Book 7, chapters 73 and 74. + Audible version cover reveal. (Patreon)

Hello everyone. Only one retcon you need to be aware of. Previous mentions of the War Crime spell described it a little. Throw all that out the window.

Chapter 73

<Note added by Crawler Carl, 25th Edition>

There’s a dictionary sitting here in the main room of the guildhall. It’s a large, old book. It’s from the 1800’s, which is a long time ago. Florin, of all people, had it in his inventory. There’s a bullet hole right in the center of the book that goes almost all the way through. I keep meaning to ask him about it, but, like with everything, there just doesn’t seem to be enough time. 

I just used the book to look up the official definition of “Atrocity.”

“An act of fiendish cruelty.”

It doesn’t seem fair, that definition. Or, perhaps, the definition is correct, but the system calling Donut’s War Crime spell an “Atrocity” is wrong. Or maybe it’s not wrong, but the true act of fiendish cruelty was giving her that spell in the first place. It came in the Legendary 1914 box, the box we’d received after killing D’Nadia. The same box I’d gotten the Run, Little Günter, Run spell in.

The sheer difference in capacity between those two spells is astonishing.

I am always afraid our plans won’t go as planned. Oftentimes they don’t. But never before have I prayed for a plan of my own creation to not be successful, despite us desperately needing it to work.

If she doesn’t cast this spell, we likely won’t survive the coming hours. But if she does cast it, and it works as advertised, what then?

She’s strong. She’s smart. She’s my best friend. She is the only true family I have left.

She says she’s ready, willing, and able to do this. But I fear she doesn’t yet know what she’s gotten herself into. 

And me? If I let her do this? What sort of monster am I?

This is war. What have I done? This is war.

~

“What the fuck does that mean?” I called after Lucia. She didn’t answer.

“Mongo! Mongo!” came Donut’s voice from above.

Donut: HIS HEALTH ALMOST WENT ALL THE WAY DOWN!

Carl: It’s okay. He’s okay. Gustavo is dead. Lucia is conscripted. Rend saved him. 

The fight between the gods had moved to the other side of Shanty Town. Yarilo screamed as the much-bigger Harpocrates beat him senseless with the ball. Yarilo was a feral god and not immortal on this floor and was about to die. 

“Lucia!” I called again. “Get back here!”

She stopped at that. She was still conscripted. She opened her mouth, but then she zapped away. She’d been teleported. Since we still weren’t allowed to do it, I knew she’d just gotten yanked by an admin.

“Goddamnit!” I moved to put the Nest between myself and the gale tower, but I hesitated. The Nest was still getting hammered by other towers, and I didn’t want to tax the shields more. Instead, I moved in the other direction and jumped into a ditch. Rend plopped down next to me. Mongo was already gone, back in the tower on his way back to Donut.

Carl: Donut, kill that gale tower for me and start working on the towers hitting you. I’m coming up to you the moment the gale tower is dead. 

Donut: I’M WORKING ON IT.

Zev: Sorry, Carl. The liaisons are indicating they want to interview Lucia now that the dog is dead. They’re indicating she won’t be available for at least an hour.  

Carl: Holy shit, what is going on with her? What did she mean by that with the kids? And the Eulogist?

I’d first heard the term “Eulogist” as something in conjunction with the nebular religious cult, and then again as Agatha’s boss or something. Paulie was a different kind of residual as Agatha, and he clearly hated the... what? Person? Monster? What, or who, was the Eulogist? Fopsy the adjutant for the Dream has also mentioned that name. And now Lucia Mar?

Next to me, Rend was peeking out over the ditch watching the gods fight. It appeared Harpocrates had an additional spell over the ball, keeping it from losing more health. I tried not to think about what it must be like for everybody stuck in it. The god held onto the shaft with two hands and was smashing the ball part down on the cowering god of lust, who was scrambling, trying to get away. The fleeing god was picking up chunks of buildings and tossing it ineffectually at Harpocrates.

Yarilo was the nephew or cousin or half-brother of Emberus. Probably all of those things. I couldn’t remember how the family tree worked. I hadn’t really gotten a good look at him, but he was humanoid, and he had long, blond hair. I was pretty sure he was some sort of elf-like creature. While huge, he was significantly smaller than Harpocrates. The ball he was getting beaten with was even bigger than him, which made the sight almost comical. Almost.

