it. Regardless, excellent chapter. And unlike some who are reaching their quitting point with this chapter, I actually felt there was real progress toward Aiden making a decision and acting on it. Excellent chapter.

Anthony Lutz

Did we ever get information to the contrary that Panna-ser was ordinary class? Avowed are supposed to be higher on the societal ranks right? did Alden just call him out for overstepping? Ladda-sers questioning look leads me to think something like that. Alternatively, Panna lied or twisted the truth to Ladda and either never said Alden went to help, or that he refused outright. Will someone else be removed from Earth due to Aldens statements?

SammyVeeee

I think Alden's sense of risk is still calibrated for sudden chaos event. That little fetus was never in that much danger. There were multiple trained professionals and magical resources available in case things were to get worse. But Alden likes to prepare for "what if demons attack and the system goes down and also I'm three quarters of the way drowned?"

Not_You

Every single recent chapter has left me chomping at the bit for the next. Everything is getting heavier and heavier, momentum is building more and more.

Caerold

If you think that washing windows is more important than getting a life support device for someone’s unborn child repaired as quickly as possible, then you’re too stupid for your job.  Preach!

Ano Ano

Getting righteously chewed out by a teen is such a particular feeling. Damn.

Caerold

Give me both of your ears… damn, our boy be spitting them in both languages today

AdvocateOfDoors

Absolutely loved this chapter. I was getting watery eyed at the end.

JKlarinet

Alden being a better adult than the adults.

Aidan Scullion

This one is moving in the right direction I think. Yes Alden was moping and wrong about it, but that letter to his parents helped him at least try to confront his demons, and I think he's realised he doesn't want a regular job.

Brandon Steele

If Alden was open with who he was there is a good chance he would have been trusted with the womb, or at the very least pushed for the hospital to use their allotment of teleportation. By not revealing the truth, he is essentially choosing his "secret" and "peaceful life" over saving the womb. He is was mad at the other Adults for not immediately doing everything they can to save the womb because he too is not doing everything he can. Though he is avoiding that thought. He is trying to ignore the "smudges" around him because some of them are caused, or could be fixed, by him. He wants to be able to live a normal life and ignore those smudges, but as time goes on it is becoming harder and harder to ignore them.

PeasOfCrab

Thanks for the chapter. Looking forward to more externalization of Alden’s thoughts and values. And for when he can communicate as openly with Stu, Boe, or Kibby as he did with the phantasms of his parents here.

Alex Scriber

I agree, and I think Alden slowly coming to realize that is the main purpose of the chapter.

C D

Alden needs to preserve his contract tattoo immediately he has battles he is needed in. One that I've never heard anyone mention here is that I think the use of magic is what causes chaos, imposing order on the universe by our own wills has the equal and opposite effect. The creation of chaos by no one's will.

Winston's Demise

This chapter was a nice closure and summary of where Alden is at. A lot of mirroring with the conversation between Stu in the cold wet rain and the letter to his parents in the cold wet rain. I like the framing of acceptance versus knowing. Hopefully this let's the story focus a little more on the character dynamics and interactions instead of "life" reflections and conversations for the next bit. There is a lot still to be done: -Esh talk -Joe tattoo and contract magic potentially -Stu research -Elites decisions and conclusions - Kibby letter -Gorgon - Vera drama - Wave close out (feels mask related) His conversation with the Artonan was firm and clear, not rude.

John D Jones

I wonder how long it's going to take for some people, especially on the Artonan side, to realize that Alden Thorn can potentially call down the political Wrath of God on them if they fuck about with him. He has a high Commendation from Fourth Hn’tyon Alis-art'h. He was recently involved in the spat that saw Bash-nor shit-canned from his post as Ambassador. He also flies around in the personal Nonagon transport of Hn’tyon Esh-erdi. And all that's without somebody potentially receiving a "Concerned Message" from likely one of the spouses of the Primary. The worst part of this is that Alden is a relatively humble, cautious, discrete person not prone to abusing his influence. Which means that if and when he chooses to aim that particular "gun" at somebody, it's going to fire real "bullets." On a different topic, I wonder if Ladda-ser is autistic-coded.

PhoenixPax

I have so, so many things to say about this chapter. Don't worry -- they are good! I just want to start with saying that this chapter feels like a love letter to the fans.

PatienceHoney

It really really does. It was a soft chapter, the way a breeze is soft on your skin in late spring, rejuvenating and kind. (I have a weird love of soft breezes.)

