Jess Vs. Food - DQ and Chicken (Patreon)

This is a new series... maybe, where i rant and complain about food and how terrible it all is and what a constant burden it is to have to shove this crap in my body just to stay alive in a world that sucks and is full of losers anyways. 

In this first episode i holler at Dairy Queen and then Rail against Maryland Chicken, which if you haven't heard of it is like KFC but with grease to chicken ratio painfully skewed in the wrong direction. I mean... even more so than KFC. 

I don't know what's worse, the low quality food at most places, the mentally exhausting journey to get to where food is, the hair pulling insanity of having to interact with the drooling slow-tards who serve it, the intense emotional pain of handing over your money for this overpriced dog-slop, the spiritually depleted drive home, or the hollow empty feeling when you shove it all in your face and sit there completely unsatisfied while realizing you've somehow lost 3 and a half hours of your day. 

All i know is by all that bullshit combined a nightmare is formed that is the daily reality for me and millions of others who possess neither groceries nor a home to put them in. Such is life in 1980s Russia by which i mean 2020 America. 

I would be shocked if this is the only episode of this series i ever make, considering i have a terrible hell adventure like this every day of my life. For me, going out to get food is exactly as dangerous as it was for my caveman brothers some 200,000 years ago, and about a million times more annoying. I tell ya they never should have thawed me out, i wanna go back!