“Stop!” Yarilo shrieked as Harpocrates hammered into him. “Not my face. Anything but my face!” 

The shaft was more... rigid... than it had been before. It basically went from a flail to a mace.

Donut: DO YOU REMEMBER THAT SHAKE WEIGHT THING MISS BEATRICE HAD? THAT’S WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE. IT’S OBSCENE! 

Zev: We’re trying to figure this Lucia thing out. Listen. We thought we had a good handle on what was going on with her, but we were wrong. We’d assumed her getting inside was a glitch at the very beginning of the crawl. Not an uncommon one. We wanted to correct it and kick her back out, but once she started earning, they.... We gave her a few loot boxes to compensate and keep her safe. And now the AI won’t let her leave administratively. It says it’s unable to extract her.   

Carl: Yeah, but it’s like there are people inside her head. She says all the children of Earth are in danger. And what did the dog have to do with it?

Zev: It’s complicated, Carl. It’s not all the children. Just the ones that tried to get into the dungeon. And it’s only half of those. All the ones who were in a specific wing. They’re on the surface in the kinder facility. At least physically. Like I said, we thought we knew what was happening. It’s something that would’ve been corrected the moment she died or left, but we were wrong. 

A chill washed over me.

Carl: So what happens if she dies?

Zev: As of about five minutes ago, we thought the glitch would self-correct and release everyone. That’s what’s supposed to happen. Now? We don’t know for certain. The Eulogist is another name for the AI in the center system. We don’t know how it’s all connected for certain. But now we think... we think if she goes, they all go.   

Carl: How many is it?

Zev: I shouldn’t be telling you any of this.

Carl: How many fucking children is it?

Zev: About 120,000. Give or take a few.  

Holy shit.

Carl: I almost killed her, Zev. You almost let me kill her.

Zev: We learned something new the moment the dog died. There’s so much more, but now is not the time. You need to get back to work. None of this will matter if you don’t win. You put Lucia in your army. You conscripted her.   

Carl: You tell the liaisons to keep her in there until you figure out how to save those kids. She’s a goddamn dead man’s switch. A psychotic one. And she just lost her bodyguard. Don’t let her leave. Keep her safe.

Zev: It’s out of my control, Carl.

A massive chunk of building, tossed by Yarilo, missed Harpocrates, flew over my head, and crashed into the Nest.

“Hey!” Donut shouted, using her microphone.

Warning: The Nest Tower’s Integrity is at 25%.

Donut: THE BLACK TOWER IS DEAD! THE LAVA HELPED!

Carl: On my way!

“Come on, Rend,” I called, pulling the pet carrier. He started to giggle in protest, but I zapped him away anyway. I really needed to find him some sort of speed enhancement.

Once he was safely put away, I jumped up, and I ran back toward the tower.

I was momentarily taken aback by the sheer destruction wrought over what used to be Shanty Town. Most of our own towers, which we really never got to use, were trampled. The nest tower along with Li Na’s abandoned synergy towers still stood, but both were drawing a lot of fire. All the other buildings were just gone, flattened by the passage of the gods.

From Larracos itself, smoke rose into the air. The black, glowing river of lava continued to slowly lump its way over the edge. As I watched, one of the Larracos towers crumbled away.

“Please!” came the weak shout of Yarilo, followed by a terrible, wet splatch as Harpocrates slammed the ball down, shaking the ground.  

System Message. A deity has fallen. And while Yarilo was damned to the Nothing, his death has angered the gods. The heavens tremble with rage.

The Scavenger’s Daughter has looked away, though her eyes remain open. The benefit from Yarilo fades.

I moved back into the entrance of the Nest as I barely registered the messages. Donut had switched off the Donkey Kong stair trap, and the ramp had turned back to regular steps. I rushed upward, using my speed skill to circle up as quickly as I could. The curving stairwell was soaked in blood and stank with the familiar scent of lightning strikes. My feet echoed as I ran.

I didn’t have a true reason to get to Donut at this point. We had a new plan, and by going up the tower, I was wasting time. The fight was below, not up.

But I had an overwhelming urge to get to her. We’d been separated for much too long, and it just wasn’t the same without her by my side. If this was where this was going to end, I couldn’t bear the thought of not having her with me.