PatienceHoney

I was thinking a similar thought while reading. He is a child of trauma and neglect. And the moment he gets more autonomy over his life he was thrown into a situation way too big for him. He now sees the world in this way - as too harsh for him to handle so he has to get smarter and more powerful. And when he does, he just moves the goal on himself... I also noted that all of his thoughts were for the darkness (what burden he would accept and what he would lose), I have not seen him look at the different lights he could bask in, unless it is to think of them as a future loss... When he was sitting there monitoring the situation, I was reminded of the painting of Stu's brother. Standing with a small lamp and a tiny life, looking out into the vast area of chaos.

Torason

What a beautiful and wholesome chapter

Gorane

I think the gorgon thing can be extended to the whole "the invitation to do PR in Chicago" potential storyline. Which we havent heard about in a while

Andrew Simpson

What a weird couple of chapters. I'm glad Alden decided to be at least a little decisive, but this whole thing felt a little pointless.

Gorane

I feel similarly, but I have some faith that end of this arc will go somewhere

Alice YU

I have an irrational fear that it might backfire on Alden when that happens: people who wants to defame him calling him traitor to humanity or something. It’s an irrational fear, I keep telling myself, but what’s bugging me is that it’s not completely impossible 😵 and I’m killing myself over here.

Poiuy

Too real, but Alden picked a good hill.

zdm

It is indeed a mess.

Jason Harpster

Points for effort, and a gentle rebuke. Double points however for using the forsaken son as a wind break. Quad points however for not reenacting the loki/hulk scene from that marvel movie.

Faces The Wind

The way Sleyca walks us through both trauma and healing is so profound and personal that I fear chapters like this and the last one might lose a few people who don't connect in the same way. I am awe struck by this author and riveted. Thank you Sleyca!

Francis

I think Panna is just keeping a lot of things from Ladda

Francis

Beautifully said. I see now where Sleyca was going with this womb vault line. There is something about fragile babies that can bring out those primal instincts like nothing else can.

KB

Agreed. I find myself wanting to comment on the deeper aspect of this chapter, but can't quite find what I want to say. I think I need to let it settle and think about while I go about my life before I know what it means to me.

David

I thought that the symbolism of Alden waiting in the rain was interesting, in that rain isn’t snow. The Anesidora mask on his face isn’t cold enough yet to form snow?

DAK

There’s been a lot of conjecture about what the Informant knows and doesn’t know. But, he almost certainly knows Alden just chewed out an artonan assistant in front of his wizard on the sidewalk. Is this relevant? No idea. Yay, corporate politics! Ugly, ugly corporate politics. The only thing that felt off was the snark directed at Alden himself, though. Doctors can be mean and petty, of course, and (at least in the USA), trainees can get utterly chewed out by an attending. But usually that is only directed at the established trainees. A med student might get snark, but is not usually going to get that direct level of hostility. And a shadowing high schooler might get ignored, but they’re not going to get pissed on like that. “Grow a spine” is just breathtakingly crass to go tell a volunteer 16 year old. Both sides lose this little battle in my so very very important opinion…

KB

Such a beautiful chapter with so much to think about. Alden's stress about his choosing season is so believable. All seventeen year olds are asked to make life choices at an age when they don't have enough information about the world or themselves to know what the right choice is. And Alden's choices are so much bigger. I am stressed for him. I do not want him to have to give up... all of Earth. OR his opportunity to explore his magic fully. So, I'm glad he's taking his time; if he decided quickly and without thinking it through I wouldn't respect him or believe him as a character.

KB

Oh and also! I really want Alden to go to the snowball fight!! Because I want to see it. And I am definitely going to start saying, "Give me both of your ears" when I need to.

Tifer

I like the direction of the thought but I think the scene where the Informant put a block on people snooping into Alden's info for however-many-months was meant to quash speculation about how the Informant could affect Alden's life in the near future. Personally I'd love to see Alden experience personal consequences from Anesidora's benevolent surveillance state.

J

Things I hope happen in the next few chapters(/prediction) 1) Big Snake invites Alden to join the snowball fight 2) Alden, with his reflection on seeing all the smudges (bearable burdens) in the world, aligns quicker/stronger to BoaB 3) Alden pops off: he catches/“throws” either with authority or just more efficiently that last time he was in the zone with Big Snake 4) By aligning with BoaB Alden realizes that by aligning, BoaB is affecting his personality just like how Bithe’s skill affected his personality because Bithe has a strong alignment with his skill.

