IM/DC Chapter 207 (Patreon)

Solomon Grundy’s Point of View

Most of my mental acuity has returned now that I am not starving. I did have a verbal tick, and speaking was harder than it was before. It seemed that most people did not understand my simple way of speaking. It was nice to finally just… Exist without feeling pain or hunger, I wasn’t sure which was worse. The pain became bearable but the hunger was endless, the thin magic in the atmosphere of the planet not nearly enough for me to function.

I loved my new life as the bodyguard of this mansion and after scaring off a few kids from trying to jump the gate to swim I only got odd looks from our neighbors as I mowed the grass. It wasn’t something I needed to do as there were now a dozen staff members to take care of the mansion but it was nice to get out of the house every once in a while.

I was now getting paid along with the mana crystals I needed to not starve, which was nice. I understood the thought behind money but didn’t have a use for it. How much was a million dollars a year anyway? I followed the advice of my master, I’m not sure if that’s what we were, to donate most of it to fund orphanages.

That was where I was headed right now. My hefty donation allowed a closing orphanage to remain open and they wanted to give me a celebration for keeping it open. It wasn’t just me but also Harley and Ivy were both coming along with Stephanie and Cassandra going to show up at some point. Right now I was waiting in the back of the giant truck ready to visit the children there since midnight and since I didn’t sleep just sat patiently waiting.

I had caught up on all the episodes of The Bachelor which was on the gigantic TV in the mansion 24/7. They told me I could change it to show something else but after crushing eleven remotes I would need to ask one of the maids or butlers to change it for me and I’d rather just wait. I was excited, very rarely did I do anything but show up when the boss or one of the pretty girlfriends of the boss needed my help.

Harley and Ivy finally came out of the house and noticed I was patiently waiting in the bed of the truck already. Harley spoke. “Hey, big guy. You didn’t need to wait out here. We’re all excited for your celebration and we wouldn’t miss it.” I gave them both a big smile. “Solomon just too excited to see the children.” Ivy asked. “You could have watched TV if you were feeling antsy Solomon. You didn’t need to wait patiently out here.”

I huffed disgruntledly. “The Bachelor episodes were of Clayton. Couldn’t watch without getting upset.” Harley spoke sounding empathetic. “Yeah, I get that but you could have asked one of the butlers to change the channel for you. National Geographic is running a penguin marathon.” I let out another grunt. “Solomon didn’t want to bother anyone.”

Both girls chimed in with an ‘aww’ as we got loaded up into the truck and made our way towards the orphanage. We made our way to the orphanage after they stopped at a McDonald’s to buy a hundred cheeseburgers in case the kids were hungry and Harley ate six in the truck ride there. Speaking with a mouthful of meat as we both stare at her. “What? I’m pregnant and didn’t eat any breakfast.”

We ignored her as she asked again. “What!? Do I got mustard on my face?” She wiped her mouth with her dirty hands smearing the ketchup and mustard more than cleaning it. Poison Ivy spoke in a sultry tone. “Yeah, that’s a good look babe. Spread them condiments all over your face.” Leaning over to lick her face clean as I wonder why she isn’t paying attention to the road.

We rear end the guy in front of us obviously who comes barreling out of his vehicle his face flushed red from anger before he notices me and stops dead in his tracks. Harley gets out of the passenger seat and throws a handful of hundreds in the man's direction before getting back in. He sat there completely stunned as Poison Ivy drove passed almost hitting him.

We made it there and Harley shouted. “Fuck! We should have got some chicken sandwiches and fries for the vegan kids.” Poison Ivy quipped. “They’re orphans I don’t think they're going to be that picky with the food we brought.” I decided to speak. “Grundy just wants them to be happy.” They looked at each other before asking. “Should we go get more food?”

“We’re already here. Might as well just go in with the burgers.” We headed inside and dozens of kids ran around screaming. At least until they look at the three people who just entered the orphanage. Slowly with every new kid seeing them, they would go silent and any kid that was playing with them would get curious and come and look at what made them stop running.

The few that had water guns or other toys dropped them as they looked on in slack-jawed silence at the famous people who came in. The sudden quiet environment alerted the orphanage matron as she came to look. Instead of staring in silence, she has a look of surprise and excitement as she mentions. “If it isn’t our benefactor. It’s nice to meet the famous hero trio.”

My boss had done a good job at whitewashing Harley and Ivy’s past and painting me in a more heroic light. I went from a feared misunderstood villain to an almost universally beloved hero even though I didn’t do much. The children looked at us in awe, not fear, even though my gigantic body would scare most that wasn’t normally the case.

As if the children waited for the woman to finish speaking all of them screamed in excitement and ran over to us. The boys began crawling over me like a jungle gym while the girls crowded around their favorite of the two heroines who showed up. We ate food and there was a vegetarian and two vegan kids in the group. Harley remembered she could just portal and teleported back to McDonald’s to make a few batches of fries for them.

Most of the day was spent playing with the kids while Harley and Ivy kept alternating who went and got more food from different places. Over the course of eight hours, we managed to tire out the entire orphanage. It was only that rowdy because they wouldn’t have to be moved to other more crowded orphanages because of my donation.

Harley and Ivy looked beat and Steph and Cassandra left after only a few hours because they had to get back to their jobs. We sat watching a movie as Harley said. “Will it be like that when we have our kids?” Sitting in silence for about ten seconds Ivy finally chimed in. “Probably… It will be better because they’ll be our kids though… At least I hope so.”