As I ran, messages came in. Li Na was back in the chat, organizing with Juice Box via Britney. Li Na was literally riding Harpocrates like he was a mount, who in turn still held onto the ball. The god was clearly enraged by this, but so far the conscription held. Juice Box offered some changelings to assist Li Na, and she had allowed them to also climb onto the god. We were about to move in on the war mages holding the castle, but first we had to take out a few synergy towers that had war mages in them. I said we’d engage once we stabilized the Nest tower.  

Samantha was also in the chat, sobbing about the death of Yarilo. She’d managed to locate Louis, but he was in some sort of secured jail cell, and she was waiting for the patrol to move away before she attempted to rescue him. By now it was clear that Warlord Fang was not in the Reaver castle, and that it was abandoned except for their “security” system, which was a bunch of robots.

The gravity-magic dragon that had crashed Party Planner remained circling above the Reaver castle, seemingly content to ignore everything happening on the ground.

If Fang wasn’t in his castle, then it was possible he, too, was in the ball along with Epitome Tagg. There was a way to find out, which I would do the moment I got to the top of the tower.

Donut was at work sniping the towers of Larracos, but it was slow going. Despite Lucia Mar’s insistence that the net holding her in place would soon run out, Donut remained trapped. The tower’s integrity was down to 16% and slowly lowering. With all the mages either dead or in the ball, we had no way to repair it.

I finally rushed into the uppermost level to see Donut atop her seat, dressed in her ghillie suit leaning against the parapet, her face pressed against the invisible shield like it was glass. The camouflage suit was a strange contrast to her tiara which glowed like a lighthouse beacon. 

Even though Donut had no weapon, the first thing I thought when I saw her was sniper. She looks like a sniper.

Victory was also here, standing in the corner, silently observing.

Mongo stood beside Donut bouncing up and down. He was missing some feathers around his neck where he’d been injured by Gustavo. And even though he’d been healed, he remained blood-soaked around his collar. It dripped on the floor in congealing lumps. I knew some of that was Gustavos, but it still hurt me to see it.

Blood was so much more red when it was spilled from someone you loved.

Mongo screeched at my appearance.  

Donut muttered, mostly whispering. Her voice had taken on a serious tone I’d never heard before. “Mongo, shush. Mommy is killing bad guys. Move, Bianca. Get out of the way. Aiming, aiming, aiming... Gottcha.” 

Crack!

Her fiery magic missile rocketed off, and a distant tower deep in Larracos sparked. This was followed by a secondary explosion, and the tower crumbled away.

“Not so tough with your head blown off, are you?” she growled.

Donut: I hit the war mage atop that death ray synergy tower. Moving to the next. 

“You’re supposed to be focusing on the towers shooting at the Nest,” I said. I unleashed Rend back into the room, and he let out a giggle. He moved to Mongo and giggled again as he started to lick the gore on the dino’s neck.  

Only then did Donut look up, and I could see her face. I tried not to react. I could see the hollowness to her eyes, as if they were trying to focus on something so far away, she couldn’t quite see it. It’d only been a few hours, but the change was stark. Hours of sitting up on high and raining death had taken a physical toll.

She’d been level 65 when she’d gone up into this tower. She was now level 74.

We gain things, and we lose them.

I held out my arms.

There was a pause, one that took just a heartbreaking second. But she blinked, her eyes focused on me, and relief filled me.

She let out a meow and jumped from her seat into my arms. She twisted, doing a barrel roll a few times in my grip, and then moved to my shoulders, circling around my neck, just like she used to do when I’d come home from work. She pressed her head against mine, purring loudly.

“My Magic Missile is level 15 now,” she said. “It tripled in power!”  

“That’s good, Donut.”

She eyed Rend there, who’d moved to Victory’s side and was attempting to gnaw on her belt.

She jumped from my shoulder, to Mongo’s back, to the ground next to Rend.

“Thank you, Rend. I still think you’re disgusting, but you saved my boy’s life, and I will never forget that.”

Rend belched loudly in her face.

Warning: The Nest Tower’s Integrity is at 10%.

I cursed and moved to the edge of the parapet. I eyeballed the closest tower that was still shooting at us. It was another gale tower, but this one was enhanced with splash damage, which made it less powerful than the one that had been tracking me. The blasts of air were probably twenty feet across, however, and they were drubbing the middle of the nest. The enemy gale tower’s health was in the deep red. I pulled one of my last rocket launchers, aimed, and fired. The crystal at the top of the tower shattered.