Sean Shivers

1. Poor Natalie has no chance. Alden didn't even think of her once.

Sean Shivers

2. Connie didn't even get a single thought once. :'(

Sean Shivers

Honestly surprised he didn't send it to Hannah. That would be a great transition... She comes back from a high chaos world and just finds tons of teenager angst

Tifer

I loved the prose here and thoroughly enjoyed the reminder that Alden's domestic problems long predate his internment on Anesidora. Also wanted to voice criticism entirely intended to be constructive or, failing that, to be a reply chain for nitpickers and cynics who don't want to harsh other commenters' mellow with unsolicited critical views but also might be too polite (or cowardly!) to give their opinions. For mine, I don't personally resonate much with the introspective journey Alden is on, so I wish I could skip to the point at which it translates into action in the world. Not necessarily "explosions and volcanos" action, just anything that affects the world outside Alden's head. I am super supportive of everyone who loves the musing-type chapters, though.

Sean Shivers

I studied philosophy... I'm all for contemplation and thorough thought... But it was extremely gratifying to see to him actually take action against bash'nor. He has so much political power that he does nothing with. If he just shared stu'art's research with CNH he'd single handedly revolutionize humanity's understanding of their skills. And instead he's worried about if Stu's family is being mean to him.

JJ Hunter

I feel like this particular power play situation is not dissimilar to the power struggles between Worli Ro-den, the Grand Senate committee, Yipalck Corporation, and the executioners overseeing Ro-den's punishment. A tear in an artificial womb "almost never" leads to serious complications for a developing fetus; a weakness in reality "almost never" leads to a full-blown chaos incursion. It's rarely the people engaging in power plays like this who bear the consequences if that unlikely risk is realized. There are some quite unlikely events with catastrophic outcomes where even a slight risk means you *must* act promptly. (In my sphere of work, we multiply the likelihood by the severity for a combined risk score- likelihood alone is not a reliable guide for appropriate action.)

JJ Hunter

I wonder if the hospital system admins and societies would be treating Master Ladda-ser quite like she needed to be taught a lesson like a reluctant child if she habitually spoke for herself and met their eyes? The way the designated wizard-wrangler spoke to Alden like he was a Rabbit class trope incarnate ('grow a spine') makes me wonder if he's in the habit of other lazy assumptions and passive aggressions.

S

... I firmly believe one of those mental doors is labeled "Natalie" and behind it is "the loneliness and difficulty in making long distance relationships work"

Alex Scriber

It was considerate of the doctor to take the time to explain things to Alden and show him around.

Jack Slash

This was such a small-seeming fight for Alden to pick, but wow was it important. I didn't really link this with Thegund until we followed Alden's thought process for it, but yeah this kind of petty injustice is a smaller version of what happened. And the last line about smudges was really, really good. On a meta level I love your use of time here. Feels like it stretches out in a maddening slow way before snapping back to the present.

Kim Enteiu

That was such a satisfying moment that showed how much Alden has grown in his knowledge of Artonan culture, his own boundaries, and his assertiveness. I love how it bookends with the wizard insisting to Alden that he did not hear him “with either ear” and the talk he had with Stu about him always focusing with both eyes. It’s such a perfectly deliberate and informed use of language and it feels like he spent hours reflecting on it to get it just right. I feel like if he asked Mother for his outfit with that tone and resolve she would smile and help him pick it out.

JJ Hunter

I wonder if Lute might come play his harp here one day as one of the musicians. I bet he'd enjoy that.

Vitruvius

Sleyca has worked in corporate or government. One couldn't imagine such pettiness.

PhoenixPax

>>> Washing windows was more useful than you being here. Allow me to rephrase that: Washing windows was more useful than Alden getting manipulated by Panna-ser into actively enabling Ladda-ser to ignore her responsibilities. - Panna-ser sends Alden on a mission, lying (by omission) about what it is - Having covered himself by the paper-thin excuse that he has 'arranged an alternative' to Ladda traveling, they no longer 'need' to take any action and can ignore the request - Alden flies from Apex to F city - While he is flying, no actual progress toward a repaired womb is being made - Once Alden arrives, the hospital realizes that however many hours ago they contacted Ladda, she is actually less close to actually arriving than she was when they first called - The actual result of Alden's actions is that as soon as he entered the situation as a 'plausible excuse' for Panna-ser and Ladda-ser to not act, the clock stopped on how soon the repair would actually happen If Alden had kept washing windows in peace, Panna would have been forced to let Ladda-ser do her actual job. Without an excuse, she would have had to get a car or pay for her own teleportation, I'm sure either would have been fine for the Womb Vault. In other words, there is no comparison here between washing windows and saving babies. The comparison is between washing windows and accidentally delaying babies getting medical care. Back in the day, alden was taking public transit from Intake in F to Apex CNH and it took about an hour. In my experience, an hour bus ride can sometimes be shortened down to twenty to thirty minutes in a car that goes directly to the destination with no stops. [Edit: My dumb ass forgot that that was back when there was a working bridge, of course the ferry adds a bunch of time to car travel. The hospital definitely has helicopters that could transport her similarly to the Nine Edged Son if the hospital thought it was worth doing, though, either for the kid or to preserve her research time. I'll leave the rest of the comment basically as-is.] Yet, Alden stands in the rain for hours, waiting for Ladda-ser to arrive. So, are we really saying that Alden offering to take a slightly more direct path in the 9 Edged Son is better than Ladda-ser getting in a car and driving? He would have to literally fly back to Apex, pick up Ladda-ser, and then fly her all the way back to F. Sounds SLOWER than a hospital car or a car service located near the Apex hospital It's a solution looking for a problem. If Ladda-ser didn't arrive for hours, it was because she refused to leave at all (or Panna-ser on her behalf), not because Alden wasn't allowed to attempt to shave 90 seconds off the commute time. [edit: Alden waited all afternoon, Ladda-ser arrived at seven at night, so I think this point mostly still stands. It sounds like it took a really long time to get through to her and/or to get her to actually get into a car, even accounting for ferry time.]