“That is some impressive shooting,” Victory said from the corner, speaking for the first time. I looked up at her, and Fopsy, the tripod adjutant for the Dream was now in the room as well. I hadn’t even heard him teleport in. His presence reminded me that I needed to locate the remaining two warlords, Tagg and Fang.

I turned my attention back outside, searching for the ball. Harpocrates just stood there, clutching onto the ball by holding Meatus, who’d lost his rigidity. Harpocrates now stood relatively close, right next to Li Na’s synergy tower, but otherwise unmoving. As soon as we got word from Britney that those in the college were ready to make their move against the castle, we’d all jump into action.

I activated my Ring of Divine suffering, seeking out those in the ball.  

The ring info populated a massive list of available targets, but when I filtered in enemies, there wasn’t anyone. The list was too long to just manually scroll, but I did anyway, and they were all just members of the Princess Posse or Team Retribution or mercenaries from the recently-defeated teams. I didn’t see anyone from the Reavers or the Dream. 

“Huh,” I said, trying to figure out why. Was it because of the fleshers? All the enemies likely were wrapped by fleshers, even though they were invulnerable. Maybe because their health was constantly going down and getting healed? I didn’t know. It wouldn’t list them at all if their health wasn’t 100% Either way, I didn’t get the information I needed.

I switched to Ping, and that worked. I sorted through the information, and sure enough the warlords were both there. Epitome Tagg and Warlord Fang were both nearby, both in the ball. To my surprise, there were also a handful of viceroys and orcs still alive, also in the ball. These guys were unaffiliated, which was odd. There was a pair of nagas as well, along with an Operatic blob creature. What the hell? Where did they come from? 

Did it matter? They were here now. I double checked the Ring of Divine Suffering, and I’d missed these guys before. All the unaffiliated outworlders were in the ball and were available to be marked for death. I wasn’t crazy enough to actually mark them as I had no way of guaranteeing what would happen next, but it was curious.

“They’re almost here,” Donut said. She was back in her chair, and she was aiming at a yellow-orange tower, which was shooting Magic Missiles similar to her own. Crack!

The distant tower crumbled and fell. The Nest’s health was now down to 8%, but with that last tower down, nothing was currently shooting at us.

“Who is almost here?” I asked.

Rosetta suddenly rushed into the room, panting. She wasn’t alone. Milk also came up behind her, not winded. Her wrists were loosely bound. We still had to pretend like she was a prisoner.

Rosetta bent over, gasping. “This teleport ban really, really is awful. I would not have come into the dungeon if I had known I’d have to do so much running. We left Dong Quixote at the base, guarding the entrance. He has that slug thing with him. The next time we build a tower this high, we are adding an elevator.”

“That’s what I said!” Donut exclaimed. 

Rosetta stopped and did a double take at Fopsy. “Former prime minister,” she said, inclining her head at the Dream adjutant. A grin spread across her face. “Get fucked. But I’m glad you’re here to witness this.”

When Rosetta bent over, I saw she had a second creature strapped to her. It was Edgar the tortoise, who was attached to her like a backpack.

“Comrade,” Rosetta said, still wheezing as she started to untie the straps, “you are significantly heavier than you appear.”

“At least you have your dignity,” Edgar grumbled as he unceremoniously clattered to the floor. Milk reached down with her bound hands and helped turn him upright.

“Oh my god, hi Edgar!” Donut exclaimed. “I thought you got sucked into the ball! Wait, why are you here?”

 Edgar started pulling things from his inventory. It was his tattoo kit.  

“What is happening?” I demanded.

“Donut needs a spell she doesn’t have for this last part,” Rosetta said.

“I thought you were bringing me a spellbook,” Donut said, looking at the tattoo implements suspiciously. 

“You need it at least level 8 for it to work in conjunction with War Crime,” Rosetta said. She pulled out a razor. It was a pink Bic, like something Bea would use to shave her legs. “Don’t worry. We’ll make it quick. Where do you want it?”

“Where do I want what, Rosetta?” Donut demanded.

Chapter 74.

“Sorry,” Rosetta said. “It’s gotta be a tattoo, and Milk here is going to etch words of power over it to increase the spell’s level.”

Donut scoffed. “Have you all gone crazy? I never agreed to a tattoo! Even if I had taken leave of my senses, we don’t have time! When he gave Signet the tattoo, it took all night!”

“It may not be aesthetically pleasing if I do it quickly, but it will work. Now come here, little one,” Edgar said. He stepped forward. “Hmm. Someone lift her camouflage suit and crupper for me. Yes. Best would be on her right flank, I think. Rosetta, quickly now. Shave her. I need a spot about as big as my foot.”

“You will not be shaving my ass!”

I held up my hand. “I thought we were going with Wall of Fire and Laundry Day?”

Rosetta looked at me. “This is the best way to quickly separate out the enemies in this situation. The fleshers have mostly wrapped themselves around the enemies already, despite their invulnerability, and Laundry Day might remove them and negate the effect, which will cause the fleshers to attack our own soldiers. We can’t risk it. Not with Eris and Meatus mixed in there. Our comrades and allies won’t have time to get to safety. This is an entirely different plan all together. We will need the fleshers still attached to them as the finisher.”

“What’s the spell?” I asked.

Donut continued to rant at Edgar. “Do I look like someone who doesn’t love their mother?” 

Rosetta smiled, which was rare for her. “We were going to go with Hamzo, but even with the Synergy tower’s effect tied in with the bonus from the War Crime spell, it won’t be a wide enough area. So we went with a Dinner Bell variant from a cleric who fell defending the FUPA. It’s a spell that came from him worshipping his deity, but it appears it’s going to work. Edgar extracted it properly, and with some ink tips from Milk, we don’t need the toraline anymore to do what we need.” She eyed Donut nervously. “It’s, uh, called Heel.”

“What? What?” Donut cried.   

Hamzo was a spell that stunned and then summoned an enemy to your location. Katia had it. Dinner Bell was similar, but it worked in a wide range over multiple enemies at once, and you could designate a location. It didn’t stun them. I didn’t know, exactly, what Heel did, but it was clearly something that dragged enemies toward you.

“And we’re keeping the second spell? Wall of Fire?” I asked.

“That’s right,” Rosetta said. “With them both amplified by War Crime, it should separate the enemies all out and drop them into a ring of fire. Fleshers are fire resistant, but symbiotes aren’t, so if any enemies resist, they should be pounced upon by the fleshers, turned to symbiotes, and then killed. That’s the finisher since War Crime keeps them alive. It’ll kill the enemy and any potential baby war mages. And if any survive that, there won’t be many of them.”

“Oh,” I said, and then upon picturing what was about to happen. “Oh. Oh fuck.”

A sense of revulsion washed over me.

I looked at Donut, who’d backed against the wall, hiding her backside. I had a thought. “All we need to do is find and kill both Tagg and Fang, and all their soldiers will drop dead.”

“True,” Rosetta said. “But if we don’t do this, they won’t get separated out in the first place. And Fang especially is difficult to locate. He’s worse than a changeling. This will keep our comrades the safest when we break the ball. If we don’t do this, we will lose hundreds, if not thousands.”

I sighed. She was right.  

Donut’s War Crime spell was both simple and horrific in both usage and scope. And while the area of effect was relatively low, the synergy tower’s ability to upgrade Atrocity spells and allow them to be cast over a wide area made War Crime a true spell of mass destruction. 

I had the extra-long description of the spell in my scratch pad. When I had first read it, the AI had been especially enthusiastic, which immediately set off my alarm bells. The more I thought about the spell and its implications—both direct and implied—I’d been overwhelmed with a sense of horror. Horror at how using this spell might affect Donut, especially if we used it to its full potential. 

War Crime.

As this spell is unable to be properly trained, it will start at level 5, and it will increase by 5 each time it is cast.

Type: Atrocity. 

Target: A line-of-sight beam extending from caster’s eyes that shoots in a narrow cone.

Area of effect: See description.

Cost: 1 mana point.

Duration: See description.

Cooldown: This spell can only be cast once per floor, and it can only be cast on the Scolopendra Levels, meaning levels 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, and 18. It can only be cast a total of 3 times.

This spell has been cast 0 times so far.

At level 5, the casting of War Crime requires you to choose two spells in your arsenal. It will then combine these two spells in a creative way. The spells will always do what they’re supposed to do, but it may happen in a fun, exciting, and unpredictable manner. Intention matters, and for this spell, we respect that. Just know it’s going to be awesome and something that most governments would consider unconscionable. 