PhoenixPax

A phone call to another planet costs about 3 thousand to connect and then another thousand a minute, if I'm remembering right. So, how expensive is point to point teleportation on Earth? I'm going to guess that number is somewhere in the ten thousand to fifty thousand dollar range, minimum. Let's say if you buy a teleport on the open market, you're spending about thirty thousand dollars a pop, just to put a number to it. So, the Womb Vault requests a non-emergency medical procedure to be done. And the doctor who is supposed to do it demands a thirty thousand dollar travel allowance to come and do a non-emergency procedure. Then Alden shows up -- and also begs the medical team to spend thirty thousand dollars of their own budget to meet the ridiculous demands being made by the doctor who's job it is to do the procedure. And the baby he's asking this for isn't even injured. He just has a small possibility of developing an injury. I feel like Alden's head would explode if he ever saw the inside of an emergency room. At the very moment he's begging for a thirty thousand dollar teleport to fix something that might develop into an active injury if it's left alone indefinitely, there's probably a baby or a pregnant woman who is actively injured who has been sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair without being given much more help yet than some alien Tylenol.

Blorcyn

I can’t seem to read this one. I’ve tried twice now and when he reaches the “dear Mum and Dad” I just start crying. I lost my mother as a kid and every now and then something like this happens. Can someone tell me what happens? Sleyca has always had powerful writing and is very clever. I can see why the womb vault then leads to the letter. But I just had my own baby who my mum will never meet, and I just instantly have been in shreds twice now, and I don’t know that I’ll get past the first lines of that letter any time soon.

PhoenixPax

Hugs over the airwaves, Blorcyn! Here's a brief summary: Alden says that he is struggling because he's thinking about some babies being safe and happy while others are at risk from chaos (like the bokabv calves that likely died on Thegund). He thinks about how Stu saved the klerms and promised to back up Alden even if he wants to save microbes. Even while he's writing, he's struggling with the desire to call down art'h nukes on everyone who isn't dropping every priority except fixing the artificial womb as fast as possible. He admits that the situation is hitting him harder than it should, and that he's being emotional about how the baby is having everything decided by forces the baby has no control over, and how Alden is scared of being pushed and pulled by those forces too. He says he wants normal life and ALSO to be publicly magic. (He knows that isn't possible.) He says he plans to stay until the situation is resolved even if it takes all night. He remembers the full Lind-otta quote: “You can’t fight every darkness or bask in every light. Accept this, so that you can choose the right battles for yourself and fight them at full strength.” He says that he has decided that this situation today is one fight he's committing to. (Staying in the neighborhood of the Womb Vault until he gets confirmation that the situation is resolved.) After he finishes the letter, he sits around in the rain for the afternoon, thinking. He consciously realizes that he keeps searching for a magic future that lets him have all the good things without giving up anything he cares about. He also realizes that even while knowing he's doing that kind of magical thinking, he keeps going back to thinking that way over and over as the afternoon progresses. At seven in the evening, Ladda-ser bothers to show up. Alden waits by the door to confirm the situation is fixed (it is), then tells Panna-ser that if he ever misleads Alden about something to get Alden to do something, he'll never listen to Panna-ser ever again and Ladda-ser will have to make her requests to him directly. He's tired and hungry, but decides to go back to Apex to try to catch the second half of the Snowball fight. End chapter.

Anthony Lutz

I think Sleyca should/could redact the redaction of the gyms wizard repair happening today. Alden didn't want to be "used" like colibri wanted and he was preoccupied anyway. The gym repair could have gone ahead as planned, unless of course there is some plot movement required of him that he does need to attend it.

maledei

I liked how Alden stood up for himself here.

puppy0cam

I'm guessing that Sleyca planned to use it to set some other plot device in motion and other options aren't viable due to sleyca not realising the problem in time. So we've got a filler arc while she smoothes out the issues.