At level 10, you will be able to combine three spells. At level 15, you will combine four.

The chosen spells must be at least level 8. Their strength beyond that will not be taken into consideration. Don’t worry. It’ll live up to the spell’s name.

I’ll make sure of that.   

Three notes:

One. Once you cast this, your health will be knocked down to 1%.

Two. You will lose access to the two spells for the remainder of the floor, but you will now be able to—optionally—chain those same two spells together and cast them simultaneously for the price of just one on later floors. All spells added to the mix during further castings of War Crime will be able to mix and match with one another, either all or in part.

And finally, Warning. No matter what happens to your targets physically, this spell can’t kill anyone directly. No matter what happens to them, they will not die from this spell. They will want to die. They won’t. Even if they’re chopped into pieces, liquified, and spewed across the playing field into multiple puddles, they will not die. You should probably have a finisher on hand if that’s your intention. As far as I’m concerned, I think it’ll be funnier if you leave them alive. But you do you.

So, what happens when you actually cast this? Let’s give an example from the one and only time this spell has ever been used in Dungeon Crawler World.

The Operatic warlord who cast this decided to combine two spells on a group of charging soldiers from the mantid team: Fireball and Paralysis. Not very creative, but it worked. He was parked atop a circle of power at the time, and the spell cast in a wide arc, hitting approximately 200 mercenaries for the mantids at once. There was only one true mantis in the bunch, and she noped out of the game all together by ejecting approximately ten seconds after getting hit.

The victims were paralyzed permanently. They were set on fire permanently. They were each blown off in an arc away from the caster where they didn’t stop until they hit something. For some of those poor mercenaries, that was very, very far.

They remained there, paralyzed and on fire and undying for the remainder of the floor. The caster of the spell received an experience point update for every hour or so of their suffering. 

Incidentally, the wuss of an AI in charge of that season decided to put the on-fire NPC mercenaries out of their misery once the floor finally collapsed about two weeks later.

Additional fun fact. The Operatic who cast the spell supposedly had to go for an identity reset after the crawl and was re-absorbed. Part of his essence eventually formed into Hortense Leadership Unit. I’d like to think that’s why he has a twitch to him. Collective minds should really have learned by now how to peel off their own... impurities. Otherwise you’re just wallowing in used bath water, if you know what I’m saying.

The whole last part of the description didn’t appear for anyone other than myself as far as I could tell. But it gave me a terrible, foreboding feeling about the spell. With her synergy tower, Donut could cast it on a large group of soldiers at once. We had all sorts of contingencies planned with several different combos. But, in the end, I agreed with Rosetta’s assessment.

I didn’t want her to cast it at all, but this would work. As Rosetta and Mordecai had both noted when Donut first got the spell, if the AI was clearly excited about something you were planning on doing, the AI would generally let you do it.       

Li Na: I think Harpocrates is fighting the Conscription, so we need to do this now. I’m back in my tower, and he’s harder to control when I’m not near him. We’ll need him to fight Eris when she’s free. Is everyone ready?

Britney: We are ready to go.

Donut: WE’RE NOT READY YET. ROSETTA AND EDGAR ARE TRYING TO DEFILE MY ASS.

I put my hand on Donut’s back. She was tense, which was causing both Mongo and Rend to get jumpy. “You don’t have to do this,” I said to Donut. “We can come up with another plan, but we need to think of something quickly.”

I met the eyes of the others in the room. Rosetta looked annoyed. Edgar appeared impatient. Milk was looking sadly at Donut.

“She’s not doing it,” I said. “We can’t force her to do something she doesn’t want.”

Rosetta appeared as if she was about to say something snarky.

Outside, things seemed to settle. Harpocrates stood still, like a statue, still clutched onto the shaft part of the ball, which sat motionless on the ground. In the distance, I could hear the unabated screaming of all within. All of the Larracos towers that could fire at the Nest were destroyed, and all the rest were now silent as our remaining friends were all hidden. The lava continued to slowly pour into the city, but it had been rerouted and was filling the upper levels of the funnel before moving downward. It would reach level 50 soon, and the defenders hiding in the college would have no choice but to move.

We now had about five hours before the War Mage team holding the castle would win Faction Wars.

Li Na: We need to hurry. I’ve ordered Harpocrates to stand still, but I can sense him fighting it.