Guus van der Borg

I wonder if anyone still remembers an old comment of mine where I ruminated on the difference between how I see 'Skill made for a servant' and 'Skill made for a saint'? Because I think this chapter is a decent example of what I was talking about back then. Because back then I pointed out that I didn't quite understand why Alden called his entrustment requirement as 'made for a servant', when he had already arrived at the 'made for a saint' part earlier. It felt obvious to me that that was part of it because saints help people when asked and/or when they are needed. And that if you try to 'help' when it is neither asked nor needed, you're just getting in the way. In this chapter Alden wants to be a saint. He wants to help. Very admirable. But he's having a tough time coming to terms with his help not being wanted nor necessary. And I think THAT's why the entrustment is probably such a big part of the skill. It is practically a requirement for a 'Skill Made for a Saint'. I wonder if he'll make this connection himself. I hope so at least, it might make him think less of himself as a 'servant'.

Guus van der Borg

Can you imagine if Alden's skill didn't have the entrustment requirements and he would've just grabbed the womb to show how 'useful' he is, without knowing it would send a flatline alert to the parents? It would've been a whole thing, and Alden would've beaten himself up for it for the rest of his life, I imagine.

meowmeow

This feels like Alden actually stepping forwards in his thought, starting to move past just being angsty about having to lose things/trying easy ways out(asking Joe or Boe who he knows won't actually be helpful). He will, and that's ok even if it sucks. Chapters like these are what make this story the genuinely wonderful work it is, and why I personally will see it to the end even if I don't agree with every writing choice(an entirely natural phenomenon for any author-reader relationship).

PhoenixPax

He made such an effective threat against Panna-ser, too! I'm not sure anything less could have made him stop and consider before he speaks next time.

Keifru

What a great chapter. Nice to see Alden set some people straight who were taking advantage of him. He is young, but a blooming confidence and knowing his self-worth is delightful

JJ Hunter

If Ladda-ser is covering both custom potions on request in her capacity as someone working to gain recognition as a master of potions, and also repairs for magical healing devices, who's on call for making potions when she's getting driven to and from the womb vault for the repair job?

JJ Hunter

Panna-ser was indignant about her already being "interrupted" four times since she came on shift the previous night, so she's definitely been doing at last some on call work besides the delayed repair job. I wonder how much of the delay on her coming to the womb vault to fix it had to do with Panna-ser delaying informing her and trying to arrange for a direct teleport instead, and how much , if any, might have been other on call hospital work for other departments that got their requests in first. If Ladda-ser came in the evening, and she started her shift the previous night, was she coming at the very end of her current shift for this repair job? Curious if she has accommodations somewhere in Anesidora, or if she's going back to the cube (or another world) for travel home to bed. Long day, either way.

PhoenixPax

Strong Bricks is the chapter where we meet Panna-ser and Ladda-ser: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/63759/super-supportive/chapter/2668592/two-hundred-forty-nine-strong-bricks Some Chapter 249 extracts for those who don't want to read the whole thing that might give canon answers (or at least canon conversation and opinions on) questions about Panna and Ladda that I've seen posed in various threads of this chapter: >>> The Artonan, Panna, had the same earthworm hair color as Ambassador Bash-nor, but his demeanor wasn’t similar at all. He was slouching under the doctor’s gaze and sighing like he was enduring something very exhausting. “She will not like having a volunteer.” >>> “No. She will. We’re helping her. Because I’m sure she didn’t mean to start a day-long project when she’s supposed to be in charge of our potions.” >>> “She did mean to. She had an idea of rare worth to test,” Panna muttered. >>> “She has so many of those, though. Isn’t she tired of them, yet?” >>> Doctor Abbasi turned to Alden, “Hello,” he said. “I asked the System if it could help me get our hospital’s extraordinary potion and medical device wizard to modify a potion for one of my patients. >>> Panna looked at the doctor. “That is useful. He can hold your patient until Master Ladda has finished testing her idea.” >>> The doctor gave him an incredulous look. “We’re not having him hold an adult man for ten hours when he can just hold whatever experiment she’s working on for ten minutes.” >>> Panna-ser: “I will convey your presence and the Healer’s request to Master Ladda-ser…who is a Master of Healing Objects for Humans. She is still working on being recognized for mastery of potions.” >>> The doctor beckoned Alden closer. “Don’t think that Ladda-ser is scary just because Panna-ser is hard to get past. She likes humans. It can be hard to tell because she’s extremely introverted. He keeps people from bothering her.” >>> “She’s supposed to be bothered right now,” the doctor said. “She’s at work, and I brought her work only she can do. >>> “You’ll get to use that skill on something cool, I think. She makes amazing things for us.” >>> As soon as he’d picked it up, Ladda-ser drew in a breath and titled her chin up to regard him. Briefly, she seemed like someone who was confused about why her toy had been taken away. Then, in a quiet voice, she said, “I am inventing an enchanted heart for humans to wear while theirs are being healed. It will stick to the chest. We have ones like these, but they don’t work for you. I will make them work for you.” >>> Alden looked at the jellyfish. Enchanted external heart? “Hyektch.” >>> “Please do not drop it.”