“Carl,” Donut said, looking up at me. “It’s okay... You’re right. It’ll work. It’s just... I hoped none of them would be on the outside.”

“What do you mean?”

“The scars.”

I closed my eyes, and I went to a knee. “Donut, if you decide to do this, it won’t be a scar. It will be a badge of honor. You know why? Because if this works, you will always have a reminder of the day you helped save everyone. And if it doesn’t work out? Well, it’s just a tattoo. This is no scar, Donut. Not even close because it was your choice. And, you know what? You can still say no, and we’ll find another way. We’ll find another way, and nobody is going to fault you for it.”

She looked at me, eyes shining. “I’ll only do it if you also get a matching one. A matching ass tattoo.”

I smiled. “Absolutely. But it’ll have to wait a day or two.”

The ghillie suit disappeared. The crupper disappeared. She turned, facing her tail to Rosetta. “I suppose it won’t be so bad. Miss Beatrice had a few monstrosities on herself as well, and as awful as she was, she was still beautiful.”

I laughed, moving back to my feet. “You know, Rosetta, if you shave her right in the center of her back in front of her tail, it will make a bold statement.”

“So help me God, Carl. I will not have a tramp stamp on me.”

I laughed again, and this time, the laugh was genuine.   

Donut looked at Edgar as Rosetta went to work, first with scissors, and then a razor. “Is this going to be like a Signet tattoo? One that moves around and stuff? One I can summon? If so, can I tell it to stay away from my neck? I simply can’t abide neck tattoos. And what are you drawing, anyway? Can you make it a flower?” She gasped. “Can you do a baby Mongo?”  

“This is a different kind of tattoo,” he said. He was already preparing the ink. “That was stabilizing and preserving a memory. This is something new, and I honestly don’t know what will happen once it’s complete. The ink Carl had from the toraline allows one to borrow spells and skills temporarily from willing subjects. It allows one to take them permanently from unwilling subjects. With help from Milk, I have learned a few new tricks. This ink is similar to that made with the toraline, but not identical, and I don’t know how it’ll form. It captures the essence of the fallen crawler in a unique way, and it allows you to learn one of their spells or skills. Rosetta was just telling Milk and myself about that book of Voodoo you have, and I believe you may be able to share skills and spells that way as well, using the same ink. It will be more temporary.”

“Temporary?” Donut asked as Rosetta backed away. Donut now had a small, round bald patch on her right flank. “Then why don’t we do this that way?”

“No time to experiment. Now hold still,” Edgar said, picking up the poker with his mouth.

“Wait, wait, what are you drawing? You didn’t say!”

His next words came out a little muffled, but I still heard it.

“A dog.”      

~~~~~~~~~~

Hello all! We only have 2-3 updates left before we're done. I anticipate finishing the draft on my end in the next few days. Thank you for all your support. I will try to have it all for you soon.

Lots of unanswered questions, some of which may have to wait. Some will have unexpected answers.

I will be doing a live interview with Maude Garrett about book 5 for her bookclub in a few hours. http://Twitch.tv/maudegarrett I think it'll be streamed on Youtube as well. Hope to see y'all there.

I have a question for you that will possibly turn into an official poll soon. This is related to book 8.

If you were forced to choose a mount for a long, uncertain journey, and you were given a choice, "biological or mechanical?" with no additional info, which would you pick? 


Preorder for this will pop up next week on Audible dot com. February. If we have any additional voices (Like Travis), they'll also get added to the cover.


They call it Faction Wars.

The ninth floor.

Nine armies, each led by rich and powerful aliens from across the galaxy. Each team has one objective: to capture and hold the castle at the very center of the battlefield. Strategy, alliances, pitched battles, and, of course, betrayal... It all makes for great fun and even greater television.

After all, none of these powerful aliens really die when they’re playing war.

Except this time. This time, winner takes all. Those who fall, stay in the ground.

As the AI continues its rapid decline, Carl and company take advantage of the chaos. For the first time ever, the crawlers are fighting back. They are now one of the nine teams. And this season, there’s a tenth army on the playing field. The NPCs, who are normally used as nothing but cannon fodder, have become fully self-aware and formed a team of their own.

For Donut and Katia, the stakes are even higher. Only one of them will be allowed to leave this level.

If they all want to survive, they’re going to need a little help from a veteran or two.

This is it.
This is what they’ve been fighting toward.
This is war.

This inevitable ruin.