Carnicle

It's surprising to me how many commenters seem to take as a given that there's more than one medical professional here in the chapter because that's not what I'm seeing here at all. We're presented four people at the womb vault: "a doctor... an equipment specialist, the womb vault’s director, and a guy who worked for the hospital system..." We're also told: "This wasn’t a facility where major medical procedures happened daily. The doctor was here for urgent situations that rarely arose... Others handled the rest of the work — parent education, outreach, carrying wombs next door to the hospital and overseeing the births for local families..." So we have an IT or facilities person, a manager for a place that primarily does coordination and outreach, and some kind of middle to upper management attack dog. Given that context, in our world, it would be likely that the Director and Arguer be pure administrative staff, and the equipment specialist would either be someone educated as an engineer or with specific vocational training. Out of the three, it's most possible the Director would also be an MD, but in that scenario they would no longer be practicing. I don't see anything that suggests any backgrounds in nursing or other direct patient care, and no one else is shown to be present in the meeting or even in the building.

Carnicle

The sweater vest doctor also verbally claims sole medical responsibility: "I hate emergencies where I have to stuff my patients into new wombs. If I thought there was any real chance I’d have to do that today, __I wouldn’t be letting__ everyone hold meetings about this" The risk assessment isn't a consensus decision, it's that doctor who decides how urgent the issue is, full stop. According to that, not even the Director (his presumptive boss) could delay action if he thought something needed to happen sooner. So Alden's opinion that this problem isn't being addressed with proper urgency is most directly in conflict with the medical opinion of that single doctor.

Saaski

I honestly haven’t seen another author who manages to pull their readers as effectively, and as seamlessly into philosophy class as Slayca. 😁 I already responded a bit to someone else below, but here’s my full 2cents. A large number of people here seem to be taking the hard line that Alden is at least partially in the wrong. Counter Point. Alden had no business being in that situation. He was thrust there by someone self important. Then, when people said that they would rather take the chance to argue bureaucracy rather than let him help guarantee a baby’s life, he thought, “they’re probably right, but I won’t be able to live with myself if I just leave.” He got told he was in the way AND HE REMOVED HIMSELF FROM THE BUILDING. He does NOT continue to harass the staff there. He then takes his time to assert his boundaries with The AH who put him into that situation, but again, he does NOT harass anyone else about it. You are allowed to be mad when you get thrust into unnecessarily stressful situations created by other people. You are allowed to insist on asserting boundaries when people do something as shitty as make you feel responsible for a baby that you had no business being responsible for.

Saaski

Oh, now I’m hoping Alden mentions the possibility to him. Lute so totally Would LoVe That!!!

JJ Hunter

Thank you! she DID talk, somehow my brain had edited that into Panna-ser going by memory. I still think that enchanted heart project is so cool, but starting a day-long research project that doesn't permit interruptions when you are actively on call for medical support is not great planning.

Tarry Higgins

Ladda is a problem because she sees ordinary work as interfering with her research, her extraordinary work. Inventing the external human heart would be a massive professional achievement for her and for the many humans it would help in the future. So that’s what she wants to do. Panna is a problem because he is enabling his sister to avoid normal work, probably at her behest. Poor schmuck! Alden is a problem because he is a child in panic mode and cannot reasonably distinguish between a mid/long term problem and an emergency requiring immediate action. This is largely because of the emergencies that have happened to him. But even he realises that his judgement here may be flawed. The doctor is not a problem because he is an expert in this area, knows what the issue is, knows what the options are and has the experience to make a considered judgement balancing the family, the fetus and the hospitals needs against each other. And he is proven right at the end of the day.

JJ Hunter

Counterpoint: the doctor was deferring to a guy who appears to be a hospital admin consultant on how to address a status struggle with a substantial alien culture component that may be getting blown up unnecessarily because neither the consultant nor the wizard's assistant want to budge on who needs to accommodate whom. (When you get to the point where it's fundamentally a question of whose non-emergency teleportation allotment should be used to cover transit costs, this is a decision that has nothing to do with medical experience and everything to do with power, status, and budget infighting.)

Carnicle

On a less serious note: this is somehow all Bash-nor's fault. I don't exactly know how, but I know in my heart that it is.

JJ Hunter

Soup Wright asked for a contrapuntal poem over on the discord; have one for Esh and Lind. I see the cracks abound / I slow the danger down Each crack can splinter thee / I am whole, I will dodge free My magic breaks, not heals / not healing wounds you most, I feel You are so steady wise / I wist for greater ease to rise I crack jokes to tempt your laugh - my tension breaks, I whooping laugh I help you hold your ground - you brace each hurt you found Not every dark is yours to fight, yet every dark has you for light You are my sun: let us become

AnonymousBlob

Oh boy it’s Saturday!

JJ Hunter

Next chapter predictions in haiku, or otherwise? Gym goes wonderland Snow falling, bleachers filling Snowballs blitzing by

JJ Hunter

Forget 'Brute Ring Special' Water Shaper's snow friends fight All-comers ably

MWF

tl:dr this particular chapter resonates with what would be called in English class a "theme" about when to tell the whole truth, which I hadn't realized really runs deep in Super Supportive.

PhoenixPax

Brilliant! Here's one from me: I accept no gentle fate / My steps have slowed of late How can I ease the weight? / My feet stand at your gate I see all of your best / Is it time to leave my rest? My path marks me alone, I travel for hope of home I strive to know my strength, can I walk all of the length? How will my story lie? Will I fall or will I fly? I give you both my eyes / My heart wants no more lies

MWF

/*begin ramble So Alden's little talk with Panna-Ser kinda fascinated me because his frustration with "hiding information you suspect I would care about" works on three levels just by Alden saying it. There's the obvious (1) of being annoyed with Panna-Ser, but I think part of why Alden was angry (for Alden) about it was of course (2) because that's what Joe did to him that got him stranded on Moon Thegund in the first place, omitting key information about the danger and the recourse the lab assistants had which left Alden less information to make decisions with. Having a wizard give him a task missing critical information *again* probably stung a little. It was probably also frustrating to him because (3) he is currently in the process of doing that to Stu'arth because he knows Stu would want to know but telling Stu the whole truth could very well ruin his life, which seems like a bad risk to run until he's ready to take that risk. So that's three levels right there, but then I started to think about other instances of that theme--telling the damning truth and dealing with the consequences or not--playing out throughout the story. Lute and Marciel came to mind as sort of counterexamples of people who trusted their loved ones with important information whose lives were if not "ruined" then "significantly negatively impacted" as a result. Lute had been smart enough to wait to tell his family about getting Selected until he had a class he liked, but he didn't realize that telling his mother about his fears for her was something she'd be willing to use against him "for his own good". She and his grandmother conspired against him to use that fear to force him to take Chainer when he didn't really want it and so he got permanently stuck with that class. And that's doubly insulting because there's a real chance that his mother was keeping some important information from him because it is odd that she forced him to attend an academy for high ranks if she genuinely never expected him to be selected. Even if she was telling the truth that Cyril really is his father she clearly overstated how unlikely it was for him to be Selected because, ironically, she was afraid it would hurt him to hope. And then there's Marciel who was perfectly happy with her life and when she got Selected, she told her parents because she expected them to help her cover it up but they didn't. And she'd kinda emblematic of how the way the current world order in the Soupverse works really forces a lot of Avowed to make this decision of whether or not to tell the truth. Quite a few choose to keep it a secret identity so they can stay unregistered and continue to have their lives with their family and friends and lovers without being whisked off to the glorious island prison that is Anesidora. Boe is another very obvious example but also he's an interesting mystery because he wants to tell Alden something else and was haunted during Alden's "death" by not taking the risk and telling him some essential truth about himself he thought his best friend/brother from another mother needed to know about. He's kinda a potential cautionary tale of the kind of regret Alden might have if he doesn't tell Stu-arth his truth before it's too late. Boe also makes me think of Joe again, because obviously Joe failing to tell Alden some pretty critical details about his mission was huge but sometimes I wonder about Joe's side of it. We occasionally see the more vulnerable side of Joe like in The Elder's Croak or when he's holed up in his room avoiding The Thanksgiving and Bash-nor. What was he thinking, I wonder, when he stood there in the teleportation room waiting for alden to come back with the children and lab goodies and slowly realized that something had gone wrong. I'm sure he was so unhappy he'd be in trouble and worried about his lab assistants, but did he regret not giving Alden information ahead of time? Did he regret not listening more closely to Alden's anxious requests to go back to Thegund and get more people out sooner? Bash-nor is also funny to think about because of what happened earlier in this arc. It was his job as a politician to hide his disdain for humans and he very miserably failed, meeting the painful truth of a grieving man with his own painful truth that he just did not care really. He was more focused on his political goals than feeling or at least feigning the kind of empathy he was supposed to show the humans to keep up good relations. Contrast that with Gorgon who literally burned himself to pass along a critical bit of information to help Alden get the perfect skill. A kindness for the human child who had made an effort to get to know some of Gorgon's truths that he could no longer share freely. Also one of the lines that I can't quote perfectly but lives in my head is when Alden teases Gorgon for not being able to call him a friend and Gorgon responds that he's not really sure that they can be called friends if "one of them is incapable of presenting himself as he really is and the other is incapable of perceiving him as such." That's kinda a profound line, even outside the context of imprisoned space priest wishing-wells. How many relationships do any of us have where we are fully capable of presenting ourselves as we are and know that the other person really understands us in turn? And I could go on for awhile, but I'm getting tired of typing so my final example is Kibby. She is the perfect example of how careful curation of the truth is built into Artonan society. She's a child, and "loving lies" are common to protect children; she was a member of the common class which frequently isn't expected to understand the world the same way the wizards do and isn't given the same information; and, sort of maybe in an extension of the class connection, she was never told what knights were so she doesn't know that its a bad idea to teach Alden magic. Because Artonans keep the respectful silence for the knights which is meant to protect the knights but winds up backfiring because neither Alden nor Kibby know what risks they're running when she teaches Alden magic. To conclude, they say "knowledge is power" and secret identities have long been a classic superhero genre trope but somehow I'd never connected those two ideas together until this chapter. Super Supportive has a really fascinating way of examining that theme. end ramble */

PhoenixPax

Narratively, Alden is the Baby. Narratively, Alden is the Hospital. Alden is the Baby because forces that he can't control have power over him and will decide his fate. Alden is the Hospital because he has the power to act when faced with knowledge of the weaknesses and tears in the universe, but he isn't acting because other considerations are more important to him.

zetorian

There are trillions of those buggers. I'd bet they have a very formal dungeon ranking system and official embroidery for sex magic mastery

Robert Mullins

Hrrm. Bets on 2 hours, 10 hours, or 24 hours?

Sean Shivers

i dont think his inaction is a considered position... i think its just learned helplessness/stupidity (also known as being human)/ being a teenager/ etc. Maybe what the hospital is doing is shitty to the parents and the bundle of cells... but at least they have thought through their choices. Alden is still reactive... even standing up gainst bash was prompted by zeri..

Robert Mullins

The only thing more difficult than predicting if Alden will make a decision about any of his secrets within any given 100 chapter window is predicting if Sleyca will release a chapter within any given 24 hour window. I remember when people were thinking that Alden might reveal his wizardry during his rapport visit that was literally 100 chapters ago and I honestly can't tell if any predictions people are making now are more or less accurate than that.

Sean Shivers

I dont wanna get into an argument about real life abortion... but this is a magical universe... if the baby was a baby alden would need its permission to pick it up... so the hospital is absolutely right to deny alden. At least until he learns that he can get [an authority]'s permission to pick up a third party.... which i do think is inevitable. He would just need to absolutely dwarf the targets authority over itself.

puppy0cam

If the target is sufficiently incapable of providing consent, I believe someone else can provide it for him.

JJ Hunter

Side note: I really like the Snow chapters being in a collection together, it's making rereading them much smoother on Patreon. Thank you for organizing them like this, Sleyca; it's a very useful feature!

JJ Hunter

Why spend time betting on next chapter release time when we could be theorizing about ridiculously awesome things Alden could do with a malleable element like snow at hand?

JJ Hunter

He made an elemental shield out of a puddle not too long ago with a little help from Stu; what kinds of shapes might he go for with a whole field of snow to work with?

Clint

I should know by now. Approximately Saturday means breakfast time on Monday. But better a great chapter on Monday than a rushed one now. 🥲

boredwayfarer

Nice reference to three idiots

Dervish

Holiday commitments made it so I couldn't read this chapter until now, but holy gokoratches, it was worth the wait. I suspect Alden has not only answered some of his own concerns but also finished the homework assigned by his therapist. I can't wait to see if Stu gets to share in this insight as well as its results. Thank you. I loved the chapter.

ThoMiCroN

Alden is getting good at roasting people.

JJ Hunter

Tne rewrite to put the entire womb vault sequence in the same chapter really helps make it land better. Thank you for your dedication to your craft, Sleyca! All the little adjustments do add up.